As he walked Akane home, Ranma didn’t really pay attention to the thoughts of his fiancées (a category in which Kodachi now belonged for real, if this group marriage thing ended up working out as well as Cologne seemed to think it would), revealing though they were. No, he had other things on his mind.
| This is all just… just so wrong. I’m… I’m actually going to marry a woman — three women! — just so I can stay with Ranma. I know Shampoo says I won’t have to do anything, but… but that won’t change what other people will think about this when it gets out. | It’s official: Ranchan’s life is totally nuts. I can hardly think of a way that this situation could possibly get more bizarre, but somehow, I know that that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Sometimes, I think I should have stayed home in Osaka, where it’s relatively normal. | I wonder if Akane will be okay. I hope so; now that she is to be wife, I will soon begin loving her, too. But now that I think on it, perhaps that is not the best way to phrase that statement to her. I am beginning to get the impression that my notion of “love” my differ from that of my husband and wives. | Well, I must admit that the events of this evening do not exactly herald the glorious conquest of Ranma-sama’s heart I had originally hoped to achieve, I suppose what I have is better than nothing. Indeed, I have quadrupled the number of potential outlets to release my physical desires, in theory, at least. |
| It is true that Akane is highly unlikely to seek any physical pleasure from me, but the gaijin… did she not say that her society accepts sexual contact between women? This could prove interesting — huh? What’s this? | Great. Just when I’m thinkin’ my life can’t possibly get any more complicated, something like this happens. Now, I’m gettin’ married ta four girls, when I ain’t even sure I can handle one. Hell, I can barely handle bein’ a girl myself. I swear, the kami must spend their entire day thinkin’ up new ways ta make my life more complicated. Ah, who am I tryin’ ta kid? It’s probably my fault anyway. If hadn’t been such a freakin’ wuss an’ just picked one, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Then again, considerin’ the genie I got, it probably coulda been worse. I mean, she mighta hitched my brain up ta every girl Pops engaged me too. Speakin’ of which, Pops is probably gonna pitch a fit when he finds out about this Amazon marriage thing. And Mr. Tendo. And Mr. Kuonji, too, most likely. And… then there’s… ugh… Kuno. Man, I really do not like the idea of havin’ him as a brother-in-law in any sense of the word. Face it, the only person who might be happy about all this is probably Mom. | What will all my friends think at Furinkan? What if they think I’ve turned into a pervert? What if I do turn into a pervert? Maybe I’m already a pervert — I actually accepted this, didn’t I? | |
| And, of course, Kodachi is certainly going to complicate things. Somehow, I doubt her idea of what “love” is would be considered mainstream in any society. That woman is just too, too perplexing at times. | Not that I’m all that normal to begin with, either. I mean, I am a cross-dresser, after all. This group marriage thing is not going to help squash any rumors that I’m a lesbian, either. | ||
| But Akane… never would I have imagined that she’d be willing to go through with this. Not after learning how conservative she is. I guess… I guess she really does love him as much as I do. Maybe even more. Who knows? She certainly doesn’t. | Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t there have been another way? Why did I have to insist on fighting him off for so long. I could have had him to myself — he could have had me to himself…. | I see…. Ranma-sama does have a point, I suppose. My brother can be quite irritatingly traditional at times. And now that I know that the redheaded girl he lusts for could easily be my husband-to-be, rather than the harridan, that will complicate matters thoroughly. | Hmmm…. Airen seems rather self-absorbed at the moment, though I supposed he’s entitled to that. I can ask him about the Japanese concept of “love” later — I may not be able to give him privacy, but I can at least try to avoid interrupting him. |
As he continued to mull over this subject, it became more apparent that the way that the families learned of this would have to be as carefully managed as possible — especially the Tendos and Saotomes. Fortunately, the person he needed to talk to at the moment was walking right next to him. “Hey, Akane.”
Akane was clearly lost in thought at the moment. “Huh?” Has he been listening in to what I was thinking?
“Uh, not really, Akane,” Ranma answered aloud. “I mean, yer dealin’ with a lotta stuff right now, an’ I’d rather leave ya alone as much as I can.”
“Oh.”
“Unless… unless ya want me ta listen, or whatever….”
