As he read the letter, Ranma's eyes widened. Okay, this wasn't what he'd been expecting...
___________________________
Dear Ranma,
First thing is, you should probably hide or destroy this letter after you read it. Given the way your life usually goes, someone who shouldn't see it will find it and turn things upside down for you. Genma, Happosai, or any of your other fiancées would probably turn this helpful letter into a disaster. Akane might be an okay person to show it to (and she'll probably be curious) but I'd recommend waiting until after you're married and everything's calmed down a bit. For these same reasons, I strongly recommend you take this letter somewhere private to read it, if you haven't done so already. Most of what I'm going to tell you here is only for you to know. Like leaning a new technique, I'm hoping that by teaching you some things about how to deal with Akane, you'll adapt to them like you do any physical skill and, as you always do, come out on top! Call me a softie if you must, but that's something I'd like to see: You and Akane, not just married, but happily married! It really isn't as hard as it sounds, if you know the secret.
A lot of people get on your case because you haven't been getting along well with Akane, or making much progress in acting like an engaged couple, but I have to say that, really, it's not your fault at all. There's two major reasons why you can't get close to Akane.
First is that, being raised out in the woods with your idiot father most of your life, you haven't learned many social skills: techniques for getting along with other people, and what few you have learned don't help a lot with getting close to a girl. You can blame your father for that all you like, but at the end, it's still you who has to train yourself how to be better at this sort of thing. I will say that you're a bit better now than when you first arrived at the Tendou home, so you are learning. I just think we need to focus your training on one specific area: how to get close to Akane and make her happy, and be happy yourself.
There is one problem you have in the way you act, but it's something you can fix by training properly. I've noticed this several times before: when you get embarrassed, like if you were about to kiss Akane, you react with insults. This is a result of your father's training. Your mind considers being embarrassed like that as a type of attack, because it makes you feel awkward and unsure of yourself. Thanks to Genma, you automatically react by "counterattacking", that is, insulting Akane. To her, this is like you attacking her for trying to be nice to you, so she gets very upset, even more so than if you were just insulting her at some other time. You need to train this bad habit out of yourself. Even if it can sometimes be useful in combat, it's a crippling handicap when dealing with girls, Akane in particular. Of course, no person can really "unlearn" anything, so what you need to do is train yourself in new habits, train new reactions to replace the old, automatic ones that aren't working well for you. Don't focus on not counterattacking when you feel embarrassed, focus on actively doing something more helpful in getting close and intimate with a girl... maybe feeling happy or excited? Loved? I'll leave that to you to work on, though if you need help or suggestions, you might try talking to Kasumi or even Nabiki. In fact, Nabiki might be best for this kind of mental/emotional training. Yes, she's a bit sneaky, and she prefers to get something in return for helping people, but she also doesn't break her word, so if she promises to keep a secret, she will. You might try reminding her about all the damages that have resulted from your fights with Akane in the past. Those cost her money, so if she helps you stop those fights, she won't have to spend money fixing so many broken windows. She really hates that. She might agree to help you for free if she realises it will mean less frequent repair bills.
The second thing isn't even remotely your fault, and I'm getting pretty tired now of seeing people pick on you for it. That's one of the main reasons I'm writing this letter. Both your parents, and Akane's father, and sometimes even her sisters are frustrated that you can't get along with Akane, despite that they can see little signs here and there that, under all the arguing, you two really do care about each other a lot. Both of you. Now I've pointed out already that you don't know a lot about getting along with girls, but there's quite a few that like you a lot, and aren't afraid to show it, so you must be doing something right. However, Akane is not like those girls, or even the majority of girls I would say. There is something very different about her that the parents don't realise, and you definitely don't. It's probably the biggest stumbling block preventing you and her from becoming a real couple. This is Akane's secret. Even she didn't realise it until recently. No one, even a popular guy like you, with all the girls who chase after you, could get really close to her without understanding this special thing about her. I think you should treat this letter like a scroll with a secret technique, except this technique isn't for fighting, it's for how to stop fighting with Akane.
Here it is, Akane's biggest secret, kept even from herself until just a few days ago. She is a romantic submissive. Probably you don't know exactly what that means, so I'll explain.
