[Episode 219500] [Episode 219500]Nabiki sighed, the pressure on her head that had been building into a migraine, slowly fading away after the tests were collected. God, I need a drink…
Granted, she only imbibed occasionally back in their own world, usually on a few dates or if she had a particularly good week. Nabiki never became drunk to the point of what most people would define as intoxication. Doing so left her vulnerable, open to attack.
Besides, seeing the stupid things her father and Uncle Genma would do under the influence, offered enough of an example—hundreds of examples in truth—about the dangers of over-indulging.
However, she would trade all of that for a hangover tomorrow and a memory-wipe of today.
The test hadn’t been that bad. She knew most of the answers and guessed half the others. It probably wouldn’t be a perfect score—she’d rather not be known for that, thank you—but it would be good enough to pass. Of course, that meant she’d have to decide on a pokégirl to pick as a starter. The good news was that the image of taking several girls with Ranma either watching or helping did wonders for her headache.
Down girl; don’t start on that train of thought quite yet. I’m still a little sore from everything we did yesterday. I’m not quite ready yet for another ride at the moment.
Not that there won’t be more, I just need another day to recover. Kami-sama, this world either turned me into a pervert or gave me a reason to be. Then again, it could just be because it is with Ranma. She just hoped she didn’t have to pick up a new pokégirl that moment. Even if it was just female-on-female sex—yet another activity she at some point wanted to explore with Ranma when he was ready—she just didn’t think her sensitive nether region could handle something like that for a while.
“Nabiki?”
She hissed as she felt a sudden surge from her dying headache, as it seemed to start struggling. Turning slowly towards half the reason she had the migraine—the other half that claimed to owe Ranma several favors had already left with the test sheets—she gave her sister a hooded glare. “Yes?”
“Why are all these boys staring at me?” Akane grumbled, looking at the few males in the room that were eyeing the Tendo sisters as if they were fresh meat.
“We’re human females, Akane,” Nabiki murmured, keeping her voice down. “At least we are as human as they expect us to be. Remember what I told you about female rights in this world?”
Seeing her sister’s nod, she continued. “Add that up, and you get little boys like this, boys who think with only their dicks.
“Last night, we actually had someone attack Ranma is his girl form because they thought she was a pokégirl and wanted to have her to themselves.
“These boys are worse than the Hentai Horde. They won’t take no for an answer and think they had already won you over.”
“So why haven’t they come over here to bother us?” Akane asked weakly, wondering if she was well enough to beat them up.
Nabiki chuckled as she pointed to the broken proctor’s desk. “Because she told us all to stay in our seats while she was gone or not only would we fail, she’d break them apart so badly, they’d never be a Tamer—or a man—again.”
“Oh…” murmured Akane, looking over at the desk.
“Weren’t you paying attention?”
“Well, when she took up the test, I really wasn’t feeling too well,” Akane finished with embarrassment. “I mean, sure I studied and all. But some of those questions…”
“Like I said, Akane; this isn’t Nerima,” Nabiki finished, as Tsunade returned with two Nurse Joys, each of which was carrying a box.
The smaller of the two boxes was set on a side table near the entrance. The box was revealed to be holding new PokéDexes as some were set out for display and quick access.
The other was held back, but whatever it contained had to be important in some manner, judging by the smile on the Joy’s face. Somehow, Nabiki seriously doubted it could be too good.
Nothing ever could when you had Naruto analogs about.
“Okay then, listen up!” Tsunade yelled capturing the attention of the males in the room once more, as well as the Tendo sisters. “I should congratulate you all in proving me wrong; over half of you actually passed with higher than a fifty percent.”
The males minus Naruto all started celebrating, assuming no matter what, they were the fifty percent.
Naruto was already praying, muttering ‘Please be me!’ repeatedly; obviously doubting his own chances at the moment.
“Just so you little twerps who failed now will know better in the future—not that I expect your brains to retain anything from this exam but how the light reflected off my breasts—is that you automatically get forty five percent if you fill out your name properly.”
The girls blinked at that. There had been rumors in their own world that such was the case for some college exams. Nevertheless, it was true here.
Moreover, it counted for nearly half of their exam?! That meant if you could literally spell your name correctly, you were judged ready to be a Tamer.
AND PEOPLE STILL FAILED!
“Mr. Mallory,” continued Tsunade, looking at one particular boy.
“Uh, yeah?” he asked, flashing his best smile.
“Spell your last name.”
“Okay,” he said. “M-A-L-L-O-R-Y.”
“And your first.”
“X-I-A-N.”
Akane blinked. “His first name is ‘Xian’?”
He turned, glaring at her. “My name is Christian,” he spat.
“That is not how you spell your name,” growled Tsunade.
“It is too!” he said. “My daddy said so cause he named me after that pre-Sukebe holiday, Christmas.”
Nabiki’s head hit the desk … hard. “I can’t believe this.”
“Actually,” said Kasumi with a smile, “the actual holiday is spelled ‘C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S’ normally. The part ‘C-H-R-I-S-T’ was replaced with an ‘X’ so to be politically correct.”
“… What?” he asked.
“Your name is properly spelled ‘C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N’.” With that, Kasumi smiled and turned away from the stunned boy, focusing once more on the front of the classroom as her mind went trying to decide what to name her new Milktit.
“… Man, my daddy’s gonna be pissed,” Christian said. But whether he was referring to his misspelled name or that he failed the test was left unsaid.
