It was a fairly typical school day for Tendo Nabiki. Wake up far too early for her taste from the sound of their perennial houseguests’ sparring, run on automatic through her morning routine, examine the wreckage of the Hentai Horde on her way to class, contemplate the injustice of one such as Kuno receiving his level of wealth, enjoy lunch, ponder further the iniquity of the universe, then go home, do homework, read manga, and manage her various minor financial operations.
At least, that was the plan. Nabiki managed to make it through “go home” before today varied from the norm. Kasumi provided the deviation. “Nabiki, you received a letter.”
“Eh?” The middle sister received the envelope blankly. “Huh. Figured I wasn’t old enough to start getting junk mail.” She shrugged and went to her room before examining her letter. Oddly, there was no return address, only a red cylinder with a smoking fuse and three English letters written on the side. “T N T. Weird.”
Nabiki unsealed the envelope with a shrug and a letter opener, only to find it mostly empty. There was no actual note with in, only a five-yen coin. “Is Hinako-sensei sending chi draining by mail now?” The coin began to glow, as though in response. Understandably, the girl dropped it in shock.
As and after the coin hit the floor, the glowing grew in intensity. It culminated in a cone of light pouring outward from the hole in the center of the toroidal currency. From this cone emerged a figure in ornate and impractical looking robes. Her expression was one of inhuman serenity and grace, and her face was adorned with three blue markings. Each cheek bore a rounded equilateral triangle, one corner pointed downward. The center of her forehead was marked with a blue silhouette of the very coin from which she emerged.
Once Nabiki got past a woman teleporting into her room via loose change, she noticed one more remarkable trait of her guest: barring the clothes and marks, she looked just like her hostess. “Wh-who are you?” asked said hostess, not nearly as assertively as she would have liked.
Her doppelganger seemed amused. “I am Fleece, Goddess of the Quick Yen, second class, limited license.”
“Wait a minute…” Nabiki turned to her manga shelf and dug out one of the volumes of Ah! Megami-Sama! Looking at both one of the splash panels and the intruder, she exclaimed, “Fujishima got it right!?”
The goddess laughed at this, sounding a bit like coins running through a sorting machine. “No, not in this universe. But in my home, it is as in that story.”
“So you know the Norns?”
“Only on a professional basis. I don’t work in any of the Relief Offices or on Yggdrassil.”
The mortal huffed. “Doesn’t seem like you’re working at all if you went to a whole different universe. And why do you look just like me, anyway?”
“Well, I’m on vacation at the moment, and I was going to make you a very nice offer, but if you’re going to be that way…” The deity turned and picked up the coin.
“WAIT!” Nabiki coughed awkwardly. Damn it, never let on that you’re desperate! “Er, that is, forgive this one.” She knelt and bowed, it finally registering that, lookalike or no, she was speaking to a literal goddess. “This unworthy one was merely taken aback by thy sudden appearance and stunning countenance, of which this one is naught but a pale reflection.”
Let the record show that prolonged exposure to Kuno Tatewaki can provide, among less desirable side effects, a surprisingly adept command of archaic speech patterns.
Fleece rolled her eyes. “No need to kowtow, Nabi-chan. I’m not the sort of god that demands supplication and sacrifices. And besides, I came to you. I think that makes you worthy by default.”
“I-if you say so…” Nabiki dropped the old dialect, but kept genuflecting.
“What are you doing now?”
“Averting my eyes, my Lady.”
“I heard that capital letter.”
With her face pressed into the floor, Nabiki hid her confused her expression from the goddess. “What capital letter? I’m speaking Japanese, not writing English!”
Fleece shot a dirty look at the fourth wall. The narrator promptly adjusted his translation protocols. The deity nodded and sighed. “Sorry. I meant that the ‘-sama’ wasn’t necessary. And you can get up. Really. I’m not going to leave and I’m not going to smite you.” The girl hesitantly rose, keeping her head bowed. “And I won’t be offended by eye contact.” She had to manually adjust Nabiki’s head to get results there.
“S-sorry, Fleece-sam— Fleece-san. It’s just—”
“I know, I know. I’m a goddess.” She sighed. “Seven times out of ten it’s like this, and the other three it’s because you don’t have the wits to understand.”
“I don’t understand, Fleece-sa…an.”
“Aren’t you the least bit curious as to what T.N.T. stands for?” The divine one held up the envelope from which she came.
Nabiki blinked. In her awe, she’d completely forgotten about it. “Oh, um, sure.”
“Tendos Nabiki Transformed.”
“'Tendos Nabiki Transformed?' Who named something after me?”
“You did.”
“I did?”
Fleece sighed. “One of the Pluto analogues should have to explain this.”
“Excuse me?” All decorum was, once again, lost in astonishment. “You mean to tell me that Sailor Pluto is in on this? How many other anime are real?”
Fleece considered this for some time. “I’m fairly certain there aren’t any Puni Puni Poemi realities.”
Nabiki’s mind skirted implosion by considering the sheer magnitude of what was before finding something smaller to settle on. “Thank goodness for small miracles.”
The goddess nodded. “Anyway, only a few Plutos are involved. Specifically, the ones who are you.”
“…I’m not getting it.”
“When I said that almost every anime is true, I didn’t mean in this universe. There are infinities of existences out there, and of those an endless cross-section in which there are analogues to you. Some are Senshi, some are Evangelion pilots, some are vampires.”
“And some,” added Nabiki, “are goddesses.”
Fleece smiled. “Now you’re getting it.”
“So when you said seven times out of ten it’s like this…”
“You’re hardly the first Nabiki I’ve contacted. And roughly seventy percent of the time, they start worshipping at my feet once they realized that, yes, I’m an actual goddess.”
“And the other thirty…”
The goddess frowned. “The other thirty are the reason T.N.T. was created. They are the unfortunates we seek to help. Pokègirls, prisoners, postapocalyptic scavengers… Tendos Nabiki Transformed is their second chance, their lifeline.”
Nabiki considered this. “You’re telling me that there’s an endless quantity of mes out there, and those mes that are better off are rescuing the ones that aren’t?”
“Pretty much. T.N.T. is an organization of Nabiki, for Nabiki, and by Nabiki.”
“…Normally, this would be the point where I would make a sarcastic skeptical comment, but not after that light show with the five yen. So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”
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(Posted Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:11)
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