Ranma made himself comfortable for the coming show, smile widening into a veritable grin. No end of the problems he had experienced in the past/future had been because of his former curse, while his father had evaded responsibility for at least as much using his curse. Ranma had, occasionally, wondered if his father was anywhere near as interested in curing the curses as Ranma for just that reason.
Since Ranma was now a beast, it was perfect karmic balance (or something) that Genma should be a girl. Not least, the possibility of Soun proposing marriage to Oyagi would really balance a recent unsatisfactory memory, even if no one but himself had it. The Great Will obeyed the gentle impulse, and as far as everyone else was concerned the Spring of Drowned Carp was over there by the Spring of Drowned Panda, and the Spring of Drowned Girl was right where his father had landed.
As the figure (wearing the top half of a sodden gi) emerged, a rustle sounded from the thicket the man had been ejected from. Ranma glanced idly over his shoulder. His eyes widened as a swarm of rabbits roiled out of the undergrowth, and he lunged back. Seconds later, a plump buck dangling from his jaws as he chewed on a plumper doe, he turned around to see his father standing at the edge of the spring, staring in horror into hisher gi. The huge sabretooth regarded the woman with distaste.
Onna-Ranma (when she had existed) had been a knock-out. Ranma had taken a perverse and secret pride in being one of the cutest girls in his area, even as he had hated the distinction. Meeting his mother had made it clear where those looks had come from. Seeing his father now made it clear where those looks hadn’t any chance of having come from. Onna-Genma was plain. In fact, she would have been plain, except for the fact that she was plump, bordering on fat. She was also (and the fact had somehow not occurred to Ranma before switching the springs around) her father’s age. Which made her plain, plump, and middle-aged.
This would never do, at all. Ranma crunched the buck thoughtfully as he considered options. He recalled Lukosai, who had masqueraded as his own grandchild after falling in the Spring of Drowned Child. A minor exercise of the Great Will told him that the Springs would mix, but while chasing Genma across the valley to fall in there had a certain appeal all on its own, that would leave Ranma the apparent responsible person for an eight-year-old female Genma with at least three decades experience in theft. In the middle of China, no less.
Idly, Ranma gave himself fluency in the main forms of Mandarin and Cantonese, plus the dialect common to the immediate area (which turned out to not be Mandarin at all - no surprise, given the way the Amazons somehow remained mostly independent from everyone). Another moment’s thought gave him Korean, Tibetan, and half a dozen other languages of Eastern Asia and the Pacific Rim.
Trying to moderate the effect of the second spring his father fell into would be difficult, even with the Great Will, and there was still the issue of onna-Genma being so unattractive. But with a little bit of shuffling, and inventing a new spring, and some more retroactive fiddling…
In seconds, the Spring of Drowned Child lay next to the Spring of Drowned Girl – or perhaps that was the Spring of Drowned Woman – with a slight leak through the mud ensuring that anyone who fell in that also lost several years of age, but not enough to revert them to childhood. Onna-Genma youthened to a teen. Another quick shuffle placed the Spring of Drowned Weasel (near miss, that – pity, might not have fiddled if he’d landed there) directly against the path from the Musk Kingdom, leaving an empty space for the Spring of Drowned Anorexic, which was also provided with a leak. The pounds fell off the girl, nearly followed by her gi. The effect had to be balanced carefully, so onna-Genma was slim rather than skeletal.
That, though, was all the Springs of Jusenkyo could do. Oh, Ranma could add a Spring of Drowned Supermodel, but he recalled one of Nabiki’s infrequent tirades on the subject of some woman too stupid to be rich when all she needed to do was stand in front of the cameras and let people throw money at her. It was frighteningly likely that an onna-Genma that good-looking would still be morally and financially bankrupt and expect Ranma to get him out of the resultant messes.
So, more retroactive fiddling, this time with his grandparents. Oh, now that was interesting; Grandma had an affair, and a child from a kamikaze pilot, and married someone else to cover up the scandal. That left Grandpa Saotome the flabby borderline imbecile that raised Genma, while Grandma Saotome received only gentle tweaks – onna-Genma’s hips curved, and her unbound hair thickened and lengthened – while that honourable kamikaze warrior was – ick – a KUNO? Change that, quick; look, there was a Mendou in the same squadron, Grandma Saotome missed him by a whisker; all it took was having her and her best friend swap seats in that café where they met – onna-Genma’s glasses vanished, never having been needed – and it’s a moment’s work to tweak that family back a few generations – onna-Genma’s back straightened, and her bust perked up to rival the now forever-lost onna-Ranma’s – job done! Throughout this process, Ranma had failed to recognise that changing his father would also change himself. It would be several hours – when he returned to human form in the Amazon Village, in fact – before the disadvantages of improving his genetics would occur to him.
Ranma looked up at the gorgeous teen in the middle of the valley. Another application of the Great Will removed his instinctive overreaction to her near-nudity. With a more objective view available, he decided the job was finished, and set off to guide his father on a safe path back to dry land. Some minor tweaks at long distance would leave Kuno still seeking the love of his life…
Saotome Genma stared at herself. Decades of effort building the monument to masculine power and capability that was his body – lost in a fraction of a second to exploding vegetation and a cold bath. Memory of a certain agony still reverberated between her legs, but the organ that received that injury was gone forever.
The loss was as significant as the loss of his son, on a philosophical level. Maybe more so; at least he could sell his son to a zoo, and no one (No-chan included) would ever connect the scrawny, helpless girl with the sturdy, self-sufficient, paragon of humanity and masculinity that was Saotome Genma.
A basso rumble brought her out of her reverie, and she looked around to see a huge, furred, hip-high form seated not three metres away, looking at her. A rivulet of blood trickled down one monstrous fang, and Genma realised his – her son had already discovered a means to break her plan asunder. She was slightly surprised the Guide made so small an effect on the monster cat’s shape; why, she could hardly tell the beast had eaten at all!
“Ah, son, I…”
{Better get outta here, Pops,} suggested the disembodied voice of his son.
Genma stepped back, her fears realised.
{NOT THAT WAY!} yelled Ranma, {That’s Spring of Drowned Octopus!}
“Huh – What? Erk!” exclaimed Genma, waving her arms as the bank sagged under her. A quick step took her onto firmer ground, and the cat sighed explosively. Genma realised that had been a step towards the cat, and sidled along the ground in the direction of away.
{OK, take the next left.}
Cautiously, and glancing quickly between the ground underfoot and the cat, Genma stepped in the direction indicated. The cat grinned.
“Uh, I’ve never seen a cat grin,” he said.
{Often seen cats without a grin, though, haven’t you?} mused Ranma. {Go straight on here.}
“Ah, yes, I could say that,” admitted Genma, wondering if there was any point to this rather curious line of conversation, and stepping onto the narrow isthmus separating the Spring of Drowned Hedgehog from the Spring of Drowned Lamia (actually Spring of Drowned Snake Swallowing Man, but the records had gotten a little foxed on occasion, and extremely dragoned once, and ‘lamia’ had been the nearest guess once when they were transcribed).
{Perhaps you’d prefer a grin without a cat?} suggested Ranma. A poke at the Great Will gave him that power as well; one he transferred across to his uncursed form as well, since the ability to vanish with a smile would be seriously cool. He got up and strolled after his father.
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(Posted Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:26)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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