“Even if you had spelled it right, you still didn’t pass,” sighed Tsunade. “And for future reference, writing down that you would ‘so motorboat’ me on the test as well as spelling out several different words from breasts will not help you pass.”
“… Really? But I thought that was what that comment box at the end was for.”
“Man, sis, you weren’t kidding,” muttered Akane as she stared at the boy. All hormones and no intellect: it was the Hentai Horde Mk. II.
Now with less brain matter!
“Mallory, Hardman, Boone, Rhodes, Walcutt, Sanders, McDonald, Conner, Paddington, and Marsh: you failed, exit to the door in the back of the classroom!” she yelled, daring the males to dispute her demand. “You can pick up your tests at the front desk and may I suggest next time that you actually study and not spend the time doodling and whacking off!”
“YES!” cried Naruto, standing up. “I DIDN’T FAIL! WOO-HOO! I’M A TAMER!”
“Uzumaki, sit down NOW!” she yelled. It was enough to not only make the blond analog fly back into his seat, but also send the failed boys running for the exit.
One even jumped out of the window. “Every damned time,” she muttered. But at least this time the window had been open. Little perverts were always grabby when she was forced to help heal their wounds.
“Now then, before we hand out a PokéDex to each of you, we have … a very rare honor today,” she said, emotion disappearing from her voice. “We have one person among the rest of you who not only scored above a ninety percent,” she spat, “but a perfect score.
“And no, Uzumaki!” she yelled, silencing the boy before he could stand up again, “it wasn’t you.”
“What?” said blond asked. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Really sure?”
“I can fail you right now, you know.”
“Sorry!” he squeaked.
“Now then, it is my … honor,” she said, her tone reflection exactly what she thought of the honor, “to present the first winner of the Indigo League’s Pokégirl Instructor's Most Promising Award in the last fifteen years it has existed.” In truth, this winner was the only one to have ever won it.
“The winner is,” she said, as the excited Nurse Joy handed her the envelop on top of the box she carried, “is … Kasumi … Tendo,” she finished, eyes wide in shock.
“Kasumi!” shouted the two younger sisters.
Said girl just kept smiling.
Nabiki released a deep breath. “I guess all that studying really paid off for you, sis.”
“Oh yes, it helped a lot,” the eldest Tendo admitted. “But what helped just as much was reading the name of the corporation that made the test up.”
“How did that help?” asked Akane.
“There were made by the Viridick Test Preparations Center,” Kasumi replied. “And since Viridick is greatly known for their anti-pokégirl tendencies, if I was ever confused about the proper answer, I simply chose the answer that sounded like it would be the most demeaning for a pokégirl to have to go through.”
Tsunade blinked. While part of her was very glad that whoever did have a perfect on the exam wasn’t a monster towards pokégirls, she was worried about how Kasumi had achieved a perfect score.
She had used deductive reasoning based on the knowledge of where the test was prepared. She had used her brains.
Heading towards the window, she looked about. “Doesn’t look like hell froze over,” she murmured, still in shock.
“I know I failed,” said the boy who had jumped out earlier, looking up at her chest from the ground, “so I can I see your tits now?”
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” she bellowed, sending said boy crawling away rapidly, a faint trace of the odor of urine in the air.
Naruto gulped, wondering if now was the best time to mention how the Pervy-Sage had mentioned that he was going to get Tsunade to take a ‘hand’ in some of Naruto’s training.
His ramen-obsessed brain cells reminded him such an act would probably hurt at the moment, so he stayed quiet.
“Here you go, Ms. Tendo,” said the happy Nurse Joy, handing the girl the large box.
As Kasumi opened it, Nabiki rubbed her forehead as it all made sense to her now.
Pokégirl Instructor's Most Promising.
P.I.M.P.
She groaned lightly as Kasumi pulled out the dark shaded items and put them on before finally removing a wooden cane with an oversized and gaudy gem on the top.
“Oh, this feels so nice,” said Kasumi with a smile, smoothing out her jacket before making sure her medallion was hanging properly.
“… Nabiki?”
“Don’t say it, Akane. Just … don’t.”
“Um, excuse me.”
Blinking, the Tendo girls turned to the front of the classroom, where a very familiar elf was standing.
“Who are you?” asked Tsunade.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Cassandra; I belong to my master, Ranma Saotome,” she said with a soft smile, before turning to face the Tendo girls. “There was an incident with the garage.”
Nabiki sighed. “Did that asshole Pete burn it down for the insurance money?” she asked, already hoping the girls had snuck the RV out of there without any trouble.
“No, it was attacked by Team Rocket,” said Cassandra. “Alpha Asrial defended the van and property, but she was arrested for Breaking and Entering and several other charges. Master Ranma sent me to inform and retrieve you if the test was finished.”
“What?” yelled Nabiki, standing up rapidly.
Tsunade watched the girls go, moving their names to the front of the list hadn’t been necessary—she had wanted them to go first and receive their PokéDexes anyway so they wouldn’t have to worry about all the males waiting for them outside and hitting on them.
Saotome was in trouble. That alone wasn’t anything new; trouble and Ranma seemed to always be linked.
But it was trouble that could interfere with her own plans at the moment. She did owe the Tamer some heavy favors—especially after he helped her out of some gambling debts. Granted, that help had been in his helping her escape and accidentally uncovering someone who had been planning to kill the owner of her debts while at the same time had been embezzling from the man.
