Text-Based 1/2 - Gold: Screams on a Plane [Episode 222365]

by Red Priest of the 17th Order

Sigh... all right, all right. Fine. Let’s just skip to the plane ride.

THAT’S NOT SO BAD.

Transitional Sequence Loading...
Scene Loaded.

After a half an hour drive from the forest to the city, you find yourself on a plane flying towards the Philippines.

“So, first time flying without mallet-assistance?” Britanny asks, walking over to your seat.

NOD HEAD AND SAY: YEAH, IT’S A LOT MORE PEACEFUL AND I DON'T HAVE THE DREAD OF COMING DOWN AND HITTING THE GROUND ON ME.

You nod. “Yeah, it’s a lot more peaceful and I don’t have the dread of coming down and hitting the ground on me.”

“I’d imagine.” Britanny replies as she sits down next to you. She had her choice of the rather empty plane but with Bri working in the back, she was bored.

SAY: SO YOU’RE MARRIED?

You eye the woman’s ring curiously. “So, you’re married?”

“YEP!” She flashes you a beaming smile as she holds up her right hand, showing off her ring. “Happily, might I add. Muffin and I are still settling in but we’re trying to conceive our firstborn. We both talked and want kids, at least one for starters.”

SAY: I WISH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND THE BEST OF LUCK.

You cock your head and smile, genuinely telling her, “I wish you and your husband the best of luck.”

“Thanks! Heheheh!” The werecheetah giggles to herself, pleased with life. As she calms, she smiles warmly at you.

SAY: DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOUR HUSBAND?

Watching the werecheetah calm down from her thoughts of her loving husband, you curiously ask, “Do you have a photo of your husband?”

Hearing your request, the woman smiles. “Mmmyep!” Reaching into her pocket/inventory, she whips out one for you to see. As it is a Bromide, you see Stryyp sleeping in bed, limbs flayed out around him. It’s obvious he’s completely naked with a heavy case of morning wood; the only decency he has being the thin silk blanket that is tenting upwards and showing an outline of his erection quite clearly.

SAY: UH... NICE MAN YOU GOT THERE. MAN, I FEEL THAT’S GOING TO GIVE ME SOME ISSUES.

Ain’t that the truth!

“Uh...” you stare at the Bromide in shock. “Nice man you got there. Man, I feel that’s going to give me some issues...” you say in all seriousness, starting to feel inadequate.

The werecheetah stares at you curiously, surprised by your reaction. “Huh?” She asks before turning the Bromide to herself. “GAH!” She cries before she places the naughty picture back into her inventory, blushing madly. “Oops! That was from my personal snap-shot collection. Sorry,” she apologizes, giggling nervously.

Well at least her embarrassment could be counted as some sort of compensation. If I’m not mistaken, most of the girls you know would whack you upside the head, despite something being their fault.

NO SHIT!

SAY: UH, I WON’T TELL IF YOU WON’T.

Getting over your shock at seeing Kryn Beefcake, you tell the woman, “Uh, I won’t tell if you won’t.” A very truthful statement, as you do not want to think about how he’s got a better build than you do at the moment.

HEY!!

Am I wrong?

...SADLY, NO...

I thought as much.

Britanny looks relieved with what you told her. “Thanks. Damn though, I never thought I’d do something so absentminded. I mean, that’s Gina’s territory!”

Yet, before you can say anything, the plane shakes with an audible *WOOSH*!!

WHAT WAS THAT?

Here’s a hint: Troooouuubbaaaaal...

Encounter! Loading Battle Sequence...

OH COME ON! ALL THE WAY UP HERE!?

You’d be surprised where you could find battle.

Battle Sequence Loaded.

Britanny looks out the window to see if she can figure out what’s going on. She blinks her eyes and asks, “Was that a fighter jet?"

The door to the back of the plane flies open as Brianna strides up towards you and her sister. As she makes herself up the walkway, she shouts, “Alex! Did you piss off the U.S. Military or something!? That’s an F22 on our asses!”

“F22!?” You hear a third female voice shout up from the front of the plane. “Son of a bitch! Not this joker again!” She curses angrily.

GET OUT OF SEAT AND FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON.

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you get up from your seat and begin to follow Brianna up to the cockpit. Understandably, Britanny follows yourlead, not wanting to be left out.

