Akane almost got lost in the torrent of information that her fiancé: dumped on her, but she still got the basic gist of things: Amaterasu seemed willing to treat Ranma with the respect he deserved, therefore, she got the benefit of a doubt, and by the same token, the Amazons apparently would have been treating Ranma with that level of respect if Nodoka hadn’t cornered them into acting sneaky. Ranma finished up his presentation by demonstrating how he could change genders at will—a much simpler “think about it and it happens” process that allowed him to keep his clothes on (which was fortunate, since the detransformation light show hadn’t quite been enough to prevent Akane from getting an admittedly short glimpse at her fiancé’s nude female form, and the events of the last hour had probably strained her ability to suppress her pervert-bashing reflex to its limit). “So, any questions?”
Akane scratched her head. “Um, no… well, none that have to be answered right away…”
“You sure?”
“Well, there is one thing.”
“And that is…?”
“Are you really going to carry that katana around everywhere? I mean, it does look… suspicious, and there’s probably lots of places where you won’t be allowed to take a weapon like that, even if it is sheathed.”
“Not a problem,” Ranma replied. “Watch this.” He sheathed the katana and held it up in front of him, his right hand on the hilt and his left on the tip of the scabbard. After a brief period of concentration, the sword began to glow slightly, and Ranma brought his hands together. The saya seemed to collapse into the handle (along with, presumably, the blade contained within) until Ranma stopped at the tsuba. He then flipped the remaining 20-centimeter stub into the air before catching it and placing it into his pants pocket.
“See? Convenient travel size.”
“Convenient? Ranma, half of it is sticking out of your pocket.”
“Look, that was me trying to look cool, alright? I’m probably just going to keep it in my backpack. In any case, I’m the only one who can make that blade reappear, so nobody else is gonna use it as a weapon.”
“Wait, if it’s collapsible, why did Nodoka keep it in that bundle?”
“According to Amaterasu, she never asked about ways to make it easier to carry.”
“Super. So, um… you said that Shampoo is going to be your sidekick?”
“Uh-huh. Why? Is that going to be a problem.”
“Um, well, no… I mean, not really….”
“Akane, I can’t read your mind. Spit it out.”
“Well, it’s just… did you know you were getting a sidekick when you agreed to this whole magical girl thing?”
“Uh, no. Amaterasu just hinted that the Amazons had some important things to tell me.”
“But if you had known about it, would you have still gone along with it.”
Ranma thought to himself for a few seconds before answering. “Yeah, probably. I mean, Shampoo’s been training to do this for a long time—it seems kind of silly not to give her a chance.”
“Oh,” Akane replied. “I see.” Once again, Ranma had inadvertently managed to avoid answering her super-important indirect question by giving a reasonable, straightforward answer to her direct one.
“Hey, that reminds me…”
“Yes?” Akane asked, hoping against hope that Ranma was about to say something really, really significant.
“Shampoo’s gonna be coming over tomorrow to talk about her costume—she had a few ideas, but she was waiting to see mine before she started thinking seriously about it. You wanna help out? I mean, fashion and clothes and stuff aren’t really my thing.”
“Huh? Oh, uh, sure thing, Ranma.”
“Great! Well, see ya later.”
“Where are you going?”
“Ucchan’s. Gotta tell her about this, too.”
“She’s in Osaka, remember? Family business?”
“Oh, right. I wonder what that was about?”
Meanwhile, in Osaka…
“Are you out of your mind?!”
Ukyo’s temporary absence from the neighborhood meant that Ranma’s evening was suddenly free, so he called up the Amazons in order to set up a meeting with Mousse so he could find out what his apparently-compelling story was. He was on his way outside (pointedly ignoring his still-incredulous mother, who was still standing in the Tendos’ living room) when he suddenly found himself corralled by his fiancée’s more unscrupulous sister.
“Hey, Ranma, do you have a minute?”
Ranma lowered his eyelids suspiciously; Nabiki rarely addressed him in such friendly terms unless she was plotting something. “I don’t really have much time.”
“This won’t take long. I just wanted to pitch an idea to you.”
“‘Pitch an idea’?”
“You know, a potential business proposition.”
Ranma sighed. “Listen, Nabiki, I’ve got enough on my plate with this magical girl deal without you interfering.”
“Interfering? Why would I do that?”
“I dunno. Just seems like the kind of thing you like to do.”
“I’m hurt, Saotome—I really am. I’ll have you know that I have absolutely no intention of getting in your way. If anything, I’m hoping to clear some obstacles for you…”
Unfortunately, Ranma had heard that impish tone of voice before. “Alright, what cockamamie get-rich-quick scheme are you trying to pull on me this time? I’m gonna have enough trouble keeping Pops’ grubby mitts off my money without dealing with the likes of you.”
“Hmph. First of all, this isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme, it’s a get-insanely-wealthy-over-a-long-period-of-time scheme. Second of all, it’s not actually a scheme, because I’m going to be doing it openly. Third, and most importantly, I would be the one shouldering most, if not all, of the financial risk in this proposed arrangement, for which I will naturally get a larger percentage of the eventual reward.”
Ranma sighed—he had to admit, he was curious about what Nabiki actually had in mind, but past experience had taught him that curiosity was particularly dangerous when she got involved. “Alright,” he finally said, “what is it?”
“Merchandising.”
“Huh?”
“Ranma, the average superhero gets most of his or her income from licensing his or her image to toy companies, movie studios, video game companies, and the like. It’s an insanely lucrative field, and as the Taiyohime, you just might provide me with a way in, if you let me become your agent-slash-manager”
“And that means…”
“I handle all of your endorsement deals, public appearances, licensing opportunities for you, so you can concentrate on world-saving. And as an added bonus, if you screw up, I’ll be there to spin the story to put you in the best light possible. I’ll do all the legwork, and all you need to do is build up your reputation as a magical girl.”
“And if I don’t like something you set up?”
“You don’t have to do it. Remember, I’ll be working for you, Saotome—it’s in my best interests to make sure you’re happy.”
Ranma had to admit that the idea of Nabiki using her talents in his service was quite appealing. “Keep going…”
“Best of all, I’m not even going to charge you for my PR services—you’ll be completely covered by the percentage I’ll be taking from your merchandising profits.”
“Ha! I knew it! This is a plan to steal half my money behind my back, isn’t it?”
“I am not going to be stealing anything.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. You see, it’s not stealing if you agree to that as my fee from the outset.”
“You want half of my money?”
“No, I only want about 35 percent of your income from licensing and merchandising. The stipend you’re going to get from Amaterasu doesn’t even enter into the picture.”
“I thought agents only got ten percent.”
“Normally, yes, but I’m doing more than that. Trust me, Saotome.”
“Why the hell would I trust you? I’ve been living with you for a year.”
“True, but this is the first time that I’m actually going to need your cooperation. So, what do you say?”
Ranma paused. “I don’t know…”
Nabiki sighed and shoved a stack of papers into his hand. “Look, here’s the contract I prepared. Hire a lawyer or two to look over it. If there’s any loopholes in there I could exploit, they’ll find it. Sounds good?”
Ranma sighed in resignation. “Well, I suppose it can’t hurt to have somebody look over it.”
“Great… but can you do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Can you get that done before the villain tryouts? If I’m going to be your manager, I want to sit in on that so I can make sure your antagonist is appropriately marketable.”
“Uh, sure, why not?”
“Thanks, Ranma. I’ll see you later.”
Ranma shrugged his shoulders—he could figure this mess out later. For now, he had one more Amazon to talk to.
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(Posted Mon, 20 Dec 2010 00:45)
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