Boredom. For voyages the most attention spans, this is the enemy of many. How long can you simply sleep through a trip, through a tedious process you have no input in, nor receive any output from, to occupy your mind?
Sitting in a giant alien ship, listening to the dull thrums as lightning strikes the hull, the sound of the single-screen robots working to repair the ship while it had power, and the sounds Saturn would occasionally make while feeding the lone male of the group—which while cute at first, soon got annoying; there was only so much to do. You either took a nap, talked about a few things, or like Mercury, worked on getting the ship repaired, wanting off the Proto-Earth.
Of course, thanks to the porridge and water—which was simple enough to teach the Food Dispenser to create considering its simple makeup of three atoms—another issue crept up.
Looking about with a blush, Venus made her way to the Senshi of Ice, who was still conversing with her computer and the one onboard the alien ship. “Um… Mercury?”
“Hmm?”
“I need to … well … you know…”
“Need to what?” asked Mercury, having not looked up from the Mercury Computer.
Eyes narrowed, Venus sighed and leaned in close to her friend. “Where is the bathroom?” she whispered, face red with embarrassment.
That got Mercury’s attention. “Oh!” Looking quickly at the Mercury Computer, she pulled up the schematics of the ship. She figured that it had to have a restroom … hopefully, and one humans could use. “Give me a minute; I have to see if I can pressurize the deck.”
“Huh?” asked Venus.
“Do you know how to go to the bathroom in our Senshi form?” Mercury whispered back.
“… Oh!” Venus nodded, recognizing the point.
“Okay, take the second door on the left out the hallway there,” Mercury finally answered, as a slight hissing sound was heard across the bridge.
“What’s going on?” asked Jupiter, looking about.
“I’m pressurizing the deck with an oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere,” Mercury responded.
“Why?” asked Mars.
“Because Venus needs to go tinkle,” smirked Pluto, having recognized the little ‘dance’ Venus had been doing while standing next to Mercury.
Silence descended onto the room, as the group slowly turned towards the reddening Senshi of Love.
“So … we need to go together?” asked Moon. That was how it usually went, right?
“We should go in pairs, at least,” Neptune started. “We still do not know the full purpose of this ship. And should this vessel turn hostile, it would be best not to be trapped alone.”
“The vessel isn’t hostile,” Mercury stated.
“For now,” replied Uranus. “You said yourself that even it doesn’t know.”
“Can someone just go with me?” cried Venus. “I really gotta go!”
“You shouldn’t have had all that water,” Jupiter sighed, following her out the door.
As soon as the door closed, the others began giggling a bit.
“Well, that broke the tension,” Mars chuckled lightly, getting her laughter back under control. It had been nice to have a normal issue popping up.
It wasn’t even a second after they had finished reigning in their laughter when the door opened again.
“That was quick,” Uranus teased, as the duo headed directly for Mercury.
“You said the second door on the left, right?” asked Venus.
Mercury nodded. “What’s the problem?”
“I’m speaking honestly here,” Jupiter started. “But how the hell do you use those toilets?”
Blinking in confusion, Mercury tapped at her computer, bringing up the diagram for the restroom. After all, the robots had been human-like—at least the top halves. So surely the alien physiology wouldn’t have been…
“…” was all she could say as the ship’s computer brought up the diagram for the restroom. Tilting her head first left, then right, she tried to visualize exactly how such a design was to be used.
She then nearly lost her porridge as the ship gave an animated demonstration.
“Well,” offered Jupiter, “we know they were … flexible.”
“Can you fix it?” asked Venus.
Mercury slowly turned to stare at her.
“What?”
“Do you think I have a computer filled with modern technology?”
“I’m not asking for modern technology, I’m asking for a bathroom!”
By now, a few of the other Senshi had approached the group, even looking over Mercury’s shoulder to see the ‘demonstration’ of how the ship’s builders had gone to the bathroom. Most just had wide eyes at the first look at a non-human life form—a shock considering all of the other Senshi they had come across, and all had had a human-like form.
“Man, I hope these guys are friendly,” muttered Moon, staring at the screen.
“Not a race I’ve heard of before,” Pluto responded. “It could be they evolved to another form or died out before recorded history during the Sailor Coalition.”
“Coalition?” asked Saturn, leaving her sleeping friend now that she didn’t have to worry about failure of the atmospheric shield.
“It was the loose alliance of Senshi before the Sailor Wars,” Pluto responded. “Back then, there was no central leadership for the Sailor Senshi. I’m not fully clear on what happened back then, but I do know that the Coalition fell apart, and the refugees of that war came to Sol to start over, investing their power into a central figurehead, who became the Line of Serenity.”
“History later!” Venus cried. “I need to gooooo!”
Sighing, Pluto reached over Mercury’s shoulder and began typing on the Mercury Computer’s keyboard. Said owner of said magical computer was about to ask what Pluto was doing when said computer gave an audio response.
“Restricted Access Granted.”
“Huh?” asked Mercury.
“I unlocked the hidden sectors with knowledge of the Silver Millennium and technology,” Pluto responded. “That would include some ship and base designs, and those would include bathrooms, including toilets, though they are closer to a western-style than Japanese.
