Coupled Union - Wild Endurance: Dealing With Lum's Friends [Episode 244427]

by Gorgo

H.M.C. Spacedock #112, the jetty (Welland time: 6:38 PM, Tōkyō time: 8:38 AM)…

"…breaking news out of Nerima, one of the special city wards of Tōkyō," the CNN news reporter stated as people watched on the television set in the wardroom aboard Fort Erie. "Japan became the second nation outside Canada to have a close encounter of the third kind when two natives of the planet Uru arrived on the front lawn of a local high school…and in an altercation whose exact circumstances are still unclear to authorities at this time, a local high school student, Akane Tendō, age 17, now finds herself married by Urusian law to one of the visitors, identified by the United Nations Special Committee on Alien Activities as Ran Aruka, Earth age 17, native of the Urusian colony world of Shingetsu, close to their spinward border…"

"Huh?! Ran's here?! And she's married to Akane?!"

"What happened, Darling?"

Tariko looked over from her chair to see Lum — now dressed in naval combat dress with an orange epaulette slip on decorated with tiger stripes to identify her home world; her hair was done up in a very beautiful bun on the back of her head — walk into the room. "This thing on CNN, Lum. Did you know you ex was coming by for a visit?"

Lum jolted. "Rei?!" she spat out before looking at the screen, which now showed a familiar and quite handsome green-haired Oni man standing amidst a crowd of gushing young Japanese high school students in white blouses and blue jumper skirts. "What's he doing here?! He's supposed to be on frontier patrol near Toshitto!"

"Looks like he just got the word of you getting married, Lum," Benten then said. Unlike the others aboard Fort Erie, the Fukunokami biker-girl was still in her normal battle bikini with chains. "Ran came right after him and she got hitched, too!"

Lum turned to stare wide-eyed at her best friend. "HUH?!"


Nerima, the Tendō home…

"OH, MY!"

A wide-eyed Tendō Kasumi could only stare in shock at the screen as the local NHK station showed events happening now not a few hundred metres away. "…several students currently attending Fūrinkan High School confirm that Tendō Akane, a sophomore at Fūrinkan and the youngest daughter of ward councillor and dōjō owner Tendō Sōun, was in the midst of being challenged by many male schoolmates in a martial arts duel when Captain Seq Rei, an Urusian frontier fighter pilot and reported former fiancée of Redet Lum, arrived on the grounds looking for her. Shortly arriving afterward was Rei-taii's would-be paramour, Aruka Ran, who — when she was caught in an attack unleashed on Rei-taii by senior student Kunō Tatewaki, son of missing Fūrinkan school principal Kunō Godai — exchanged blood through a cut lip and a cut tongue with Akane-san, thus solidifying a marriage bond per Urusian law with Ran-san…"

"What…?"

Kasumi gasped, and then she looked at Sōun, who was standing near the living room table and staring wide-eyed at the television screen. "Otō-san…"

The NHK reporter continued. "…to Akane-san's elder sister, Tendō Nabiki, Akane-san did acknowledge what happened with Ran-san and formally asked for her hand in holy matrimony. Now, given that Japan doesn't have laws concerning same-sex marriage, how such would be recognised here in our country remains to be seen, but as one can see from the pictures…" — they were now showing a blushing Akane and an equally-blushing Ran holding hands as they gazed on each other, now surrounded by gushing female classmates while some male classmates were in the background, crying their eyes out — "…one cannot deny the honour and decency of Akane-san's actions…"

That did it.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY LITTLE BABY IS MARRIED TO AN ALIEN GIRL! THE SCHOOLS WILL NEVER BE JOINED NOW! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Kasumi sighed as she ducked the waterfall of tears coming from her father…


At the Saotome home…

Nodoka was trying desperately not to fall on her backside and laugh her ass off at this new twist in the overall move to keep her husband and Sōun's idiot plan to "unite the schools" of Musabetsu Kakutō-ryū. It was hard though, but she endured it.

After all, it simply was NOT lady-like…


And at Chaos Cen-…ahem! Fūrinkan High School…

"Kanami-chan! You're late!"

Kanami jolted on hearing that voice, and then she turned as an aged and diminutive form walked up to her, an annoyed look on his face. "Oh, Ojii-san! Sorry! I was about to come over to see you, but we got distracted!" She waved over in emphasis.

