"Naruto Uzumaki. I'm not a ninja. Don't like ninjas. Don't like this village, either. Every time I visit, I get treated like I'm carrying plague or something."
Sasuke stirred from his brooding to regard the boy. Odd clothing. Armored bracers and leggings. Baggy sleeved tunic. Baggy pants. No ninja headband though. Instead he had some headband tied in place with the words 'Gods Cry' on it.
"Eh to. I don't think this place is that bad, though for some reason I feel sad here." said a girl's voice.
"Well, of course," replied Naruto apparently to the voice. "You died here. Bound to have unhappy memories even if you can't remember them. Still, that's one good thing about all this. Something might jog your memories."
"Uhm," said Sakura hesitantly. "Who was that? Do you have a communicator or something on?"
"No," said Naruto, drawing a white wooden sword on which was burned some odd seal. "That's Hinata. Hinata, this is the team of assassins I got assigned to."
"Uhm. How do you do? Pleased to meet you."
Sasuke blinked and stopped pretending to be uninterested. "You're a sword-specialist? Your sword talks? A wooden sword?"
"Yes, yes she does, and yes she is," said Naruto. "I'm a sword-priest of the Shinmei-Ryuu style. Specialty in hunting down evil spirits and monsters, then destroying them. I have a fair talent for wind-style jutsu as well, and did pretty good with wards and protective circles. How about you two?"
"We're assassins," said Sasuke drily.
"Fair enough, it's a living I suppose," said Naruto with a shrug. "Actually, I was wondering since we may end up stuck together until the political types get tired of playing around and I can go back to being a wandering monster-slayer of the Shinmei Ryuu. What are your strengths? Anything you're good at?"
"Sasuke's good at everything!" boasted Sakura. "Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, kunai, shuriken, and his grades were top of the class in the Academy!"
Naruto waited a couple of seconds for Sasuke to say something or for Sakura to say what HER talents were. "Okay, so your main skills are being his cheerleader?"
"NO!" protested Sakura, seeing this as an opportunity to remind Sasuke why she was his best choice for a partner. "I was right behind Sasuke in all the Academy courses. Except my taijutsu and thrown weapons weren't really my strength."
"Anything you want to add?" asked Naruto directly of Sasuke.
"Why should I tell you?" asked Sasuke, going back to brooding.
"Because we're on a team?" asked Naruto. "That usually includes teamWORK, you know."
"You're not a ninja, so you wouldn't understand," said Sasuke.
"Yeah, right, whatever," said Naruto, settling back down again. "I tell you, Hinata, show me just one good thing about this village."
"I... I'll try."
The Next Morning:
"So you're saying that if one of us doesn't get one of the two bells you've got on your belt, that person fails and doesn't become a ninja?" asked Naruto.
"Yes, not to mention you don't get lunch, you get tied to a post, and I eat your lunch in front of you," said Kakashi.
"Screw the lunch," declared Naruto. "Okay, Sakura, Sasuke. Good luck! I'll be rooting for you!"
Naruto got four paces down the path before Kakashi suddenly appeared before him. "Nice try."
"Hey, I'm not a ninja. Don't want to be a ninja," protested Naruto. "Don't see why I should be on a ninja team other than a bunch of old fogies want to keep tabs on me for reasons I'm not supposed to go into."
"Uhm," said Kakashi.
"You ninjas really like to keep and find and screw around with secrets, don't you?" asked Naruto.
"Uhm," repeated Kakashi, who honestly couldn't deny that observation.
"And what IS it with this test, anyway?" asked Naruto. "I've always heard the Leaf Village was different. You care about your people and stress teamwork, but the first thing you do is try to screw up your kids with a lesson on how to screw up your team."
"Well..." said Kakashi, who realized he was rapidly going on the defensive and someone had just put the whole point of the test out there in plain view.
"SHUDDUP NARUTO!" yelled Sakura. "You're going to make us all fail!"
Kakashi felt his visible eye roll in response and kept the motion from completing. It looked as if someone didn't get the hint even then.
"Yeesh," said Naruto, sounding disgusted. "At least if I walked around the village, something might look familiar to Hinata and jog a memory or two."
"Uhm, that's okay. I think we should help Sakura-san and Sasuke-san become ninja."
Naruto snorted. "Fine fine. I think it's a waste of time, but as a practitioner of Shinmei-Ryuu I CAN follow orders AND work with a team."
