Konohagakure had Inari.
There was much resentment of this, covered with disdain publically. After all, THEY had proper weapons of destruction who could wreak havoc upon their enemies! Not like Konoha with its damn tree-huggers and nicey-nice ninja and such. Konoha had some weak little fox deity, how lame and un-ninja was THAT?
Which led to the occasional "Let's show those namby-pamby weak play-ninja what REAL ninja can do" raids.
Some of the raids ended up side-tracked into one of the taverns nearby where the Tokubetsu Junmai-shu sake was cheaper than almost anywhere outside the Fire Country. Those tended to end up with the ninja involved having many drinks, even trying some of the Junmai Daiginjo-shu and ended up going back home with tales of how they'd kicked butt - and man those Leaf ninja-brewmasters knew their stuff.
A few of the ninja who'd attack Konohagakure or try to steal the secrets would have something truly worrisome occur to them. They went down to kill the Abomination or sow destruction, and ended up abandoning their old village. Well, it was really worrisome to those who'd sent those ninja down there at least.
Some actually DID attack the village. Which caused occasional problems which COULD be attributed to the presence of a certain fox sealed inside a certain boy.
Sometimes, things could get a little weird.
The door to the shrine banged open.
"HEY! ANYONE HERE?" yelled a woman who was carrying another woman.
"Yes," said a nine-year-old girl with pale eyes in miko robes. "Are you here for prayer?"
"NO!" said the woman in trenchcoat and ninja-mesh. "My friend here's been badly wounded. Poisoned."
"Then wouldn't the Hospital have been a better choice?" asked the shrine maiden.
"They said they can't do anything for her," said the woman. "So what is your god going to do about it?"
"I'm sorry for your friend," said the girl, "but I can't..."
"I'll pay any price, you have the word of Anko Mitarashi!" said the kunoichi. "Kurenai. You promise too."
"Whatever you say," mumbled the woman. "Just stop yelling."
"Anything?" came a voice that didn't belong to the shrine priestess.
"Sure," said Anko, looking around. "Anything. Short of betraying the village or something..."
"DONE," said the voice.
Kurenai Yuhi cried out as something seemed to burn through her then died down.
"That took quite a lot out of me," said the voice, now sounding inordinately tired. "Welcome to Clan Uzumaki."
"What?" asked Anko.
"What did you get me into, Anko?" asked Kurenai as she more fully came to.
"Uhm," said Anko.
Kurenai sniffed. "How much were you drinking before you made this deal?"
"Errr," said Anko.
The little girl with the white eyes smiled brightly at the two chunin. "Naruto-kun has some big sisters now? That's so neat."
"Uhm, well, at least it worked," pointed out Anko.
Sarutobi Hiruzen looked very serious. Actually he was quite amused, but he'd gotten pretty good at looking fairly serious while all this was going on.
"-and so you see, this is completely wrong and you should have the kid just drop the matter," said Anko.
A chunin came in with a pile of paperwork, took a look at the two women in maid outfits (Kurenai's looking fairly functional and Anko's - not so much) and promptly tripped over his feet and crashed to the floor.
"No, I don't think so," said the Third Hokage. For one thing this was way too amusing.
"Uhm, excuse me?" asked Anko, hoping she hadn't heard that.
"Did you know that gods have rules, laws that they must obey?" asked the Third Hokage.
"Uhm, no," said Anko, thinking this didn't sound good.
"Equivelant Exchange," said the Hokage. "That's where the whole thing about making offerings to the gods came from. In order for them to be able to grant you anything, there has to be a price."
Kurenai's head drooped just a bit. "So, we're stuck with this?"
"I found the paperwork this morning," said the Hokage. "You two are accepted as chunin within the village, free to go on to ninja missions and the like, but you are also retainers of Clan Uzumaki."
"But... he's EIGHT," said Anko.
"So?" asked Hiruzen.
"Well, he can't have much room," tried Anko.
"A mansion," said Hiruzen.
"Right so he can't... excuse me?" asked Anko.
"He won it in a night of poker," said Hiruzen, shaking his head. "Now THAT was a night I remember well."
"Naruto Uzumaki has a mansion?" asked Anko.
"Yes," said Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Well, that's not so bad," said Anko, "living in a mansion."
"CLEANING a mansion," said Kurenai, considerably less thrilled with the idea.
"Well, he's EIGHT, so he can't require anything of you, so you shouldn't be that upset," said Anko.
"Oh?" asked the Hokage, having an idea what Anko was referring to and what Kurenai Yuhi was clearly worried about. Just the maid uniform Anko was wearing was suggestion for THAT. "You might have to deal with the others if it came to that."
Kurenai and Anko both stiffened at that.
"Others?" finally asked Kurenai.
"You think you're the only ones who went drunk into Inari's shrine and tried asking for something?" asked the Hokage. "I understand that little incidental things like praying for painless childbirth is only a matter of a few sticks of incense. Some people want more and promise more."
"So I gather," said Kurenai drily.
"So, there are other maids?" asked Anko.
Hiruzen Sarutobi glanced at the two worried ninja-maids, at the chunin on the floor gathering paperwork that had just passed out with a nosebleed when he'd glanced up at Anko, and remembered other incidents like that poker game that a few clan heads and business people had gotten together with the idea of inviting a little kid into. That said child could make all sorts of promises and bets that could have been advantageous to them later. That on that now infamous night the sake had seemed especially potent and bets had been made and Naruto had lost a few times but had ended up with a winning streak that had made grown men cry. Literally.
On the other hand, many orphans often wanted to have families of their very own and Clan Uzumaki had caused a couple members of the Council to go seeking ulcer medication on a regular basis.
The Third Hokage blinked, returning to Anko's question to properly answer it.
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(Posted Sun, 16 May 2010 17:43)
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