Miu walked through the gates of the Amazon Village and into the interior of the culture that looked like it belonged several thousand years in the past. It was, for the most part, like Ranma had described it. The log that her husband had fought his duel with Shampoo on was missing, but the architecture seemed to be what Ranma described to her, and everyone that Miu could see was openly carrying some melee weapon in their hands, or on their belt.
There seemed a lot more houses than they needed for some reason. After thinking about it for a moment, Miu supposed that with the way the Amazon women chased after men, a good many of them could be out husband hunting for the moment.
As soon as she was done sightseeing, Miu looked around for the house that was belonged to Cologne, and frowned. Wait a second… Ranma never told me where this old hag was supposed to live. She sighed at the slight speed bump, then pulled out her little translation dictionary and put a simple phrase together before tapping one of the locals on the shoulder.
“Where is Elder? I have… note for her. Point please, no talk good,” Miu explained in heavily accented Chinese as she held up the small piece of paper so show the girl with green hair she had pulled aside.
When the woman pointed towards an average-sized house near the middle of the village, Miu was a little surprised as the simplicity of the home. Didn’t the tribal leaders usually have some kind of decoration to mark their home or something? Miu wasn’t expecting a move prop, like a bunch of human skulls on spears by the front door, but it was a let down. Getting her mind back on task, she bowed her head in thanks, and trotted off towards the building. Once there, Miu knocked on the door, and waited it to open.
From what she’d heard from Ranma, the woman on the other side of the door had to be Shampoo. She had the blue hair that Ranma told Miu about, as well as the two little bells and skimpy clothes. Although the girl looked nothing like Renka, the colored hair and choice of accessories she had in it made Miu understand how Ranma could make the connection.
Well, that and the cat thing. Unfortunately, Miu didn’t have her canteen, or she would have poured it on the girl. The thought of someone who turned into a cat with cold water was just too cool! Maybe she could drag the girl over to the village well and… no, she had a job to do. Even if the girl turned into a cat… that looked different than any other cat on the planet… and kept those adorable little bells…
No Miu, stay focused she told herself.
She could deliver the message, and then see if she could get Shampoo to change… and try to take her home. Well, if she wanted to go. Which she might, Miu supposed… okay, hoped.
Her quiet demeanor completely destroyed, Miu classed her hands together with the smile of childish glee on her face. “Are you Shampoo?”
The Chinese girl in question blinked at the other girl’s… exuberance. It had been awhile since she had heard Japanese, but she got the jist of the question. “… Yes.”
“Can I splash some water on you?” Miu asked excitedly.
“NO!” Shampoo shouted before she tried to slam the door on the other girl’s face. She blinked when it didn’t budge, the looked to see the newcomer had grabbed onto it, and frowned. “You want anything else annoying girl?”
Miu blinked at the Chinese girl’s attitude, and then flinched as she replayed the last few seconds of conversation in her head. Okay… she supposed that could have come out as a little, rude. But… it was a girl that turned into a cat! Miu’s most favorite creature in the whole wide world! She’d kick herself forever if she hadn’t at least asked. “Is Cologne in, I have a letter for her.”
“Give!” Shampoo said as she snatched the letter Miu offered her, then waited for the girl to remove her hand, and slammed the door shut.
Awww, all I asked was see her cute little kitty form, Miu thought while tears ran down her eyes. No reason to be so mean! With her only chance to see the one Jusenkyo curse that she was envious of gone, Miu slumped in despair and slowly made her way out of the village. Why could she have brought a water canteen or something?
Oh, and a camera, and one of those little kitty carrying bags, and some cat food for the trip back to Japan, and…
When she got back to the camp, Miu had managed to get any ideas of keeping Shampoo as a pet from her mind, even if the girl would have enjoyed it much more than her life in China. She looked around to see Ranma had already set everything up for cooking dinner. He was leaning against a tree not far away, seemingly half asleep.
