“Was it a dream where you are standing on a mountain fortress, in like Saffron’s robes and thousands of half naked Chinese amazons are chanting and throwing okonomiyaki at you?”
Makoto stared at the talking cat. “N-no, I was fighting monsters in a really short skirt.”
“Damn, why am I the only one who has that dream?” Ranma muttered.
“So it wasn’t a dream?”
“No, I'm sure I remember having it at least twice a week every time I was forced to eat Akane’s cooking,” Ranma shuddered as he remembered the food of the damned.
“No, I mean having a cat talk to me.”
“Nope, that was real. I know, cause I’m the cat that was doing it.” Ranma grinned.
“And then knocking me out to make me feel better?!” she replied while glaring daggers at him.
Ranma winced and attempted to lie… badly. “No, that was a dream! See… I was talking to you and you fell asleep! Yeah, that’s it! You fell right over and passed out.”
Makoto rubbed her temples. “You are the worst liar in the history of lying.”
Ranma sighed. “Well, let me ask you this, do you still feel like crying?”
Makoto blinked. “No, I don’t feel like crying anymore, but I do feel the need for some aspirin.”
Ranma hopped up on the couch next to her and placed a paw on her head. “Be healed!”
They both waited, but nothing happened.
She shook her head and winced. “Did you really expect that to work?”
Ranma shrugged and jumped back down. “I’m supposed to have healing powers, but I don’t know how to work them.”
“How can you have powers and not know how to use them?” Makoto said, incredulously.
Ranma rolled his eyes. “Are you claiming you know how to turn a desert into a forest?”
“What? No, but what does that have to do with any…” Makoto’s voice trailed off as she put two and two together.
She leaned forward. “I have magical powers?”
“Yeah, didn’t I mention that?”
“No, you knocked me out with no mention of magical powers.”
“Oh, well you do, have magical powers I mean.”
“I can turn deserts into forests?” she asked, the enormity of the situation beginning to sink in.
Ranma nodded. “Yep, but that’s decades away. I’d suggest starting with causing flowers to bloom out of season and working your way up to ruining some guy’s well trimmed lawn to start.”
“That’s not nearly as impressive,” she pouted.
“You have to learn to run, before you can learn a rebound reverse spin kick.”
“I thought it was, learn to walk before you can run?”
“Nah, with the right motivation you can skip walking and go straight to sprinting.”
“How does that work?”
“Well, it works better if I don’t tell you before I do it.”
Makoto quickly sat upright with her back firmly against the back of the sofa and her head against the wall, hands half raised as if to defend herself.
Ranma just stared at her in confusion. “What?”
“I thought you were going to attack me,” she replied before putting her hands down.
“I’d never attack you!” Ranma exclaimed with a bit of hurt in his voice.
“What do you call knocking me out then?”
He shrugged. “That was to make you feel better.”
“That has to be the stupidest way to make someone feel better that I’ve ever heard of.”
Ranma slapped a wise sensei look on his face and replied, “If it’s stupid and it works, then it ain’t stupid.”
“Let’s start over. Who are you, what are you, and what do you want?”
“My name is Ranma Satome, I am your magical mascot, and I am supposed to look after you. I figured I’d start by cheering you up and then train you in your powers, or at least in the powers we have in common.”
“Well, that’s… the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Well, not counting that dream you mentioned.”
Ranma laughed nervously. “Anyway, I thought we’d start off with some basic martial arts training and once you got a decent grasp of your chi, I’d start training you on how to handle your magical abilities.”
“A cat is going to teach me martial arts?” Makoto snorted.
“Who got their ass handed to them by this cat?”
She winced. “Point.”
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(Posted Sat, 25 Oct 2008 06:31)
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