Akane loves you... a lot. She really really does, even if she has a hard time showing it because you aren't treating her the way she wants to be treated deep down inside. I'm not blaming you here, Akane is complex, and it's not fair to expect you to make her happy without knowing the combination to unlock her very passionate feelings for you. That's what this letter is all about, giving you the techniques that will open her up to you. She spends a lot of her time daydreaming about what it would be like if you and her got along a lot better, acting like real lovers. Probably most of the other girls after you do too, but Akane's dreams are a bit different from those forward, pushy girls. In every one of her dreams, it's you putting the moves on her, not the other way around. She can't even imagine herself being the one taking charge, starting things going. It's always you initiating things, and her responding, in Akane's romantic dreams. It isn't really that she's scared of being in love with you, or where things might go if she was the one who took charge and made things happen. She actually wants things to go there, very much. All she's waiting for is you to take the first step.
You can compare this to martial arts by saying that Akane practiced an entirely defensive style, kind of like Aikido. She has no attacking moves in her skillset, only counterattacking moves. She can't start the battle, only respond to your moves, so if you don't attack first, nothing's going to happened. Since she's waiting for you to start, and you're just standing there waiting for her to start, she's getting frustrated, impatient and upset. Then she loses her temper on you and out comes the mallet. Maybe that's not the best metaphor, since the friendly match she wants to have with you stands for you two acting romantic together, not fighting, and you not making any moves she can respond to frustrates her and makes her angry, whereupon she literally attacks you in a very unfriendly manner. Maybe you should just focus on that, in romance, Akane has no offensive moves to use, only counters. She's also waiting and eager for you to make a romantic or intimate move that she can respond to. Unfortunately, you're standing 15 feet away throwing insults at her instead. Doesn't work well with her "style".
So, if you want to get closer to Akane, you have to make the first moves. I know that's a bit awkward for you, but you're a pretty brave guy, so I'm sure you can work up the courage. If you're afraid of anything, it's that Akane is going to react badly, hit you, or reject your feelings if you show them. I'm going to tell you right now that isn't going to happen. She loves you, and she is waiting for you. Going back to our friendly match metaphor, I think you're worried that if you throw the first punch, Akane isn't ready for it and you're going to break her nose. That's not how it is. She's prepared to counter, and hoping you'll start things so the match can get underway.
So, as an example, if you and Akane are sitting next to each other, she won't put and arm around your waist and lean into you. However, she is very much hoping that you will put your arm around her shoulder, so she can respond by putting hers around your waist and leaning against you. Understand? You have to go first.
Or if you wanted to kiss her, it has to be you who walks up, takes her face gently in your hands, leans in and presses your lips to her soft ones. If you can do that, she's ready and eager to lean into the kiss, put her arms around your waist and pull your bodies together. She may even be the first one to slip her tongue into your mouth, now that you started the kiss, though if you want to hurry her up, start the Frenching yourself. She'll be quick to take part in any tongue-war you start. Chances that she'll shove you away and slap you: Never in a million years.
Shall we take this one step farther? Akane wants to make love to you, to have hot, sweaty sex for hours on end until you're both too exhausted to lift a finger (or other extremity). I'm not guessing about this, I know it for a fact. I'm telling you this because she can't, but definitely wants it! However, she isn't able to start things off, even telling you herself that she would be willing ("willing", ha! More like hungry for it!) What she wants, more than anything, is for you to be the one to put a hand on the small of her back, lead her up to her room, and lock the door behind you. She then wants you to pull her close, kiss her hard and hungry, like you want to devour her mouth. She wants you to run your hands over her body through her clothes, touching and squeezing places she'd never be brave enough to tell you she wanted touched. She wants you to unbutton her clothes and slide them off her body. She wants you to (gently mind you) push her down onto the bed and fuck her like she stole something (er... try to be gentle the first time, at least)! I don't know how you'd feel about this, but she also would want you to, at some point or other, pour a glass of water over your head and come back to bed for Round Two.