Still, dinner hadn’t been cooked. He wasn’t as good at cooking as Miu, but it would have been nice not to have to prepare the food at least once during this while trip. It didn’t even have to be a real big affair on his part either. All he had to do was open up a can, and put whatever was inside it in the pot. “Okay I gave it to her,” Miu said as she looked into their bag of supplies. “What have you been up to?”
Ranma picked his head up and opened an eye. “Waiting for you.”
“So, you were just standing around doing nothing then,” Miu surmised in an annoyed tone. “Would it have killed you to start dinner?”
The look on Ranma’s face told her that he hadn’t even thought of it. Although the slight flinch his body did at least showed he regretted it… or maybe that he just thought about it, and forgot to. Maybe he just flinched because he thought he was in trouble. Miu looked over and saw they had enough wood, so maybe it was the middle option. At least she hoped so.
“Well… you always cook,” he said as a rather lame defense.
Miu rolled her eyes. “Just… forget about it, it’s no big deal.”
Which, from Ranma’s experience with women, translated to: This is a very big deal, and now I’m pissed off and disappointed in you.
“Okay, okay! I’ll cook breakfast tomorrow… or something,” he told her, and then went back to leaning up against the tree.
The rather pathetic solution made Miu sigh. She didn’t care about the cooking. It just would have been nice to have him surprise her once and awhile with… well something, even if just to lighten her load every now and then. Was that so much to ask? Ranma wasn’t really the most thoughtful guy around when it came to relationship stuff, or cleaver, or…
On second thought… maybe it is too much to ask, Miu told herself. Still, she didn’t want to turn into one of those women whose secret to a successful marriage was low expectations. But, the only times she could remember when Ranma did something that could be considered as thoughtful was when she outright told him that her birthday was coming up, or the anniversary of her mothers death, or some other important date.
Well, at least it showed that he listened to her… sometimes. Plenty of women made do with a lot less. Wait, isn’t THAT a low expectation? Miu wondered, or was it just accepting people for who they are?
Maybe she had been reading too much of that relationship counseling book.
“So, what’s next?” she asked to try and get her mind off her current thoughts. Maybe he didn’t do it because it was supposed to be her job. They hadn’t set up a chore list or anything after all, and Ranma wasn’t one to stray from repetition.
Ranma didn’t bother looking back to her as he answered. “We just wait for Cologne to show up, and ask her where the Musk are.” The note he left hadn’t been signed, but Ranma knew she of all people would be able to recognize his… unique handwriting.
Hearing the ‘genius’ plan that her husband came up with made Miu sigh. Did he even think just how many holes there are in that idea? What if the woman didn’t come? What if she was dead? What if she did come, but brought friends? What if she just lied to them to get Ranma off her back?
“And if she doesn’t?” Miu asked.
Ranma looked back up to his wife. “Then we go to plan B!”
“Which is?” she grumbled.
Instead of going into a long explanation, Ranma just smirked at his own brilliance. “You’ll see.” What was the point of making a big master plan if there was no wow factor to help people acknowledge his brilliant idea?
A few minutes later, as Miu was preparing dinner, Ranma’s head shot up in the direction of the woods. “You can come out, I’ve already felt your approach.”
Miu blinked and looked up towards woods in the direction Ranma was facing. A few moments later, she blinked as a tiny… thing came hopping out from the darkness. Ranma had told her that Cologne’s longevity had taken its toll on her body, making it a shrunken, disfigured old hag… but she had been expecting something like a four foot old woman huddled over a cane with a face nothing but wrinkles. Instead, there was a one foot old woman literally hopping on her cane, whose entire body was nothing but mass of wrinkles and a pair of twiggy arms.
For a moment Miu wondered just how the hell that… old woman in front of her could be moving at all. Then she focused her vision to see how it was done as Cologne hoped around to get in front of Ranma to dismount. Miu didn’t know whether to be impressed at the ingenuity, or feel pity for the old woman.
