Shampoo smiled as she walked into the kitchen. “Hibachan! I found yummy piglet!”
Cologne smiled and looked up. “Oh, that is lucky. Pa Fum is being a bit slow with the ramen, so you can just put him into the pot.”
“Okay!” Shampoo sang, holding the squirming pig over the boiling water.
Ryoga looked at the boiling pot under him and sighed. This is all Ranma’s fault! Well, at least it’s almost over. And then he was in the water.
Shampoo jumped back as the water exploded out and a man appeared. “Ry-Ryoga!?” she yelped.
“THAT’S HOT!” Ryoga bellowed; then something hit him from behind. He ended up face down with a gnome on his head.
“Who are you?” Cologne asked softly, her cane at Ryoga’s throat.
“Airen!” Both Cologne and Shampoo turned to see the usually demure Pa Fum drop a heavy batch of ramen noodles in utter shock.
Cologne blinked. “So this is the mysterious Ryoga, hmm?” She looked him over. “Strong back, fit body, not too bright. He’ll be a good husband.”
Shampoo made her own inspection and blushed bright red. “Aiyah. Pa Fum lucky. Shampoo hope airen have good..back too.”
Ryoga blinked at the newcomer. “You’re that crazy girl from China,” he said, confusion making him forget his predicament.
“Oh my, you kicked him?” Kasumi worried. “Akane, what possessed you to do something like that?”
Akane fumed. “You didn’t see him, Kasumi. The jerk had Ryoga tied up in his own legs and was bouncing him around like a hackysack. What was I supposed to do, just let him bully the guy?”
Kasumi pursed her lips. “That doesn’t sound like Ranma. He was very respectful towards that Mousse boy and Uncle Saotome’s girlfriend.”
Akane twitched at the thought of Shampoo and Genma together. “That doesn’t change what I saw!”
Kasumi didn’t really have an answer for that and just looked troubled. “I hope he has an answer.”
“MARRIED!?” Ryoga shrieked, staring at the girl they called Perfume. “What the hell are you going on about?”
Perfume shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She, her airen, and Elder Cologne were in one of the back rooms. They each had a bowl of ramen, about half eaten, and had been explaining who they were to Ryoga. And it had been going so well…
“Yes, married,” Cologne declared somewhat more crossly than she intended. “You defeated her in honest combat and she gave you the kiss of marriage. You are husband and wife.”
Ryoga just gaped at the girl. She was probably merely pretty where she was from, but she was exotic to his eyes. Long pink tresses, a slim, unmuscled build, nice curves, wide brown eyes. Oh what happiness that life would deliver such a beauty to him!
Cologne waved a shriveled hand before Ryoga’s eyes. “He seems to have fainted sitting up,” she muttered. “Too bad it wasn’t this easy to hook Ranma.”
Ryoga blinked and roared, “RANMA!? Where?”
Perfume eeped and slid partway under the table to hide. “Airen is scary.”
“Hmmm. Tell me, boy, what is Ranma to you?” Cologne asked.
Ryoga scowled and started his long, long tale.
Ranma kicked off his shoes as he entered the Tendo home. “Tadaima!”
Kasumi walked in from the kitchen and smiled. “Ranma! Welcome home. How was your day?”
“Not bad,” Ranma said with a bit of a shrug, holding up the book Nodoka gave him. “Got a new book for Nabs. Ryoga finally made good on his challenge.”
“Yes, I heard about that,” Kasumi said pleasantly.
Ranma sweatdropped. “You talked with Akane.”
“I talked with Akane.”
Ranma hung his head and sighed. “He attacked me. I didn’t have a choice but to fight him.”
Kasumi blinked once and smiled. “Okay!” she said happily, heading back into the kitchen.
Ranma followed her with his eyes, stunned. “…what?” he finally asked.
Nabiki appeared on the stairs with her patented smirk. “A thousand yen and I’ll answer you, Saotome.”
Ranma looked up and smirked back. “You owe me two thousand for delivery of the book.”
Nabiki rubbed her chin. “The answer and two-fifty for the book.”
“Five hundred.”
“Three hundred and we cuddle.”
“Deal,” Ranma said with a firm nod, heading up the stairs. A few minutes later the book was away, he and Nabiki were cuddling, and he had slightly reduced the cost of Nabiki’s next ice cream binge. Hey, no one said dating the Ice Queen was cheap. “So, what was with Kasumi?”
“Well it’s pretty clear that you didn’t go overboard humiliating Ryoga like Akane thinks,” Nabiki said calmly. “And she knows better than to try and get you to not rub it in a little when you beat him.”
Ranma blinked. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“You make it sound so…simple.”
Nabiki tried to squirm a bit deeper into Ranma’s grip. “Kasumi’s one of the kindest, most understanding, simply nice girls you’ll ever meet. She has a knack for making things simple.”
Ranma worked that over in his head. “Ryoga isn’t gonna leave Akane alone,” he said at last. “The guy barely has a home of his own, and every time he wanders by here Akane takes her pet piggy and pampers him.”
Nabiki scowled in thought. “Akane can’t handle that. She trusts you more than most guys, and that’s saying something.”
Ranma winced. “That all boys in a three block radius of her need to be on guard at all times. So what do we do about it?”
“Trust building exercises,” Nabiki said firmly. “You’re her sensei. Teach her to trust you. And do it fast; I want her healthy enough to take P-chan away fast.”
“No argument,” Ranma agreed grimly.
“A training journey?” Ryoga asked skeptically.
Cologne nodded. “The Rite of Learning will judge your worth to the Joketsuzoku. Normally that isn’t necessary, but given your…wanderings…”
Ryoga’s mouth twitched and he looked to Perfume. “I’m flattered, but I need to defeat Ranma before I can think about settling down.”
Perfume nodded sadly. “Perfume understands. Perfume plain, uninteresting, bad fighter. Unimportant.”
Ryoga jumped and sweatdropped. “No it’s not like that it’s just…I…uh…you aren’t going to cry…are you?”
“Well shouldn’t I!?”
Cologne sighed. “Now now, you two.” She gives Ryoga a sidelong look. “You could never defeat my son-in-law as you are now. I’m offering to train you, as I did him.”
Ryoga blinked and looked to Perfume’s suddenly hopeful expression. He smiled slightly. “Heh. Looks like I don’t have a choice.”
“A training journey?” Akane asked skeptically.
Ranma nodded. “We’ve got a break from school, and Nabiki tells me you don’t have anything planned.”
“Why didn’t you just ask me?” Akane asked suspiciously.
“Because I am the teacher, and you are the student,” Ranma said seriously. “A true martial artist must train under many different situations. We will take this opportunity to put your skills to a true test. Gather your gear. We leave for the mountain in the morning.”
Akane blinked and looked to Soun. “Daddy?”
Soun nodded, his face a mask of responsibility. “It is as Ranma says. You should get your camping things together. It is an excellent opportunity for sensei and student to come closer.”
After Akane left to get her things, Soun glanced at Nabiki. “It is also an excellent opportunity for engaged couples to grow closer.”
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(Posted Sat, 06 Nov 2010 01:25)
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