"Ranma!"
Ranma turned his head and smiled at Nabiki's voice. "Nabiki!"
Nabiki smiled slightly, but her expression was too serious for this to be casual. "We have problems, Ranma," she said, getting closer. She handed him a photo.
Ranma glanced at the picture of his naked female self and his bento hit the ground. "How?" he whispered, brain in vaporlock.
"Spirit-sensitive film," Nabiki said. "At least that's what the rumors say. Never heard of the stuff, but it wouldn't be a difficult enchantment to come up with, I think."
Ranma's face set and Nabiki had to wince at the fire in his aura as the picture vanished in his fist. "Who?"
Gosunkugi counted his yen. Thanks to Kuno-sempai, he had enough to replace all his lost supplies and then some. The True Blunder even put a standing order for more pictures, and a similar bounty on Akane. The crazy bastard was a yen mine, made completely of money, and mined by gnomes made of gold.
Gosunkugi blinked at the metaphor his idle thoughts came up with. "I may have listened to him too long," he told himself.
"Gosunkugi."
It is important to remember that while Gosunkugi Hikaru suffers a superiority complex on par with the Blue Thunder, he harbors no delusions towards his ability to handle himself in a base contest of physical combat. Which is probably why he had even less blood in his face than usual when he turned to look at Saotome Ranma.
And the dozen angry girls behind him.
"Saotome-kun," Gosunkugi said as politely as he could manage, smiling nervously. Maybe he just wanted lunch money. "How can I help you?"
"You've been selling pictures of my-" Ranma stumbled and tried to think of a good word, failed. "Of Ranko," he said instead. "Naked pictures."
Gosunkugi's heart stopped. This was bad. "Well she's a spirit. She's always naked. Not my fault."
Ranma cracked his knuckles and a number of brooms, bags, and other implements of feminine destruction made their presence known. "Oh, so she asked you to take those pictures?"
Gosunkugi gulped. "I didn't think she'd mind."
"She did," Ranma said calmly. His fist flew forward.
That night, the janitor looked at the mannequin someone had hung up in the hallway. It looked like a sickly child, sunken eyes, drawn face, covered in bruise marks that almost looked real. Someone had sewn a sign to his shirt that said "enemy of all women" and there was a piece of ducttape over his mouth.
He didn't see the handful of crumpled photos shoved in that mouth.
After the janitor left, an imp appeared in the hallway and slapped Gosunkugi until he regained consciousness. "Message from Mara. Good work."
Gosunkugi moaned.
"No, I didn't have to be that rough."
Grunt.
"Because I wanted to."
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(Posted Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:16)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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