"I haven't seen any evidence of that yet," said Kakashi. "Your sword sounds more reasonable than you do."
"How many times can you seriously say something like that," noted Sasuke.
"So what are the rules about this? No killing blows - obviously, but what about boundaries and forbidden techniques?" asked Naruto. "This is a NINJA test, and as I'm not a ninja, I haven't read the secret ninja rulebook on this stuff."
"Do we have a secret ninja rulebook?" asked Sakura.
"I can't confirm or deny the existence of a secret ninja rulebook," pointed out Kakashi. "It would be a secret, after all."
"Oh, good point, I guess," said Sakura, wondering now if any of this was a part of the test.
"As for rules, you'll have to try and kill me, since you're genin and I'm a jonin, anything less means you'll fail. The test begins when I say 'start'," said Kakashi.
Sakura dropped and tried to do a legsweep. Sasuke leapt forward with a kunai.
Kakashi used one hand on each to stop them. "That was NOT the signal. Okay, NOW you can begin."
POOF!
"Why are you two attacking a log?" asked Naruto.
"He used a substitution jutsu," said Sakura, turning so she was facing the woods around the clearing. "He's probably watching us from the shadows. Ready to pounce when we least expect it."
"Actually," said Hinata's voice. "He's in the bushes at roughly 2:30 from Naruto's position."
Sakura and Sasuke stared at the whitewood sword.
"Good job, Hinata," said Naruto. "So how do we handle this?"
"Stay out of my way," said Sasuke, charging to the attack.
"Konohagakure, they tell me," said Naruto, shaking his head, "they're different from other ninja villages. They believe in teamwork, they don't waste the lives of their ninja, they don't prosecute bloodlines even. Pfeh."
"Uhm," said Sakura, putting things together. "You think it's a trick?"
"Either that or the whole bit about Konoha being different was a bunch of hooey," said Naruto. "Though right now I'm more inclined to the last one."
"Uhm, right," said Sakura.
"Lesson one: Taijutsu," said Kakashi as he proceeded to beat the pulp out of Sasuke Uchiha.
"He's actually got some good moves there," observed Naruto. "Decent speed. Fair amount of power. That fireball thing though - it blocks his own vision of the target. Needs to work on a more concentrated version that he can see around."
"I don't see you doing any better!" snapped Sakura.
Naruto simply watched as Sasuke arced upwards and then came crashing down.
"SASUKE!" yelled Sakura as she charged towards Sasuke.
"Since you're behind me now, I presume it's my turn?" asked Naruto.
"Yes," said Kakashi. "Lesson two: Genjutsu."
Naruto simply stood there, gazing off into the distance. Kakashi nodded, then turned his attention to where Sakura was crying over the beaten-up Sasuke.
"Zanganken!" WHACKUM!
"Hello, Kakashi, I see you're awake."
"Whaffurmf?" managed Kakashi through a dry sandpaperish mouth. The blurred double-images slowly fit back together and focussed into the training ground.
"You assumed I was a ninja genin, that I had no mental defenses against illusion techniques, and that I was caught in your attack with no way out," said Naruto, sitting on a post nearby. "Which was wrong, wrong, and by the way - wrong. So I faked you out and then hit you from behind. I thought you might appreciate that as it's kind of a 'ninja' thing to do."
"The bells?" asked Kakashi, slowly sitting up with the feeling of a very massive headache making things a bit delicate.
"Sakura and Sasuke have one each," said Naruto. "So they can be your genin team."
"Ugh. Why are you still here?" asked Kakashi, trying to get a feel for the situation and a feel for the egg-sized bump on the back of his skull at the same time.
Naruto just looked at him briefly. "You are not an enemy. Annoying yes. The Shinmei Ryuu does not go about casually killing people. Even inhuman monsters, if they can be reasoned with, are not slain summarily out of hand. No matter what terms you set on it, this was just a test. Since I injured you in the course of your test, I stuck around to tend your wound and make sure you could make it home on your own."
"I see," said Kakashi. "Where are Sasuke and Sakura then?"
"Back in town," answered Naruto. "Sasuke needed some bandages, and Sakura was determined to be the one to bandage him."
Kakashi considered this very weird outcome to the bell test before deciding:
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(Posted Sun, 23 May 2010 06:25)
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