“Probably better for a spaceship anyways.” True, Eastern-style was typical in Juuban, but the last thing you wanted to be doing was squatting when the ship lurched.
The others just stared at her, shocked that not only had such information been in hand all this time, but also that Pluto was only now showing it to them.
“And we didn’t know about this, like, from the beginning, because…?” asked Mars.
Pluto shrugged. “You never asked and I knew that if she could, Mercury would have spent the last few years trying to rebuild that technology on Earth.”
“And the possibility we could have used some of that technology during our battles?” asked Jupiter.
“Most of the stuff in there isn’t hand-held stuff.” Pluto closed her eyes for a second, thinking. “Actually, most of it isn’t the leave-the-city-habitable-type either.
“Aside from the Sailor Wars, the weaponry wasn’t developed much,” she finished. “If it had been, we might have lasted longer than we did.”
“Fine, life sucked, people died, I GOTTA PEE!” cried Venus.
Blinking, Mercury typed quickly, sending the specifications to the ship’s AI, as two of the repair droids took off down the hallway.
“It’ll be a few minutes, and it won’t be pretty,” Mercury offered.
“As long as it flushes and they have toilet paper, I won’t complain.”
“Um…”
“… This is hell…”
“I can help!” Saturn said, transforming back to her civilian form. Reaching into a pocket in her pants, she pulled out a small wad of toilet paper.”
“And why do you have that in your pocket?” asked Neptune.
“Well, Haruka-papa didn’t get the boxes of tissues like she was supposed to, so I grabbed some toilet paper in case I needed to blow my nose,” Hotaru added quietly.
As Neptune glared at Uranus, Mercury scanned the unused tissue for the ship, directing it to make it into a roll, and thankful that it was at least good quality toilet paper.
Venus just kept hoping from one foot to another, trying not to wet herself. At that point, she would have been happy with a bucket.
“Um, stupid question,” started Mars, “but if their bathrooms looked like that, what do the bedrooms look like?”
Minako strolled back into the auxiliary bridge, free from excess ‘pressure’. Sure, the bathroom hadn’t been perfect—in fact, she was pretty sure all the repair robots did was yank that urinal from the wall, bend it in several places, and weld it to the floor—but it had served its purpose.
“How much longer?” muttered Makoto, the Senshi now in their civilian form.
“It will take time,” replied Mercury, still in her Senshi guise in case they needed an emergency Atomspheric Shield and to keep the Mercury Computer active. “Luckily, Earth is nothing but desert and rock right now. These dust storms can last for a long time, and the static charge they generate is creating some very powerful lightning bolts. With any luck, they’ll last long after main power is restored.”
“And how long will that be?” asked Rei.
“Until the replace the main power core. Apparently, they had to eject it and the resulting explosion sent the ship crashing down here.”
“How about putting that in terms of days and hours?” muttered Haruka.
“I don’t know,” Mercury stated. “Some of the materials need to be replicated, and that will depend on how much damage needs to be repaired for those needed systems to come online.
“Right now, we’re lucky to have power for life support, food, and the repair drones.”
“Can’t we do something to help?” asked Usagi.
“Not at the moment,” replied Mercury. “Even if we could mix Silver Millennium technology with this vessel, we simply don’t have the resources to give it any power. The best we can do is stay out of the way and make sure we don’t give the ship any more work than necessary.”
“What about him?” asked Hotaru, still standing beside the small chair-like device Ranma was sleeping in. “How come he won’t wake up?”
“It is because he still needs to digest the food to get energy from it,” Setsuna replied. “He is a high-level martial artist. While he might be able to get energy from his environment, this Earth is currently a dead world. There’s no living aura to the planet for him to tap into.”
“Like a youma?” asked Minako.
“Something like that,” replied Setsuna. “But this is the energy generated by a planet full of life. Right now, we’re the only living things on this world, plus or minus any bacteria or such we brought along with us. So, he has to go back to the original means of the human body to gather energy: digesting food.”
“Any of this why you were so interested in him?” asked Haruka with a smirk.
Setsuna turned away, hiding a blush to her face, but also not wanting them to see any reaction. Her motives to watch Saotome hadn’t exactly been pure. “Let’s just say I was watching a lot of people on Earth who may or may not become issues for us in the future, one way or another.”
Steeling herself, she turned towards the others, ready to sell her ‘current’ version of events. “I was being vigilant, ensuring possible allies and/or enemies were dealt with in the best possible manner.”
“And he was a possible ally?” asked Usagi.
“It would depend on the threat, Princess,” Setsuna added, thinking it best not to outright call the boy a threat now. Technically, he was the only reason they had this ship right now. Moreover, she was willing to admit she may have been … ‘dealing’ … with him a bit too harshly. “There were several possible timelines where he could have been either. I was hoping to steer him towards a friend of us.
“I will say it was quite fortunate this accident happened while I was observing him and not any I considered possible threats.”
“But what could—” started Rei, before she was silenced by Setsuna’s glare.