Hell, at least that was four million slcs in debt she didn’t have to worry about anymore.
And he owed her some debts as well. Needless to say, repairing that after a bad episode with a spider-type was worth many favors.
But she had her plans for cashing in some of her favors.
The good thing was that she could still do it. It simply took a little action on the part of one of the greatest medical practitioners on this planet to find what the presiding judge ‘needed’ and hope she could fulfill it.
There were just some things she would never do, thank you. She did have some pride, despite what that video showed after she had a few fifths of G-Spot Rum.
Sighing, she stood up and made her way to the door, planning to head to the judicial offices of Pewtit. “Given a town this size, how many possible judges could there be?” she asked no one in particular.
“Forty-seven,” answered one of the Nurse Joys. “But most of them are retired and there’s a fishing derby a few hours outside of town, so there might not be so many now.”
Tsunade blinked. “And how do you know that?”
“Because inevitably they’ll all get drunk enough, hop into the water believing they can catch the fish with their bare hands, piss off a poison/water-type in the lake, and be brought back here to be cured … again,” sighed the Joy.
Tsunade opened her mouth to respond, but closed it with an audible click. Nope, she absolutely did not want to deal with that. “So do you know which judge Saotome’s issue might be brought before?”
“This totally sucks,” cried Asrial, sitting in her seat in the courtroom, chains on her hands and feet, her prison jump suit she had expected instead replaced with a neon orange string bikini.
And she knew how bad this could get; Alice had yet to flirt or grope her. That couldn’t be a good sign.
“I can’t believe this!” growled Akane. “I mean, what did they expect you to do: just roll over and let them do whatever they wanted?”
“Pokégirls aren’t exactly seen as ‘people’, Mistress,” said Cyan. “Hell, most of us have more rights as pets than we do in the field. They would have been happy if we’d just been killed.”
“The only reason Alpha Asrial isn’t being ‘re-educated’ right now is because the only people dead were belonging to Team Rocket,” sighed Alice. “Even if Master takes all the blame himself for us being there, our Alpha will still be punished for allowing it.”
“Wait,” said Akane, “you don’t listen to your Master, you get punished, even if the command was illegal. You do listen to him and do something illegal, you still get punished.”
“What can I say?” shrugged the Shadowcat. “The system is completely contradictory and half-fucked at the best of times.”
“Did you at least get us a lawyer?” asked Asrial, barely holding in her tears after this morning’s issues. At least her tongue didn’t hurt anymore.
Of course, that didn’t make up for the fact her ass was plastered all over the police station now or that she’d been stuck with that bipolar Jenny and her masochistic partner.
“We would be so lucky,” snorted Cyan.
Cassandra nodded, hating the fact that instead of riding high on endorphins, she was stuck dealing with yet another example of why politicians needed an IQ Test before being allowed to work. “There is hardly a lawyer that will take a case defending a pokégirl, especially if they don’t get to fuck her after the case, win or lose.”
“Well that isn’t nice,” said Kasumi. “Am I going to have to choke a bitch?”
The others slowly turned, looking at the eldest Tendo. “Um … Kasumi?” asked Ranma.
“Yes, Ranma-kun?”
“Did you just threaten to choke someone?”
“Oh, yes,” said Kasumi, smiling. “It was one of the phrases in the book I receive for my perfect score, which informed me of what phrases I was allowed to legally and encouraged to say.”
Ranma slowly took the offered book, opening it up to a random page. “The proper technique to using the dreaded pimp-slap maneuver is to strike with the back of the hand, thus reducing force upon the knuckles and fingers,” he said.
Nabiki began to rub her temples again. Screw it, she was getting sex tonight. She needed the endorphins, damn it! Screw how much her private areas hurt at the moment, she needed the fix, damn it!
Ranma handed the book back to Kasumi before pulling Asrial into a hug. “It’ll be okay, Asrial. We won’t let them do anything to you, even if we gotta run.”
“*sniff* Really?” she asked, looking at him with tears in her eyes. Damn it, with everything that had happened to her in this world, the boy—no, man—before her was the one ray of light and hope that kept her going, kept her grounded and sane.
Ranma nodded quickly.
“Ignoring the issues that would raise,” sighed Nabiki, hating to burst Asrial’s bubble, “we shouldn’t plan any jail breaks with a cop in the same room.”
Blinking, Ranma and Asrial turned, spotting an Officer Jenny at the other end of the courtroom waving at them.
“If you do it, take me with you, oh Taming God!” she exclaimed.
Akane just stared. Part of her wanted to smack Ranma for what had to be an obvious act of perversion.
Part of her wondered why others knew how good Ranma was at taming. Probably that loudmouth Jenny he had to ‘help’… For the moment, her mind refused to believe that Ranma himself would brag about it.
Of course, that part could also be thinking that since he never bragged about fucking Shampoo or Ukyo, maybe he wouldn’t do that here as well.
A part of her was scared, wondering what they might do to her, given what they were doing to Asrial. After all, she had repaired their own property and stopped a group of terrorists. Man, I really better not smack Ranma for this until we’re far from these insane people!
And a finally small part of her was wondering what Ranma had done to earn such a following. But since she’d never admit that part, she just bowed her head and blushed.
“Well, there goes that plan,” mumbled Cyan.
