For Ranma, it was a well deserved rest. For though he could recover from damage at an incredible rate, pineapple explosions took their toll. Especially when one was simultaneously fighting off a group of rabid dancing bears. Or, to be more accurate, the rabid dancing bears that were juggling the previously mentioned explosive pineapples, all while keeping balance remarkably well atop large brightly colored balls. Which were also rigged to explode.
And that was one of the more mundane challenges the Principle had set for them. It was almost spooky how quickly and seamlessly he'd segued from asking his father about his home life into having them run a deadly obstacle course of traps and tricks. And then there was the jelly filled pit trap. Oh, but that was giving him nightmares tonight... How the hell had that whack-job gotten all those army ants to respond on cue? That poor Allosaurus didn't stand a chance.
But that was - mercifully - in the past. Now he was home, he could rest up and fill his belly. Then he could do the much more relaxing and less physically demanding, task of running through about twenty to thirty katas. First thing though, he didn't plan on moving one single solitary inch until he was called for dinner. It had been a trying experience, and frankly he'd earned a little downtime.
There was just one problem.
"What do you mean Kasumi isn't back yet?"
"Well, I don't know what's keeping her," Akane said. "She was just going out to the Butcher to pick up some pork. She really should be back by now." She looked at his face, and smiled. "Oh, don't be so worried about her. Dad's already gone off to see what's keeping her, so she's sure to be alright."
Ranma knew that already. Whatever was keeping Kasumi was almost certainly nothing truly all that bad or dreadful. She was the kind of girl you just went out of your way to do nice things around, whatever your disposition. No, he was quite certain about her safety, but even if she wasn't then he had some pity to spare for whoever was responsible. Soun happened to be both a very protective father and a trained martial artist.
No, that look of concern wasn't reserved for Kasumi. It was reserved for one of the few parts of his body not yet punished by the meeting; His taste buds.
In confirmation of his concern, Akane shrugged and said "Since Kasumi is taking so long, I'd better make the dinner myself! What would you like?"
Thinking fast, he looked around the room. Eventually, his gaze fell just behind Akane towards the ground. "Oh, hey P-Chan! Where did you get lost this time?"
"P-Chan?" Akane said as she turned around, anxious to see her oft missing pet, "Where've you be- Huh? Ranma, P-Chan isn't the-"
As she turned back to look at the now empty couch, underneath the anger and frustration she felt ever so slightly impressed with how quickly and how silently he'd managed to get out of the house and scale the outer wall.
Five minutes later, he was outside Uchans. He might have gone to the Cat Cafe, but there was always a risk Shampoo or Mousse would try something. And frankly, he wasn't in the mood to play today. This was the much better option; except for the fact that it seemed to be closed for some reason. A cursory check revealed that the door hadn't been locked. But the sign out front had been switched around, and he couldn't see Ukyo anywhere through the windows. Well, if the door wasn't locked then she was probably still in. He opened the door, and tread lightly inside looking left and right for any sign of why she might have closed up. But it was strange. Something was missing from the room, aside, of course, from Ukyo herself.
And then, he heard it coming from behind the door at the back. It sounded like a voice, though he couldn't quite make out what they were saying. He crept up to the door, taking care to step over a damp patch near the counter, and approached the door.
"Uchan? That you in there?"
Receiving no response, but hearing... was that a giggle from in there? Puzzled, Ranma opened the door a crack and peeked inside.
At Furinkan High School, it wasn't uncommon for a large number of rumors to be circulated about its more unusual students. Ranma Saotome was particularly subject to this, much to his own dismay. Largely, this focus was due to three factors. His martial arts skill was the first and was an attention he enjoyed. He had always been a gifted athlete, and worked hard to maintain his incredibly high level of skill. It's only natural he'd enjoy showing off the results of that hard work.
The second factor was the amount of female attention he'd gathered. This, he enjoyed a good deal less. The boys of his class constantly peppered him with questions about what it was like to be pursued by four girls that were - in their very own special ways - well into the "sexy" part of the graph curve. The only reply he'd been able to give that succinctly summarized his thoughts and feelings on this particular matter was just a single word. Painful.
Quite often, the second factor led very nicely into the third source of attention he received. Those interested in his curse. He rather despised this as a source of attention since it invariably boiled down to extremely perverted questions or lines of conversation.
However, what was interesting was when the last two factors combined together. Many of the boys were concerned when it became readily apparent that Ranma had not - nor had any intention - of trying to do anything with the girls that were pursuing him. Why could that be? More damning, he always avoided looking at adult material whenever they snuck it in to show each other. They met up, they talked and they thought about it, stretching the very boundaries of their accumulated knowledge and experience... and eventually reached a conclusion. Ranma's curse was affecting his sex drive. It made perfect sense. After all, how could someone possibly objectify an attractive female body when their own body quite often became an attractive female figure itself? When one knows and appreciates what the fairer sex must endure as a result of firsthand experience, it must become must more difficult to inflict that on someone else! Yes, they had their answer.
It was a good working theory, and although they first intended to help Ranma get over this problem there was a quick realization that any attempts to do so would result in things getting much worse for him. This realization in no way whatsoever came about as a direct result of a Large Amount of Suffering being heaped on them at some event in the future, to the point where a faint echo of what they were enduring went back in time and gave them all a subtle warning that this was a chain of thought not worth going any further down. After all, that sort of thing just doesn't happen in real life.
