Kasumi and Nodoka were finishing up decorating the dojo. They had spent the day wiping the walls and mopping the hardwood floor after getting the fathers to roll up the mats. A ‘Happy Birthday’ banner hung along the rear wall. The cake Nodoka was baking was in already in the oven. While Nodoka was making the cake, a table had been set to the side with paper plates and napkins. The cake would sit on the table as well as Ranma’s presents. Another table, near the first, would hold punch and snacks.
Nodoka wiped her hands on a towel. “There, all set. Hopefully Ranma doesn’t come home to early and make a mess in here.”
“He and his friends do get rather lively. Don’t worry, I am sure he’ll be out having fun with his friends all day. And I made sure he wouldn’t be back too early. We have enough time to get dinner ready, so shall we?”
The two home makers headed inside to the kitchen. They had only just started when they heard the front door open and close and Akane announce her presence.
Akane stomped home in a bad mood. ‘Where did that womanizer disappear off to? I bet he’s with one of his floozies.’ The fact that Akane just left the company of the other fiancées was, indeed, lost on her. The others were still making a mess across town trying to find Ranma, but Akane grew tired, both physically and emotionally, of the fighting and with worry that she hadn’t seen Ranma all day. It was in this mood that she walked into the kitchen to greet her sister. “Hey Kasumi, I’m going to go workout in the dojo,” Akane mentioned, as she was in serious need of the stress relief that breaking things brought to her.
“Oh my, you know we were decorating it for Ranma-kun’s birthday party. You’ll just have to practice tomorrow, little sister.”
First Akane growled to herself, thinking, ‘Great, what else will that idiot ruin for me today.’ This thought was quickly followed by a frantic ‘Oh great! I completely forgotten it was Ranma’s birthday. I was going to get him something, now what do I do?’ Akane smiled as she got a brilliant idea, to herself at least. “Say, Kasumi, Aunt Nodoka, why don’t I help you prepare Ranma’s dinner?”
Fortunately, Akane didn’t notice the brief look of panic in the faces of the older women. Wild eyed, Kasumi glanced to Nodoka, who had paled subtly. A stroke of inspiration struck Kasumi. Hoping that it would work, she put on her best disappointed face and looked solemnly at Akane. “Don’t tell me you haven’t bought him a present yet?” She admonished her little sister.
Akane gulped. “Well, er, that is ... I know what to get him, but I gave Nabiki my last yen.” Akane didn’t feel too bad telling a little white lie, as long as it got Kasumi to stop looking at her like that.
“Why didn’t you say so earlier,” Nodoka spoke up, almost too happily. Reaching into her purse, she removed a large wad of Yen. “Her, go get something special for your fiancé. Take your time, too.”
“OK, thanks,” Akane said as she forced a smile onto her face. “You sure you don’t need any help? Ranma does eat like a cow.”
“I think you mean a horse,” Nodoka corrected her, with a slight frown to her lips.
“We got everything under control. Just go get something while you can.” Kasumi made shooing motions to encourage Akane to leave.
Akane nodded and left. ‘Great, now what,’ she thought to herself as she put her shoes back on. ‘Maybe I should go visit Sayuri and Yuka. They’ll help me find something. Auntie Nodoka gave me a good bit of money, surely I don’t have to spend all of it on that fool.’
Nabiki and Ranma, now a girl, were walking along giggling and eating some grilled octopus they got from a street vendor.
“I can’t believe you, sometimes, Ranma. How’d you charm a blind guy into giving us a little extra skewers and the fruit from his lunch I’ll never know.”
Ranma snickered. “I guess even in a magical mall the Saotome charm works flawlessly.”
Nabiki rolled her eyes. “Modest much? Hey, speaking of the mall, looks like we’re out of it. When did that happen?”
Ranma shrugged. “Was fun while it lasted though.”
“Yeah,” Nabiki replied with a smile. “Well, now that we are back, I have some things to go do. Think you can keep out of trouble with out me?”
“Har, har,” Ranma said with a sigh. “I’ll be fine.”
Nabiki checked her watch, “Well, I better head off. Hey, don’t go home right away. Your fiancées are bound to be a little upset with you, giving them the slip like that. That would be the first place they’d look.”
Ranma shrugged. “Makes sense, but what would I do?”
Nabiki tapped her chin in thought. “No idea. But avoid the Cat Café and Ucchan’s for similar reasons. If you feel like a snack, go find a street cart.”
“I am already ‘dressed’ for hitting up some unsuspecting street cart vendors,” she responded, smirking devilishly.
Nabiki playfully slapped her shoulders. “See you at home, don’t be late for dinner.” With that she walked away, down a side street.
Ranma, enjoying the quiet day and not eager to end it by going home too soon, decided to walk to a park far enough from the Tendo dojo that she might be able to avoid people who knew her or were looking for her.
“I’m home,” Ranma-chan announced herself some time later. Closing the door, Ranma stepped into the house, her clothes a bit worse for wear then when she had left this morning.
Akane glared at her, looking stormy and ready to blow up. “And where have you been all day? Huh, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Ranma looked at Akane dumbfounded, confused to what she could possibly be mad at. After all, she didn’t see Akane all day, so what could she have done to piss her off. “I was out, shopping. I don’t see how it’s any of your business what I was doing.”