As you make it up front, you see another female feline Lycanthrope decked in an aviator’s outfit sitting in the pilot’s seat. She’s a Siberian weretigress; white fur with black stripes, contrasted with a length of sky-blue hair. Brianna presses up against the back of the chair and asks, “What is it? Nightflight?”

SAY: WAIT! JUST WHO IS NIGHTFLIGHT?

Blinking your eyes at the blonde eye-striped woman’s question, you remark with your own inquiry. “Wait! Just who is Nightflight?”

“To answer that,” Alex replies, “They’re a group, not a single person. And it isn’t them! This is another jerk who has it out for me because I out-flew him!”

Britanny raises an eyebrow. “You out-flew them? Why and how?” She was curious as to how the Siberian Weretigress had brought such an enemy upon them.

SAY: ALL RIGHT. SO WHO IS AFTER US THEN?

You nod your head. “All right,” you say in acceptance before urging to know, “So who is after us then?”

The woman is quiet for a moment. Finally turning to get a good look at her three passengers, she asks, “Would you believe an alien robot?”

SAY: WHAT!?

You blink your eyes once, twice, your mind trying to process what you’ve been told. Finally, you scream, “....WHAT!?”

“HUH!?” Britanny shouts out, her expression mimicking your own.

Oddly enough, Brit’s sister seems the calmest about the situation. “An alien-robot... okay been there, done that...” Brianna mutters. Given their weird encounters, she felt this was something one could expect once in awhile. “So you’re saying he’s pissed because you out-flew him?”

“Yep,” the tiger-woman replies. “I also stopped him from doing a bombing run which saved his enemies. That apparently got his boss pissed at him, so now he’s pissed at me!” Alex sighs, slumping forward in her seat. “And he picks to attack when I’m in my plane that ISN’T equipped with weapons!”

Over Alex's radio, you can hear, ‘Zardon Rules, Catgirls Drool, suckas’! Followed by evil laughter and the plane shaking rather violently.

ACK! DO SOMETHING!

Like what? Sorry to say, I just help you through the story.

FINE. BUT WHEN DID ALIEN ROBOTS FACTOR INTO THIS!?

Blame the God-mods!

HEY! NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

But you just DID!!

Alex flips a switch on her radio. “Since when did you route for Zardons, Screamer?”

The radio crackles with the reply of ‘I flew by a quaint burg called Quagmire a while back. It was catchy. But enough of that! I now I have you, fleshling’!

Alex frowns. “Hey! Can’t you at least attack me when I’m NOT carrying passengers!?”

“What's the best human phrase... oh yes...” At that the F22 flies parallel to Alex’s plane and panels shift, transform and expand as what was once a jet is now revealed to a robot warrior. It grabs the large carrier cargo plane. "NO!" It shouts loud enough for you to hear from

Staring out the window, Brianna whistles. Realization hits her like a sack of bricks as to what they’re dealing with. “Hey! That’s one of the robots from awhile back at... uh...” She snaps her fingers a few times as she thinks. “Mission City! Ha! I won our bet; Penny owes me now! I just knew it was a cover up!” The Lycanthropoid proclaims.

SAY: HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM WHEN AN ALIEN DEATH-MACHINE HAS US!?

Turning to look at the tall blonde with a shocked expression on your face, you shriek, “How can you be so calm when an alien death-machine has us!?”

“Oh because this is where I excel!” She shouts, her eyes gleaming with joy at the prospects of battle and big booms. “Alex, distract him! Keep that robot yaking on the horn!” She rushes back into the back cargo bay.

“Gloat later, Bri,” the werecheetah shouts as she presses onto the side wall of the cockpit. “Gloat when we survive!”

I hope you survive. Man, that would suck for you to die without it being your own fault whatsoever... then you’ll have to restart the game and-

HELP ME!!

Can’t. I’m-

I KNOW, I KNOW! YOU’RE NOT A ‘CHEAT FAQ’! BUT THAT WON’T HELP YOU IF I DON’T PICK UP THIS GAME AGAIN!

...You wouldn’t. No one has the will to leave Text Based!

HELLO! EVERQUEST? WORLD OF WARCRAFT? FINAL FANTASY XI?

