He closed the door behind him – ninja habit stopping it just before the frame, so it didn’t slam – juggling two pineapples, a cocoanut and a live lobster. Juggling not being a ninja skill (and him not being that much of a ninja, when all was said and done), he fumbled all four and considered himself thankful it was the cocoanut which went off in his hand – it was only charged with shaving cream.
As he scuttled out of the staffroom under the cover of the exploding pineapples, he sighed dispiritedly. For a moment there, he had thought the Master was going sane.
“Isn’t establishing relations with Japan rather ambitious as a first diplomatic endeavour?”
The portly martial artist smiled, proudly and almost but not quite condescendingly. “There are many reasons why attempting to ally with Japan makes a good training exercise in this instance. To begin with, Japan had no knowledge of Rangard before today, so he doesn’t have to worry about overcoming prejudices. Then, of course, he doesn’t actually want much from Japan anyway, and there isn’t much Rangard can offer in return. The greatest reason, however, is much simpler.”
When he declined to continue, but waited in the manner of a rather smug teacher, the young reported asked, “What is that?”
“If he completely messes it up, there’s no one in Japan who kmows how to get to Rangard.”
“Master! There is a magical prince with many followers arriving in Tokyo, and he’s coming this way!”
Tendo Nabiki turned a quizzical eye on the diminutive figure reporting to her classmate. Not for the first time, she wondered how he managed to get into the classroom without opening the door, and how he got to the desk next to her without disturbing anyone in the room.
“What? Who dares attack the Imperial city?”
Ah, Dramatic Pose number five, The Heroic Figure is Informed of Catastophe. Nabiki knew it well.
“He is said to be named ‘Ranma’, Master,” explained the ninja earnestly. “He seems to be leading a great army of various fantastic beings.”
Thinking this was a little too strange for Sasuke to have thought up for himself, Nabiki surreptitiously slipped out the earbuds for her radio and tuned in to her preferred twenty-four hour all-Japan news station.
“And this horde marches upon our present locale even as we speak?”
Dramatic Pose number sixteen, the rarely-used The Hero Seeks Confirmation.
“It appears so, Master.”
Because she sat in the front row, only the teacher was in a position to see Nabiki’s expression change.
“Whyfor should such an invasion seek to descend upon this demesne? What manner of treasure lies here that is not to be found elsewhere?”
Dramatic Pose number fourteen, the overused The Hero Thinks. Overused because, as far as anyone could tell, he didn’t.
“But of course… But it shall avail thee not, for as surely as I am the Blue Thunder I shall prevail!”
Dramatic Pose number two, The Hero Departs on the Quest.
(Posted Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:41)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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