Akane got angrier. “Fine, if you want to spend all day with one of your floozies-”
“You better not be calling me a floozy, little sister,” the cold voice of Nabiki Tendo interrupted Akane’s rant.
“When did you get home?” Akane asked, surprised by her sister’s sudden appearance from the kitchen.
“Just now. I went around to the dojo first to put Ranma’s gift in there. Hey Ranma, you’re looking a little disheveled from the last time I saw you.”
“Ran into Ryouga at a park. He says he’s coming for the party, so I guess we’ll see him in a couple of days.”
“Stop picking on Ryouga,” Akane yelled at Ranma.
Ranma just rolled her eyes. “Say, when dinner’s going to be ready?”
However, before anyone could say anything, the fathers turned up. “Ranma, how dare you make your fiancée angry like that! Do the right thing, ungrateful boy, and marry Akane. And why are you a weak little girl?” Genma immediately berated Ranma upon entering the room.
“Lay off, old man. I didn’t do nuthin’,” Ranma said as she punted Genma into the koi pond.
“Welcome home, Ranma.” Kasumi smiled. “You’re in time for dinner, why don’t you wash up as I set the table.”
Ranma brightened at the news of dinner. “Thanks! I’ll be right back,” Ranma called out as she rushed off to wash up.
Kasumi gasped when she saw Nabiki’s ear. “Nabiki! What did you do to your ear?”
“Do you like it? I got a piercing.” Nabiki replied nervously.
Nabiki was saved from a unexpected quarter. “It is very nice, Nabiki. Quite fashionable, not unlike what I have seen in Harajuku on Sundays. Ah, to be young again,” Nodoka Saotome waxed nostalgically.
“Auntie?” Kasumi wondered out loud, perplexed. “You go to Harajuku?”
“Not often, but I do like to go window shopping along Omotesandō.” Nodoka smiled kindly at Kasumi.
Kasumi seemed to give in before smiling at Nabiki. “It is lovely, little sister.”
While Ranma was in the bathroom cleaning up and getting some warm water to change with, Kasumi and Nodoka got the table ready. “I hope you’re not planning on eating dinner like that, husband.” Nodoka glared at Genma, who was currently a panda and dripping wet. “Is it too much to ask that we have a nice family dinner on our son’s birthday? Go get cleaned up, and stop dripping on the floor.”
Soon, everyone was sitting around the table and dinner began, but not without interruptions.
“Airen!” Shampoo cried as she gave Ranma a powerful bear hug from behind.
Ukyo, having suddenly appeared alongside Shampoo, made her presence known as well. “Get your hands off my fiancé, you Chinese hussy.”
Akane growled as she snapped her chopsticks. Meanwhile, Ranma’s left eye was twitching.
“Ho ho ho ho,” insane laughter heralded the arrival of Kodachi. “You plebeian whores will not stop Ranma-sama from proposing to me. Tonight, you all shall know your betters.”
Kodachi was answered with a chorus of “Airen no marry crazy-girl, airen have amazon wife.” and “Who are you calling a whore, you trumped up tramp?”
Showing little concern that there were others present, Kodachi threw herself onto Ranma’s lap. “Tell these little girls that you are giving that ring to me. Though you did not have me present to aid you in choosing the right ring, I am sure that one such as you would have chosen only the most finest of diamonds.”
Akane slammed her hands down on the table top as she pushed herself up to stand. “As if you didn’t spend all day with your floozies to begin with, you have to bring them home to dinner too!”
“What kitchen destroyer talking about? Airen no spend day with Shampoo.”
Ukyo also was confused. “Akane, you were with us all day trying to find Ran-chan. You know he wasn’t with us.”
“That just means he was with someone else he is keeping on the side,” Akane continued her rant. Ranma, Nabiki, Ukyo, and Shampoo rolled their eyes.
Kasumi made a rare effort to defuse such a situation, desiring a more peaceful dinner that night. “You girls are early for the party. Do you think you could return after dinner?” Kasumi smile didn’t even look strained.
“Party?” The girls had to stop and think for a moment. Ukyo quickly made a save. “Oh yes, Ran-chan’s birthday party. You’re right, I should go get dressed for it. Be back later with your gift.” Ukyo turned to leave. “Coming girls?”
Shampoo looked back and forth between Ranma and Ukyo, seeming to want to stay. “Bai bai, airen. Shampoo return with too, too good present.”
Kodachi didn’t appear to be willing to leave anytime soon, so Ukyo and Shampoo each took an arm to drag her out. “I suppose my invitation was lost in the mail. I shall return with a suitable present for my noble Ranma-sama.”
Nodoka frowned slightly at the retreating backs of the girls. “Such ... enthusiastic friends you have, son.”
Ranma’s left eye twitched again as he wondered if the girls had forgotten it was his birthday.
“Honestly, Ranma, I can’t believe you, and at the dinner table no less. After all that hard work your mother and Kasumi did to feed you.” Akane vented her displeasure.
Ranma shot Akane a ‘you got to be kidding me’ look. “What do you mean what I did? I didn’t do nuthin’.”
Akane was going to respond with her mallet, but Kasumi stopped her. “Akane, it is Ranma’s birthday. You shouldn’t hit him. It would be nice if we could eat dinner like a family.” Akane wilted under Kasumi’s look of disapproval.
Grumbling, Akane sat back down on her pillow. “Fine, but it’s all that idiot’s fault, anyways.”