...Fine, fine. I’ll help you. But just this once! Go into the back and pull up a paneling from the right side towards the ceiling. You should find something... interesting.

LET’S GO!!

A sudden and rather unfamiliar look of intelligence comes over your face, as if you understood what the situation called for. Running from the cockpit, you make your way back into the cargo area where the Lycanthropoid is quickly putting together her power armor. Looking around, you desperately search until you find what you’re looking for. Pulling apart a panel from the wall, you takes out a very powerful pulse rifle; a weapon that was being smuggled by the original owner of this plane but had been lost when the IRS Repossessed the plane for unpaid back-taxes and ended up in Alex’s possession.

WOAH... DAMN NICE!

Be careful. You only have one shot.

Brianna looks at up from where she is assembling a power armor and stares at you with shock and awe in her eyes. “What the hell? WE HAVE A GAUSS-PULSE RIFLE!?”

“Whoops! Forgot I had that!” Alex calls back from the cockpit, sounding rather sheepish.

“Bring me the rifle, Ranma! That may be our ticket-” Brianna is cut off, screaming as the sides of the plane buckle. Steadying herself, she shouts, “And make it snappy! I think he’s CRUSHING US!” She tells you urgently.

GIVE HER THE RIFLE!

Rushing through the damaged plane, you practically thrust the rifle into the Lycanthropoid’s hands.

I HOPE THIS WORKS!!

I hope it does too.

WHAT? NOW WAIT A MOMENT! I GAVE HER THE RIFLE! ISN’T THAT WHAT SAVES US?

Not necessarily. Factors like who takes the shot, when they take it, and from where really do take effect into success rate and story progression.

CRAP!

I’d suggest saying a few prayers to any kami you actually follow. If no religious denomination, then may I suggest placing your head between your legs and kissing your ass goodbye?

...I THINK I JUST MIGHT.

Wise man.

Brianna cocks the rifle and puts a connector tube from her armor into the rifle’s power slot. She then goes to the very back of the plane and hooks a tether line to a cable near the bay doors. She then turns to look at you, warning, “You might want to go back and buckle up! I’m opening the hatch!”

DO IT!

Ranma jumps back to his seat and buckles up and grabs the seat; Britanny already back and buckled in firmly. The woman holds a death-grip on her arm-rests.

SAY: DOES YOUR SISTER KNOW WHAT SHE’S DOING?

Turning to your fellow passenger, you plead to know, “Does your sister know what she’s doing?”

Looking into your eyes, she tells you, “I sure hope so!”

“I HEARD THAT!” Brianna snaps as she pops the back cargo hatch and leans out onto the door using the tether to keep from being sucked out. She aims at the robot, hoping her shot will make the mark. “Okay... here’s hope that’s a vital spot... GO!” She roars as she fires a blue energy pulse from the rifle that hits the robot in his back extremities... if he has any.

The robot’s body fizzles as electricity races throughout his body “S-S-S-S-S-SLAAAAAAAAAAG!!” He screams before he seizes up. His servoes letting go of the plane, he falls off, screaming, “I’LL REMEMBER THIS FLESHLINGS!! SO SAYS STARSCREA-”

*KER-SPLASH*!

“BOOYAH!” Brianna crows in victory. “Ain’t no-one as bad as a gun as I am!”

THANK YOU, SWEET JESUS!

Ah ha! So you are Christian!

...NOT REALLY. HE'S JUST THE ONLY RELIGION I REALLY KNOW OF, THANKS TO THE MISSIONARIES POPS HAD ME STEALING FROM.

...How the hell do you NOT have “Extremely Bad Karma” as part of your inventory?

I GAVE IT AWAY?

...Oi...

Shutting the plane hatch after she gets in, Brianna shucks off the armor and puts the rifle away. “Phew! Good thing we had this thing,” she said as she looks at you. “I didn’t have any EMP stuff on me that wouldn’t have fried the plane too.”

Even though your group has survived, Alex silently weeps. “He ruined my Betty’s paintjob... and part of her hull... and...” she groans. “Looks like we’ll have a delay once we reach the Philippines.”

SAY: A DELAY?

You look at her with a surprised expression. “A delay?” You ask with a bit of worry.