“I don’t care what happens,” growled Ranma, chi coalescing around his free hand as to others, his pupils slowly shrank into slits like a cat’s eye, “I don’t care if they take everything out on me, I ain’t letting them do no more to ya,” he said with utmost confidence and certainty.
Asrial held him tighter, knowing what that meant. She knew what they’d likely do to her—or try to do, since she couldn’t be put into a pokéball unless it was illegally modified and thus would blow their whole cover story. But she knew how much these people desired human girls to pokégirls, the best example would be what had happened to Master Ranma the last evening while he—then she—was returning with Nabiki. Who knew what these people would do to Ranma.
Hell, who knew what they would do to a human woman who broke the law.
And Ranma was willing to undergo that, just to save her, even if he had to suffer as a girl in her place.
“Can’t we at least get Jolie to help us?” asked Nabiki, fighting to not lick her lips as the Jenny’s name brought back the memories of her taste. “She’s got to know the ins and outs of the laws better than anyone?”
“She’s got some duty the other Jennys aren’t allowed to discuss,” sighed Cyan. Really, what could be more important than helping them out?
“Damn it, Gertrude!” yelled Jolie, tackling the other Jenny, “take your damn pills!”
“Nein!” cried the bipolar pokégirl, as she tried to crawl away. “Harold! Stop swinging their like a potted planet and assist me!”
“I’m trying, Mistress!” yelled the masochistic male, as he tried lamely to free himself from his hanging bondage. But given that he hated to be freed, his efforts would always be in vain.
“Damn it!” yelled Jolie. “Forget the oral pills! Give me the anal ones! I’m tired of dealing with this bitch!
“And make a note she is to never get near the males ever again!”
“Well,” said Kasumi, “technically we could make a case that since Pete owed us a sum of money greater than his current possessions, as well as the fact that the male police officers failed to secure the area and our stuff, we could go with the logic we wished to secure our belongings as well as any possible collateral Pete could have taken from him to reimburse us.”
The others stared at her, blinking.
“Well … that could work,” said Cyan. “Incompetence of the local police is a reason a lot of the Rocket grunts and wannabes get off. Why not use it for us?”
“Because the law is always harder on the good guys, namely us,” sighed Alice. “Besides, that won’t take care of the issues with the Tech.”
“Oh, but I spoke to a nice man in the council before we entered here,” said Kasumi. “He seemed most happy to assist us.”
Needless to say, Kasumi had no idea that said man had also gained a copy of her DVD experience with Ranma, Asrial, and Kiiro.
“So … anything you two know of that can ensure we both get community service?” asked Ranma. Of the punishments the Jennys had listed to him, that seemed like the least likely to cause Asrial any harm.
And lesbian sex couldn’t be too bad, right?
Okay, he had no idea if any pokégirl might take advantage of his girl side, but it couldn’t be too bad. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about ‘Little Ranma-kun’ falling off.
“What do you know that could help you?” asked Alice.
“Well,” he said, before explain the precedent that the Officer Jenny named Mariah had explained to him.
Akane once again fought down the urge to wallop Ranma with something heavy. He was working on ways to save the alien girl’s life, not get laid—despite what that paranoid voice in her head demanded. She had promised Nabiki, after all.
And unlike Kasumi, if you broke a promise to Nabiki, she would make certain you paid for it.
“So do we even know who is the judge for our case?” asked the youngest Tendo.
“Not familiar with him, but you won’t like the name,” offered Alice.
“Why?” asked Asrial.
“Because I heard one of the G-Poindexters out front who clerk here. They said he was called ‘the hanging judge’,” she finished, eyes narrowed.
“… So, Master; how are we escaping again?” the Salusian of Imperial Birth asked, turning to face the lone male of the group.
Judge William "Willy" B. Danglin, A.K.A The Hanging Judge, sat in his chambers, reading over the briefs his clerk, Janice, had handed him.
Unlike an actual trial or even a jury trial, all he was required to do was give judgment over the group brought before him. He would read the police report, read over the suggested course of action offered by the officers in charge of the investigation, the prosecutor’s brief, and then a tentative defense offering. If he wanted to, he could go into the courtroom and as long as his actions fell within the legally allowed paths before him, he could ignore part or all of it, refuse to allow the defendants to even offer more explanations, and rule.
Needless to say, one did not become known as a Hanging Judge by giving minimum sentences.
“Seems simple enough,” he murmured, flipping throw several sheets of paper. “Skunk girl did a lot of illegal shit. Male police officers failed in their duties…” He liked when the last occurred. Sure, he enjoyed the looks on the faces of the defendants when he came down upon them like a Snorlass at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, but it was nothing compared to the fear and destruction he could bring down on officers of the Law who failed to do their duties—and despite what many thought, it most certainly was not to please Officer Jenny bootie.
Looking over his computer, he brought up his Law Enforcement File, looking for the listed names of the officers who were supposed to have secured the site. There was nothing quite like putting the fear in a first-time moron.
“Smith… Smith… Ah, sixth time dereliction of duty… Ass is really lucky I can’t order him Balled for this,” he spat.
“Radar… Second time? Guess he didn’t learn his lesson last year’s parade incident.”
“Jefferies… Ah-ha, a first timer…” Smiling, he looked over his ‘allowed’ venues to deal with such officers.