“Uh, no, that… that’ll be fine for now. What was it you wanted to talk about?”
“Well, basically, I just realized that if we ain’t careful how we break this whole Amazon marriage thing to our folks, things could get pretty hairy, ya know?”
“I guess… so, what do we do?”
“Well, I think I got an idea that’ll make my Pops an’ yers more… receptive, I guess, at least until it’s too late for them ta change anythin’. I’m pretty sure it could work.”
“What is it?”
“Well, it’s like this…”
The conversation upon the pair’s return to the Tendo home went more or less as Ranma had expected. “Where have you two been?” Soun asked sternly. “You didn’t come home with Nabiki.”
“We were… we were taking care of a few things,” Akane replied, uncertainly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Genma here interjected himself into the conversation. “Isn’t it obvious? They were having a romantic rendezvous! At last, schools can finally joi—” the stocky martial artist was cut off as his son sucker-punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.
“How ’bout you quit assumin’ stuff an’ actually listen for once? We didn’t do nuthin’ ‘romantic’ at all. We were way too busy with the Amazons for anything like that.”
Soun sighed. “Really, Ranma, you can’t let that old woman push you around like that. You need to stand up for what’s right and marry Akane.”
“He’s not letting anyone push him around, Daddy,” Akane said. “In fact, he was making sure that wouldn’t be a problem.”
“You’d better start explaining, boy,” Genma commanded as he managed to catch his breath again.
“Well, we figured it was high time ta take care of the Amazons, and we figured out a way ta handle them.”
“What do you mean, Ranma?” Soun asked.
“Basically, we think we might have found a way ta get around those Amazon laws in a way that nobody’ll get hurt,” Ranma explained. Technically, this was true; the only things that were at risk of being hurt were their reputations.
Akane confirmed this with a nod. “We were at the Nekohanten hammering out the details this afternoon.” Also technically true.
“This is wonderful news!” Genma beamed. At last, the boy was beginning to take some initiative!
“Indeed, my friend, it is, and we should do our part to reward these actions,” Soun added.
“How so?”
“Why, by going to the clerk’s office so they can have the marriage they so obviously desire.”
Ranma, however, had expected this, and he already had a response ready: “Whoa, whoa, hold up — I said we’re tryin’ ta deal with the Amazons. I didn’t say it was a done deal.”
“And why should that delay your wedding, boy?”
“Hey, you know those Amazons, they got all kinds of loopy laws. If we went down ta the clerk’s office now, Cologne might call off the deal, and then come the death squads.” Technically, Ranma had not yet said anything that was really untrue; for all he knew, marrying Akane the monogamous way would result in the cancellation of the group marriage plan, which would have eventually meant Shampoo spilling those vital Amazon secrets to outsiders, after which things would get very messy, very quickly.
Fortunately, The fathers seemed to accept this after mulling it over for a few seconds. Finally, Genma exclaimed, “Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. This is still a glorious day! The school’s are all but united!”
Soun nodded. “Indeed, if anything, this signifies that the union of our children is but a matter at time.”
“This calls for a celebration.”
“To the bars?”
“To the bars!”
As the fathers jaunted out of the Tendo home to the establishment of their favorite purveyor of alcoholic beverages, Akane was almost stunned at how well things had worked out. Wow, Ranma. I think that actually worked.
Well, I ain’t a total dolt.
Actually, Ranchan, that sounds like a pretty good idea. Mind if I try it on my father?
What? Uh, sure, Ucchan. Knock yerself out.
What was that about?
I think Ukyo was listenin’ in, an’ since our plan worked on our fathers, she’s gonna try it out with hers.
Well, I hope it works out well for her… though Daddy and Genma aren’t going to be happy when they find out what’s really going on.
Well, I’m sorta hopin’ that my Mom will take this as proof of my “manliness,” and she’ll keep ’em from makin’ too much of a stink.
That might work… but there’s something else we need to deal with first.
Huh? What?
My sisters.
Whaddya mean by— Ranma looked up and saw Kasumi and Nabiki staring at the two of them, the former with a look on her face that was equal parts perplexity and concern, the latter with a skeptically raised eyebrow. Ah, crap.
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(Posted Wed, 18 Apr 2007 09:08)
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