Ranma just rolled his eyes and returned to eating. Dinner proceeded, for the most part, quietly, though Akane kept shooting glares to an oblivious or unconcerned Ranma. Soun and Genma kept nudging and winking at each other, Nabiki and Kasumi conversed with Nodoka, and all in all, dinner concluded without any further events.
Ranma was blindfolded as his mother propelled him by his shoulders towards the dojo. “Tell me again why I have to have my eyes closed?”
“We’re almost there,” was her only response. However, Ranma could have figured that out on his own. Even blindfolded, he could have found his way to the dojo without any help.
“OK, now you can take a look,” Nodoka told him once they got to the dojo, as she whipped off the blindfold.
“Surprise!” Shouted the Tendos, his father, Ukyo, Konatsu, Shampoo, and Cologne as they sprung into view, while Ranma was busy blinking at the sudden light.
“Er ... thanks,” Ranma said uncertainly.
Nodoka smiled warmly at him. “Not everyone is here yet, but I thought we could get started.”
Shampoo, Ukyo, and Akane were falling over themselves to be the first to greet Ranma. “Wo ai ne, airen. Was airen too, too surprised?” Shampoo was the first to greet Ranma, her party hat crooked from the scuffle.
“Uh ... I knew there was a party to begin with, Shampoo.”
“Out of the way hussy. Happy Birthday, Ran-chan. Isn’t it traditional to give the guest of honor a birthday kiss?” Ukyo began to lean in for a kiss only to have Akane push her aside and Shampoo jump on her. “Ack! Watch the dress, I only own a few.”
“You pervert, just because its your birthday you think you can get away with having your way with your harem. I’m going to be keeping an eye on you, pervert.” Akane ranted, not even noticing that Ranma was sadly shaking his head.
Nodoka’s eye twitched. “Now, now girls. If you can’t behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
Ukyo and Shampoo broke up their fight. Bowing ashamedly to Nodoka.
“Sorry, Mrs. Saotome,” Ukyo said contritely.
“Shampoo is too, too sorry, mom,” Shampoo said just as contritely. Her calling Nodoka mom earned her evil glares from Akane and Ukyo.
While the three fiancées were holding a glaring match, Kasumi managed to sidle up to Ranma, unnoticed by the girls. “Happy Birthday, Ranma,” Kasumi greeted as she placed a party hat on Ranma’s head. “Why don’t you come and sit down. I dug out some party games, have you ever played Life before?” Kasumi and Nodoka escorted Ranma around the bickering girls, who were too busy arguing to pay attention.
Cologne pogoed up to where Ranma was sitting. “Happy Birthday, son-in-law.”
“Thanks, you old ghoul,” Ranma then notice his mother frowning at him. “Er, I mean elder. Where’s Mousse?”
“Do no worry about him ruining your festivities, son-in-law,” Cologne answered. “He is safely locked up in his cage, and I have turned off the hot water in the shop.”
Ranma nodded, in relief. He then noticed Konatsu standing quietly to his side. “Hey Konatsu. Glad you could make it.” Ranma got up to politely bow to his guest.
“Thank you for having me. I am enjoying myself.”
Nodoka turned to Kasumi, “Who else needs to show up?”
“There is Ryouga-”
Ranma interrupted Kasumi, “Don’t bother waiting long for him, he’ll be late.”
“Are you sure, Ranma?” Kasumi asked.
Ranma replied, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Well, there is still Kodachi, that girl who appeared during dinner earlier. She had said she’d be back.”
Ranma hung his head sadly. “With my luck, she’ll blab to her brother and both Kunos will show up and ruin things.”
Nabiki patted Ranma gently on his shoulder, “There, there Ranma-baby. Don’t underestimate the capacity of the people already here to ruin the party.” Nabiki’s smirk was anything but comforting.
Ranma just groaned louder as he brought his hands up to his face.
“Whining isn’t manly,” Nodoka reprimanded her son.
Sighing, Ranma sat back down, noticing that the girls were still oblivious in their bickering. “What am I suppose to do at a birthday party, anyways?” Ranma didn’t miss the frowns his mother and Kasumi was directing towards Genma.
Nabiki came to his rescue. “Eat snacks, drink, play games, mingle with your friends, dance to music, and anything else that would be fun to do with large groups of people. Maybe you could tell us a story; storytelling is always a good activity at a party.”
Ranma scratched at his head in thought. “What kinds of stories? I don’t think I ever learned all that many.”
“Something that happened to you, maybe when you were little,” prompted Nabiki as she sat next to him.
Kasumi brightened up right away. “What a wonderful idea Nabiki. Auntie could hear of what Ranma was up to while he was away from her.”
Ranma scratched his head some more, sheepishly. “Hmm, well ... You all know the story of the neko-ken. Wonder what-” Ranma was cut off by Nabiki elbowing him sharply in the ribs.
“No reason to tell that story,” Genma shouted out. “He he he,” he chuckled nervously. “Your mom wouldn’t want to hear that boring story.” Genma wilted under Nodoka’s stern gaze.
“Maybe you can tell us of some of the places you been to, Ranma?” Kasumi asked, trying to get Ranma back on track.
“Yes, well ... let me think. Places I’ve been...” Ranma’s musing was cut short by the dojo’s door banging open loudly.
