"Well, if you really want to go to the Kunos' house, I can bring you there. I didn't really plan on going anywhere near those loonies by myself, but if you must, I might as well protect you."
"Protect us?" Peach wondered. "Against what?"
"Ya know, the usual: Traps, giant alligators, the principal's scissors..."
Kimiko paled. "Toad, nothing against your uncle... but when I meet him again, forgive me for strangling him to death! HOW could he bring my baby to such people?"
"Your... BABY?" Ranma gasped. "You want to tell me that your baby is at the Kunos' house?"
Kimiko nodded.
Ranma grimaced. "Whoever brought that little kid in there is gonna have to give me some goddamn good answers! But for now, let's just get him... her... away from there. Um, is it a boy or a girl?"
"A g-g-girl," Kimiko stuttered.
"Okay, just leave it to me. I'll help you find the place and save your child. Who knows what insane ideas Kodachi will put into the girl's head once she finds her... C'mon, it's this way!"
"W-wait a minute," Kimiko muttered, but Ranma didn't hear her.
She looked at the princess. "Um, shouldn't we explain to him that he got it wrong...?"
"Well, he seems pretty excitable... and he's clearly well-meaning and intent on bringing us there. I think we can shine some light on the misunderstanding as soon as we get there."
"Hopefully..." Toad murmured.
"Hey, what are you all waiting for? Hurry up!" Ranma shouted.
Meanwhile, someone else had already reached the Kuno mansion. He wasn't a member of the family, but wasn't completely faultless either. He had a big nose, an even bigger belly, pointed ears and two rows of huge teeth.
He also liked to dress himself in yellow clothes.
"Heheheheheh..." Wario chuckled. "This-a place reeks with treasure! If I'll be damned if I don't find a few nice coins in here..."
Avoiding traps in a huge castle or manor wasn't completely new to him, and if his big nose smelt gold, there was no stopping him.
He snickered. "Hopefully the people living in here don't mind that their lil' alligator is-a a bit tied up now..."
It wasn't quite an easy task to tie the beast's tail around its muzzle, but at least it wouldn't bother him again. A little swing-dinging, and the reptile was now hanging from a tree.
"It was-a good of Kamek to hire me as well," the treasure maniac grinned. "Who knows-a what the stupid King Boo is doing right now... if you want something retrieved, call for Wario! Well, but only if you're willing to relieve-a your wallet of it's-a contents..."
He then opened the hidden safe in Kuno Sr.'s bedroom, and his eyes turned into dollar signs.
"MAMMA MIA! Now that's a loot! Bwahahahahah! Wario's-a gonna be richer than rich!"
He pulled out his sack and put as many money in there as he could carry.
Suddenly, something zipped past his pointed ears and got stuck in the frame of the bookshelf.
"Eh?" he wondered. "Now what?"
"Put that back right now, scoundrel!" a lispy voice spoke up. "This money belongs to the glorious house of Kuno!"
Wario turned around... and sighed. "Ah, it just had to be a bloody ninja, eh?" Hopefully, this guy wouldn't be as skilled as the ninja twins in his hometown, Kat and Ana...
"Did you not hear me, thief? Put the money back where it belongs!" Sasuke ordered.
Wario grinned. "What Wario finds, Wario owns! You better say bye-bye to your cash, little ninja!"
"N-not if I can help it," Sasuke protested and jumped at Wario.
But the greedy anti-hero was a proficient fighter as well.
He jumped into the air just as Sasuke was going to attack him... then he let him taste his powerful ground pound.
Sasuke had not even the time to gasp as Wario's massive weight pressed all air out of his lungs. With a satisfied grin, Wario climbed off the twitching ninja's backside and grabbed his feet.
"Now to send you for a little ride!" he laughed and started swinging Sasuke around and around.
The ninja servant of House Kuno felt as if his lunch was finding its way back out. "Stooooop..." he whined. "I'm gonna puuuuke... Leggoooo..."
Wario grinned evilly. "Well, if-a you insist... have a rotten day!" And he hurled the dazed ninja right out of the window.
He smiled. "That takes-a care of that!" He shouldered his sack, enjoying the jingling of the coins inside. "Now for the thing Kamek sent me for..."
A few minutes later, he found Kodachi's room... and the black rose that was standing in a vase next to it. He grinned. "Now that was easy!"
He reached into his sack and pulled out a small capsule in which he carefully put the rose. "One flower for Kamek, a big amount of dough for ol' Wario!"
Then he turned around to leave... and froze when he looked at the furious face of Kodachi Kuno.
"You... you ugly little dwarf!" she seethed. "You could have taken my brother's bokken... you could have taken my father's riches... you could even have taken all of that AND beat up our ninja servant. But I'll never, NEVER allow you to run off with my most precious belonging! NOW GIVE IT BACK!"
Wario grinned, turned around... and let off some gas.
While Kodachi had to retch and hold her nose, Wario ran off with his loot, proclaiming: "Wario wins!"
He jumped on top of the stairway's handrail, slid down to the first floor and ran over to the exit. He opened the door... and froze.
He didn't know the pig-tailed youngster or the kimono-clad lady... but he clearly recognized Toad and the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Ranma frowned. "Who's that?"
Toad gasped. "It's Wario!"
The fat scoundrel laughed. "That's-a right! It's-a Wii, Wario!!"
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See other episodes by Shritistrang
(Posted Wed, 25 Jul 2007 15:55)
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