“What about that one crazy bitch…?” he murmured. Yes; recommending the trio be sent out for Buggy Woods patrol with only the crazy Jenny as backup would be a nice version of hell to unleash upon them. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to, but then, they could be charged as unindicted conspirators. And that version of Community Service was always a nice legal loophole to dealing with those of the Law who failed in their duties.
“Now what to do about the skunk slut and her dumbass Tamer…”
“I was hoping we could work out that issue.”
Blinking, he looked up; spotting a largely stacked blonde he knew for certain was not there before. “How the fuck did you get into my Chambers?” he asked with a glare, partially wondering how his security had been breached. As a judge, he supposingly had the best security around to keep vengeful defendants from assaulting him
Tsunade used her thumb, pointing to an open window.
“Okay then, do you know the penalty for trying to bribe an official of the Court?” he asked with a growl. Damn it, the security screen was supposed to have been installed last week.
Then again, it looks like the bastards forgot to fix the AC as well…
“Does the official want the greatest medical expert in nearly all the Leagues to assist him with his … sensitive issue?” she replied, continuing to look relaxed as she leaned against the door.
His eyes narrowed even more. “Lady, you’re hankerin’ for being Balled.”
“Despite what you’d like to believe, there are those that know the truth about why you have the nickname you have?” she asked, eyes open and glaring at him. “And if you don’t wish that to continue, I suggest you drop the bravado and discuss this like rational people.”
His eyes showed that he clearly didn’t believe her.
“Your clerk talks a lot about the lack of anything other than oral,” Tsunade finished.
The man winced slightly. “Gerry never could keep her damned mouth shut.”
“Well, unlike the likely single Nurse Joy you actually went to get help for the injury, I can undo the damage that wild Jokette did to your … equipment,” Tsunade continued.
“And what do you expect in return?” he asked. “Them let go, scot free?” he asked, motioning to the papers on his desk. It had to be related to that case—it was the only one he had.
Tsunade shook her head. “Do that and it’ll just cause trouble down the line; especially if they run into some of your contemporaries that aren’t quite above the influence as you are. Besides, do that and some moron they upset later on is bound to dig it up and then you both will have trouble.” Walking closer, she looked at the sheets containing the ‘recommended’ punishment offered by the police. Making a show of looking at the list, she nodded, before placing the sheet back down on the desk, facing the Judge. “Go for suggestions three and eight.”
The man read the sheet slowly. The punishments seemed … well, below his usual style. “Anything else?”
“I would like to be the one assigned to ensure he fulfills his obligations.”
“I see,” he murmured. It was apparent to him that for some reason, the older woman wanted to help the Tamer. There could be any number of reasons; ranging from the perverted to the altruistic. However he doubted she would come out and admit them, even if asked. “And in return, you will correct my … issue I am rumored to have?”
Tsunade nodded, before reaching into her cleavage and withdrawing a small cylinder. “Act now and I’ll even add a drop of this stuff.”
“And that is?” he asked, positioning his legs to push him from his desk rapidly if it turned out to be a threat.
“A special formula I’ve been working on. Add a drop of this to say … a gallon of water remaining in your water cooler over there, and every sip would have the same effect as Viagra … without the whole heart issue,” she waved off.
It was one of her better developments. The serum was to sexual hormones what Neotame was to sugar—not artificial copies, but in effect, where Neotame was 8000 times sweeter than sugar.
But the formula—that her assistant Shizune had jokingly labeled ‘The Good Stuff’—was even more extreme. One drop could turn a five-gallon bottle of water into liquid Viagra. Add to that the energy boosting properties and high-concentrate multivitamin formula added to it, and you would be likely to have sex for days and only worry about dehydration.
This was also why Tsunade had not released it onto the market. Most of the males on this planet could barely pull a functioning society together as it was. If both they and the women—yes, she spent an extra two years on the formula to make its effects gender neutral—were addicted to the stuff, then society would just fall into one giant orgy. No way even then would they follow the directions. Too much could lower inhibitions, limits, and even cognitive reasoning.
One test mouse had actually mated with a female mouse until she was dead … and until his little mousy heart gave out from dehydration and muscle breakdown three days later.
No, this formula would never leave her mind. But what she did have was good for some things. “Trust me on this,” she continued. “You’ve been out of action for a while. As such, even if you want to show the world you still have it, mental issues will creep in and affect your performance.”
“And that … drug gets around it?” he asked.
She could only give a feral smile. “This formula will make your body override your subconscious on all fronts related to whether your pecker is flying high or at half-staff. And since the only source you’ll ever get, even if you turn me down, is in that water bottle at the moment, I don’t have to worry about you developing a habit.
“But a bit of advice, until that water is gone, don’t let a pokégirl with a high libido drink this. They will fuck you to death.
“Now, do we have a deal?”
“And they couldn’t have got us a better judge?” sighed Ranma.
“Well, there are plenty that retired here,” said Kiiro, knowing many by heart because they were the ones Pete never tried to cheat. “But I think this is their yearly fishing trip.”
“Of all the pokégirls you could have hooked... you had to land a Titacruel?” Judge John ‘Hannibal’ Smith said to his long-time compatriot whose normally dark-skin was taking on a purple sheen. “Those things have Poison as a sub-type, you know.” He sighed as he looked at his cigar, the rolled tobacco soaked from when he and the others had rushed in to pull their compatriot out. What a waste... it had been fine Tropic League Gold!