The Siberian weretigress nods her head. “Well, yeah. When he started crushing us he caused a bits of wiring and paneling to come loose and he damaged a fuel tank. I don’t think we’re going to run out before we land but we’re likely going to need three days of repair time.”

“THREE DAYS!?” Brianna screams. “Shit, shit, shit! Gina is going to be SO pissed with us!” She curses, not looking forward to having to tell her oldest sister that Ryan was likely SOL.

Having made her way from her seat, Britanny walks up to and pats her sister on the shoulder. “There, there sis. She won’t be mad with you. It’s not your fault. We’ll just have to make some calls and see about having some of our other friends save Ryan until we can give assistance.”

Brianna just continued to have a sour look on her face.

SAY: AT LEAST YOU WON A BET WITH PENNY.

Walking up to your savior, you gently tell her, “At least you won a bet with Penny.”

Oddly enough, that makes the blonde Lycanthropoid perk up. “That’s right! And if I had my camera on,” she brings a hand to the side of her head, an image appearing on her visor for her viewing. “HELL YES! Oh, Penny is so going to have to supply me with that depleted uranium now!”

SAY: DUH-DEPELETED URANIUM?"

You raise an eyebrow and nervously ask with a small stutter, “Duh-depleted uranium?”

The werecheetah decides to field this question. “Bri’s a tech-head, in case if you haven’t noticed.” Britanny said as she waves a hand. She then shakes her head and mumbles, “Shit. I was looking forward to some quality time with Muffin.”

Turning her head to look at her sister, the blonde retorted, “Uh, hello sis! Ryan’s in jeopardy or have you forgotten?”

“I didn’t say when we got home, I meant after! Sheesh!” The werecheetah rolls her eyes. “Ah well. Thank God I can call collect. I’ll have to tell Muffin what's going on.”

“I know the guys who run the airfield we’ll be landing at. They can help us get a good place to stay at while the repairs are going down,” Alex offers.

SAY: HEY, ALEX! WHAT’S YOUR STORY WITH THE ROBOT? I MEAN, AN EXPLANATION WITH A LITTLE MORE DETAIL WOULD BE NICE.

You turn your attention to the plane-turned-aerial jalopy’s pilot “Hey, Alex! What’s your story with the robot? I mean, an explanation with a little more detail would be nice.”

“You mean Screamer?” Alex asks. When she sees you not your head, she answers, “I came across him and his buddies attacking the none-bad guy robots. Understandably, I fired a missile at his ass and he didn’t like it much. It ruined his bombing run and let this little yellow guy shoot him up.” Alex shrugs her shoulders. “He’s been sore at me ever since and I swear that freak is stalking me.”

SAY: I HAVE A FEELING THERE’S MORE TO THIS THAN MEETS THE EYE.

Transformers! Robots in disguise!

A serious look comes over your face. “I have a feeling there’s more to this than meets the eye.”

“You ain’t just whistling Dixie,” Alex said, letting out a sigh. A curious look comes over her face. “Look, we’re going to be there for a few days. Is it all right if I hang out with you guys? I’m pretty good with my fluency in Chinese... so if you guys need a translator.”

I’d go for it if I were you. Remember Genma relying on the ‘pretty pictures’ that were in the Jusenkyo Brochure rather than finding someone who could read it for him?

...

Well?

NOD VIGORIOUSLY AND SAY: PLEASE!

Doing a pretty damned good impression of a bobble-head doll, you tell the white furred feline Lycan, “Please!”

The werecheetah of the group is in agreement. “Yeah. Gina’s the bi-linguist, not me.” Britanny replies as she nods her head in an affirmative motion.

“Yeah, I’d saw we go for it. Gina learned Chinese AFTER I was born,” Brianna mutters, mostly to herself, although you catch her say it.

SAY: THE AYES HAVE IT! YOU’RE COMING WITH US.

“The ayes have it!” You proclaim as you smile at the pilot. “You’re coming with us!

Alex lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

Congratulations! Alex has joined your party!

CHECK ALEX’S INVENTORY.

