"HOLD IT!" said the concubine. "Why is a DOG leading me around on a leash?"
"Well, it's HIS leash," pointed out the boy.
"That isn't what I meant," complained the concubine.
"Uff?" chuffed the dog, cocking an ear at the boy.
The boy shrugged, then nodded. "Sometimes he's a Chinese Palace Guard, sometimes he's a ninja dog, but mainly he's-"
The leash was dropped as the dog began spinning around like a figureskater performing for the Olympics.
He's the kinda dog who's always in action,
his tail is wagging cause he's full of passion,
The concubine gaped as the dog sped up, his ears forming trails as he continued to rotate at high speeds.
Please do your best, Snoopy
On account of, on account of, just because
The concubine continued to gape, but noticed that her leash wasn't being held any more and so was trying to get it off her collar.
Onegaiii onegaiii
Please don't hurt my heart this way.
The fast drumbeat of my heart
tickles tickles ticks deep insideOh no, don't, oh no don't
gimmee that look.
Snoopy FLASH!
The spinning dog dropped down, quite obviously dizzy, now wearing a collar with a dog-biscuit ornament.
"What was THAT supposed to mean?" demanded the concubine.
"I told you that wouldn't work," said the boy.
Snoopy nodded weakly, hugging the ground and waiting for the dizzy spell to pass.
approx 950 BC:
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
The beagle landed, four paws lightly touching on the trunk of a tree and standing on it with a fine disregard for things like gravity and inertia. Ears cocked, eyes scanned, nose twitched. Then away again, the red scarf from his neck briefly fluttering as he made a leap to the ground and checked out his surroundings again.
A sideways leap avoided several kunai which perforated the ground, followed by a rolling leap so that his teeth lightly indented the neck of the thrower.
That thrower froze as the teeth closed on her neck.
"Your first mistake," said Ranma, stepping out of concealment, "was that you judged by appearances. You thought Snoopy was just a dog in funny clothing. Can you guess what your second mistake was?"
The beagle retreated, ears and tail erect and still looking at the trainee as if fixing on a rabbit.
"I revealed my location by attacking?" guessed the trainee.
"Good," said Ranma. "Next?"
"That's... me," said Saturn after a few minutes.
"You being a ninja isn't that shocking," said Mars. "Wearing a miko outfit though..."
"I think she looks cute like that!" said Venus.
"I don't know..." said Saturn, looking embarassed.
"She's right, you make a perfect shrine maiden!" enthused Sailor Moon.
"Gee... thanks," said Sailor Mars.
"Did you say something, Rei-chan?" asked Sailor Moon.
"No, no, hardly. Why would I say anything?" growled Sailor Mars.
approximately 951 BC:
The girl stopped in the foyer, staring at the mural. She had expected to see the Sennesai, the Master of this place, on such a thing. Her eyes dipped to a scribe of some sort, who was using a horsehair brush and a board of segregated paints to fresh up the faded painting on the wall.
What made it particularly worthy of staring was her own placement on the mural.
There were others around her in the painting, she was but one of many.
She examined it briefly, then the sheet of finely pounded bronze which caught the sun's rays and reflected it to the ceiling of the next room. Moving past the painter brought her to something which caused her to pause anew.
"Those are statues of yoma," said the painter as he worked.
"A yoh-mah?" sounded out the girl.
"You're Greek, aren't you?" asked the painter, using an odd-sounding version of Dorian. "They're creatures of Hades."
"Ah," said the girl. "Where is the leader of this place? I was told he sent for me."
"He is in the rear of the enclosure, you should refer to him as sensei," said the painter. "He prefers that title over such terms as 'Master' for reasons of his own."
"Why am I in that portrait?" asked the girl.
"Many questions have you?" asked the painter, letting out a deep and painful sigh. "These are the holy warriors who fought with the sensei ages ago. When one is born who resembles one of them, word is passed on to the lord of this place. So it was with the case of Diaf of Athens."
"You know of me then," said the girl.
"I am Theros, son of Anareus, son of Heraces," said the painter, stopping briefly to bow slightly towards the girl. "I am one of the artists who serves those needs of this monastery. Though mainly I concern myself with tilework, we all 'crosstrain' here. As to your identity, there are many wagging tongues here during the season before the harvest."
"Because during the harvest, nobody has any time to be gossiping," guessed Diaf. "Who is the warrior whom I resemble then?"
"Her name, or so I am told is 'Vee-nahs' which is apparently someone related somehow to Aphrodite," said Theros, "now go to the back and speak with Sensei as soon as he is done with his current task. Do not disturb him while he works though. It would be... bad."
"How bad?" asked Diaf, who had supposed she had been bought and sent here as a servant. She was not of a particularly well to-do family after all. It was one of the reasons that the picture of herself wielding some unlikely-looking sword had rattled her composure so well.
"The fires that maintain his life burn him from time to time, or so it is said," said Theros. "He sends the fire out of him into a vessel and it would be bad if one distracted him during the process. I expect it would be at least painful to receive that flame directly."
"When is this?" asked Sailor Venus.
"Looks like around 950 BC," said Mercury.
"Oh, and I'm Greek," said Venus, thinking this probably meant something but not sure what that something was.
"Looks that way," agreed Mercury.
"Hmmmm," hmmmed Sailor Venus, pondering something about all this.
Sailor Pluto could read the writing on the wall. Didn't mean she liked it or its message.
"The not-church of Ranma," said Genma. "He apparently had some issues with being worshipped. At one point he came up with the Five Directives, apparently inspired by some other group's Rules From On High."
"Gee, I wonder," drily said Pluto.
"It was in the year 1000 BC," said the priestess of the not-church, "or thereabouts."
"The Five Directives are," said Genma.
"1. Get Over It. The universe doesn't owe you anything. There ain't no free ride. Fix your own problems yourself, because you can't count on anyone else to do it for you."2. Anything Can Be Martial Arts Training. Get good enough at the martial arts and you can find uses for it everywhere.
"3. That Which Does Not Kill You Can Still Hurt. Just because the universe is a big uncaring entity doesn't mean it isn't out to get you. Avoid the problems you can, beat down the problems you can't avoid. Best if you can avoid an attack, THEN beat the snot out of your attacker.
"4. Do Not Worship Ranma. Nor shall you form cults or churches or that sort of crap. If you must do anything of that sort, make it a dojo and teach martial arts and improve your lives and that sort of thing. You especially should avoid making sacrifices and things of that nature, for Ranma may come and perform the Holy Smackdown on your head.
"5. Do Not Screw Over Others. Don't bully non-martial artists, don't take more than you need, don't go making more trouble than you really need to. Chalk it up to a life lesson learned over a whole lotta years."
"What about these?" asked Sailor Pluto.
"Oh, those are just addendums added later," said the priestess. "Like 'Watch Out For Violent Tomboys, For They Are Quick To Anger And Cause Much Property Damage' - that sort of thing."
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(Posted Sat, 07 Jul 2007 09:51)
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