“Never! I will not permit it,” Kuno proclaimed loudly from where he stood in the doorway, boken held high, pointing to the heavens. “The foul sorcerer shall not hold a birthday party, so has Tatewaki Kuno, beloved of the kami themselves, spoken.”
Most of the gathered guests groaned in annoyance. “No one invited you, Kuno,” Akane vehemently spat at the interloper.
“When one is as loved by the heavens as I am, one does not need an invitation. The grace of my presence is blessing enough to rid this place of the foul stench that lingers wherever Saotome exists. Evil, flee from my manly might as the cowardly cur you are.” Kuno did not notice the disgruntled or outraged stares he was receiving. He did notice Akane Tendo, however. “Come to me, my fierce tigress. I shall save you from this mockery of a party and show you entertainment the likes of which you have never experienced before.” His attempt to pull her into an embrace was disrupted by Akane’s fist to his face.
“Shampoo think Pervert-Guy and Pervert-Girl make good, good couple. You go out on date with him now, yes?” Shampoo attempt at thinning the competition did not go over well with most of the party guests. Her only supporter was Kuno, after all.
“Ha! Even the foreign heathen recognizes my true worth. For has not the heavens themselves decried that the light of my divine presence shall bring forth fruit, even to the most barren of minds.” Kuno joyously shouted as he rose from the floor, only to be knocked back down again and kicked out the door by Akane.
“Honestly, every time he shows up, I just want to ... *grrrrr*” Akane vented her displeasure. Turning to round upon Ranma, she angrily accused him, “And where were you? Letting some boy try to grope your fiancée. I bet you got off on that, you pervert.”
Before Ranma could respond, Kodachi fell into his lap from the ceiling. “Happy Birthday, Ranma-sama. Open your present now.” Everyone noticed that all she was wearing was wrapping paper as a very mini skirt and another piece of wrapping paper that was wrapped around her breasts. A ribbon ran up from under the skirt, over the band top, and then over her shoulders. Akane didn’t want to think if the ribbon was the only thing acting like panties. A bow nestled in Kodachi’s cleavage, from which a tag reading “Ranma-sama” hung. Kodachi was empty handed, using her hands to hang all over Ranma.
“Uh ... what present are you talking about,” Ranma nervously asked, sweating. He was afraid he knew what her answer would be.
At the same time, Akane was blowing a fit. Her aura snapped into place as her fists clenched and her face scrunched into a scowl. “Ranma, you pervert! What’s the meaning of this?!”
“What couldn’t be a more perfect present for my Ranma-sama than me?” Kodachi answered Ranma’s question and confirmed his fear. “Come on, unwrap me so we can run away and leave these country bumpkins to their hillbilly ways.”
Ranma just hung his head and groaned, knowing that whatever that was about to happen wouldn’t end well for him. Akane began to advance menacingly at him, cracking her knuckles. Kasumi gently tugged Nodoka back a bit.
“I guess some things we just can’t avoid,” Kasumi whispered sadly to Ranma’s mother.
“He doesn’t even seem to be enjoying himself at the moment,” Nodoka quietly whispered back. Frowning, both women thought sorrowfully of their plans to give Ranma his first real birthday party since he left home as a small child, and making it special.
Seeing Akane advance, Kodachi stood up between her and Ranma. “Stop, harlot. You can’t have him, he’s mine.” Grabbing the ribbon where it crossed her left shoulder, Kodachi yanked it off, incidentally removing her paper skirt with it. Snapping the ribbon like a whip, she prepared to do battle with Akane.
The bottomlessness of Kodachi riled Akane up even more. “You pervert!” She screamed as she dove at the gymnast. Ukyo and Shampoo were just as eager to aid Akane in dealing with Kodachi. After a brief scuffle, Kodachi was soon joining her brother in being kicked out of the dojo.
“They’ll be back soon,” Ukyo commented.
“Shampoo agree. Stick-boy and rose-girl no learn lesson.”
Akane herself just simply turned to accost her fiancé, only to find a smiling Kasumi holding a glass of punch out for her. “Maybe we should open the presents now; why don’t you go first,” Kasumi mentioned to Akane in an attempt to derail her anger.
Akane grabbed the offered punch, muttering about cheating fiancés. Seeing Kasumi smiling at her expectantly, Akane sighed. “Oh, alright. Let’s open the presents.”
Nodoka got everyone’s attention. “We might as well open presents now. So if you all could go get your present and sit in a circle, we can get started.”
There was a bit of chaos as everyone rushed to the table to get their gifts, followed by a bit of a scuffle as some of the guests competed over who got to sit closest to Ranma. Effort on the part of Nodoka, Kasumi, and Cologne kept the conflict from escalating to badly. Once everyone was seated, a new scuffle arose over who was going to give their gift to Ranma first. That conflict was solved by Genma thrusting a box onto Ranma’s lap.
“Here you go, m’boy. Something every man your age needs.” Genma tried to nod sagely; he failed horribly.
Upon opening the box, Ranma found a black suit. Holding it up for all to see, Ranma asked in a puzzled voice, “What’s with the penguin suit, pops?”
“It’s a tuxedo, for when you marry Akane. Now you have no excuse, so how’s next Tuesday sound to you?”
Ranma’s eye twitched as he let the tuxedo fall back into it’s box. Soun took the opportunity to immediately thrust something into Ranma’s hands. It was another box. Opening it, Ranma found a marriage license inside with the fathers’ stamps in all the right places. While Ranma looked at the form in askance, Genma was trying to get Ranma to hold his hanko stamp.
