“So, let me get this straight,” said Haruka. “This girl named after a hair care product shows up, blackmails your cats into helping her look for her fiancé who, incidentally, is the guy responsible for finding the Zodiac Senshi. Then you guys teleport back from Hinata, two new Senshi in tow, she makes you all dinner, and then she flips out because you won’t spill anything about where Ranma is. As she’s trashing Makoto’s apartment, she loses her grip on one of her maces, destroying the oven and making her hostess go into a berserker rage. In this rage, Makoto used her electrical abilities while untransformed and generally kicked gaijin ass. Finally, Aquarius takes down Miss Crazy-Go-Zap, Virgo heals them both, and the girl bikes off into the sunset with nary a complaint.” The blonde took a breath. “I miss anything?”
Usagi shook her head. “That pretty much sums it up.”
Michiru looked to the former berserker. “So you don’t remember anything after she destroyed your oven?”
Makoto shook her head. “Everything after that is a blur.”
Ami consulted the Mercury Computer. (Hotaru hung over her shoulder, making sure sure the bluenette wasn’t sneaking peeks at the Silver Wiki again.) “As far as I can tell,” Ami reported, “the trauma of someone attacking her home and destroying something precious to her combined with being barred from the potential stress relief of transforming caused Makoto to, well, snap.” The tall girl winced at the bluntness of the statement. Ami looked apologetic. “Sorry, Mako-chan, but it’s the best way I can put it.”
After a bit of clicking, she continued. “It isn’t entirely unlike Usagi when she enters her Princess state, just more violent.” A few more taps and a cautionary glance from Hotaru later, the Ice Senshi smiled ruefully. “It makes sense, actually. Apparently, Princess Jupiter had a rather more volatile personality than the Moon Princess.”
While this made Makoto shrink a bit more, it piqued Rei’s interest. “You’ve got records of what we were like during the Silver Millennium?”
Ami nodded. “All here, though it’s hardly the neutral tone one would expect from such a source. According to the article history, there was something of an edit war between Princess Jupiter and her mother, especially over whether the princess was ‘boisterous’ or ‘prone to behavior unbecoming of royalty.’ ”
Makoto found herself glaring at this comment and forced her fists and teeth to unclench.
“We should look at that later,” decided Rei, even more intrigued. Maybe back then her father wasn’t such a weasel.
Minako nodded. “Right now, though, we need to look more into this use of our powers when untransformed. It could be really useful, but if it requires a loss of control…”
Makoto suddenly found the floorboards of the shrine fascinating.
“Then again,” the Senshi of Love and Lasers said more cheerfully, “I can easily think of a few people who could use a toned-down Crescent Beam.”
“Mina-chan…” Usagi said, half chiding, half agreeing. A certain little brother, after all, could only be improved by a mild Moon Princess Halation.
Aoyama Motoko was a strong, independent, and brilliant young woman. Yes, she’d failed the Todai entrance exams on her first try, but even Naru, who had once been top in the entire nation in the practice exams, had needed multiple attempts to be admitted. Motoko would not ever give up unless she was left with absolutely no other option, a reflection of her identity as the Senshi of Willpower.
However, while well-equipped to handle challenges physical, mental, and philosophical, the girl’s defenses in the sexual arena were next to nothing. Only by finding refuge in misandry and writing pulp romance could she keep her libido at sub-Keitaro-humping levels. A lesbian assault on her senses and sensibility had brought her to near-catatonia. Ironically, it would take the ministrations of another female and yet more smut to break her of her daze.
Su checked the connections to the various imagery intensifiers, rhythmic modulators, alliterative residulators, and simile dumpers of the Novella Appreciation chair. Nodding to herself, she performed one last check on the microphone, and began.
“The Blade of Passion. A tale of romance, by Aoyama Motoko.”
Keitaro looked about the reception area and couldn’t help but smile. He’d been here just yesterday to see Motoko and Su home. He was a tad concerned about leaving the former in the latter’s overly capable hands, but the Molmolian princess had promised she wouldn’t use anything more explosive than loose gunpowder. Before leaving, Keitaro had made sure to talk her down to several milligrams of loose gunpowder and to alert Shinobu to the madgirl’s plans, so he was fairly certain the Hinata Sou would still be standing by the time he returned.
In any case, the landlord had every reason to be here and to be glad about it. Naru was finally coming home after her “cooling off” vacation in Su’s kingdom. Soon enough, Keitaro saw the antennae he loved. “Naru!”
“Keitaro!” The girl came into full view, waving eagerly. She rushed to her fiancé.
Said fiancé noticed a broken tile where his love did not. He rose. “Naru, watch out for—”
Too late. She tripped. Desperately, he dove and grabbed in an attempt to spare her the impact. “You OK?”
“Yeah, I’m fi—” Both noticed where Keitaro had grabbed. “This is how you welcome me back!?” With this indignant cry, Naru delivered an uppercut Ken Masters would’ve commended, sending her hapless hubby-to-be up, bouncing him off the ceiling, and back down.
“You know,” the nigh-invincible ex-ronin mumbled around a mouthful of ceramic, “I’m pretty sure this is how that other tile broke.”
Naru laughed a little. “Come on, you pervert. I want to see everyone.” She grabbed her carry-on with one arm, her fiancé with the other, and dragged both behind her. “And I’ll drive.”
“Yes, dear.”
“We have good news, Erhibikiryoga.”
“What is it?” Ryoga rose and stretched. He had to admit, once he Harukyon had figured out what sort of weather was best suited for him, it could make the area quite comfortable.
“While we cannot remove your morphic field condition, we can repair your unstable quantum flux pattern.” There was a pause pregnant with incomprehension. “We can’t cure cure your Jusenkyo curse, but we can get you back to your home universe and keep you there,”
“Oh. Well, that’s good.” Ryoga decided he could push his luck a little. “I don’t suppose you could keep me from getting lost so often, could you?”
“Perhaps. However, the condition is quasiviral in nature and actively rewrote a small area of your genome during gestation. We are afraid it can only be removed by rewriting that portion of your DNA, which runs the risk of fundamentally altering who and what you are. We prefer to ask permission before we perform such drastic actions.”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
“We understand. Often we have found ourselves hesitant prior to ascension. In any case, you need not remain here while we restore your quantum flux pattern. If you wish, it can be done remotely.”
Ryoga shrugged. “Sure.”
There was a strange multitonal sound, and a spherical object floated into view from…somewhere. Looking around too much gave Ryoga a nasty headache. “This is a Metallic Infinitely Capable Unknowably Resilient Unit. A Mikuru, for short.”
“What does it do?”
“Yes.”
“Eh?”
“That is where the ‘Infinitely Capable’ aspect comes in. A Mikuru can perform literally any action you request of it, as well as several billion of which your mind is incapable of conceiving.”
“Such as?”
“Mikuru 2724462, please process Erhibikiryoga through an axial alteration cycle.”
Ryoga briefly discovered what it was like to have time replaced with space and vice versa. He then blinked. “Whoa.”
“Indeed. Follow the Mikuru. It will plot a course for your home universe.”
“Thank you again, Harukyon-sama.”
“You are welcome, Erhibikiryoga, but we are neither your god nor your patron. In any case, should you find yourself again wandering the multiverse, feel free to visit us.”
Ryoga simply nodded, then turned and followed the little robot as it floated along, presumably towards home.
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(Posted Sat, 05 Jul 2008 04:55)
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