The time was after the botched wedding, and Ranma Saotome was not pleased. Not with the Wrecking crew, not with the parents, not with life in general. Akane felt similarly, but her displeasure extended to Ranma in addition to the aforementioned parties. Even Akane acknowledged that this particular bit of anger didn’t have a foot to stand on, but it was a comforting bit of status quo in what had become a drastically changed situation.
After the news of the betrothal brouhaha, the Hentai Horde had reassembled, thinking that the fiancés had cancelled the wedding without outside assistance. Meanwhile, Ranma had begun avoiding to Ucchan’s and the Nekohanten, to the point where he’d double his travel time simply to avoid being visible from one of the restaurants’ windows. At school, he ignored Ukyo completely. His interaction with the girls outside of homes or school was limited to avoiding any attacks sent his way, including even Amazonian bicycle air strikes. On an unrelated note, every cursed male in the area was attacking Happosai on sight (including Pantyhose Taro, but that wasn’t any different from usual.)
The most important change at all, though, wasn’t any of these. It was something relatively small and subtle, though its repercussions would prove to be massive indeed. Namely, Soun Tendo finally got something resembling a clue. He and his elder two daughters could be seen discussing something quite often in the weeks following the wedding. It all came to a head one morning over breakfast.
“A marriage counselor?” Akane exclaimed incredulously.
“But we ain’t even married yet!” added Ranma.
“Yes,” Soun said grimly, “and you may never be at the rate your relationship is progressing.”
Genma scoffed at this. “What are you talking about, Tendo? They’re the very image of you and your wife at that age!”
The Tendo patriarch’s expression did not shift. “Indeed. Tell me, old friend, do you recall how long it was before Kimiko and I were wed?”
“Ah, well, it’s been a while…”
“Fifteen years, Saotome. Fifteen years.” Soun slammed his hand on the table for emphasis. “My baby will not have her first child at the age of thirty!”
The aforementioned baby gawked for a moment before Nabiki whispered to her, “Go along with it. It took every argument we could think of to convince Daddy.”
The part-time panda was not convinced. “It would be a waste of good money, Tendo. Why just look at them! It’s obvious you two care for each other, isn’t it?”
“Um…”
“Er…”
Soun sighed at this awkward display. “You see, Saotome? If nothing else, perhaps this fellow can coax our children out of their shells.”
“Hmm. And into each other’s! I may have been mistaken, old friend.” Genma nodded to himself as the fiancés reddened.
“Excellent. I’ll schedule the first appointment.”
“I must admit,” said Dr. Natto, “this is rather unorthodox.”
“I change into a girl with cold water, Doc,” groused Ranma. “Don’ talk t’ me about unorthodox.”
“All I mean is that this may be the first preemptive marriage counseling in the history of the profession.” The counselor looked over his notes. “Now, your fathers have given me some background on your situation. Arranged marriages, uniting schools of martial arts, and so forth.” He nodded at Ranma. “I believe it was your father who had to be disabused of the belief that I would simply hypnotize the two of you into happy matrimony.
“Sounds about right.”
“In any case, let’s begin.”
"Oh boy. That couple is something else."
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(Posted Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:00)
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