Happōsai blinked, and then he looked over to see what had to be a VERY well-formed girl — an Avalonian, he was quick to sense thanks to her ki signature — with tapered ears and really luscious rose-red hair now holding the hands of one of the two other people he considered competent enough to carry on the legacy of his Art. "Well, hot-cha!" the aged grandmaster then whooped as his eyes danced up and down to take in all that was Aruka Ran. "Where the heck did little Akane-chan pick up THAT hot number?!"

"Actually, it was because of him!" Kanami said as she indicated Rei, who was still surrounded by a bunch of gushing Fūrinkan High girls with bentō for him to eat. "He's Lum's ex-fiancé, Seq Rei. She's Aruka Ran, one of Lum's childhood friends and she has it really hard for Rei, there. But when the Shooting Ego got involved and hit Ran with a ki-wave from his bokken, she slammed into Akane. She got a bit tongue, Akane got a cut lip and their blood mixed. Among her tribe on Uru, that's a marriage bond."

Hearing that, Happōsai blinked, and then he chuckled. "Damn! I've heard of some weird things in my life, but that takes the cake!" He then hummed before he stared at Kunō Tatewaki, who was still standing off to one side, his whole body frozen still as he still stared at his "fierce tigress" now openly declaring her desire to MARRY another WOMAN…and an ALIEN atop that! "Well, I knew this whole stupid business had to be stopped sooner or later! Who knows WHAT could've happened to poor Akane-chan if that kept up! Oh, well…" With that, he bounded over to land daintily on Akane's shoulder, which made her jolt and Ran bolt back in shock. "Good morning, Akane-chan!"

Akane looked over, and then she blushed. "Oh, Ojii-chan, 'morning!"

"Had a busy day, I take it?"

A blush and nod. "Hai!" She then waved Ran back up. "Ran, this is Happōsai. He's the grandmaster of my martial arts school, Musabetsu Kakutō-ryū. Ojii-chan, this is Aruka Ran of the planet Uru. She's very good friends with the Oni girl that Ranma just challenged over in Canada, Redet Lum. She came here because Lum-san's ex-fiancé isn't taking her marriage to Moroboshi Tariko so well, but…well…" She then thumbed over to Kunō. "Thanks to the Shooting Ego here, we…um…"

"Got married," Ran finished for her new wife.

"Ah, yeah!"

Both girls laughed in embarrassment, though they did reach over to hold the other's hand. Happōsai hummed, and then he gave Akane a knowing look. "I take it…"

"She did," Akane confirmed with a whisper.

"Gotcha!" He then hopped down to give Ran an appraising look. The alien woman was quick to note that, so she shifted herself around to show herself off. "Damn! Akane-chan, you have really excellent taste here!" the aged grandmaster then stated. "Well, if you want approval — since your father's too damned incompetent to GIVE any approval in the first place! — you have my permission to marry this fine young lady here."

Akane blinked, and then she beamed. "Oh, thank you, Ojii-chan!" she gushed before she swept Ran into her arms so they could kiss. And there's MUCH more where this is coming from…intended, the youngest Tendō then thought.

«Can't wait,» the Seishin-Urusian teen purred in delight…


The Tendō home…

"THE MASTER?!"

Still seated in front of the television, Kasumi watched over her shoulder as Sōun and Genma faced each over the go board, both now white-faced and sweating bullets. "It's true, Saotome-kun!" Sōun moaned. "I saw him on the television! He's at the school now with Akane-chan and that replica of Ranma-kun! He actually said he APPROVED of Akane-chan being m-…m-…m-…married to that alien girl…!" He then shuddered before collapsing on his butt. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My little girl's marrying an ALIEN! The schools will never be joined…!"

"Um, Otō-san…"

Sōun jolted, and then he turned to stare at his eldest child. "Wh-what…?"

"I've always wondered this: How on Earth could the schools be united when they were never separated in the first place?" Kasumi asked with her normal innocent smile, though her eyes did flash with a hint of malice. "After all, I asked Happōsai-ojiisan himself this five years ago, right after Tariko-san's nice sister Negako-sama found him and freed him from that cave you and Oji-san trapped him in!" As the fathers both balked on hearing THAT, she stood to head into the kitchen. "He never GRANTED either of you masteries in the Art, so there are NO separated schools! Anything you say otherwise won't be accepted as the truth; everyone in Nerima knows that by now."

Stunned silence fell over the scene as Kasumi went back to preparing lunch…


Aboard Fort Erie

"You want to go over there?!" Shinobu asked.

