Skuld removed her hammer smiling at the 'bug splat' that ran down Akane's nose.
Akane was less than thrilled. "HOW DARE YOU!!!" she shrieked as she drew her hammer (which was bigger than Skuld's and had 'Can't Touch This!' on the side).
Ranma, seeing Akane about to attack a little kid, tried to intervene. Hoisting Skuld up so she was sitting on his palms, he sat up. "Calm down, Akane! She barely hit..."
"STOP FONDLING HER ASS, YOU PERVERT!!!"
'Can't Touch This!', meet Ranma. Say 'Good Night', Ranma.
As Ranma fell back into the coffin, Skuld landed (on Ranma's chest) and hit Akane again. Obviously, the girl's got more than one bug.
Akane, unphased by the blow (the bugs were protecting her) struck back, hammering Skuld into Ranma's ribcage. Skuld was a goddess, however and didn't notice.
Thus began one of the wierdest battles of all time, as Akane and Skuld began hammering each other like tent pegs.
Urd, having been shocked out of her complacency by this rediculous sight, decided to put her spectacles on to see just how many bugs Akane could have, only to gasp and turn white as a sheet a second later.
"Urd," Belldandy began. "What's wrong? How bad is it?"
"class ten..." whispered Urd.
Beldandy blanched. "Oh My! That CANT'T be!! That would mean..."
"What?" Nabiki squealed as she trotted up to the Kasumi-like goddess. "What does it mean?"
Peroth answered for Belldandy. "Have you ever seen one of those 'unbelieveable' shows where someone is covered from head to toe in bees?"
Nabiki looked over at her crazed sister. "But I don't..."
Urd stepped in. "They're invisible to mortal eyes, but with these glasses..." and with that, Urd placed her spectacles on Nabiki's snout. Nabiki looked at Akane again and almost immediateley began throwing up coins. "Skuld can't handle that by herself." Urd continued. "Bell. Peroth. Present arms for operation R.A.I.D."
"Operation R.A.I.D.?" Nabiki asked as Belldandy and Peroth pulled out hammers and moved into position.
"Short for Rapid Anti-Infestation Deployment." Urd answered, pulling out a large mallet herself before yelling to her fellow goddesses, "Alright, MOVE IN!"
Urd lauched herself at Akane, trying to use her hammer to clip Akane's legs out from under her. But Akane leapt over Urd's hammer and pegged Urd in the forehead with the handle of her hammer. Surprised, Urd staggered into Peroth's line of attack, causing her to stop her attack in order to avoid hitting Urd. Akane then ducked under Beldandy's swing, which did hit Urd, before hammering Belldandy into Skuld and spinning around to face Peroth.
Peroth had a look of shock on her face. She didn't think anyone could have done what Akane just did. She didn't know that the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts was designed to handle multiple opponents (Soun couldn't run as fast as Genma and Happosai when escaping enraged villagers and thus learned to set up a 'zone' that could be defended from multiple assaults). She just knew that, suddenly, she was all alone against The Bug Colony That Walked Like A Woman.
But a glance behind Akane gave her renewed confidence. And a plan.
Peroth swung her hammer low to try and clip Akane's legs. Akane shifted into a 'horse' stance to absorb the force of the blow while she brought down 'Can't Touch This' on Peroth's head. The force of the blow drove Peroth and her mallet to the floor. Akane smiled as Peroth's mallet bounced off the floor and then off her leg...
...Only to have that smile removed from her when Belldandy and Skuld smashed her to the floor with their mallets.
Akane, it seemed, had underestimated her opponents, assuming that they would fall before her as easily as the Horde O' Hentai at Furinkan High. She'd forgotten that these were GODDESSES. Goddesses from a war culture at that with a tie to the Ultimate Force. She might've been able to knock them down, but there was no way she could keep them down. On the other hand, the goddesses could knock her down and keep her down. When Peroth and Urd got back into the fight, Akane simply couldn't keep up. worse, each hit was affecting her more and more as more and more bugs got crushed when a hammer hit her.
Finally, the beating stopped. Belldandy has pulled out her spectacles this time and looked Akane over. "That's it. I think we got them all."
"Thank Heaven!" Skuld said. "I was getting sick of all that hit..." Suddenly, Skuld fell to her knees, clutching her stomach, and began retching. The goddesses all gasped at what fell out.
A bug!
"Skuld!" Urd began. "How many times have I told you not to put strange things in your mouth?"
"Hey!" Skuld defended herself. "I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. The only thing that's been in my mouth since then is that boy's... tongue."
And with that the four goddesses turned to the uncouncious Ranma... Beldandy and Peroth passed over Akane as she fell, bashing her with their hammers as they passed and driving her into the ground
(Posted Fri, 07 Feb 2003 08:03)
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