In any event, they left it at that. Out of deference to a suddenly relieved Ranma they finally stopped bugging him about his paramours. They felt he'd eventually sort the issue out if they didn't interfere. And he was never the type to ask for help, even when he did need it. Eventually he'd snap out of it, and start having some fun!
The problem is; they were completely wrong. If Ranma was truly tormented by how boys viewed his girl form, why would he so readily use it to flirt for free food out of guys? Why would he dress up as a bunny girl during his fight with Mousse? In truth, there was another, simpler reason that had nothing to do with his curse. Affection freaked him out.
Ranma had never been an intimate person, largely due to his father's own gruff nature. Whereas a kiss or hand holding may mean a romantic gesture to one person, such a symbol of affection meant something completely different to Ranma Saotome. It had the same effect on his brain as pouring lava into his ears might. Because he'd never really had affection shown to him, he simply didn't understand what to do when someone expressed it to him. The very idea of an act of physical affection was such an alien idea for him. To him, it meant leaving oneself completely open and vulnerable to another person. And all of his life, he'd fought against weakness and vulnerabilities in all of its various forms. How else could he be the best?
So with all that said. It should be fairly obvious why, when confronted with what lay inside of the storage room, Ranma's brain took a flying leap backwards. Not only was he seeing two people involved in an extremely intimate pose, clearly enjoying them selves. Not only that, but those two people happened to be two very annoying pests that had irritated him a great deal in the past. The very thought of Tsubasa, with his hand there as Azusa was... it just didn't seem physically possible to bend that way! And the noises! Oh, the noises they were making! That voice he was hearing faintly earlier on entering the building, he could now recognize perfectly for what it was.
He closed the door, slowly, and turned around. His right eye had developed a nervous tick. "Nope, Uchan isn't in there! No sir." A loud moan came through the door. "I can't imagine why I would possibly make that mistake! " he shouted, as the tick got worse. "There's obviously no-one in there! Hahahaha! "
And so, he walked off, laughing maniacally all the while. However, it was a most unusual walk. His legs stayed perfectly straight, and rather than moving them forward, he rolled on his heels to the side before swinging one leg forward in front of the other. Perhaps his brain was busy attempting to reject the memory it was in the process of creating as an act of sanity preservation. Who can tell the reason? But there it was. He simply didn't see the wet patch on the floor that he'd previously stepped over. As his foot set firmly into the very middle of the patch, his foot slipped off the ground and his entire body heaved backwards, causing him to land heavily on the floor.
This had been a bad day after all, Ukyo reasoned. Any day that featured Tsubasa prominently was a pretty bad one it had to be said. That was her general rule. But today, it was bad even for a Tsubasa Day. Not least of which, she'd been sick on the floor due to imagining Tsubasa and that girl...
She clutched her stomach as it started to turn and gurgle violently, before making a dash for the bathroom. Just as she reached for the handle to the room, she stopped and leaned against the door while breathing heavily.
"Alright," she sighed. "It's getting better. It settled before I even touched the door this time."
But still, that didn't solve her problem. What was she to do? She couldn't very well just lock them in the store and leave. And she certainly couldn't have any customers in while they were... She headed for the bathroom again, and then stopped after just two steps.
"Phew, definitely getting some control over that reflex." She mopped her brow with a damp cloth. The concentration required to keep this level of control was difficult to maintain.
So, here she was. Trapped in her own shop, and forced to keep it closed, with nothing to do but wait.
"I can't imagine why I would possibly make that mistake! "
She blinked, and looked down. That sounded like...
"There's obviously no-one in there! Hahahaha! "
That was Ranma! What was he doing here?! This was the worst possible time for him to show up! She damn near flew down those stairs, and heard a crash as she reached the bottom step, just in time to see him land hard on the floor.
"Ranma! Are you alright?"
He sat up and shook his head before turning to look at Ukyo.
"Huh? Oh, Uchan. You were upstairs?"
"Never mind that! You're not hurt or anything, are you?"
That tick was starting to worry her. Especially with how it seemed to be occurring in time to the sounds coming from the- "Hurk!" No, no, wait... I've got it... I'm fine. How about you? Are you... um..."
She stared at the spot Ranma had slipped on, now that he'd stood up. That couldn't be it, could it? Was that the reason? But why? What did that even mean?
A hand waved in front of her face. "Hey, never mind me. You okay? You sort of zoned out for a moment."
"I-I'm fine. Really. It's nothing you need to wor-"
She never got to finish that sentence as a loud shriek emanated from the storage room. It was too high pitched for most, but those with a discerning ear could distinctly hear that she was giving a loud and positive response to some question they hadn't heard asked. Ukyo almost doubled over, as Ranma's eyes twitched so badly that he appeared to be caught in mid wink.
"L-look, I'm sorry Ranma. Could you please leave? This isn't a v-very good time right now."
Ranma sighed. "Alright Uchan, if you're sick I should probably just let you rest up. But really, you should lock your door if you're closed! The weirdest people might just walk right in."
And with that, he left. Ukyo decided that her life might be a fair bit healthier if she invested in some earplugs.
But first, she looked at the empty spot on the floor where Ranma's head had landed. It wasn't always empty, of course. In fact, just half an hour ago, there was a-
"Nah, couldn't be. That couldn't be why I had to move that stool. That just doesn't make sense!"
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(Posted Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:51)
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