"A little more 'hair of the dog', Tendo?" Genma gestured with the half full bottle he was holding.
"This is all your fault Saotome! Ever since you and your idiot boy came into our lives it has been one disaster after another! And now my treasured daughters are lost to me forever!" Soun sobbed.
"Oh stop being so dramatic! Your fatherly worries are a thing of the past! You managed to get rid of all three of your girls at once, to the same man! You should be thanking me!" Genma drained his cup in one swift gulp.
The sobbing ceased abruptly. "Well, I suppose that's one way of looking at it... but now we need to focus on getting Ranma and Akane together!"
"Yes, I agree. Times of crisis also represent unbridled opportunity. What if, when things settled down, Ranma and Akane had found... a new closeness?"
"Bah! Good luck with that, what with all those deranged girls that Ranma seems to attract!" Soun spat.
"Ah yes, the other 'fiancees'... Would it not also be a terrible shame if they were to suffer the same fate as Nabiki and Kasumi?" Genma's eyebrow arched dramatically.
"Hrm... it would indeed be a tragedy if they were to suddenly be removed from the path of our children's happiness." Soun did his best to twirl his mustache menacingly.
"Or, perhaps not so tragic... they're all crazy for Ranma. At least that way they could be with him... plus the Amazon and Ukyou are great cooks."
"And let's not forget that the insane one is rich!" Soun cackled.
Both men laughed heartily and toasted each other with sloshing cups of sake. After the mirth died down, Genma started rubbing his chin.
"Still, there is one more problem..."
Soun grunted his agreement in mid-sip. "Yes, the stupid boy who's always getting lost... Ryouga."
"I guess it's too much to hope that he'll just wander off again." Genma sighed.
"Feh! He was at breakfast this morning! Once you feed a cat they never leave!" Soun pounded the table once for emphasis.
"It gets worse though... He was transformed into a sexpet, just like Nabiki and Kasumi. A lustful, ravenous beast with only one thing on it's mind."
"Not just any pet... Ranma's pet!" Soun added, his brow furrowing. "Dear god, you don't think..."
Genma nodded solemnly. "I do."
"Then that means..."
"Yes... that boy will surely blame Ranma for his fate, as he always seems to do! If you thought he held a grudge before, hoo boy!" Genma sighed.
Soun groaned, remembering the damage the two's constant fighting had already done to his estate. "This will never do. What if Ryouga manages to kill Ranma? He's a lot bigger now than he was before the transformation, not to mention those claws!"
"Perhaps we should call animal control..." mused Genma.
"No! They might take away Nabiki and Kasumi!"
"And then we'd have to rely on Akane's cooking." Genma shuddered.
"Yes, it's quite a conundrum you two are in."
"You said it master Happosai... HAPPOSAI!?"
Happosai cackled as the atmosphere in the room grew heavy and menacing. "Now what's this I've been hearing about love slaves?"
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(Posted Thu, 05 Aug 2004 09:01)
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