“Now that the majority of the Alliance is out of school and needing to earn a living, we have to start turning a profit as a group!” Niijima announced before he pulled out a remote control and pressed a button. A giant flat-screen lowered from the ceiling to display the Shinpaku logo.
Kisara raised her hands in a ‘time out’ signal. “Hold on a second. Just who’re you to talk about us being the ones needing to earn money, you don‘t even have a job, and you don‘t really do anything at all except boss us around!”
“That’s called management!” Niijima countered angrily.
“I have something else to solve the long-term financial crisis, but the short-term answer to this problem came to me just yesterday.” After clearing his throat, Niijima got back on track and pressed his controller’s on button. “Introducing the Shinpaku Alliance Martial Artist Bounty Hunting Plan!”
Seeing where this was going, Ranma let his head fall onto the table. “Oh Lord.”
Kenichi blinked at Niijima’s display that showed a bad picture of a ninja being handcuffed by a policeman, while another one was handing a distorted mini-Niijima a sack with a large dollar sign on it. “This can’t be good.”
Ignoring the comments of the Idiot and Weak-Knees, Niijima continued on. “In this world, the only thing that can handle a troublesome martial artist is another martial artist! Therefore, the Shinpaku Alliance will offer its services to the law enforcement community in order to collect the sizable rewards.”
Tanimoto was the one to break the silence. “…Wow, I didn’t think my opinion of you could get any lower, but you actually expect us to go after Yami for the price on their heads so you can get money?”
“DON’T BE STUPID!” Niijima shouted before throwing his remote at Ragnarok’s former Hermit; which was easily caught. “I WOULDN’T TOUCH THOSE GUYS WITH A TEN-FOOT POLE NO MATTER WHAT THE PRICE!”
Once he regained his composure, Niijima had a minion retrieve his remote and pressed it to display the next slide. “However, there are several other more… annoying people who’re wanted by the police and can’t be bothered with by the likes of those guys in Ryozanpaku. That’s who we’ll target!
“With my information network we’ll easily ferret them out and turn Shinpaku into a money making industry! Then, once we become known, we’ll be able organize other jobs as bodyguards, security to important artifacts and events! The possibilities are endless!” Niijima announced before throwing back his head and letting out an evil cackle.
From there they could expand with Shinpaku merchandise, action figures, and even a movie deal!
As much as he hated giving the man a reason to continue, Tanimoto was intrigued enough to learn a little more. He was always one who looked for interesting opponents to improve his skills. “What do you mean by ‘annoying’ people?”
Shaking off his visions of the future, Niijima looked over to him. “Oh, these guys aren’t like Yami and YOMI. Although they’re martial artists, all they really do is go around breaking things, stealing stuff, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. For the most part, the injuries done seem to be accidental. Still, massive property damage, theft, and reckless endangerment are crimes. So the police have put out warrants for their arrest thanks to the multitude of instances. But because no one can actually get the job done, no one really tries anymore from what I‘ve heard.”
Kisara blinked and looked over to Niijima with a disappointed expression. “So, all we’re doing is beating up a few delinquents and handing them over to the cops?”
“Pretty much, although some are a little old for that term,” he mumbled before pressing a button on his remote.
The screen changed to a picture of an older man with long black hair and a moustache of the same color.
Name: Soun Tendo
Age: 49
Wanted For: Armed robbery, breaking and entering, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer, and destruction of public property
Current Location: Unknown
Reward: 500,000 yen
Ranma lifted his head long enough to take a look, groaned at the confirmation of that bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, and then put his head back down on the table. Why did I have to end up bringing him along that day?
“Armed robbery?” Thor asked. “What kind of martial artist does that?”
Niijima blinked and looked back at the charges. “Well, from what I understand, the people in that section of Tokyo have really cracked down on martial arts criminals. Since the body is a weapon, they can be charged that way even when all they have is their fists.”
“I’m kind of torn between agreeing with it out of my martial artist pride, and being mad at it because it just sounds… wrong,” Renka mumbled. But, how many times had she seen that fact proven?
Niijima coughed into his hand to end the discussion before they could get off topic. “It’s not just old guys though,” he said before changing the screen.
