Dungeon Keeper Ami: Horny snaps! [Episode 239545]

by Judge Mental

Horniculous had lots of experience with Keepers and the effects that Dungeon Hearts could have upon them. Hellish red eyes were pretty much a universal trait even among the newest of the bunch, and it wasn't at all uncommon for more seasoned Keepers to pick up additional mutations due to long-term exposure to the Heart's nature-warping, life-consuming influence. Every so often, a newly-activated Dungeon Heart would cause advanced mutations in a Keeper who had a particularly strong pre-existing affinity for chaos, death, and destruction - or just really bad luck - with even more pronounced traits emerging over time.

Given that the girl had exploded when she joined with the Heart, Horny fully expected her to come out as something only vaguely recognizeable as human. It would have made his day, and been motivation enough to keep him from killing her for the massive inconvenience she'd caused him thus far. He'd just mutilate her a few times to remind her that he was a Horned Reaper, a being that was not to be put on ice or otherwise screwed with by anyone that valued their continued existence - particularly not feeble little human girls - and they'd be good.

Unfortunately for Horny's cheerfully violent daydreams, his expectations were based upon the workings of Dungeon Hearts firmly under the control of the Dark Gods, beings for whom corruption, horror, and atrocity came as naturally as violence and murder did to a Reaper (although those behaviors were also very common among the evil deities). This Heart was now the property of the Trinity, who as previously noted, took a very different view of things than their unholy counterparts, or even their rivals in the Light. This was not to say that the Trinity were opposed to mutation in and of itself: Logos saw the prediction of the emergence and manifestation of new traits as an intellectually stimulating pasttime, and would not have objected to a mutation that granted increased intelligence, superior magical aptitude, or useful psychic powers; Farore viewed the process as a natural, necessary part of life; and Curly Joe was enthusiastic about anything that could increase a person's ability to kick ass. Even so, it wouldn't have suited the Trinity's needs if the one chosen to champion their cause and bring the Neutral Path back to the world were to turn into a cosmic horror on her first day on the job.

Or, you know, ever.

So it was that when Ami rematerialized, standing atop a small platform of ice in the middle of her Dungeon Heart-turned-bubbling spring, she was largely unaltered from her original appearance. She still had the same number, arrangement, and proportion of body parts that she'd started with, her hair and skin hadn't changed color or form, and her odd costume still had its short skirt and excessive number of bows. The changes were mostly cosmetic, such as her uniform's oddly-styled collar and unimpressive shoulder sections turning into a full-fledged cloak and two spaulders of dramatic emphasis. The latter were composed almost entirely of a sort of crystal that ranged from sheer transparency to silvery translucence to opaque white, giving the impression that they'd been carved out of pure ice. That they were festooned with jagged spurs and upthrust icicle-like spikes and continually shed small, short-lived clouds of mist merely added to the effect. As for the cloak, it started with a collar of snow-white fur, flowed around the shoulder guards like rivers around tiny icebergs, and the plunged down on all sides as a waterfall of spun sapphire, ending in a "foam" of white fur about the girl's booted ankles. Small plates of silvery metal had been sewn or fused onto the backs of her gloves, a single blue jewel set into each over the top of the hand, glowing with eldritch potency; similar reinforcement adorned her boots, and her bodysuit gleamed in a way it hadn't before, but which reminded Horny vaguely of metallic armor.

The frozen crown with its curved, horn-like spikes of ice-metal and the inset sapphires that glowed with eldritch potency was a nice touch, but the overall effect was really more fey than fiendish, and just served to further aggravate Horny's already significant frustration. As anyone who's ever had the mixed fortune to live through an encounter with a frustrated Horned Reaper could attest, this was not a good thing. The demon's temper was not improved any when Mercury opened her eyes - glowing, but still blue, and so yet another thing to dance on Horny's last nerve - and spoke.

"Protected by the star of water and the sign of wisdom, Keeper Mercury is here! Adversaries of the Trinity, douse yourselves in water and repent, or in the name of Mercury, I'll punish you!"

There was a short pause, followed by the distinctive sound of a Horned Reaper's temper finally snapping:

"Grrrrrrrnnnnnnnrrrrrrgaaaaarrrrrrgh- DIE!"

Cue the explosion of fire, the roaring lunge, the two-handed windup to a massive, overhead scythe-blow that would surely divide the annoying ice-witch in twain, lengthwise-

"Shabon Spray Freezing!"

-follow up with the conditioned response of any magical girl with more than one combat encounter under her belt, when confronted by a rampaging Monster of the Day-

Shoom!

Crackle!

Thump.

-and conclude with Horny once again being frozen over. As if to add insult to injury, the raging Reaper's charge had carried him to the upper edge of the Dungeon Heart's concentric stairwell, where Mercury's attack froze him over in a very unstable, forward-leaning position, with a lot of momentum left over. Even as he gathered up the magic to blast himself free of the paralyzing skin of ice, Horny tipped over, skidded down the stairs and past the startled Keeper - who hastily leapt off of her small stage, which immediately melted away - tumbling headfirst into the pool of bubbling water.

Despite the added buoyancy of his ice coffin, Horny sank like a stone.

Mercury stood at the water's edge, staring warily down into the depths of her Dungeon Heart. After a moment passed without the Reaper resurfacing, she dug out her computer, activated her visor, and did a detailed analysis. She was not surprised to see that the demon was still trying to blast his way free, regardless of being head-down in several meters of water - he'd struck her as being just that determined, or perhaps just that insane - but the ice around him seemed to be drawing energy directly from the water, reinforcing itself faster and more thoroughly than the Reaper could damage it. This did produce a drain on her Heart's mana reserves, but in the face of the energy pouring into the artifact through its bond to her and the power of Mercury - a link that had been stabilized by her new transformation - the energy loss was negligible.

I guess I win, Mercury mused. What now?

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(Posted Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:20)


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