“Hello son-in-law, it’s been a long time,” she said in a crackly voice. “I see you’ve gotten a bit more perceptive than the last time we met. I had my ki completely hidden.”
Ranma frowned at the comment. “Only an amateur needs their opponents to announce their presence to find them,” he said before smirking. “And I’d hardly call the way you move around being sneaky.”
So that’s what he was doing when I came back, Miu thought to herself. Well, she supposed she could forgive Ranma for not giving a helping hand when he had something else to concentrate on.
With the opening banter finished, Ranma moved onto the business at hand. “Tell me where the Musk are.”
“Oh my, just coming right out of the blue and making demands, are you now?” Cologne asked with a laugh and she narrowed her eyes. “Not even going to show your elder some respect?”
Ranma matched her hostile expression and fake smile. “Hmm, someone just dropping in and telling you what to do, now why does that sound so familiar?” he replied. “And why should I show respect to someone who’s never shown me any, or even deserves it to begin with?”
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Cologne continued the verbal duel. “My, I think you’ve gotten even more rude in the absence of a proper woman,” she told him. “You’d best learn some manners quickly boy, or I’ll have to start beating them into you again.”
“Was that a crack at my wife?” Ranma asked as he raised his eyebrow, “or more of your feminist crap?” For a fraction of a second he shift his attention to Miu to see she hadn’t even looked up from her preparation of dinner, then looked back to Cologne. “But seriously, could you talk a little more plainly? You know us stupid males don’t get all the innuendo that you deceitful girls like to throw round so much.”
Cologne frowned, all traces of her playful smile gone on both her face, and in her mannerisms. “Then how’s this for plain little boy. Get on your knees and beg me, and I might let the girl survive the night. For the dishonor you’ve inflicted on my tribe though, I’m afraid your suffering will be immense.”
“No,” Ranma told her evenly. “This is how it’s going to go: First, you’re going to tell me where the Musk are. Then you’re going to go home and not mention this to anyone. Then, you’re going to live the rest of your pathetic life in your little village, never going outside its walls again to bother anyone else again. If you don’t, I’ll make you regret it.”
The threat made Cologne laugh. “And how would you do that, little male?”
The question was one Ranma had been waiting for. In fact, he even had a heavily rehearsed response for the old woman and just this occasion. “I’ll just go into your village.”
Cologne raised an eyebrow. “What kind of threat is that?”
“All the time you were in Japan, all you ever did was spout junk about Amazon honor, Amazon tradition, laws, proper etiquette, and a bunch of other crap I can’t even begin to remember,” Ranma told her. “So tell me, just what would a society built on honor and tradition do to its leader when they find out she thinks its all a load? Instead of marrying me, you two return to China. Instead of killing Akane, Hinako, and everyone else that pissed Shampoo off, you just headed on home. Where‘s your tradition and honor Cologne? For someone who spouts off about her rules so much, she doesn‘t seem to be too keen on following them.”
The threat made Cologne raise an eyebrow. The old woman had to admit, Ranma had thought up a way to cause a problem for them. It seemed he had spent a little too much time around that Nabiki girl. “You’re one to be talking about breaking a code of honor.”
Ranma sneered at the comment. “Please, I gave up that stuff like stupid honor codes and useless pride long time ago.”
Away from the two old enemies, Miu picked her head of and looked back at her husband. The scary thing is, I think he actually buys into that, she thought.
“Just what the hell is honor if it forces you into unethical choices?” Ranma asked Cologne rhetorically. “I’ve seen time and time again to decided for myself what to do, and the hell with everyone else if they think it’s bad that I end up a cheater or liar because I break some stupid rules doing it.
“Now,” he continued, “tell me where the Musk are, or I’ll let your entire village know just how much of a failure their champion is.”
Cologne frowned in a threatening way. “Well then, son-in-law…”
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(Posted Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:11)
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