The large man shivered, shuddered and stuttered. “I d-d-d-did what had t-t-t-to be done, Hannibal!” The large man shuddered. “Did you see her fat ass? I could’a won the weight bracket! Then I could’ve gotten all’a prize money for the children at the Youth Center! Still, once I realized she weren’t taking, I did throw her hell’a far, right?”
“Yes, T.A, you through her ‘hell’a far’ all right,” Judge Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck replied. “You threw her right into the Judge’s Table for the Fishing Contest. It looks like we won’t be winning this year.” While such normally sucked, he was very thankful that their turn on rotation for judging the annual competition had been last year. Still, that was some pretty bad luck for Decker. He’d have to remember to send his fellow Judge a get-well card.
Taking a tight grip on the barbed stinger that was still stuck in his friend’s chest, the judge with wild hair put a foot on the larger man’s stomach for better purchase. “You know, Taracus, you really have a bad habit with getting yourself injured as you do. I mean, what man in their right man wrestles one-on-one with Feral pokégirls?”
The larger man of African descent snorted. “Shut-it, Murdock! I pity the foo’ what think they should depend on pokégirls to handle other pokégirls.” His eyes then widened in shock before he roared out in pain as his mind finally registered the sensation of his compatriot tearing the Titacruel stinger out of his chest. “Oh mama of mine! You be warning T.A. next time you do that!” He shook his head to try and get the stars out of his vision.
Tacking another cigar out of his jacket, the eldest man of the quartet let out a breath of relief as to find that the water had not gone through his clothing; his extra-large cancer stick was just fine. He was just reaching for his lighter when he caught sight of a white helicopter with a large Pokéball logo on the side came into view. “Ah, T.A., you ride’s here. Just in time too.”
Turning his head as best he could, Judge T.A. “Mr. T&A” Taracus gawked as he saw the hospital helicopter. “No! Ain’t no way. Ain’t no way, ain’t no how. T.A. ain’t goin’ on no helicopter ride. Forget about it right here and now! T.A. ain’t nobody’s foo’!”
Sighing, Judge Peck knew what to do. He’d been through this song and dance before. Waking over to the group’s cooler, he took out a sports bottle with a picture of T.A. himself on it. “Never mind that, T.A. Have a nice, cool sip of Milktit milk.”
The large man with heavy gold chains around his neck nodded his head. “Mmm, yeah... Milktit milk is good. Builds strong bones and good for the teeth. Good for the children in the Youth Centers and—HELL NO!” He suddenly roared, breaking off his usual soliloquy concerning the dairy product. “You ain’t makin’ a foo’ outta T.A. this time! T.A. know you be druggin’ his milk!”
“Really? And it only took you twenty-six years to figure that one out?” Murdock asked sarcastically. Look, just drink your damned milk so we can get you up into the air... or else I may have to try something... different.” He was idly tapping a Pokéball he had on his belt.
The large man was stubborn. “Ain’t no way! You can take T.A. down! T.A. may be poisoned but T.A. Handle himself well and...” he trailed off as he looked at the tiny yellow rodent that had been released. “What be that cute little thing?”
Grinning much like the madman he was often associated with, Murdock gave his project the simple command, “Pickahu! Thunder!”
“Oh come now,” T.A. snorted. “This cute little thing’s supposed to-”
“CHUUUUUUUU!”
*CRACKA-BOOM*!
With steam rising from his body, the large man sat in his spot twitching, his three compatriots a considerable distance away from him. His Mohawk turned to centers and his gold jewelry smoldering, all he could say concerning the situation was, “Ouch.” He then fell onto his back from his sitting position.
Looking down at his fallen friend for a moment, the Judge Hannibal shook his head for a moment. “… Murdock?”
“Yeah?”
“What is a Pikachu?” asked the elderly man, lighting up a cigar as Faceman loaded the unconscious and slightly smoldering body of their fellow judge into the medical aircraft.
In response, the ‘Howling Mad’ judge picked up the small yellow … rat he had used. “I’m making me a new video game, based on small creatures like this. They’re like pokégirls but without the need for sex or looking human. I call them … Pokémon!”
“O … kay.”
“And soon, the game will be out, and players will have to travel like Tamers, getting badges, defeating enemies, to become the best!”
“And you think people will buy this?”
“Sure, Billy agrees with me!”
Hannibal sighed. Perhaps it was time for his friend to seek some professional help.
“All rise!” yelled out the Officer Jenny in the front of the courtroom. “The honorable Judge William B. Danglin presiding!”
The defendants felt hope dwindle some more as the man entered, quickly buttoning his robes. Any guy who came out smiling like that and had the nickname ‘The Hanging Judge’ couldn’t have been a good omen for their chances.
“Okay then,” said the judge, banging his gavel. “Let’s get started.
“I’ve read the files and briefs on the matter. I find fault on all parties involved, not just the ones before me. I find fault in the police officers who failed to secure the scene, let alone search it or even place some guards. I find fault on the pokégirl … Asrial,” he said, looking over the paper to check the name, “for breaking into the garage, even if it was to repair her Master’s RV. I find some fault with her as well for using the tech she found—tech that should have been located within the first search of that garage.
“I also find more fault with the police for not even conducting a search. Team Rocket would have been uncovered sooner had those officers and their departments done their job right the first time. Hell, if there had been a first time, we wouldn’t be here.
“I also cannot ignore the service Pokégirl Asrial did in taking out those members of Team Rocket and their pokégirls. While I’m sure certain law agencies with competent agents would rather have live men as dead men tell no tales, I’m certain some of the information they had on them will be useful in some manner or another.
