Genma had not had a good day. Escaping from imprisonment at Tokyo Zoo had, near enough, been the high point. The outfit he had appropriated from the security guard had been uncomfortably small, but he could have lived with that if some idiot hadn’t brought a bottle of juice onto the subway.
Naturally, Genma had reacted to that surprise as calmly and rationally as any heir to a great martial tradition might, and there had at least been a coffee stand in the next station. Unfortunately, in the panic, the jersey had split and he had lost the trousers altogether. This gave him two problems: one, that he was now partially clothed in a public place, a situation which (from memories of the Master’s activities) was guaranteed to cause him problems if he didn’t correct it quickly; and two, that he had lost all the money in his disguise, since the jersey lacked any pockets. Deciding to take the course of action least likely to lead to an embarrassing confrontation, he used the Umi-Sen-Ken to retreat to the men’s lavatories and waited for a suitable person to borrow an outfit from.
He spent half the day hiding in a cubical. Eventually, the only other person in the facility had been a fat cleaner, and Genma had struck knowing he likely wouldn’t get another chance until late at night. Unfortunately, that had netted him a shirt and trousers too large for even his frame and no money whatsoever. He had, however, found a railcard thing, which he used to resume his journey to Nerima.
Arriving at a station named for a famous city park, he had broken his travels for lunch, knowing that many bento would be only nominally guarded at such a venue. Some two hours later, he had once again boarded the subway, now dressed in the uniform of a Tokyo Animal Control Officer.
By this time, it was clear that he would be late arriving at his friend’s home, and so it proved. In fact, it was near, if not past, dinnertime; so he was more than slightly surprised to find only Soun and Kasumi home.
So, he asked the obvious question. “When’s dinner?”
“I’m holding dinner until we hear from Ranma or my sisters. It can be ready in a few minutes when they come home.”
“Oh,” he grumbled. “Where are they?”
“I don’t know!” wailed Soun. “They haven’t called! My little girls are missing!”
Genma twitched. Was he too late? Had Nodoka found the boy already? And why was his old training partner looking at him like that?
“Genmaaa…”
Genma cursed inwardly. His old buddy Soun was working up to the Demon Head, a technique as effective as his own ‘Crouch of the Wild Tiger’ in its own particular niche. Quickly, he started covering his back. “Ah, do you recall just a little bit before I took Ranma away on the training trip I mentioned an attack on my wife’s clan? I must have told you…”
The sun blazed on the horizon as a car with blue lights on the roof – not lit – rolled to a stop outside the Tendo home. The passenger door opened, and the officer got out and opened the back door for the three girls.
Nabiki stepped out with the same aplomb she would adopt for debarking from a chauffeur-driven limousine. Akane scrambled out a little less gracefully, and Ranma followed close behind. As she drew herself up to her full height, the police officer bowed deeply. Akane and Ranma bowed back. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, he closed the door, climbed back into the front, and the patrol car pulled away.
“Well, I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but that was quite enough excitement for this week, thank you,” remarked Nabiki as she led the way through the gate.
Ranma snorted. “Well sure. Next time we have to defend innocent jewellery from foul robbers, we’ll make sure to get you well out of the way first.”
“Don’t think I didn’t see you waving your mobile around, Nabiki,” jabbed Akane. “I’m sure you’ll be spreading that footage around for the next week.”
“Sister! You wound me! I’ll have you know I was calling the police!”
“With the camera?” Akane opened the front door and called “We’re home!” before kicking off her shoes. “Anyone would think you werrk!”
“Oh, my little girl’s safe!”
“Daddiiie!”
Ranma paused in the doorway, frankly staring. Akane had one arm free, but that didn’t seem to be much help getting her out of her father’s bear-hug-and-sobs special combo move.
Nabiki sidled past, unable to resist muttering, “Of course, this is the other dangurk!”
Akane staggered out of her father’s reach, gasping for breath. She put out a hand to brace against the wall, but tripped over the step from the genkan first. As she waved her hands for balance, Ranma darted forward to catch her.
She was intercepted by the biggest, ugliest face she had ever seen. “HOW DARE YOU ENDANGER MY LITTLE GIRLS LIKE THAT!”
“It ain’t my fault!” squeaked Ranma as she pressed against the wall. “Akane threw herself at ‘em before I even figured out what was goin’ on!”
“THAT’S NO EXCUSE! YOU SHOULDN’T BE DRAGGING HER INTO YOUR MESSES!”
“We were following Nabiki!”
“MY LITTLE GIRL DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR FAMILY BUSINESS!”
“Wha?”
“Um, Daddy?” interrupted Akane. “Nabiki is turning blue.”
“WHAT? WHAAH!” The Demon Head started weeping profusely, and shrank back to Soun’s normal face as he fussed over the daughter in his embrace. “My little girl’s been poisoned!”
With a final faint sigh, Nabiki slumped bonelessly in her father’s embrace. He, perceiving her limpness, wailed, “WAHH! My little girl’s dying!”
“Oh, my.” Suddenly hovering at her father’s shoulder, Kasumi quickly assessed the situation. “Bring her through to the living room and lay her on the couch,” she suggested, taking hold of her father’s elbow and tugging him in that direction. Ranma noticed the effects of a subtle nerve pinch relaxing the man’s grasp.
