"What's necromancy?" asked Anko.
"Black magic," said Naruto, his eyes still closed as he held the spell to allow them to retreat immediately. "The opposite of healing magic. Magic that decays flesh, raises people from the grave as undead mockeries of what they were, and curses."
Noting the contempt in Naruto's voice, Anko decided she was going to talk to Naruto about her old sensei sometime.
"What's a ship doing here?" asked Kurenai, determining that this was not genjutsu.
"There's bones all around us," said Hinata. "I think this used to be a sea bed."
"Great," said Anko. "Well, let's just deal with this situation as true ninja."
"How's that?" asked Hinata.
"Stab everything, of course," said Anko with a particularly feral grin.
"I'll have everyone gather, with Sakura and Sasuke hiding so they can flank," said Yugao, reaching for her communicator.
Jiraiya poured tea, sat back in a chair at the table and admitted to himself that the years WERE catching up. Why, he could remember a time when this wouldn't have tired him that much at all. Not that he'd ever been in this situation before - but he was pretty sure that he could have done that when he'd had a few less decades accumulated and he wouldn't be feeling bone-weary.
Not that he wasn't also feeling a certain degree of pleased as well.
First things first though. Spying. He had to make sure these "dark elves" didn't emulate certain insects by eating males after sex. That would require him to escape the city with all due speed as, while the bed partners sprawled out nearby were good - nobody was THAT good.
And if they did NOT include such practices, then he would have to maintain cordial relations with these girls. Maybe get them to move to the Land Of Fire. There was that one village that had been wiped out during the War. Nobody had moved back there due to rumors of ghosts. He'd spent considerable time camping there, and knew the rumors weren't true - so it MIGHT work out all around.
He'd have to see. And if things DID work out, then adding 'liason to hot elven women' to his resume sounded about right.
The ship was old and falling apart, as would be expected of a ship that had sailed the Howling Desert when it was actually a lake or something similar.
"ARRRH!" screamed a skeletal figure as he pointed at the group. "It be a ninja, three wenches, a dog and a mage!"
"Only ONE ninja?" asked Anko.
"Oh, sorry," said the pirate-zombie. "I didna see ye there. And one crossdresser!"
"CROSSDRESSER?!" exclaimed the instantly incensed Anko, whipping her trenchcoat off. "WHAT DO YOU CALL THESE?!"
"Funbags," said another zombie-ninja.
"Boobies," said a skeletal pirate.
"Has someone seen me eyes, I dropped 'em just now," complained the zombie-pirate-lookout.
"Jugs!" said the cabinboy-zombie.
"Milky orbs," said another zombie.
"Magnificent," said a bony zombie who apparently had a little self-preservation instinct still intact.
Anko pointed to that zombie. "That's the one we'll spare long enough to interrogate."
"You're right, that one appears to be the brains," murmurred Kurenai.
"The rest are just blind, dead, and dumb," agreed Anko.
"Wha?" asked a stunned-looking Kiba, still staring at something besides zombie pirates.
Kurenai muttered something about Anko putting her top back on before Kiba was scarred for life.
Anko grumbled and grabbed a couple handfuls of kunai.
Akamaru arfed questioningly.
"And wha do ye plan on doing with yer arsenal of stabby violence?" asked the pirate captain menacingly. "We be undead! Slashy or pointy little bits don't do diddly squat!"
"ARRRR!" said the pirate crew.
"We kill the dog, slaughter ye mage, the ninja, and the boy, and then have ye wenches to serve our scurvy crew," boasted the pirate captain. "What do ye think of that?!"
"HEY," said Yugao, a little miffed herself. "I'm a girl too!"
"Are ye sure?" asked the pirate. "Me eyes aren't quite what they used to be when I was alive ye know."
Yugao drew her sword. "Frostbrand." The longsword began to glow with a fitful white radiance.
"Cap'n," said the mostly skeletal fellow who had the self-preservation instinct, "I think the lass has a magic sword."
"Yer point bein', Mister Schroedinger?" asked the zombie with the ornate hat.
"Normal pointy and slashy isn't too effective on us, Cap'n," pointed out Schroedinger, ignoring the way his zombie pirate cat was on a nearby rail hissing at the ninja dog. "Seeing as how we're neither really alive or really dead, but sort of a bit of both. The whole 'undead' thing, if you be getting my drift. Magic swords are a bit more effective."
"Ye be drifting out of the patois that we be supposed to use, ye scurvy dog," said the captain.
"And there's also the fact that they've taken this opportunity to board the ship," pointed out Schroedinger.
The pirate captain blinked, turned around, and his jaw dropped. Which necessitated that he bend over and pick it up off the deck and fit it into place. "Why be ye just standing around staring like that?!"
"Because the gal in the trenchcoat just flashed us again when she jumped up here," mumbled a skeleton.
"Get them!" ordered the Captain, drawing a sword from his belt scabbard.
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(Posted Sun, 19 Sep 2010 16:36)
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