“Just stamp it and the houses will be joined. Oh, happy birthday!” Soun cried loudly, tears issuing forth and running down his cheeks.
Genma added his two cents. “You ought to be honored, boy. What better present can a man give you then his daughter’s hand in marriage?”
Hearing deep growls from three different sources, Ranma looked up to see three very menacing glares directed at him. “Eep!” Ranma exclaimed as he flinched.
Akane’s rant began to build up steam. “Is ‘Eep’ all you have to say for yourself? I bet you think I’d marry a womanizing, perverted idiot like you. Well listen here you moron-”
Akane was momentarily cut off by Shampoo popping up in front of Ranma suddenly. “Airen let wife look at gift, yes?”
However, Soun quickly grabbed the marriage license from Ranma. “No, you can’t have it. Ranma will marry Akane.”
As Shampoo gave chase to Soun, Genma was trying to avoid Ukyo’s baker’s peel, Akane was giving Ranma a beat down, and Kasumi was holding the birthday cake above her head in an attempt to keep it safe. Nodoka surveyed the excitement before holding her head in her hands like she had a headache.
Cologne, calmly watching on like it was a day time soap opera, tried to ease the Saotome matriarch’s disappointment. “This has been a lot quieter than what I was expecting the party to be.” Taking pity on the mother, Cologne decided to help. “Shampoo,” she called as she used her cane to whack Shampoo on the head as she ran by, “sit down. Amazon warriors don’t go chasing people around like some bully on a playground. Where’s your pride?”
Chastised, Shampoo sunk back down into a sitting position with a guilty look on her face. A couple quick whacks from Cologne’s cane got Genma’s and Ukyo’s attention. Realizing she was making a scene, Ukyo sat back down too, looking embarrassed. Genma, happy to not be chased any more, tried to look innocent. Once more, he failed horribly. With a sigh of relief, Kasumi put the untouched birthday cake back on the table.
“Maybe we should have the cake now, while it is still in one piece, and finish with the presents later,” Nodoka suggested. “It would be a shame to let all that hard work go to waste.”
“Fine with me,” Ranma groaned from the floor, where his limbs were twisted like pretzels.
“Oh, let me help you with that, Ranma-kun.” Kasumi hurried over to realign Ranma’s joints, but not before shooting Akane a disappointed look. With efficiency and a smile on her lips, Kasumi quickly unfolded Ranma. She would of made Dr. Tofu proud, assuming she first didn’t make him dazed and confused. “All better now.”
“Thanks, Kasumi.” Ranma tried to fix his crushed party hat before giving it up as a lost cause.
Kasumi giggled. “Don’t mention it. I am used to it by now. I’ve had lots of practice, thanks to you. I think I’m almost as good as Tofu-san.”
Akane glared and grumbled about perverted fiancés flirting with her sister.
Once everyone was sitting again, Nodoka lit some sparklers to stick on the cake. She then led everyone into singing a birthday song, but the Amazons sung in Chinese a traditional song for amazon birthday parties. Ranma smiled proudly, pleased at the attention and at receiving a birthday party. Nodoka and Kasumi quickly distributed slices of cake to everyone, but before Ranma could enjoy his piece, the Kunos returned.
“I forbid it,” Kuno screamed as the door slammed open. He never got to finish what he was saying as a cart slammed into him from behind. On the cart was a large birthday cake.
“Surprise!” Kodachi exclaimed as she burst out naked from inside the cake, pieces of food flying everywhere. Her entrance was short lived as a bonbori struck the cart. Kodachi fell back onto her butt and into the cake, creating a larger mess, as the cart rapidly rolled out the door again.
Kuno groaned as he got back up. “Ha, you think such a cowardly attack would keep me down?” His only answer was Ranma’s fist to his face, ejecting him through the open doorway. Ranma closed the dojo doors, shaking his head in frustration.
“Have some cake, Ranma dear.”
“Thanks mom.” Ranma accepted a plate from his mother with a smile. “It’s really good,” he told her around a mouthful of food.
“Thank you, but don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Soon everyone was done with their cake, and Ranma with his third helping. Once the paper plates were cleared away, Shampoo held a box out to Ranma.
“Airen open Shampoo’s next, no? It too, too good.” Noticing the other girls were glaring but not making any move to hit him, Ranma acquiesced. Ranma went to hold the box by his ear to shake, but Shampoo yanked the gift from his hand. “Airen no shake box. Spill too, too good gift.”
Ranma rolled his eyes. “OK, alright.” He took back the gift and opened the box. “It looks like ramen.”
“Yes, Shampoo make too, too special ramen for Ranma. No ordinary ramen, it Shampoo special.” The bubbly girl effused joyfully.
Ranma’s eye twitched, wondering what kind of drugs or love potion she had laced the food with. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Cologne whacking her own head with her staff in aggravation. “Er... uh, thank you Shampoo. That was very nice of you.”
“Ranma eat now, yes?”
“Er, no. I’m full on cake. But thank you, I’ll eat it later, OK?” Shampoo pouted but didn’t complain as Ukyo tugged her away. Ranma saw Cologne shaking her head in disbelief.