“I have also taken not of Tamer Ranma Saotome’s desire to take the punishment on himself instead of letting his Alpha receive any sentence.”
At the defense table, Ranma’s hand caught Asrial’s, squeezing it lightly, but neither looked away from the judge. People with dangerous nicknames tended to do dangerous things when they noticed people weren’t paying attention, and neither one wanted to anger this man further.
“Nor can I ignore a recent letter delivered to me by the Pewtit Council, co-signed by the Indigo League Council president, backdating their authorization for you to have the tech found.”
The group blinked. The one offense that would have spelled doom to them … was no more?
Nabiki’s eyes narrowed. Nice luck, but why would those people do that for us? Did the Ranma of this world have some serious pull?
None of them—not even the Judge—knew that it was Tsunade who had achieved that release in under an hour. She did after all know most of their secrets as well as what they owed her. In the end, it was something that put the little favor-war she had going with Ranma decisively into her favor.
Well, that and those people were not about to refuse a favor for not only a kid whose pokégirls took out some Rocket Grunts—and would thus face any possible payback from said organization instead of them—but the son of the famous Watcher, Nodoka Sexum.
Of course, the videos on BoobTube probably helped a little.
Nabiki had quite the following … at least until Kasumi’s DVD made it on the air.
“So now we come to the sentencing for your other crimes,” he said, still smiling.
The others simply gulped … all of them. That smile was just extra creepy, especially given his nickname.
“Feel free to appeal, but I find the main defendant, Alpha Asrial guilty of the remaining charges. But as her Tamer requested leniency for her, given her record and her … commendation from the Town Council for fighting and defeating the terrorists,” he said once again, checking the sheet to confirm it, “I will show mercy on her and her Tamer.”
A ray of sunlight, signifying a ray of hope, lanced through the window, illuminating the group. Asrial if asked would have sworn she heard a heavenly choir singing in the background.
“Tamer Saotome, you are hereby sentenced to now less than forty-five and no more than fifty hours of Community Service to the city of Pewtit.”
The Tamer blinked. So … he’d have to pick up some trash and such, maybe plant a tree? That wasn’t so bad.
“YES!” shouted the Officer Jenny, as she began to dance with joy.
The judge ticked for a bit, trying to ignore the dancing and celebrating police pokégirl—as well as the great cheer that seemed to sound off from the outside. “Of course, I cannot just let the Alpha off with no punishment either. So I have chosen a punishment suggested by the Officer Jenny working the case.”
Asrial gulped, hoping to whatever Gods actually existed that it wasn’t that leather-clad psycho.
“Pokégirl Asrial, you are hereby sentenced to a time no more than twenty four hours in the stockade outside of Pewtit Police Headquarters. You will be stripped of all clothing and be a photo opportunity for that time, each photo costing 1000 slc, which will be deposited to a general account used to support the Officer Jenny pokégirls.”
That fear turned into a twitch of its own.
“As a concession for your safety, I will allow your Tamer to post your fellow pokégirls and any associates he trust to guard you and ensure no other takes liberties with you he does not allow. You may be released early if you complete one condition. The funds from this photo shoot will go to build a dorm for the Officer Jennys. Apparently there have been some recent complaints about their current accommodations.”
The Jenny in the courtroom snorted. She would say there were some problems, namely the fact they had no privacy. It would be a pain to get Tamed by someone with some skill, only to have the moment ruined by the other horny bitches watching you, threatening to drag him away. If there was one thing the incident with Jolie proved, it was that you could do a lot more if you had a private room.
“If they reach their goal, you can be released early,” finished the Judge.
Asrial’s head hit the table. Now not only would she have more perverts taking pictures of her naked ass, now they would be paying for it! Oh sure, she could get out of it, but that would require charging more for … something else.
No way was she doing that!
“Now if that is all,” Judge Danglin said, “I will inform you, Tamer Saotome, that your proctor will meet with you later tonight at the Pokécenter to discuss the arrangements and schedules for your Community Service, as well as when your Alpha will be on display.
“Court is adjourned,” he finished, banging his gavel. Standing up, he pointed at the court reporter. “Now Genny, get that sexy ass into my chambers, drop those panties, and prepare to be fucked like my first day on the bench!”
“I honestly could have gone my whole life without ever seeing that,” mumbled Nabiki, as the group exited the courthouse. Apparently, the pokégirl didn’t want to go into the Judge’s chambers.
They did it right there … on the judge’s booth … in front of everyone.
“Nothing is sacred here,” murmured Akane, as Kasumi wheeled her out.
“But it was nice of him to give Ranma and Asrial very light sentences,” commented the eldest Tendo.
“Light?” growled Asrial. “I have to show my bare ass to the world for a photo-op to pay for the police pokégirls to have some privacy to fuck!”
“Well, that is better than being put through a Level-5 Taming cycle, Alpha Asrial,” said Cyan. “Or being put down.”
Asrial opened her mouth to respond, but stopped quickly, her hands latching onto two very familiar dark-furred paws that had quickly slipped under her prison top and bottoms, nearly breaking them off.
“Besides, why not share this perfection with the world, Alpha?” said Alice in a sultry manner, her fingers close enough to stimulate Asrial’s nipples and nether region.
Akane gaped at such a display, before turning to find Ranma. “Ranma!”