A nod. "I have to!" Benten stated. Everyone was now standing on the corvette's bridge. "Look, Shinobu, Ran-chan's always had a hard life compared to Lum, Oyuki or me! Sure, she's turned out a lot better after Damasu persuaded her to become an Avalonian, but she's got a temper that puts even MINE to shame and she'll really freak out if the right buttons get pushed! Especially if this Kunō jerk decides he doesn't want the girl of his sick dreams taken away by an ALIEN of all people! He tries anything against Ran, she'll do everything under Bensaiten's Grave to get back at him! I don't want to see the poor girl get charged with murder of all things!"

The others stared at her, and then Lum sighed. "Benten's right, Shinobu. I'm happy Ran-chan's got a bond-mate, but if she has to fight for her, she'll fight dirty and she'll do anything to win. We need someone there to calm her down."

"And Kunō's too damned stupid not to realise he's outclassed," Ranma warned. "Try as Akane might to make him see she doesn't want anything to do with him, he won't listen. Twists it around in his head to make him think she's playing hard to get or something really stupid like that! And since his family's one of the richest ones in the whole of Nerima, he thinks he can damn hell get away with it, too!"

Shinobu sighed. "Alright! Hiromi?!"

Tamachi Hiromi looked over from her station. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Signal Japanese Space Self-Defence Headquarters on Starbase Edo," the commander then ordered. "I need to speak to Admiral Umezu."

"Aye-aye, Cap'n!"


Fūrinkan High School…

"THIS IS WRONG!"

Everyone jolted on hearing that bellowed scream, and then they turned to see a shivering kendō-ka standing near where Kunō was, still frozen in place and clearly out of it. "Oh, hell," Nabiki hissed from nearby. "Looks like it's not over yet, Akane."

Akane blinked. "What do you want, Takuichi?!" she demanded

Takuichi Daikun was the number-two man in the school kendō club. As good a fighter as Kunō Tatewaki, the sophomore always deferred to the older student out of a sense of honour and loyalty since he had NEVER got the chance to date anyone. "THIS!" he yelled as he pointed in accusation at Ran. "This alien MONSTER shows up out of NOWHERE and then proclaims that you, Tendō Akane, are her WIFE just because of a FLUKE?! An ACCIDENT caused without intent by Kunō-sempai?! NO! I, Takuichi Daikun, will not allow this! I CHALLENGE YOU, GAKI! IF YOU FALL, YOU RENOUNCE TENDŌ AKANE FOREVER!"

Kunō jolted, and then he looked over at his number-two, pride and admiration shining in his eyes. "Daikun-san…"

"No, Sempai! I will not allow you to debase yourself with this creature!"

Kunō chuckled. "I will never question your devotion and honour, my friend! But there is one small problem: What sort of concession will you give Ran-san if SHE wins?!"

Takuichi blinked, and then he churlishly smiled. "Why, she can date me, of course!"

"Date you…?!"

Both — as well as the others in the Horde — began to shake on hearing that space-cold voice. "Ran…!" Akane gasped on seeing the battle aura form around the rose-haired alien as she glared with the intensity of a nova at the man who had challenged her.

"Date you…?" Ran hissed as she took one step towards the Horde, which made many of them suddenly back off, though Takuichi and Kunō stood their ground. "Why in the name of my most holy ancestors would I stoop myself to date would-be RAPISTS?!"

Silence.

More silence.

Still more silence.

And then…

"RAPISTS?!" all the Horde screamed out in shock…


On Fort Erie

"I think we made a mistake."

Lum looked over. "What do you mean, Darling?"

Tariko grinned. "Ran may be borderline crazy, but she's one really smart cookie!"

The Oni blinked as she gazed at her wife, and then she giggled. "True…"

"Um, Commander…?"

Shinobu looked over. "Yes, Hitomi?"

"Do we call Shigaten-san back?" Tamachi Hiromi asked; Benten had just blasted off from the corvette not a minute before on her space-bike.

"Let her go, Hiromi-san," Lum stated. "Benten may be more scrap-happy than a drunk landshark, but she can keep cool, too!"

The senior naval signalman then smiled. "You say so, Lum-san…"


Fūrinkan High…

"VILE ALIEN! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE US OF SUCH THINGS?!" Kunō thundered.