“I did not know what you might like,” began Konatsu as he approached Ranma, “but I noticed something you needed. The one you have now is rather frayed and beat up.” Konatsu nervously held a box out to Ranma. Ranma smiled as he accepted it. Quickly unwrapping the carefully wrapped present, ripped paper flying all about him, Ranma opened it to find a new bookbag.
‘Well, not very exciting but a lot more thoughtful then all the gifts I have gotten so far’ Ranma thought to himself for only a quick moment, as his face blossomed into a genuine grin. “Thanks, Konatsu! I really needed one.”
Konatsu smiled back, relieved. Cologne took that moment to pogo over to Ranma.
“Here you go, son-in-law. Something I am sure you’ll enjoy.” She handed over a small, long box wrapped in brightly colored paper.
Ripping the paper off, Ranma revealed a plain wooden box. Undoing the catch, Ranma lifted the lid. Inside the box was an old scroll. Reverently grasping the scroll and removing it from the box, Ranma slowly unrolled it partially. “Wow, thanks old ghoul-” The whack of a staff disrupted his thanks. “Uh, I mean, thank you elder. This is great! A new technique. I can’t wait to learn it.” Ranma smiled gaily at the amazon matriarch. Off to the side, Shampoo muttered about thunder stealing great grandmothers.
Nodoka got ready to give Ranma her gift. Smiling, she handed over two wrapped boxes tied together with ribbon. “You’re not easy to shop for, just so you know.”
Ranma unwrapped the smaller of the two packages, and held for all to see that it was a martial arts movie. “Thanks, mom.” He smiled up at his mother. Setting it carefully off to the side, Ranma turned his attention towards the larger box. A quick unwrapping later, he beheld a plain looking cardboard box. Inside, he found clothing. Holding up the first item revealed that it was a blue and gray sleeveless shirt. It had a cadet collar, and, like a gi, its right side overlapped its left and was buttoned up the side. Beneath the shirt, he found dark blue pants.
Ranma smiled at his mother, again. “Thanks, they look really good.”
Nodoka looked pleased at the comment. “I’ll admit I had difficulty finding something that could look good on you either way. This should look good on you as a guy or a girl. And the pants have an elastic waistband to help.”
Ranma nodded his appreciation. “Thanks. The stuff I have now have been getting worn out.”
Akane, noticing how nice the last few gifts were, balked a little. This gave Ukyo a chance to give Ranma his present first.
“Here you go sugar. I know how much you like to eat okonomiyaki.” Ukyo handed him a shallow square box, a bit bigger than an okonomiyaki.
Ranma accepted it with a smile that was slightly forced. ‘She didn’t just give me an okonomiyaki for my birthday? Did she?’ Opening the box, Ranma saw a long thin box and a card resting on top of a book. Grabbing the card first, he read it out loud. “This card entitles Ranma Saotome to a free dinner at Ucchan’s. Er ... Thanks Ukyo.” Ranma’s smile remained slightly forced. “But, don’t I already eat for free?”
Ukyo smiled back, oblivious to Ranma’s disappointment. “Well, yes, but now it is official. You can eat for free at Ucchan’s. There’s more, look in that box.” Ukyo was oblivious to the murderous stares that Akane and Shampoo were directing towards her.
Ranma grabbed the black box and pulled the lid off. Inside was a pair of fancy wooden chopsticks inlaid with bone and mother of pearl. Stunned, he held the box to show the others. A couple of the guests made appreciative noises. ‘It is a very nice set of chopsticks. But it isn’t like I needed them, not really. However, she did put some thought into what to get me.’ Ranma smiled at Ukyo as he closed the chopsticks back up and laid its box by his feet. His last present was a cookbook. ‘An okonomiyaki cookbook. I don’t know why she thinks I would want or use one. Besides, with the free pass she gave me, it is not like I would ever have to cook any for myself. Ah well, I’ll never understand girls.’
“Thanks, Ucchan,” Ranma told her as he put her gifts back into the package.
Ukyo beamed like the cat that got into the cream. “No problem. I know how much you like to eat, and your own chopsticks to carry on you would be good for that. And when you go on a training journey, not only do you have another pair of chopsticks, but now you can make your own okonomiyaki as well.”
“That’s awfully thoughtful of you,” Ranma commented politely.
Ukyo sat back down, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as she mentally congratulated herself. The fiancées had silently turned getting Ranma the best present into a kind of cold war.
While Akane and Shampoo unabashedly glared at Ukyo, Kasumi gave Ranma her present to him. Handing over three small boxes, Kasumi smiled at Ranma and gave him a hug. “Happy birthday,” she warmly wished him. Ranma and Kasumi didn’t seem to notice the three low growls coming from the other guests.
Her first gift were revealed to be a pair of red house slippers. The second box Ranma opened contained a few manga: Gundam, Dragon Ball, and Lupin III. The last box held a gray thermos. “To carry hot water with you,” Kasumi explained.
Ranma flashed her a genuine smile. “Thank you, these are great,” he thanked her. Ranma thought the thermos was thoughtful, he knew he would enjoy the manga, and he even liked having new house slippers of his own.
“I’m glad you like them. I know they aren’t much,” Kasumi replied before shyly trailing off.
“No, no,” Ranma said as he nervously waved his hands, “I don’t need a lot and I think these are really great. I am happy with your presents, honest.” Kasumi beamed at his praise while three more low growls went unnoticed.