The next picture was of a Chinese girl with bright blue hair done up in a bun style on top with the rest flowing down her back.
Name: Xian Pu
Age: 19
Wanted For: Breaking and entering, illegal immigration, assault, destruction of public property, and reckless endangerment
Current Location: Unknown
Reward: 800,000 yen
When all eyes in the room turned to Renka, she frowned. “Hey! Why’s everyone looking at me for?” the girl demanded while her two tails of hair swished up and down.
“Well… you’re Chinese… she’s Chinese… don’t you guys all hang out in the same place, or something?” Takeda asked. They had a whole part of Tokyo named after them for crying out loud! It wasn't official, but still...
“NO!” Renka shouted. “She’s not even really Chinese! Amazons like her are practically a completely different nationality and culture.”
Despite his common sense telling him to shut the hell up, just get under the table, and sneak out, Ranma found himself asking the obvious question. “Wait, you know about Amazons?”
Renka held up her two tails of dark blue hair. “News flash, this isn’t dye! My great grandmother on Mom’s side was an Amazon that got kicked out of her tribe for something stupid. I think a tiger killed the herd of sheep she was supposed to be guarding or something. Grandma told all these weird stories about her mom when I was a… wait a minute…”
(-Renka Flashback-)
“Hey I’m Renka!” the girl said as she raised a hand in greeting to the boy her father brought with him this time. He was cute but, she had her heart set on Kenichi already, It was his loss really.
She saw him look at her hair, the bells in her hair, and then her dress. However, before she could pound him for tracking a peek at her cleavage, he was on the floor and rocking himself back and forth in a fetal position while mumbling to himself just loud enough to hear. “It’s Shampoo all over again. It’s Shampoo all over again. It’s Shampoo all over again.”
(-And later at Ryozanpaku-)
As the boy who stole her heart quickly moved out the door before she could get a lock on him, Renka started to give chase. At least, until a little she noticed something dangling in front of her face and took after it instead. “Nya!”
Miu just laughed at the girl as she tried to grab the end of the little plant that she was swinging back and forth. “Wow, she really does act like a cat, huh Ranma?… eh, Ranma?”
“It’s Shampoo all over again…” the boy continued to repeat to himself while in the fetal position on the dojo’s floor.
(-Shinpaku-)
Renka looked at the name of the Chinese girl, then back to Ranma. Judging by the fact that he was lightly bashing his head into the table while Miu patted him on the back and saying it was okay with an extremely confused expression that said she had no clue whatsoever what was going on, it was obvious that Ranma knew her.
But, from what Renka knew, the only reason an Amazon would be interested in a man was… “OH MY GOD! THAT GIRL'S YOU’RE WIFE!”
Niijima blinked. “Eh?”
“Huh?” Kenichi mumbled.
“WHAAAA?” Kisara yelled with her hands put up in front of her.
Takeda choked on his grass.
Siegfried let out a gasp. “Inspiration! A new symphony, I shall call it… The Two-Timing, Sex-Changing Dope!” he said, and then pulled out a quill to start writing on some handy music sheets.
“What?”
Oh crap, Ranma managed to think. Before he could try and escape, Ranma was slammed down onto the table face first and pinned there by an inhuman amount of force on top of his back.
Kenichi quickly let out a girlish scream and jumped into Renka’s arms. “Miu is scary. Miu is scary. Miu is scary!” he repeated while trembling in terror from the appearance of the other girl’s aura.
“I thought you said she was just a crazy girl from China with the wrong idea,” the angry martial artist asked while pinning her husband to the tabletop.
As soon as the shock of the sudden scene change came over her, Renka shook off her surprise, and winced at the little incident her mouth had caused. Opps. “Well… she probably was,” she said after a moment of enjoying Kenichi’s company.
Miu looked over to Renka, and Kenichi let out a squeak before his shaking increased. After shaking off the intensity of Miu’s gaze, there was no killing intent but that didn’t make Miu much less frightening when her attention was focused on you, Renka looked over to Ranma. “You didn’t tell her about Amazon marriages?”
He felt Miu’s grip tighten and let out a groan. “There was no stupid marriage! She just said we were married because I accidentally beat her in a fight.”