Akane didn’t. She jumped up, taking Kasumi’s interference as assurance that action was needed, and tried to pry her father’s arm off her sister. He turned towards this demand for attention from his youngest child, and reacted as any compassionate father: with whip-like speed, the arm less encumbered by his middle daughter’s limp form curled around Akane and drew her into a tight embrace. He caught her off-balance, and she stumbled, pushing him into the wall and burying her face in his gi.
“Gurk!”
“Akane! Are you all right?” Then, without waiting for her to answer – or relaxing his embrace so she could answer – Soun made the obvious deduction. “WAHH! Both my little girls have been poisoned by cannibal ninja!” The monstrous demon head once again sprang into being, surging over his daughters’ heads. “RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Ranma pressed herself against the far wall of the genkan, and considered making a break for the door. Kasumi gave her father’s shoulder a tweak and caught Nabiki as his arm relaxed, commenting placidly, “Don’t be silly, Daddy. I’m sure none of them have ever met a cannibal.”
“HE SHOULDN’T BE FIGHTING NINJA HORDES WITH MY LITTLE GIRLS!”
“They were jewel thieves!” protested Ranma. “An’ there was only three of them!”
“HOW DARE YOU RISK MY LITTLE GIRLS’ INHERITANCE FOR YOUR PETTY FAMILY FEUD!” Sizzling tears began to flow from the apparition’s eyes. “THEY TREASURE THEIR MOTHER’S JEWELLERY!”
Nabiki jerked up in her sister’s arms. “Mother’s jewelery? What happened to mother’s jewellery?”
“RANMA LET NINJA JEWELERY THIEVES STEAL ALL OF IT!” asserted the demon head.
“What? When? She?” The teenager paused. Carefully, she confirmed, “Ninja?”
“I’m sure I would have noticed someone interfering with the strongbox,” remarked Kasumi inconsequentially. “You have to make such a mess to get at it.”
“WAHHh!” exclaimed the demon head before popping abruptly back to an overemotional man. “The strongbox has been broken into! Wahhh!” Suddenly, his eyes widened. “WAHHH! The deeds to the house! The college funds! The Tendo Scrolls!” He turned to the shortest of the girls before him and declared distraughtly, “RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
“Oh, dear,” sighed Kasumi, as his other daughters stared at him. “Daddy is getting rather overwrought, I think…”
“OVERWROUGHT! OVERWROUGHT!” shouted Soun, turning to his eldest child. “The family treasures are stolen and desecrated and you think I’m overwrououo…”
Gently, he folded, Kasumi slipping her hand from his neck to his side to control his descent to the floor. “Oh, my, the excitement was too much for him,” she murmured. “Akane, Ranma, will you help me put him in bed, please?”
“Sure,” said Akane, stepping forward and kneeling to get a grip on her father.
“Uh, uh,” started Ranma, still pressed against the wall. She swallowed. “Y-yeah?”
In the end, the four girls cooperated to get Mr Tendo from the entryway to the living room couch, Nabiki collecting the schoolbags and bringing them in behind the other three. She also shut the front door.
Discovering a rotund man in the uniform of an Animal Control officer seated on the couch was a small surprise to them, but he stood when Kasumi asked him to. Ranma helped the others position their father securely before turning her attention fully on her own parent.
“Nice clothes, Pops.”
“They’re rather tight in the crotch, actually.”
“I so didn’t want to know that.” Her regard intensified to a glare, and (possibly reminded, on some level, of similar glares in his past) Genma tried to bluster.
“Needs must when the Devil drives, Boy…”
“Girl!”
“…and it is always wise to appropriate what you can from your enemies – you enrich yourself and deprive them at the same time,” he lectured.
Ranma sighed, realising that her father had, once again, employed the common precept of the Saotome School – action without thought. “I suppose we’re lucky we don’t have a dog van parked outside the dojo,” she remarked.
“Of course not. For one thing, no martial artist would demean himself by employing so unhealthy a means of transport when he could walk. For another, it is far too easy for such vehicles to be traced, and it was no part of my plans to be followed,” explained Genma. “Finally, I can’t drive.”
“Which is the real reason,” finished Ranma. She rubbed her forehead. “I don’t suppose you know why Tendo-san got so worked up, do you? We only ran into a robbery in progress and stopped it.”
“Did you get anything?” Seeing the looks directed his way by all four girls, he rethought that question and tried to cover himself, “A reward, Boy! Did you get a reward?”
“No. Now, answer the question – why did Tendo-san overreact like that?”
“Ah, hmm. I, that is I think,” started Genma.
“Oh, that would be the story Uncle Genma told after he came in,” interrupted Kasumi, returning with a wet cloth. “Something about some attacks on your mother’s family, Ranma.”
“Ahm. Yes, possibly,” admitted Genma.
“I… see,” said Ranma. “I suppose I have only one question, then, Pops.” She waited until her father nodded to indicate she had his full attention. “‘Cannibal ninja’?”
“Ah, well, you see…”
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(Posted Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:06)
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