“What?” he asked, pausing in the street the group had been preparing to cross.
“Can’t you stop her?” yelled Akane.
Ranma just shrugged. “Why doesn’t Asrial?” He found it was always better not to interfere in such things. Besides, why did he always have to defend the girl against perverts. Couldn’t the girl do it herself? Akane always bitched enough about the fact she could and he knew Asrial could handle herself in a fight? Surely a grabby Shadowcat wasn’t too much for her.
Plus he had little experience dealing with female perverts. Oh sure, Shampoo jumped him at times in either form, molding herself to him and such. But she never stuck her hands down his underwear before, or groped a breast when he was in girl form.
No, it was infinitely much safer to let Asrial handle this herself. She was in charge after all.
“But… But,” stuttered Akane.
“Now Akane, they’re just playing,” admonished Kasumi.
“That’s sexual harassment!” the youngest Tendo replied.
“Only if she doesn’t enjoy it.”
Akane just gaped at her older sister. Kasumi hadn’t changed that much … right?
Asrial sighed as she tried to withdraw Alice’s paws without breaking the flimsy prison bikini they had put her in. While part of her was horrified Alice was doing this to her in public, part of her was happy because it meant the danger had passed. “A-Alice, stop it!” she squeaked.
“Why, Alpha Asrial?” said pokégirl purred into the Salusian’s ear.
Asrial opened her to try and offer a reason, but the Shadowcat was proving how well she knew to push the Salusian of Imperial Birth’s buttons, resulting in only a low moan.
“How about the fact that you’re giving everyone a free show for what we need them to pay for tomorrow?” asked Nabiki, standing in front of the duo and leveling a harsh glaze at Alice.
Pouting, Alice slowly pulled out her hands, but smiled as she looked into Asrial’s eyes, licking the paw that had until moment ago been fingering the Salusian. “Well, think of it as advertising.”
“Hmm,” said Cyan, looking thoughtful. “I do believe I have an idea on how we might be able to get Alpha Asrial released early.”
“How?” gasped Asrial, looking on with hope.
Cyan waved her off. “Give me some time. I have to make sure I can get what we need first. Otherwise it would just be false hope.”
Ranma, like Asrial, had prepared to open his mouth to inquire further, when his train of thought was interrupted by the harsh sensation of being struck by an RV as it braked.
The others—including the random bystanders who had been caught watching Asrial get fingered—looked on in shock as Ranma was shoved to the side a few meters before landing on his back.
“Saotome?” called out Nabiki, she like the rest of the Tendo girls were not worried in the slightest he had actually been hurt. In all likelihood, he was either stunned from the suddenness of the assault or trying to pretend to be out cold to avoid any confrontation that might result in him taking a mallet to the chest.
“… Yeah?” he asked.
“You okay?” It didn’t mean she wasn’t worried.
He slowly sat up. “More like pissed,” he muttered. “Now I gotta change my clothes again.”
“Damn it, Misty! Quit hitting me! I need to check on that guy!”
Looking towards the RV—that now sported a dent in the front—a young male very familiar to the Tendo sisters got out of the driver’s side, trying to force away a pair of arms that kept trying to strike him.
“You should have been paying attention to the road, you idiot!” said person belonging to said arms yelled, as she followed the familiar boy.
“Nabiki, I could swear those two are—”
“Probably are, Akane,” sighed Nabiki. “Just … just let it go.” Kami-sama, it’s too early to become an alcoholic. She was in no mood to deal with more analogs, let alone these particular ones. Right now, she decided, would be the perfect moment to start praying those two would see Ranma was alright, get back into their RV, and leave to never be seen again by the otherworld group.
“I was trying!” yelled Ash. “But some flat-chested Tomboy decided it would be the perfect time to keep slapping me!”
“… What did you say?” growled Misty, glowing red in anger at the insult to her bust. “I’ll have you know I’m of average development for my age bracket!”
“Excuse me.”
Quickly, the two turned, rage on their faces, ready to bite into whoever was interrupting yet another one of their fights.
That rage turned to shock however at seeing the man they had hit moments before standing before them.
“If you two are done,” groused Ranma, still upset that he had to now take another bath and change clothes from being hit into the road, “I think I better hear ‘Sorry!’ from the both of you.”
Ash just gulped and paled. While it could be excused that he didn’t notice the man in front of him was his brother—Nodoka had never shown him the picture in the article due to him being heavily drugged the last twenty four hours—he did notice that somehow who could take a hit from his mother’s armored RV would likely be someone that could rip him apart in seconds. I always knew that Tomboy would get me killed.
I just had hoped I would get to Tame my girls first.
Depending on whether he didn’t wish for embarrassment or what he feared would be a painful death from the Tamer before him, Ash was saved by someone grabbing hi and shoving his face into an all-too familiar and barely covered breast.
His eyes were likewise uncertain why the scary Tamer he had hit was in a similar position on his mother’s other breast.
“WAH!” cried the familiar yell of Nodoka Sexum. “I have my two babies back! My son came back to his Mommy!”
“Is that … Auntie?” asked Akane, looking at the woman wearing a very loose kimono who was currently trying to suffocate the two males in her bosom.
“Did she say … babies?” asked Nabiki, feeling very ill for some reason.
“Oh, Ranma always wanted a sibling,” smiled Kasumi, enjoying the family reunion.
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(Posted Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:11)
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