Tamaranian men were about the Galactic Average as far as lovers were concerned. Five minutes tops.
Having learned that Earth men (or at least top-rated martial artists) could go much longer than that was going through hyperspatial gossip circuits to a variety of individuals who found this to be very interesting.
A large number of male individuals on Earth kept getting ominous feelings. A number of those mystically inclined, however, went on vacation.
"Oh HELL," said Raven.
"Hell - a small town in Arizona," said K'ontour. "There's also one in Michigan."
"No, well, I suppose it is, but that is NOT what I meant," said Raven.
"Are we not at the Mall Of Shopping?" asked K'ontour. "Is this not in Japan?"
"That is NOT the correct definition," said Raven, leaning against a wall and covering her face with both hands.
"Oh," said K'ontour. "Then this involves the giant flightless bird demon named Pou-Tree?"
"What do you know about the... no," said Raven. "I get visions of the future. It's sort of a mix of clairvoyance and precognition, but not completely under my control."
"You received a vision of the dreaded Lord Of Chickens?" asked K'ontour.
"This 'girl-bonding' thing is SO not working," said Raven. "Look, can we forget about chickens for now?"
"No?" asked K'ontour. "But they are quite tasty if you add the sauce of mustard."
"Your cousin told someone in space," said Raven. "Your cousin put the word out in that she has a major stud-boy on tap."
"It is normal behavior on Tamaran that when one has succeeded in finding a male mate to commence the session of bragging about the sort of qualities that one found attractive," said K'ontour. "It is an ancient tradition."
"I... Actually, I think there's a human equivalent, but we focus on the shortcomings..." Raven shook her head. "No. Your cousin has unleashed a problem that will be causing great hardship for many Earth humans."
"Oh that is bad," agreed K'ontour. "How does my cousin engaging in the ancient custom of mate-bragging endanger Earth?"
"Because..." said Raven, wondering if she should say that. If she could say this. "Alien girls have alien boyfriends, right?"
"Normally this IS the case," agreed K'ontour, turning back to go through swimsuits.
"Alien boyfriends are normally of the same or a compatible species, right?" asked Raven.
"Yes," said K'ontour, trying to catch a salesgirl's attention. Which seemed to be difficult despite the proximity of three of them. "Though not always. I recall a relationship between a Cizzballian and a Quezcoutlian. Very odd."
Raven grimaced. Keeping things on subject with K'ontour seemed very difficult. "Well, how many races would human males be 'compatible' with?"
"At last count?" asked K'ontour, thinking for a moment. "Roughly ten thousand three hundred and fifty two within this Galactic Arm and attendent subdimensions."
"Ten... thousand?!" asked Raven, momentarily aghast. "err. Right. And how many would consider someone like, oh, Robin - to be err. How do I say this?"
"Prime grade A beefcake? Superior Snugglebunny material?" asked K'ontour.
"How do you even know terms like that?" asked Raven. "No. Nevermind. I don't want to know. Yeah. That's what I mean."
K'ontour considered that, before turning to Raven with a horrified expression. "You mean they will come here to steal away Robin from K... Starfire?!"
"Something like that," said Raven.
One of the girls nearby shrieked. "Alien girls are coming to steal our boys?!"
"They can have my ex..." said one of the salesgirls.
"The general public needs to hear all this?" asked Raven, who'd thought the conversation quiet enough in volume not to register.
"Oh, do not worry friend Raven," said K'ontour, holding up an alien gadget. "This device is an identity masker. I am not sure how it works, but it keeps names and things and even what we look like disguised."
"Handy," said Raven.
"I do not know why Spectre-kun said I needed such a thing," said K'ontour. "But everyone agree so I take with me."
"That might not be enough," said Raven as she noticed girls talking about this amongst themselves.
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(Posted Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:58)
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