“Yeah, that’s the way I hear they do it,” Renka agreed after a moment. It was probably best not to argue semantics in this particular situation. Still, she wondered how Ranma managed to get away from an Amazon marriage; from everything Renka had head those people didn’t understand the word no.
Miu blinked, and looked down at her husband. She blushed, and then quickly backed off; her ki dissipating as she did so. “Sorry! You just tend to run or sneak away when you have to explain yourself.” It was just her reaction to dealing with it for so long.
“Hey! When have I ever-”
“Do you really want me to pull out the list?” Miu asked evenly.
Ranma just cleared is throat and got back in his seat. He just hoped nothing else happed to set Miu off now that she was calming down.
When it seemed everything had finally calmed down, Kenichi managed to get out of Renka’s grip to get back in his seat, Niijima continued the briefing. “Yes, well that’s… interesting. Any idea where she’d be Ranma?”
“Don’t know, don’t wanna know, just glad she’s gone.”
Niijima sighed and brought the next picture onto the screen.
Do they have to be right after each other? Ranma asked himself. He glanced over to Miu, and then scooted away before she reacted. Somewhat of an expert on angry girls, Ranma knew they needed at least ten minutes to cool down before you brought up something else to piss them off.
The next picture was of a large bald man with glasses and white gi.
Name: Genma Saotome Ag-
“So that’s what he looks like!” Miu shouted before she slammed her fists into the table had enough to shatter more than half of it. The entire building shook, and Niijima watched the television come loose before falling to the ground and shattering.
“You all felt it, this falls under our earthquake insurance,” he told the minions behind him evenly. It was man-made, but still an earthquake.
“Miu is scary. Miu is scary. Miu is scary!”
Renka sighed in contentment as Kenichi returned to her arms.
Ranma just groaned and slid down deeper into his chair. Things like this were why Ranma liked to avoid talking about his past with Miu, why he didn’t want her around when he went to Nerima. She was the sweetest girl he knew most of the time, but when she got angry...
“Geeze girl, what’d this one do? Torture kittens?” Kisara asked with a raised eyebrow.
The second Miu turned towards her, Kisara’s hair stood on end, and she wished she’d just shut up. Her aura had died down since its initial eruption, but it was slowly building in intensity again as she talked. “Yes! Lots of them! Three times!”
“Seriously?” Kisara asked in a surprised tone.
Sure, be angry about the cats, never mind my psychological trauma, Ranma thought to himself with a frown while looking over to Miu.
Out of the corner of her eye, Miu saw Ranma looking at her, and turned her head away from him angrily. “I’m still mad at you!”
“For what?” Ranma asked rhetorically. “I told you a crazy girl from China chased me around for over a year. I wanted her gone!” Okay, so he had helped her a few times when that would have come about had Ranma not done anything, but those were... special circumstances.
As much as her anger wanted her to argue, Miu had to agree with Ranma’s pronouncement. In the three plus years that she’d known him, Miu couldn’t really classify Ranma as the cheating type, even before her Grandpa started working on him. Irresponsible yes, but not two-timing.
But, she couldn’t just turn around and forgive him in front of everyone right then and there. That would have to wait for the walk home.
Looking down at his destroyed visual aid, Niijima sighed and moved his gaze over to Ranma. Maybe I should have left that one out, he told himself before putting the thought away, a little too late for that now.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to drop the matter for now. Even he needed time to gather information, like where they were hiding. This meeting was just a way to gauge everyone’s reaction to the idea. If Hermit of all people went along with it, everyone else would come around eventually.
Takeda raised his hand. “Umm, shouldn’t we be getting out of here before honey over there brings the place down on our heads?”
The girl in question turned to look at the shattered table, and blushed. “AHHHH! I’m sorry!” Miu said as she apologetically bowed her head. “It’s just that when I loose control of my emotions, I have uncontrolled bursts of ki! Grandpa says I‘ll be able to get the hang of it when I‘m older.” Although after living with Apachai for so long, Miu wasn’t quite sure if that was an absolute.
Niijima just moaned and rubbed his temples.
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(Posted Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:11)
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