"Well, what in the Maidens' Names would you call constantly attacking a lone woman — even if she IS very good at hand-to-hand combat — every day for the last THREE months?!" Ran snarled back. "You let all THESE dick-less wonders attack her en masse while you wait behind a tree in some strange hopes that Akane would be worn down enough so that when it came YOUR turn to fight her, she'd be tired and weak and thus easy to take down! And it doesn't take a professor in metaphysics to figure out what you would do after you did defeat her! FORCE her on a date, probably pump her full of some drug to loosen her inhibitions and then it's off to the nearest sex-hotel!" She then took another step towards them, making the Horde cringe back even more. "And once you took away something Akane can never have again, what then?! Trick her father into agreeing for her to marry you?! Abandon her on some street once she gets pregnant with your child?! What's it going to be, relav'sh?!" she hissed out a very vile Urusian insult, which made Rei blink before he morphed into ushitora form and joined his would-be wife in glaring intently at the boys nearby. "Do you really have honour?!"

As horrified gasps escaped all the people around them — especially all the girls — Kunō and the Horde soon found themselves facing a storm of ugly looks, not to mention finding themselves facing the eye of the world thanks to the two NHK cameras that were now pointing their ways as the news people beside them relayed what they were seeing to audiences all throughout Japan and the world beyond. As Kunō shuddered, trying to muster up a sufficient reply, Ran then straightened herself, crossing her arms.

"I don't have honour."

All the boys gasped.

"I don't because honour is nothing more than something weak, pathetic idiots like YOU use to prey on decent people!" Ran snarled, canines glittering in the morning sun as she raised her right hand, thumb and index finger poised to snap. "I don't have honour because it gets in the way of doing business! And because I don't have honour…!"

SNAP!

"I will always win!" Ran said as lightning came down…

…to reveal a company's worth of ball-jointed dolls shaped like the Seishin girl, dressed in frilly blouses and skirts, aprons over them. "Doll-U.nit-re.por.ting-as-or.dered,-Mis.tress. What-tar.get-would-you-wish-to-des.troy?" they chanted as one.

Ran waved forward at the Horde, who were all blinking in shock on seeing these toys appear before them. "Those boys right there! They're planning to rape my wife!"

All the dolls blinked, and then their eyes glowed. "Des.troy-ra.pists! Des.troy-ra.pists! Des.troy-ra.pists! Des.troy-ra.pists! Des.troy-ra.pists!" they all chanted as their legs suddenly became rockets as they blasted off right at the Horde!

"DUCK!" Kanami screamed.

Everyone hit the dirt — even Rei — as the dolls made contact…


Approaching Nerima from the northeast…

"OH, FUCK! RAN, YOU CRAZY IDIOT!" Benten screamed out as a flash of light burst out from the north-eastern part of the city of Tōkyō itself as she raced for it…


Fūrinkan High…

"Um…Ran-chan?"

"Hai, Nabiki-san?"

"Remind me NEVER to get you angry at me for ANY reason whatsoever!"

Ran blinked, and then she leaned over to her now sister-in-law. "Nabiki, the day you become an Avalonian and you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'll feel the same way if something like this happened," she said, keeping her voice low as everyone around them gaped at the burned and VERY unconscious pile of boys now slammed up against the west wall and front stairs of the school building.

"That's one of the things that scares me about your kind," Nabiki whispered back.

Suddenly, air jets thundered through the sky. "RAN!"

Ran looked up, and then she waved. "Hi, Benten!"

Benten came down, hitting the thrusters on her space-bike to brake her landing as she looked to her left at the smoking pile of burnt flesh nearby. Noting some movement in that bunch, she then breathed out. "Damn!" she said before turning to glare intently at her old middle school classmate. "You used the stun-bombs, right?!"

"Of course I did! I'm not stupid enough to use frag-bombs or tac-nukes!" Ran snapped.

Silence.

More silence.

Still more silence.

And then…

"TACTICAL NUCLEAR WARHEADS?!"

That was a now-totally white Gosunkugi Hikaru, who had been standing a distance away from the rest of the Horde. Benten stared at the skinny runt, and then she shrugged. "What can I say?! You'd be amazed at what can be picked up at that arms dealer on Sakusei Station!" She then relaxed before she gazed on Ran. "Hey, Ran…"

"What?"

Benten nodded to Akane. "You are one lucky little bitch, you know that?!"

As the youngest Tendō found herself blushing, her new wife grinned. "Naturally."

The two alien women exchanged looks, and then they laughed. Watching them from their places around Rei — who was STILL eating the bentô offered to him — Sayuri and Yuka then exchanged a knowing look. "She's going to marry Akane?" the former mused.

"That means she's coming to school HERE!" the latter stated.

Hearing THAT, all the girls whooped in delight as we now…

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(Posted Tue, 25 Jan 2011 21:23)


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