Hachibe Maeda was walking home after a productive day at school. For most, this would mean things like their studies were progressing well, or they had made a new friend, set a new personal record in gym... But Hachibe was not most people. For Hachibe, the only purpose behind studying was to ensure he was able to remain in a place that just so happened to be home to so many of his precious parts. Today, he had been very fortunate. It started off when Tsubame Ameyagi, his landlord, had complained of stiff legs in the morning and let him massage them. After that, he had gone upstairs and overheard Kirino Ootori singing in the shower. She pounded him a little when she realised he was eavesdropping, but she didn't notice the tape recorder so it was all good.
And things had gotten even better when he'd actually reached the school. He pulled out the pictures he'd been able to take, marvelling in the beauty of the parts captured on film. He'd even located a few new perfect parts he'd have to watch out for.
"Now there's the face of someone with all sorts of troubles."
Hachibe stopped. He was sure he'd heard a voice just then, but couldn't see where it was coming from.
"Down here, pal."
He looked down. There was a tiny man with a briefcase, looking intently at him. Somehow, despite his stature, he managed to have an expression that made it appear as if he was looking down his nose at Hachibe. "Can I help you with something?" he asked.
"Hmph! It's not a question of whether you can help me, but if I can help you." With a sudden gesture, the briefcase lay open on the ground and a half dozen strange and unusual items popped out. Each had a price tag attached, and each looked to be fairly cheap.
"Judging by the way you carry yourself, you have girl troubles. I'm right, aren't I?"
Hachibe thought for a moment about all the times Ootori would throw her shurikens at him, or Tenmaku would hit him for being perverted, or Ayame would manipulate him into doing things by belly dancing for him... "Now that you mention it... I'm actually pretty happy, thanks!"
The salesman mumbled something he couldn't quite catch. For some reason he was lying face down on the ground. He picked himself up, dusted himself down, and continued. "Look pal, you obviously don't quite get how this works. I ask you if you're having girl troubles, you says yes because most every guy your age does, then you buy something that happens to be the exact amount of money you gots on you. Then you go home, use the thing, it makes your life better, you get the girl... It's a whole system we got set up here! Don't ruin this."
"Such passion... You're a fate fetishist!" The salesman fell over again. "Alright!" Hachibe continued, "I'll help you out and buy something."
"Great, kid. So how much you got on you?"
He dug through his pockets, searching for loose change, added up the amount he had, and realised that one of the items in the briefcase just so happened to match perfectly.
"I guess I'll take the..."
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(Posted Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:14)
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