With great effort and willpower, Akane stopped herself from screaming, “Stop flirting with my sister, you cheating bastard.” She was beginning to get frustrated, upset that her own sister was showing her up. Realizing that nearly everyone had already went, except for her and Nabiki, Akane knew she couldn’t wait any longer to give Ranma the gift she got for him. Sourly getting up, Akane noticed the disapproving looks that Kasumi and Nodoka were sending her. Blowing out her breath, she let her anger bleed away. A softer, warmer expression grew on her face. Nervously, she approached Ranma with a wrapped gift in her hands.
“Happy Birthday, Ranma.”
“Thanks, Akane.”
Ranma was interrupted in opening his gift by the dojo door slamming open once again; the Kunos had returned. Kodachi stood in the doorway, laughing maniacally, before she crumpled to the ground. Tatewaki limped into view only to fall himself before he had much of a chance to open his big mouth. The mystery of what occurred was solved when Konatsu swung down and in from over the lintel.
Nudging the bodies with his foot, Konatsu closed the door. “Sleep shiatsu point,” he explained to the questioning looks he was receiving.
Everybody made noises of understanding, “Ahh!”
“Thanks, Konatsu.” Ranma smiled at his friend. “That was very nice of you to do.”
Konatsu blushed at the praise.
“Well, idiot. Going to open up my present or are you going to flirt with Konatsu?” Akane was more then a little grumpy that Ranma was distracted from opening her gift.
Ranma sighed. “What do you mean flirting? If you think being polite is a crime, than that explains why you’re rude to me all the time,” Ranma retorted heatedly.
“What do you mean I’m the one that is rude?” Akane huffed, building up a head of steam.
However, Nodoka interposed herself before the argument could gain any momentum. “That’s enough, children. Ranma, why don’t you see what Akane so thoughtfully bought you for your birthday.”
Ranma grumbled for a moment but deflated in the end. “OK, momma,” he assured his mother, chastised and feeling small. Quickly ripping off the wrapping paper, Ranma opened Akane’s present to find tissue paper. Pulling out the paper, Ranma lifted a pink, silky something only to discover it was a bra. His eyes popped open when he realized what it was; everyone else grew quiet. ‘Did she go shopping for me at Happosai’s Dirty Little Secrets?’ Ranma snorted derisively at his own joke.
Unaware of everyone’s reaction, Akane rationalized her gift. “It is something you need and you don’t own a single one. Really, it is shameful how you go around without a bra on. No wonder perverts, like Kuno, are always hounding you.”
“Yeah, because he was obviously so sane before I ever arrived in Nerima,” Ranma muttered under his breath, but not soft enough. Nabiki and a few others had to choke down their laughter.
“What was that? How can you be so ungrateful? And after all the times you borrow my clothes, you could have the decency to own something I could use.” Akane began to rant.
“Excuse me, borrow her clothes?” Nodoka’s expression grew a little darker.
Ranma ignored both ladies in his life. Looking closer, he thought the bra seemed small for him even though he did not know what his size would be. “Akane, how did you know what size to buy?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Ranma. It’s not like I haven’t seen you parading around without any feminine modesty before.”
‘I wonder if she just bought whatever her size is’ Ranma thought to himself. “Looks like it might fit you, would you like to try it on?”
Akane’s face lit up in happy radiance. “Why, thank you, Ran-”
Ranma cut her off. “I was talking to my mom. Here mom, I hope it makes you feel like a young girl again.” Ranma handed over the pink, frilly, distasteful object to his mother, who blushed in response.
Akane looked stricken, then her expression grew murderous. However, Kasumi reached up and put a hand on Akane’s shoulder, stopping her from whatever outburst was forthcoming.
“What else did you get for me,” Ranma said in forced joy as he returned his attention back to the box. Fortunately, Akane put somewhat more thoughtfulness into her other gifts. There was a small book on Zen and the martial artist and another, thicker, book on etiquette. On the bottom was a tape cassette labeled, ‘English for Travelers’. The fine print claimed it was made in Hong Kong.
“I thought you could use an extra study aid for class,” Akane told him.
‘Still doing better than you are in English,’ Ranma thought to himself pridefully. Overall, Akane’s gift were not too bad. The martial arts book was somewhat decent, but Ranma has seen better books on the topic. ‘I don’t think the tomboy knows what to look for when it comes to Zen.’ He also had to bite off a somewhat rude retort about letting Akane borrow the book of manners. But, as much as he didn’t want to read that kind of book, he thought his mother would approve if he did read it. So, while not excellent, Akane’s gifts were still better then the Father’s and Shampoo’s.
Pasting a smile on his face, Ranma politely thanked Akane. “Thanks, it was very kind of you.” ‘Plus, I should give her some benefit of the doubt. It is not like she would have had much money to shop with, and I don’t need anyone spending too much on me.’
Akane’s nervousness faded away and she smiled in return. Ukyo didn’t seem to be all that put out, only putting up a token grumbling. Shampoo, however, muttered under her breath how her airen didn’t seem to properly appreciate a good, amazon gift, how the Japanese gave strange gifts, and why can’t she just kill obstacles and drag her errant husband home.
“I guess you saved the best for last, huh Ranma-baby?” Nabiki winked at Ranma. Some people in attendance figured Nabiki was going to give him a bill for the party.
Ranma, who’s mouth ran faster than his survival instinct, quipped, “You’re going to wake up Kodachi now?” With the three roaring mad fiancées stalking him, Ranma nervously waved his hands as he tried to explain. “I was just joking, really I was!”