She will follow if you lead. She will kiss back if you kiss her. She will touch you if you touch her. She will undo your clothes if you start taking off hers. She will part her thighs for you if you put her on the bed. She will thrust her hips up to you if you thrust yours down to her. She will show you exactly how good you just made her feel if you change to your girl form and tell her to get between your now smoother thighs.
Also... if you decide you want to do this before marriage, she will do this with you. If you really feel strongly about waiting until Akane is your wife before you have sex, than she will wait with you (though not very long, and not very happily).
If you act, she will respond favorably. You have my word on that. I know all this from talks I've had with her in private. These are things she has told me herself, but doesn't know how she can tell you. She doesn't have your courage, Ranma. That's why you have to be the brave one, the man-among-men.
Looking back over what I've written, and how some of it makes Akane sound, I think I should make clear that while I am saying Akane is ready to have sex with you, and is submissive, meaning you basically have to take charge and start most things going, there are limits. Akane's submissiveness is every bit as much romantic as it is sexual, so I really don't think grabbing her, tying her hand and foot to her bed, gagging her so she can't scream for help, then raping her, would be something she would like. Actually, she might at some later point, after you two had already made love many times, and you both knew that it was just a game to play, and not serious. Put that on the shelf as an idea to try maybe six months or so after you're married, and make damn sure you talk to her about it first, to make sure she's okay with it! It could be a very exciting game she might like, but only if she had complete faith in you, and had no doubts whatsoever about how much you loved her. Right now, that's something she's very worried about. You should start with the affectionate touching, arms around her shoulder, kissing, and maybe after that, when she's in a very good mood, make sweet sweet love to her. Throw a wedding on top of all that, and I believe she'll never cry herself to sleep afraid you don't love her, or that she's going to lose you, ever again.
Hmm... I wonder... how much do you really know about having sex? It can't be all that much, since your idiot father dragged you over half the world for most of your life. Most guys know at least the basic idea from watching adult videos, but you live in a house with three girls, in a shared room, and the only VCR being in the living room. You could wing it, of course, but given that Akane isn't likely to be very proactive or volunteer information, you might not get anywhere. If you really want to impress Akane with your bedroom skills (and especially that you don't need to ask her what to do, which I think would really ruin the mood for her, considering her personality) I think you might want some training. Very good, practical training, if you really want to impress her. All her fantasies are about you being in charge, taking the lead, and showing her how to make love to the man she loves. You can understand how it would kind of spoil her fantasy if you didn't have a clue what to do, right?
I'm going to make you a very special offer, Saotome. For Akane's sake, and so that your first time together is a magical experience she can treasure in her memory for as long as she lives, I am volunteering to train you in sex. That isn't an offer I make lightly, and despite what all the girls chasing you think, I'm not expecting it's going to be especially satisfying. It's going to be awkward, weird, embarrassing, and at the end, when you're finally good at it, I don't get to keep you for myself; I'm sending you back to Akane so you can show her all the skills you've learned by practicing with me. Better you get it all figured out and make all your mistakes with another girl you're not going to marry, so that when you get together with her, you have great lovemaking skills almost as good as your fighting skills. Don't mistake me, I'm not trying to trick you into doing something that would prevent you from marrying Akane, or to claim you for myself. I'll come right out and say it. I do kind of like you Ranma, but I don't want to marry you! This wouldn't have anything to do with love, just training. Well, that and making sure Akane is happy, and that you're still the best of your generation. :P
If that sounds like a good idea to you, write me a letter to arrange a meeting and give it to Nabiki to deliver. Don't worry about paying her. I already arranged for her to get a reply back to me.
You know, I've talked a lot about making Akane happy, but I honestly believe you too will be a lot happier once you two understand each other better, what each really wants, what each really needs. My deepest hope is that you'll use what you learned from this letter to make both of you very happy together.
Sincerely,
Your Friend and Akane's
___________________________
Ranma, very slowly, folded the letter back up and returned it to the envelope it came in. He tucked it into a hidden pocket he had sewn into the inside of his shirt some years back (as a way of hiding at least a few bills from Nabiki). His entire face was burning so hot he was dizzy, so it was probably a good thing he was already sitting down.
"Oh man..."
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(Posted Sun, 15 Jul 2007 01:47)
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