Ryoga marched through the wilderness. He was hiking up a long trail on a grass-covered mountain.
He then came upon a precipice overlooking the valley below. He sighed and sat down, contemplating the night sky, wondering about where life was taking him.
"This is all Ranma's fault." he muttered.
Then he spotted a shooting star, slowly gliding across the sky.
"I wonder if Akane would like something like that." he said, in a dreamy manner.
He took another drag on his stick of weed.
He looked up to see the shooting star was still visible.
"Gnarly." he said. "I think I'll get it for Akane. Come here star, I'll box you up."
He stood there giggling and holding his arms out so he could catch the star and give it to Akane.
"Hello, little star, you're now for Akane." he mummered as he reached out for it.
*SPLAT!*
***
"We are sorry, Earthling. We have ended your harsh life. And, although we can return it to you, there are some things we cannot return. But it's your own fault. You were smoking pot y'know."
***
Above the skies of all the world, the same image appeared. It was that of the boy's face, from the collarbone up. Several people even knew who the person was. This image was accompanied by a voice:
"The following message has been translated into your world's languages for your convenience."
"We are beings unknown to you from a place of which you are unaware. I believe you would call us aliens from outer space. We have come to this star system to study the behavior of beings in the fifth stage of evolution. This is your species. But it happened that our ship suffered an accident. This one, one of the fifth-stage beings, was present at our landing site."
"And this Earth creature... suffered injury. Of course it's his own fault. He was standing there, giggling like a maniac would, and smoking pot."
"We therefore, in accordance with the Law for the Protection of Planetary Beings, apologize for our role in this incident. Furthermore, regarding this Earthling, a complete tissue-regeneration has been performed, except... How should I put this... An error has occurred. This being's sex has been changed - again, our deepest apologies. He has become a girl. A perfect, complete female. More than this we have been unable to do; our understanding of your biochemistry and development is a tad lacking, and we believe this process to be irreversible."
***
To show that this was no joke, a full-body nude view of the transformed boy appeared in the skies, revealing her new femininity for all to see.
***
"Serves the pothead right y'know." went the voices of many guys, and girls, across the whole globe.
***
Cologne shook her head. She had warned that boy about such things.
***
"Whoah." said Ranma. "I didn't know Ryoga was a pothead. It does explain much about him though."
***
"We hope that you regard your fellow Earthling with all dignity and civility due a sapient creature."
***
A beam extruded from the spaceship, depositing the boy, now girl, on the plateau from which (s)he was injured.
"Please treat this girl well. this ... um, I had her name written down somewhere... If you will wait a moment..."
***
Across the world many people muttered "Maybe they're smoking pot too you know."
***
"Ah. Yes. Here it is. Ahem, treat well this girl. This one that's called Ryoga "pothead" Hibiki."
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(Posted Fri, 14 Sep 2007 20:40)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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