Alex is currently carrying:

Aviator's Outfit (Work)
Krav Maga
Mad Flight Skillz
Plane Maintenance Knowledge
Lycanthrope Abilities (Shape-Shifting, Strength, Speed, Regeneration, etc)
Wallet (3,200 Yen, 3 Major Credit Cards, 1 Pilot's License)
Exotic Beauty
Suppressed Hormones
Caged Libido
1 KA-BAR Combat Knife
1 Browning 9x19mm Hi-Power Grande Puissance
4 Pistol Cartridges
4 Bromides of Alex

SHE CARRIES BROMIDES OF HERSELF?

Well yes. She has to make money outside of flying when there’s no business somehow. She sometimes has to send in pictures to magazines...

...WHAT KIND OF MAGAZINES?

The kind that often have eight pages of naughty phone-sex hotline number advertisements.

MY... BRAIN... MUST... REBOOT... REBOOT!

Your on fault for not making a Save File...

“Hey, Ranma! You okay?” Brianna waves a hand over your face, checking to see if your pupils will follow the movement.

SAY: HUH? OH SORRY, JUST GOT DISTACTED BY MY THOUGHTS.

You blink your eyes once, twice. “Huh? Oh sorry,” you apologize as you shake your head. “Just got distracted by my thoughts...”

Not like you have much in the way of thoughts to begin with anyway...

HEY!

With the crisis averted, Britanny relaxes a bit, lowering her guard. She then asks the pilot, “So what’s this base we’re landing at like?”

Alex looks over her shoulder. “Pretty laid back and the locals are nice. Plus, we’ll be near one of the nicer beaches.”

“Beaches?” Brianna asks curiously.

Alex nods her head. “It’s going to take me time but I’ll be able to get my plane into the borders of the Philippine Islands. While I only have enough fuel left to make it to the main Northern Island, it’s more than enough. Thanks to previous clearance and when I call in our emergency status,” she picks up her com end of the radio. “I’ll be able to bring my plane down at the Laoag International Airport, which also happens to be the primary airport of the Philippines.”

SAY: NEAT. WHAT ELSE?

“Neat,” you say, trying to get in on the conversation. “What else?”

She then continues to explain. “Well, as the name suggests, this area of the Philippines is heavy with Laotian, a Southeastern Asia country that borders China and India. So while yes, you will be hearing a lot of traditional Chinese, you may just see a few Indian immigrants as well in this city that is a mix of both the best and the worst the Philippines has to offer. The most technologically advanced of the islands thanks to the tourism but it’s also home to the highest poverty level. So it might be best to stick to the resort area.”

Hearing all the Siberian weretigress had to say, “Noted.”

NOD AND AGREE WITH BRITANNY.

“Ditto times two,” you chirrup.

Once out of her armor, the younger of the Diggers sisters speaks up. “How long until we get there?” Brianna asks of the pilot.

“Less than an hour.” Alex replies as she watches the control panel of her plane. “We should have enough fuel but... I can see the pressure gauge for it dropped quite a bit so this is just an estimation.” She sighs. “Worse comes to worse, we’ll make it but the turbines are going to seize up after we land, which means they would have to be replaced as well.”

Yep. She’s a keeper. She’ll do well in Gina’s absence.

REALLY. SHE’S VERY SMART.

No, she’s just learned certain skill sets from her time in the US Air-Force. While she might not be a genius like Gina or even Bri, she has a number of talents and common sense.

“More repair time?” Britanny asks, getting the sinking feeling that this will further sink her into an unwanted span of time away from her husband.

“More repair time,” Alex nods her head in affirmation.

Her arms draping over the secondary cockpit sear, Brianna leans over the copilot chair. “All right then. So concerning the night life... anything good?”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Depends what your looking for?”

Grinning, Brianna replies, “Fun.”

“Define ‘fun’...” the Siberian weretigress inquires further.

Her smile on proportion with a Cheshire cat’s, the tall blonde explains, “Manwichy fun.”

The striped feline Lycan’s eyes narrow as she considers it. “Depends.”

“Oh geeze, Bri...” Britanny groans, wondering how her sister could be thinking about sex or other similar ways to vent while being on a forced vacation in what bordered on being classified as a third-world country.

“Hey!” The younger Diggers shouts. “Not everyone has a husband or an untold number or wannabe suitors.” Brianna remarks with an annoyed tone of voice.

SAY: BELIEVE ME. I DON’T WANT ANY OF THE WANNABE SUITORS I HAVE. THEY’RE ALL CRAZY!

