Sarutobi stared balefully at the calendar; today marked the end of a week filled with enough violence and property damage to get young Ranma kicked out of the village. Thankfully for the boy, the offsetting amounts of female nudity tempered the reactions of the mostly male council. But today, today had the potential to make every day of the previous week look tame in comparison. Sarutobi gave a weighty sigh as he sat consumed by his thoughts.
Demonstration day has finally come. I wonder if Jiraiya will arrive for the demonstration. For the sake of my sanity and the female nin, I can only pray that he doesn’t.
A cough interrupted Sarutobi’s musings, as Ibiki made his presence known.
“Hokage, the practice ground is ready. I made certain that all cameras monitoring the area are off and disconnected, as well as insured that any such recoding devices were confiscated. Practice dummies have been set up, and the majority of the observers have arrived,” stated Ibiki. “The missing observer is Jiraiya, and his presence is questionable.”
Hoho, well played Ibiki. The double meaning in that statement was artful. “Very well, Jiraiya has yet to respond to the summons. We will count him lost for the demonstration,” replied Sarutobi with a hint of amusement and relief.
Man… this is kind of intimidating. They said observers would be present, but this? Hinata’s pop, the Hokage, Kakashi, Anko, some old dude, Gai?!... What the hell is Gai doing here? This isn’t some super bizarre form of one-upmanship between Gai and Kakashi to learn my techniques is it? I mean if Ryouga was learning some super pervy technique, I wouldn’t stoop to learning the technique as well… probably. Unless he beat me like twice with the technique, and I couldn’t find a counter. What would be the counter… maybe the counter is Akane’s stupid mallet.
Stepping up to the vacantly gazing Ranma, Sarutobi coughed lightly to get the boy’s attention. “Ranma, we can start the demonstration whenever you are ready. And please abide by the ground rules given by Nodoka,” Sarutobi said. The Hokage smiled with amusement at Ranma’s huff of resignation.
“Man, why can’t I show off the good stuff… Those are respectable techniques,” Ranma muttered lightly, as he mustered the courage to start the demonstration. “Alright, the order of the demonstration will be medical stuff first, followed by the Umisenken, and then the Fūton techniques. I’m saving the Fūton for last because they can be loud and noisy. It’ll be less hassle for those guarding the area, if curious nin aren’t stopping by to checkout the explosions. Any objections to the order, Hokage?” questioned Ranma.
“No objections Ranma, the order is acceptable,” replied Sarutobi. Given the boy’s tendency to leap head first into endeavors, Sarutobi was slightly surprised by the restraint shown. But then again having others blunder into this demonstration would be problematic.
“All right I’ll need a volunteer for the first part, straw dummies aren’t known for their chakra system,” stated Ranma.
“Lucky day,” Jiraiya whispered. Several of Konoha’s bathhouses were being repaired, leading to babe surpluses in the remaining bathhouses. A thin line of drool escaped his mouth as a violet tressed beauty slid into the water. A furious scribbling sound could be heard as notes were being taken. Nothing could inspire a good story like a return visit to his home town; although Jiraiya could swear he was missing some sort of event. Oh well, it couldn’t have been that important.
“Yugao, you got the day off? I thought I saw the ANBU heading out with the Hokage?” queried a brunette with tattoos.
A flat look crossed the ANBU member’s face, “There is a demonstration occurring that I chose not to attend.”
Demonstration, demonstration… that sounds vaguely familiar… Turn around, turn around, let me see the goods. Yes. Yes, Yes! Now that’s inspiration. Jiraiya turned his eyes towards the heavens as he mouthed a silent thank you.
“Ah, the other medic-nins were discussing some sort of upcoming technique exhibition. They were upset that they couldn’t acquire any tickets,” replied the tattooed brunette. “Some of the senior medics were convinced that the techniques would revolutionize medic-nin procedure.”
“Hana, give me a list of those medics that wanted to attend.” was Yugao’s stern reply.
“Okay, but why?” Hana replied.
“Anybody who wants to see the Saotome boy’s demonstration, is going on my personal ‘do not see’ list,” was Yugao’s reply.
“Ahhh! Ranma’s demonstration, I can’t believe I’m missing it!” Jiraiya’s exclamation echoed throughout the bathhouse. And then horrid realization of his mistake set in, as waves of killing intent engulfed Jiraiya’s senses. Unable to resist a parting shot, Jiraiya shot over his shoulder as he rapidly sped away “Thanks for the show, ladies.”
A hastily assembled mob of scantily dressed kunoichi gave chase.
Ranma felt that the exhibition was going well. The only discordant note in the whole thing was Hiashi. Not my fault that my stealth technique trumps his freaking bloodline, what a spoil sport. Besides it doesn’t completely trump his super eyes, the Hyuuga just need to pay attention with other senses like most ninja. I mean an Inuzaki could probably detect me. So the chakra illumination thing mimics his clan’s ability, big deal. It’s not like the Hyuuga lowered themselves to positions like medic-nin. Feh, could you imagine having someone with the attitude of most Hyuuga as a doctor? Although why did Gai distract Kakashi during the hand seals for the one Umisenken technique? Ranma snapped to attention as a rumbling caught his attention.
“Gai, I swear if you interrupt my concentration during this next technique; I will hurt you. I will revise a thousand years of pain into a form that will require me to wear an arm length glove,” replied a seething Kakashi.
Backing away, Gai’s reply was cut short as the rumbling reached a crescendo.
Bursting forth from the trees, a panting Jiriaya shouted to Ranma, “Use Fūton: Chikan Senkou no Jutsu!.” Ranma couldn’t help himself; Jiraiya voiced the order with the same authoritarian tones that his mother managed.
Ranma almost cried as he saw the towel clad kunoichi chasing Jiraiya blunder into the target area. Towels and hastily clad garments stood no chance against the force of the updraft. Blood loss started dropping the observers as havoc reigned. Jiraiya was dodging like a maniac until a roundhouse kick caused him to drop his guard. Bare leg that traveled to the holiest of holy was more than enough to floor him and leave his guard open.
Ranma had one chance, only Hiashi and Anko remained standing… time to use his father’s ultimate technique: Blame Shifting no Jutsu. The kunoichi were still fixated on Jiriaya when Fūton: Chikan Senkou no Jutsu went off, making this possible. Pointing at Hiashi and using the loudest voice possible, Ranma issued forth, “Hiashi, how could you?” As unthinking and unyielding feminine wrath descended upon Hiashi, Ranma grabbed the Hokage and ran.
That cunning brat… were Hiashi Hyuuga’s last conscious thoughts.
“Good thinking, kid,” replied a maniacally grinning Anko. “Just one question, that technique works on anyone, right?”
“Yeah, I believe so,” replied Ranma. Listening to Anko’s laugh, Ranma could only come to one conclusion. That was a bad idea to have Anko present.
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(Posted Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:58)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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