Before the sunlight even touched the ground, sounds of things being broken, cries of righteous might, and the screams of a poor young man filled the air around the Ryozanpaku dojo. Outside the dojo a man dressed in old fashioned Japanese hakama rode on an old tire tied to a pair of boulders while a bare-chested boy ran around the dojo’s wall with a larger one on his back.
“Come on Kenichi pick up the pace, you’re last lap was much faster than this,” he shouted before encouraging the teen in a much more physical way.
After feeling the crazy jujitsu master’s whip lack him in the butt, Kenichi tried to pick up the pace to avoid getting another crack. “What’s the deal with all the extra weight? You guys said Yami was going to have to rest and restructure itself now that the tournament is over. I though I was supposed to have to stop fighting people all the time!”
Akisame put away the ‘whip of encouragement’ for a moment and nodded, despite his pupil’s inability to see the action. “All that means is now we don’t have to let you keep enough strength to win fights every day,” the Japanese man with the almost white eyes told him before continuing his encouragement.
Kenichi let out a moan and picked up the pace. When he had first started coming to this place it had been because a bully at school had been ready to clobber him in a week and he wanted to learn how to defend himself. The problem was: that’s exactly what happened! He ended up beating the bully, and then a stronger one came along, and then the local gang of juvenile delinquents got interested in him, followed by their rival gang of upcoming yakuza thugs, and then a secret ninja society of killers!
“It all started so simple,” he moaned before another whip to the butt made him look back and yell at his master. “And what the hell is with these rocks? I thought I was the hopeless guy. You know, basic but effective fighting style. This kind of stuff is for a martial arts manga, not real life!”
Inside the dojo a man who looked like he’d seen too many Fist of the North Star episodes with a scar across his nose karate chopped open his morning bottle of beer, chugged it down, and then spit out the broken pieces glass that had gone into his mouth. “Blasted kid, he’d be able to do twice as much if he’d stop wasting so much breath on complaining.”
“But then he wouldn’t be Kenichi, would he Sakaki?” a busty woman with her hair tied back into a ponytail and squiggly eyebrows said to draw his attentions away from the wall, and distract him from his worries.
The karate master looked back to the woman in the dark purple ninja outfit. “Yeah, but it’d be better for him if he to grow some balls that managed to stick around for more than a few minutes.” Not wanting to continue the conversation with Shigure, Sakaki headed off to start his morning training.
“Apachai wish that Akisame would hurry up and get done with warm-up, is Apachi’s turn to train Kenichi today.”
Shigure turned to look over at the gargantuan Muay Thai boxer with the short spiky hair with her constant deadpan expression. “I thought Sakaki had him for the rest of the week.”
“He did,” the man with the child-like nature said before he started punching at thin air. “But then Apachai made a bet on winner of boxing match last night with Sakaki, and Apachai won. So now Apachai starts training Kenichi one day early!”
For a moment Shigure wondered how Sakaki had made such a mistake of making a bet against Apachai on a boxing match of all things, but she put the question aside. Despite the man’s tough exterior, Sakaki was probably the second softest person in the whole dojo behind the equally large man from Taiwan. He’d probably just done it to make Apachai happy.
“Well, good luck with that,” the kunochi said before turning around to walk off.
A second before she heard the sound of a camera’s shutter closing, Shigure spun around to throw a trio of shuriken and a pair of kunai towards the crawlspace under the dojo’s floor. A few seconds later a man in green Chinese clothes and a western hat came out from the area Shigure had just launched her weapons into with a blur of movement. The old man scratched his mustache with one finger and held up his camera in the other to take a picture of the ninja’s rack. “Morning Shigure, you’re looking as healthy as ever.”
“Hi Kensei,” Apachai greeted with a raised hand, seemingly oblivious to what was about to happen between the Chinese and Japanese martial artists.
“It’s a digital camera,” Shigure said as she reached behind herself for the sword on her back. “You could at least turn the shutter sound off.”
The old lecher looked up from the miniature image on the camera after fiddling with it to change from the one of her boobs that he had just captured, to the one take earlier that showed a great deal of the space between the ninja’s legs. “Yes, but you know how us old people are with today’s modern technology. By the way, I see you’re back to wearing the pink panties. Any particular reason for the change?”
Back at the gate, Kenichi and Akisame finally came through the compound’s entrance in time to see Shigure chase Kensei onto the roof with that cold and murderous look in her eyes. The sweaty young man lumbered over to the back of the dojo where Sakaki usually hung out and somewhat unenthusiastically announced he was ready for today’s lesson.
Through with his student for now, Akisame headed over to Apachai. “So, have you seen the Elder? I’m supposed to go shopping this morning since Miu and Ranma are still away.”
“Old man in back of dojo today,” the bigger man said before calling over to their only remaining disciple. “Kenichi good news! Apachai get to training you day early! Don‘t worry! We also pick up level of training since you graduated!”
After Kenichi got done screaming in horror, Akisame thanked Apachai and let him chase the boy down.
“Come on, I thought we were done fighting for right now,” Kenichi yelled.
As he carried Kenichi back towards the back yard on his shoulder, the man explained his reasoning to the younger fighter. “Yes, but now you is too dangerous to be letting go out into world now. We must make sure you not accidentally kill someone in a fight.”
“So wait, now you’re working on control and restraint?” Kenichi asked with un unbelieving tone. Apachai was the least restrained person in the entire dojo! At least it didn’t sound too hard to learn. “That’s it? Then I can go enjoy some time off?”
“Yes! And do not worry Kenichi,” Apachai assured him. “When Apachai finished, you will definitely kill someone in a fight!”
“HOW IS THAT RESTRAINT?” Kenichi yelled, although it didn’t seem Apachai heard him.
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(Posted Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:38)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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