To try and ease Brianna’s angst, you tell her, “Believe me. I don’t want any of the wannabe suitors I have. They’re all crazy!”

Raising an eyebrow, Brianna looks at you curiously. “How bad can it be?”

SAY: AXE CRAZY.

You look the woman right in the eyes. “Axe crazy.”

“Yeesh! Sorry I asked,’ She mutters looking a bit perturbed by your answer.

SAY: YEAH, THAT BAD.

You nod your head as you tell her, “Yeah, that bad.”

“I’m amazed you didn’t just run away from home on your own earlier,” Britanny says in all seriousness.

SAY: HONOR CAN MAKE YOU STUPID SOMETIMES.

You let off a heartfelt sigh as you shrug you shoulders. “Honor can make you stupid sometimes.”

The werecheetah stares at you in surprise for a moment. “That sounds like something mom would say," Britanny mumbles to herself, starting to see you in a new light.

Considering what you told her, the tall blonde can only be thankful that perhaps she doesn’t have anyone attached to her right now. “Anyway,” she speaks up, wanting to change the subject. “Alex, you didn’t answer my question. Any place we can go for the kind of fun I might need?”

The Siberian weretigress nods her head and answers, “Actually, you’d be surprised what you can find at the hotels. And that’s not even getting into the kind of bars that would cater to such needs. However, I must warn you, such things tend to be on the edges of the resort area, so you’re really bordering into seedier and more dangerous territory. Still, the safest place I’d recommend for what you might be looking for is Tanya’s.”

Britanny twitches at the name.

SAY: TANYA’S?

You raise an eyebrow and curiously ask, “Tanya’s?”

“She runs the cleanest and non-crime related bar and grill. It also has an adjacent massage parlor and a go-go bar next door,” Alex explains.

SAY: REALLY? HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS?

You nod your head in interest to all the tiger-woman answers your question. “Really? How do you know all of this?”

Blushing a bit, the woman mumbles lightly under her breath.

“What was that?” Britanny asked curiously.

Sighing, Alex replies in a louder voice, “I’ve worked there a few times.”

SAY: AT TANYA’S?

You look at Alex in a new light, tilting your head in curiousness as you ask, “At Tanya’s?”

“At Tanya’s, the Ming Dynasty Massage Parlor, and the Naughty Oriental Go-Go Bar...” she blushes harder. She tries to defend herself by saying, “Hey, it wasn’t easy making ends meet once I was kicked out of the USAF for simply being a Lycanthrope. I had to start back at the bottom and work my way up.”

Feeling for the poor woman, Britanny pats her shoulder. “Hey, it’s all right, no one’s judging you. I wasn’t an angel with boys through the latter half of high school and college.”

Brianna snickers. “No, you weren’t.”

Cheetah blushes lightly. “Oh, hush you!”

“Thanks,” Alex says gratefully. “I have to tell you, if Ace hadn’t stayed my friend and kept faith in me, I’d probably have lost myself into the scene.”

The werecheetah raises an eyebrow. “...You and Ace haven’t...?” she trails off, but the question is obvious.

“A few times in the past but waaaaaay before Kevin decided to get with his girl Penny,” Alex admits, red faced. “Friendly fuck-buddies... but I never told you that.”

The older Diggers sisters smiles. “Oh heck no, poor Ace has enough dealing with Penny. I’m not going to feed her any more ammo than she already has.” Britanny laughs.

PAT ALEX ON THE SHOULDER AND SAY: YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY. WE WON’T SAY ANYTHING AND WE’LL WATCH YOUR BACK.

Walking up to the pilot, you place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to worry,” you say calmly. “We won’t say anything and we’ll watch your back.”

Smiling, Alex brings a hand up and places it over yours. “Thank you, Ranma.”

Gain 30 Character Points for gaining full trust of two Diggers sisters.
Gain 18 Character Points for gaining trust of Alex
You have gone up a Level.
Current Player Level: 3 (Neophyte Adventurer)
Gain 34 Perversion Points for getting Alex to admit to certain aspects of herself.
You have gone up a Level.
Current Perversion Level: 2 (Inexperienced Virgin)

NEAT!

SAVE GAME

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