Piercing bolts of agony shot through her skull. "Holy hammering Akane!" Nabiki cursed. The room started spinning around her like an out of control carnival ride, and Nabiki quickly sat down, pressing her fists against her temple in an effort to stave off the pain and dizziness.
Bit by bit the pain lessened, and Nabiki slowly opened her eyes again. Disoriented, she tried to remember what had caused that episode - had she eaten some of Akane's cooking, been hit on the head during a fight? - and found she had two different sets of memories of the past.
In both sets Genma Saotome had shown up with his son several months ago to unite the two schools of Anything Goes. In one set, his son was named Ranma Saotome. That son had black hair and a magical curse that changed him into a girl. In the other set, his son was named Kokin Saotome. That one had blue hair and had miraculously avoided picking up a curse.
As she examined both sets of memories, comparing the events that were remarkably similar yet somehow different as she tried to decide which one was real, she suddenly remembered the wish. She whirled around, almost falling off her chair, and spotted the battered old lamp Ranma had shown her sitting on her desk.
So it was true then. That fool really had found a real, honest-to-God, wish-granting genie. And he had come to her for help with wording his wish. Which meant...
"That, that... ditzy... bumbling... piss poor excuse for a genie!" Nabiki hissed.
The stupid genie had screwed everything up! Nabiki had been joking, not actually making a wish. Thanks to that incompetent genie's cock-up, Ranma was now stuck in a world where people were fighting to the death over some stupid fate and reincarnation thing!
Though, if she were honest, she didn't care about Ranma being stuck in some crazy world, fighting for his life. No, the thing that had her blood pressure sky high and her temperament at the boiling point was that the bumbling fool of a genie had cheated Nabiki out of a wish!
She could have had anything! She could have been the CEO of a successful multinational corporation that earned billions of dollars every year. She could have been the person to discover the legendary city El Dorado! She could have been filthy, stinking rich!
Picking up the lamp, she rubbed it angrily, muttering curses under her breath. It didn't take more than a few seconds for smoke to waft out of the lamp, gathering into a ball in mid-air before it coalesced into a vaguely humanoid shape. Then there was a bright flash, and suddenly Mihoshi appeared again.
The ditzy blonde was cowering, her hands shielding her face as she wailed. "No! I'm sorry! Don't demote me, it was an accident!"
"An accident, my ass!" Nabiki hissed.
Mihoshi blinked, lowering her hands, taking a look around. "I'm back here?" Her eyes fell on Nabiki, and Mihoshi grinned broadly. "It's you! Thank you!" She closed the short distance between herself and Nabiki with one enthusiastic flying tackle, enveloping Nabiki in a hug that would have made even Shampoo jealous. "You saved me from my boss!” Mihoshi gushed. “He would have demoted me to a cleaning elf or worse if you hadn't gotten me out of there!"
Stiffening in surprise, Nabiki almost fell off her chair. "Let go off me!" she cried, trying her best to loosen Mihoshi's grip.
Pressing Nabiki's face into her bosom, Mihoshi kept on babbling for what seemed an eternity to Nabiki before she let go, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. Guess I got a little excited there." Clapping her hands, she was suddenly all smiles again. "But now that I'm here, I really should thank you somehow."
Nabiki's face felt hot, and she realised she was blushing. Blushing! "You can thank me by undoing that wish, you moron!" she said forcefully.
Mihoshi frowned. "Undo it? Why would you want that?"
"Because I wasn't really wishing for Ranma to be replaced with a character from my manga! It was just a joke!"
"Oh, that's right." Mihoshi scratched her head, a sheepish expression on her face. "That's what my boss was saying too."
Nabiki blew out a breath, slowly regaining control over her turbulent emotions. "Good. If your boss knows you screwed up, then you can go ahead and undo it now.” She nodded decisively. That sounded about right. As another thought occurred to her, she quickly added, “And maybe give me something like a refund wish? To make up for the stress and pain you caused."
Mihoshi chuckled, carefully avoiding Nabiki's eyes. "Ehehehe. I'm sorry, but that's impossible. Everybody gets only one wish. We have a strict no refund policy to keep people from doing their wishes over again and again. I'm really sorry, but it's policy."
Nabiki's eyebrow started to twitch. She was dangerously close to just grabbing that ditzy blonde and throttling her. "You're telling me you came here, screwed up a wish because you're a moron, and now there's nothing you can do about it?!"
Mihoshi cringed. "I'm sorry!" she wailed. "I didn't mean to! Please don't be angry! And please don't file a complaint with my boss!"
Closing her eyes, Nabiki massaged her forehead. God, now the idiot was giving her a headache with her high-pitched wailing. "All right already, just stop crying! Jeez, you're worse than my father!"
Mihoshi sniffled a few more times, but did stop crying. "Y- you're not going to file a complaint?" she asked timidly.
"What's the use? It won't undo the wish or give me another one, will it?"
"N- no."
Sighing, Nabiki leaned back in her chair, silently bemoaning her wasted wish. Then she remembered something Mihoshi had said earlier. "You said you wanted to thank me for getting you away from your boss."
"That's right!" Mihoshi suddenly brightened up again. "You really helped me out, and I have to pay you back for that!"
"Think nothing of it!" Nabiki said, her mouth twisting into a sly smile. "Just make me rich and we'll call it even."
Mihoshi giggled. "You're silly! You know I can't do that unless you're granted a wish. And you've already wasted yours."
I wasted my wish? Nabiki's smile froze, and her eyebrow began twitching again. "Well, then what did you have in my mind as payback?" she managed to grind out.
"Hmm." Mihoshi frowned, scratching her chin as she thought. "I know!" she said, "I could bake you some cookies."
"Cookies..." Nabiki could feel her headache coming back. "You screw up my wish, waste my chance at becoming the richest woman in the world, and you think a platter of cookies will make up for it?!"
"M-hm!" Mihoshi nodded, smiling brightly.
Nabiki stared at the genie in disbelief. Either Mihoshi was mocking her or she was just that stupid.
"You know what? Forget it." Nabiki sagged back in her chair. This had to be the worst day of her life. She'd had the opportunity for all the riches in the world in her palm, and it had melted away like a snowflake. All she wanted now was some peace and quiet to mourn her fate. Preferably without some air-headed ditz around. "You don't have to thank me. Just... take your lamp and go."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I just want to be alone."
Mihoshi picked up the lamp and turned around. "Uhm, just one other question," she said, hesitating. Nabiki groaned. "Do you think Ranma might want to file a complaint with my boss?"
Nabiki just stared at the genie, not believing that anybody could be that naive or stupid. "I think that's a pretty safe bet, yes," she said after a few moments.
"And, uhm, do you think I might be able to convince him not to do that?"
Why the hell is she asking me? Nabiki thought. As if I care about that. Still, Mihoshi didn't seem inclined to leave without an answer. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know,” Nabiki said. “Why don't you go and ask him yourself!?"
"Wow, that's a great idea!" Mihoshi beamed. "You're really smart! Now I see why Ranma wanted your help with the wish! Oh no!" she cried, suddenly all worked up again. “I better go and talk to him now before it's too late! Bye!”
There was another bright flash, then Nabiki was alone in her room again. Without mountains of gold and jewels or a bank account with thirty zeros behind the comma. All she had was the money she had scammed out of her gullible school mates and the things she had 'borrowed' from her sisters.
Nabiki cried herself to sleep that night.
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(Posted Mon, 01 Nov 2010 19:40)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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