Akane didn’t know quite when she fell asleep, but she did know when she started dreaming. She suddenly found herself in a wood that somehow managed to be reasonably well lit despite the thick forestation that should have blocked out any sunlight.
Of course, there were other, more obvious hints as well: “Well, well, if it isn’t the sexual neophyte.” Akane turned around to see the gentrified practitioner of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics who had irritated her to no end on multiple occasions in the past.
“I am not a slut, Kodachi.”
“I said ‘neophyte,’ not ‘nymphomaniac.’”
“What’s the difference?”
“Other than the fact that the two terms connote opposite meanings? Not much.”
“Whatever. Where’s Ranma?”
Kodachi motioned towards a clearing, where Akane saw her fiancé talking to Ukyo. “He’s over there, assisting the chef with her tenuous grasp of lucidity. The gaijin hasn’t shown up yet.”
Akane sighed. “Do you have to be so damn patronizing?”
“Of course. My social class is higher than yours—I have every right to be patronizing.”
“Look, I really don’t want keep arguing and fighting with you, alright? Not if we’re going to be stuck with each other for the rest of our lives.”
The gymnast responded with a raised eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, I know of a good way for us to put that animosity aside,” Kodachi said with a slight leer in Akane’s direction.
Akane, however, recognized the innuendo, and she wasn’t going to budge from her limits any time soon. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m not going to have sex with you, or Shampoo, or Ukyo, or Ranma’s girl form. Ever.”
“You say so now, but I firmly believe our situation will eventually persuade you otherwise.”
“I am not bisexual.”
Kodachi gave a patronizing chuckle. “As far as I’m concerned, everyone is bisexual. Most people just need some coaxing into a healthy state of bi-curiosity, that’s all. Obviously, you are one such person.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Sex is just a physical act—nothing more, nothing less. As long as one takes appropriate precautions to avoid embarrassing diseases and unwanted pregnancy, I see no reason to see any sexual act as immoral.”
“Even incest?” Akane asked with a sneer.
Kodachi groaned. “Ugh…. Why does everyone assume that we of the Kuno clan engage in incestuous acts?”
“Because you’re all delusional idiots who should be locked away in a nuthouse?”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. We may be aristocratic, but we’re not so foolish as to ignore the dangers of inbreeding. After all, it did quite a number on the Hapsburgs. No, it is essential to occasionally bring in hearty genes from the peasant classes to reinforce our own DNA—that’s why I became interested in Ranma, and why my brother is interested in both you and the redheaded harridan.”
“Humph. I knew that that jerk’s claims of undying love were phony.”
“I never said that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My dear, I believe you may be confusing love with romance.”
The feeling of déjà vu felt by Akane at that moment was somewhat overwhelming. “Do you and Shampoo share notes or something?”
“Excuse me?”
“Shampoo stopped by my window just before I went to sleep—she said something about how love was different from romance as well.”
“Did she now? Explain.”
“She said that love wasn’t an emotion. That it was an action. I’m not sure—some things got lost in her accent.”
“I see. Well, I suppose that as long as you’re learning about what love is not, I may as well contribute to your education as well.”
“Oh, please,” Akane said with a scoff. “What do you know about love?”
“More than you, obviously,” Kodachi dryly replied. “At least I understand that love is an individual choice.”
“So why haven’t you ever chosen to love anyone?” came Akane’s sneering retort.
“Contrary to what you believe, I love many people. For example, I love the other members of my family a great deal.”
“What are you talking about? You can barely stand to be around each other.”
Kodachi just raised an eyebrow at this. “Clearly, your ignorance of love does not stop with your belief that it is just an emotion.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My dear, I can understand why you would confuse love and romance—it’s a very common misconception of modern society, after all—but the fact that you apparently don’t know the difference between loving and liking someone is downright mind-boggling.”
“I do so know the difference. I like most of my classmates at school, but I wouldn’t say that I love them.”
“True, one is not required to love someone in order to like them. But you seem to be under the delusion that liking is a prerequisite for loving.”
“It is! Isn’t it?”
“Of course it isn’t. Once again, I refer to my family. I cannot say with any honesty that I like either my father or my brother, and I know perfectly well that they feel the same way about me, as well as each other. Indeed, we detest each other so much that it is extremely difficult for us to spend more than ten minutes in each other’s presence without revealing our mutual animosity towards one another. Yet this in and of itself does not stop me from loving them. I would gladly do anything within reason to assure their long-term happiness, and I know they would do the same for me.”
“Are you serious?”
“Indeed I am. Now, I will grant you that liking someone makes the task of loving them a great deal easier, but it is hardly a requirement.”
“But you’re talking about family,” Akane said. “That’s different.”
“I do not believe so. As another example, take Ranma-sama.”
“What does he have to do with anything? Are telling me you don’t like him either?”
“Of course not! Why would I be? He’s from a completely different economic class, vulgar and uncouth, has absolutely no social graces, shares almost none of my interests, and has never shown anything more than contempt for my affection. And to answer the question that is no doubt currently forming in your mind, I can love him because he respects me, and because he’s repeatedly shown himself to be a man of high personal honor, even the antics of his father have made his family honor questionable. I have no doubt in my mind that he truly wants what is best for everyone he knows, friend and antagonist alike, and that is the type of person who is worthy of my love and devotion, even if any friendship between us remains strained.”
“Whatever. I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.”
“And I accept that. I simply ask you to treat me the same way I intend to treat all of you: with love.”
“So, what, are you saying you’re capable of loving all of us, too?”
“Given the necessarily intimate nature of our current situation, I should say that to not do so would be quite hazardous.”
“Fine. I’ll try. But don’t expect any miracles, okay? I’m still trying to figure out what Shampoo means when she talks about love, much less someone like you.”
“As I comprehend the situation, we are going to be afforded ample opportunities to learn how best to interact with each other, and you will find that I can be quite patient when it suits me.”
“And why, precisely, would this suit you?”
“My dear, I should think that obvious: as things stand, I’m going to get what I want. Granted, I ended up with the three of you in addition to Ranma-sama, but I believe that this group marriage business is a reasonable compromise. Indeed, I begin to wonder if such a result was not inevitable, given Ranma’s inability to choose amongst us.”
“I’m pretty sure he wasn’t going to choose you anytime soon.”
“All the more reason for me to be content with my situation.”
Akane just rolled her eyes and walked over to Ranma and Ukyo. “Whatever. You weirdo.”
Kodachi gave a derisive snort as her bride-to-be (a concept which was growing all the more intriguing with each passing second) walked away. “Don’t worry, my dear,” she said quietly. “You will accept the truth eventually.”
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(Posted Sun, 20 May 2007 03:46)
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