Kuno Tatewaki, the Shooting Comet of Furinkan High School, was in the habit of taking a constitutional every evening; it served as a light interlude in his martial practices, and permitted the peasants of the area to witness and take comfort from the presence of their protector and master. As a subsidiary virtue, it permitted him time away from his demented sibling.
In the normal way of things, he would walk only a short distance, mulling over matters of philosophy and composing poetry, before the urgent demands of his regime of practice with the sword called him back to his home. On this evening, however, he had overheard the loud and nearly incoherent babbling of a gathering of peasants, relating to one another the passage of a wild beast engaged in a chase with a young maiden. Immediately he understood the cause of the rabble’s commotion, he had thrust himself forward and demanded the direction the beast had travelled; and, once the peasants had overcome their understandable reserve on being addressed by their better he had received answers from all present. Not all of those answers had been useful, or even politely expressed; but surely a true samurai could excuse their loss of reverence in their terror.
And so now the hero of the district stalked his prey, proceeding swiftly to the shopping precinct where all the witnesses agreed that the pursuit had passed through.
“Kuno Mansion, Lady Kuno speaking,” said the voice at the other end of the line. “Ohhohoho.”
Nabiki blinked briefly. Her target had a more verbose but similarly self-important manner of introduction, and she had never had reason to call him without having first made arrangements for him to be expecting the call; it was entirely possible this was a member of the Kuno family speaking. Politely (since, as a member of the Kuno family, this woman was a potential client just like Tatewaki), Nabiki said, “Hello, I am Tendo Nabiki, a classmate of Kuno Tatewaki’s. May I speak with him?”
“My brother has departed the residence for a short while. I anticipate his return within the hour,” she was informed. After a delay, “I suppose I might take a short message for him…”
“Thank you. I was calling to ask if he would be interested in having a tiger take residence with him. I thought of him, of course, as the only person of substance of my acquaintance who might be interested in such a thing.” Nabiki’s lips curled slightly. Kuno had often referred to Akane as ‘My Beauteous Tigress’, and if he mistook her initial offer so much the better.
“Indeed,” returned the haughty voice. “How is it that you are in a position to facilitate such a transaction?”
Nabiki thought quickly, but decided to tell the truth – with certain facts omitted to suit, of course. “It attacked our home this afternoon. After my sister managed to subdue it, the authorities declined any responsibility for disposing of it, so I’m handling it myself. If your brother is unable to take possession quickly, I’m afraid I will have to expend considerable sums keeping it alive and contained until a customer can collect.”
“Indeed. Ohhohoho. Offhand, I believe my brother is unlikely to evince much interest in obtaining any creature, even one so magnificent. However, I confess my own interest is piqued by your offer – would you object to another member of the illustrious Kuno family taking custody of the beast?”
“Not in the least,” said Nabiki, thinking to herself, ‘Sold!’
“I will, of course, need to make an inspection of the beast before I seriously consider making any such purchase. I take it the creature is available for immediate viewing at your home?”
“Of course. Shall we discuss this further face-to-face?”
“Naturally. Ohhohohohoho!”
Entering the shopping precinct, the Shooting Comet slowed his pace and gripped his sword more firmly, preparing to do righteous battle. Carefully he filtered out the noise of a busy Tokyo street, substituting suitably suspenseful classical music as he sought the sounds of animal violence. Around him, he noticed the peasants drawing back against the walls and into the shops, safely away from the forthcoming battle.
A sightline opened briefly, giving him a view of a brown furred form head and shoulders taller than a man. The moment’s glance was enough for him to mark where it stood, some store with a primary-coloured sign and garish display undoubtedly retailing some plebeian accoutrement to modern life. Striding forth swiftly, the heroic samurai closed on the vicious creature, scattering the peasants in his path.
As he closed, he saw more of the monster. First the rounded ears with their satin inners. Next the huge eyes, staring fixedly and rolling oddly. Then the slavering muzzle, lined with snow-white teeth. Finally, as he trampled through the crowd of fools surrounding it, he saw its forepaw, wrapped around the head of a small girl.
“Fear not!” he cried, “For I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Magnificent Shooting Comet, am here!”
Without waiting for a response (the beast would surely not understand the precepts of Bushido, so there was no point to awaiting a counterchallenge or rebuffal), he lunged forwards making a mighty slash with his trusty weapon.
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(Posted Thu, 12 May 2011 21:55)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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