With a world inhabited by super beings, the ways of ‘dealing’ with them vary from country to country.
In the island nation of Japan, the various agreements that keep them from building up any real armed forces also have little known clauses that prohibit the employment of such people in the name of defense, national, public, or otherwise. As such, their response to disturbances of the paranormal nature are to close their eyes, plug their ears, and hum loudly. This actually works very well on a national scale thanks to the various secret ninja clans in the country that tend to do a good job policing themselves, as well as keeping out of the public eye.
In America, things work a bit different. In 1971 a special group was founded by the FBI to recruit, train, and field a platoon of beings that were capable of handling threats to the American and larger world populace that could not be dealt with through normal means. Due to the times in which this agency was founded, it was called the ‘Wonder Friends’ and all of the agents ran around in flashy tights doing good deeds in full view of the public to help inspire the people.
The project failed horribly and was eventually dismantled.
However, just because the heroes went away didn’t mean bad people didn’t stop trying to destroy/conquer the world.
So, a new organization was formed in place of the Wonder Friends. Instead of over a fifty agents, they operated with fewer than ten. Instead of super hero uniforms, they wore the ordinary black suit and tie. Instead of making a public spectacle, they kept everything as quiet as they could. Instead of the ’Wonder Friends’ coming to the rescue, ‘Agency Zero’ would clean up the messes as quietly as possible.
In the FBI North American branch nerve center for ‘special emergencies’ and related supernatural phenomena, the office manager sat at her desk and typed away on her computer. D’bra, who was mostly known as Debra thanks to both a misunderstanding with the people at the Social Security office and the fact it was just easier for people to pronounce, idly noticed the sound of a door opening as she sorted through old data that needed to be cleaned out of the system.
“Hey Debbie I, mmph, finished that, Mmm these are good, report on-OUCH!”
Debra’s attention shot up from her screen to her office door and she frowned at the woman who had just banged her head on the top of the doorway while walking in.
Xane was another one of the agencies’ supervisors; although the title was somewhat misleading since NOBODY let her be put in charge of anything! Unlike Debra, who could pass for an average working class woman with a slim figure and slightly tanned complexion, anyone who looked as Xane could tell she was part of the ‘super’ crowd. Standing at over eight feet tall, the dark skinned, extremely well-endowed redhead was probably pound for pound the strongest woman alive.
With her hand on the top of the doorframe, Xane noticed Debra glaring at her from across the room, and wisely kept from making the entrance high enough to accommodate a woman of her stature. Thanks to the one… two… or six times she did in the past, Debra made sure Xane understood just how much having a big hole where her door had been displeased the other woman.
While Xane could beat her in an arm-wrestling match with some effort, brute strength wasn’t the reason the FBI had Debra on the payroll. In fact, her ability to chunk several tons of weight was probably the least scariest thing about her.
When her co-worker slapped the folder down on her desk, Debra looked at the numerous bits of pink frosting on them, but managed to repress a sigh. Hopefully the actual papers inside were clean. They had tried giving Xane a computer awhile back, but returned to having her use normal pen and paper since it turned out to be more cost effective in Xane’s case.
“So how do you like the cupcake-s?” Debra asked, sounding as disinterested as possible and stumbling as she noticed all the mess; there was way too much frosting for Xane to have eaten just one. Debra had tried a new recipe today, but after the gingerbread man incident during the Christmas party of 04, people around the office tended to shy away from Debra's cooking, no matter what the taste.
Xane tossed the last bite into her mouth and swallowed it whole. “Oh yeah, great!” she replied. “Although the last five didn’t have as much frosting as the first nineteen.”
Debra rolled her eyes. She had run a bit low towards the end and… Wait a second, I only brought two-dozen. “Xane,” she growled before standing up to slam her hands on her desk. “You ate them ALL?”
The fact Debra’s eyes were now glowing green told Xane it was a good time to start cowering. By her reaction, Xane was guessing that Debra had baked the things. “What? I said they were good.”
“Those were for the entire office!” Debra shouted. “How could you be so selfish?”
But before Xane’s fears of inpending doom had a chance to be realized, Debra’s door banged open again, and another one of the FBI’s super powered agents came into the room. Agent M, real name unknown/non-existent, was what anyone would expect from an FBI sponsored MIB-ish operation. He was an average looking man with nondescript short hair and wearing the stereotypical suit and tie combo, although this morning he forgot to put on his glasses.
“Agents Xane, D-” M stopped when he noticed the state of the two women. “Is there something wrong?”
Debra pointed to Xane and was about to explain in a very loud and angry voice what was going on, but decided shouting ‘she ate all my cupcakes’ sounded just a little too strange and immature when it ran through her head. Besides, by the way M came busting in, there was obviously an emergency happening that they needed to deal with.
“Uh… no sir. What’s going on?” Debra asked while dialing down her aura.
As the tingling sensation in the room for the non-magic users went from 'get the hell out!' to just slightly dangerous, M related the report. “There’s a situation developing in Florida. We’ll be using a team of four for this one. I’ve already informed agent ‘Gia. He’s meeting us at the transporter."
“YES! I’m off the hook!”
Xane frozen when she noticed both of the other agents staring at her. “I mean uh…” she straitened her back and headed towards the door. “Let’s go, there are innocent people at stake!” A second later she crashed through the thing and was thundering down the hall like her life depended on it.
Back at her desk, Debra found herself wondering how the hell someone as loud and noticeable as Xane was still in an organization that tried to keep everything as hush hush as possible.
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(Posted Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:45)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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