“You do not want to know.” The last thing she wanted to do was traumatize them by revealing some of the ‘lesser’ threats to the restoration of the Silver Millennium. It would be hard enough convincing them that she hadn’t wanted Saotome dead so much as out of the way.
“So, what can we do?” asked Makoto. “I mean, can we time-travel forward?”
“We’d have to make a complete leap,” Setsuna stated. “Otherwise, I’d recommend we find a nice black hole and approach close enough to the event horizon until we reached the right point.”
“Huh?” asked Haruka.
“She means as we approach closer to a black hole, time would pass slower for use relative to the rest of the universe, as a form of bastardized time travel, meaning while minutes would pass for us, centuries or millennia would pass for the rest of the universe.”
The group slowly turned towards Hotaru.
“What? I watched the Discovery Channel.”
“Because of the issue with our Sailor Crystals, right?” asked Minako.
Setsuna nodded. “Right now, we’re okay, because no Sailor Senshi have been born to these crystals.
“That’s it!” cried Usagi.
“… I’m almost afraid to ask,” muttered Rei, before looking at their leader—that thought still gave her shudders. “But what is it, Dumpling Head?”
Usagi smiled, ignoring the remark—never a good sign. “We can make Ranma a Sailor Senshi.”
“So we will get to see his female form!” smirked Haruka, before Michiru elbowed her in the side.
“A Senshi of what?” asked Rei, palming her face. “The planets are all taken up, unless you want him to be the Senshi of Earth, and I do believe Mamoru has that, unless a planet can have a Senshi and a Kamen.”
Setsuna shrugged. “Sorry, Kamen were quite new even at the Great Fall, and I have no idea how they relate to the Senshi. Though in his way, Mamoru was at times just as powerful as Sailor Moon, even without the Golden Crystal.
“Even with that, it would be inadvisable to make Ranma the Senshi of Earth, especially since the Princess cured him of his curse.”
“So … one of the moons?” Usagi asked.
“Mine!” cried Makoto.
“Huh?” sputtered Minako.
“Hey, Jupiter has plenty of moons!” the Senshi of Lightning and Plants responded with a smirk.
“I thought we talked about this!” stammered Minako.
“Who called ‘mine’ first?” asked Makoto.
“You did!”
“… Oh, right… Sorry, but Venus doesn’t have a moon.”
“So another moon Senshi is bad?” asked Usagi.
“Why does he even need to be a Senshi?” asked Rei.
“Well, if he’s a Senshi, he’ll live longer than a century or so,” Usagi stated, finger at her mouth in the classic ‘thinking pose’. “Plus, as a Senshi, a mana source would flow into him, altering into chi, so he’d be able to feed it into the ship.”
The others just stared; part not expecting their Princess to think so far in advance outside of a Senshi form, part that they had not considered a human’s limited life span.
“Do you even know how to make a new Senshi?” asked Rei, struggling to be a voice of reason. “Not that I want him dying of old age and all before we get home, but do you? The only example we’ve seen of them were the Sailor Animamates.”
“Setsuna will know!” Usagi chirped.
“What makes you think that, Princess?” She may have been willing to admit she might have been a bit single-minded in dealing with Saotome before this all happened, but she wasn’t quite ready to welcome him as a fellow Senshi/Kamen.
“Well, how did the refugees who arrived here get the Sailor Crystals for the planets?” Usagi asked. “Or is it like something the Ginzuishou knows instantly how to do, like rewind time and heal people?” To her, it sounded so simple: make him a Senshi or Kamen; he’d live long enough for them to return home. In addition, he did seem like a great person. This way, they could still hang out when they got home!
Setsuna just twitched. “I don’t know, Princess. As such, it may be dangerous to him in mind, body, and/or soul to even attempt it right now without knowing.”
“Found it,” stated Mercury.
Externally, Setsuna twitched. Internally, she was cursing in more languages than had existed on Earth in its history.
“Really?” asked Minako, rushing over to Mercury.
“May I at least suggest holding off on such a plan until after he wakes up,” Setsuna suggested, hoping he would at least turn it down. “This isn’t the sort of decision that should be forced on him.
“Also, consider what may occur if the ship requires another bio-electric charge. We cannot be certain how Senshi magic may affect that.”
Some of the girls accepted her reasoning, if only for the fact that in the end, they agreed it had to be Ranma’s choice, not something they could simply force on him. Others, on the other hand…
“The Kamen of Europa,” murmured Makoto with a smile.
Minako just pouted, cursing her planet’s luck not to have a moon. Even Mars had two little tiny moons.
Hotaru just snorted. The Kamen of Titan sounded way cooler.
Setsuna could only palm her face. There has to be some force that is punishing me this way. No other explanation makes sense.
In a separate dimension, a small black at sneezed, wondering if someone was blaming him for something, before he shrugged and returned to cleaning his bar. “Why do they always think it is my fault, anyway? I mean, what are the odds I did something to them?
“… Well, that’s beside the point…”
Loki sighed as he ignored the elder god and sipped his rum and coke. Still; better than listening to Odin talk about the ‘good ole days’.
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(Posted Sun, 30 May 2010 23:01)
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