Nabiki stifled her amusement at Ranma’s mistake. Kasumi, Cologne, and Nodoka got the girls to sit down and let Ranma make his terrible jokes on his birthday. Though he did notice that they wryly shook their heads in disbelief.
With mirth dancing in her eyes, Nabiki handed Ranma a small wrapped package. Ranma smiled his thanks before holding it up to his ears and giving the package a shake. It made no sound. Unwrapping it, revealed a book. Ranma wasn’t sure what to make of it until he read the synopsis on the back. It was a period, samurai drama. He smiled at Nabiki. “Thanks, it looks like I’ll have fun reading it. Though I did get a lot of books today, are you all trying to tell me something?” Amusement was dancing in his eyes as he said this.
Nabiki and most of the guests knew he was just joking. Akane humphed in displeasure, Shampoo was confused, Soun wailed that Ranma was an ungrateful brat, and Genma claimed that books were for wimps and nerds.
Nabiki was ready with her own quip in reply. “I think most people think you are much cuter when you are reading a book.” Seeing Ranma predictably swell up in pride and ego, she added, “Mostly because you’re quiet and that’s the only time you keep your mouth shut.” Ranma mock scowled at her and stuck his tongue out.
“Now, now, Ranma, enough of that,” Nodoka admonished her son.
“Thanks, Nabiki,” Ranma once again smiled happily at the middle Tendo sister, “it does look like the kind of book I’d want to read.”
“That’s not the only present.” Nabiki pulled a box out that was hidden behind her. It had four holes at the corners of the lid. “Now, don’t shake this one.”
The box was laid in front of Ranma. “Wuff,” it cutely sneezed softly. Ranma raised an eyebrow, curious at what could be inside. Lifting the lid caused a little black bundle of energy to hop out. A tiny, black Labrador Retriever puppy looked at Ranma and sneezed once more before playing with the box lid that was laying on the ground where Ranma dropped it. Ranma broke into a huge smile as he gently lifted the puppy up and let it lick his face.
“Thanks, Nabs, I love it.”
Some of the other guests oohed and awed, though the fiancées looked jealous and disgruntled that they didn’t think of getting Ranma a pet dog.
Nabiki smirked at Ranma. “In case you thought you got enough books, the dog comes with another one.” Nabiki handed Ranma a wrapped book. “It’s all about how to raise and train a dog, so it doesn’t become a mess making terror.”
“What are you going to name it, Ranma-kun?” Kasumi asked while gushing over the cute, little puppy.
“Hmm,” Ranma though, “Ranma, Genma — uma ... inu ... inu, uma — Inuma ... Yeah, Inuma!” Ranma smiled proudly at what he though was a good name for his puppy.
Akane snorted. “Figures,” she muttered. “What a stupid name.” However, no one seemed to have heard her as they all paid attention to the new addition to the Tendo household. Akane noticed how all the girls, including her sisters, Ranma’s mom, and Cologne, were fussing over the little puppy. Even Konatsu was getting in on the act. She groused, “Stupid dog.”
Genma nudged Soun before whispering in his ear, “Remember when we used to use dogs to pick up girls in our youth?” However, the whisper wasn’t quiet enough as Akane heard it.
Soun’s answer was lost to the cacophony of Akane finally losing her top.
“RANMA, YOU PERVERT!” Akane’s face was turning all shades of red as her eyes lit up like lightening in a storm and her fists clenched threateningly. “How dare you use an innocent animal to flirt with other girls. Don’t you have more than enough already?”
Puzzled by Akane’s reaction, Ranma didn’t answer right away. His face morphed from shock to indignation, but before he could put his foot in his mouth yelling back to his fiancée, she dumped the partially full punch bowl on his head. Ranma’s aborted comeback died on his lips as he turned female, with punch dripping off of her nose.
Akane stormed out of the dojo as Ranma sat in a red, sugary puddle with an expression of disbelief on his face. The newly christened Inuma was happily lapping up from the puddle of punch on the floor.
Ranma, fresh from a bath, was carrying Inuma, and some newspapers, up towards his room. When he passed Nabiki’s room, her door slid silently open.
“Hey Ranma,” she quietly called to him.
Ranma turned and smiled at her. “Hey. Good night, Nabiki.”
“Good night Ranma, sweet dreams.” Ranma grimaced at the word sweet. Nabiki giggled. “OK, manly dreams.” Ranma smirked in amusement.
“Thanks, for everything today.” Ranma started playing with Inuma, petting it behind the ears.
“No problem. And, remember, that dog will one day grow up to be a lot bigger. Don’t let it think it is OK to do something now, while he is small, that you wouldn’t want a much bigger dog doing. Bad habits start early, they say. So don’t let it sleep in your futon, or you might have trouble kicking it out when it is big and taking up all the space.” Nabiki smirked at the idea of a dog stealing Ranma’s bed.
“OK, Nabiki,” Ranma answered without looking up from his puppy. “Kasumi said I should make him a bed from some of my dirty laundry so he can get used to my smell.”
“That’s a good idea too. Night Ranma, macho dreams.”
“Night Nabiki, sweet dreams to you too.”
Nabiki closed her door as Ranma continued on his way to his room.
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Errol Peregrinus
(Posted Sun, 24 Feb 2008 09:32)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.