Akane scoffed out loud. “Oh, come on. Those clowns can’t possibly be that perverted.”
Ranma smirked. “Well, that’s sort of a matter of, you know, perspective.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, for example, compared to Kodachi, Hiroshi and Daisuke are actually pretty tame.”
A quick glance over at the gymnast in question revealed her to be a bit put out, but that was likely due to her not being included on the mental conference call, since she was actually quite open about her personal kinks. Ranma continued, “By your standards, however….”
“Oh, how bad could it possibly be?”
Ranma raised an eyebrow, and, after sorting through the collection of rather vivid imagery he’d picked up from his friends, he selected one that he thought was pretty typical of their fantasies and transmitted it.
Akane’s eyes widened as she brought her hand to her mouth in an effort to hold back the vomit that had threatened to escape from her throat. Her thoughts were as choked up as she was. What the… how… why…
“Now that is perverted,” Ukyo said.
“That’s disgusting!” Akane shouted as she finally regained her composure. “Nabiki’s my sister! Why would we… ugh…”
Well, some of my Tribeswomen have told me that particular act can be mutually pleasurable.
You aren’t helping, Shampoo, Akane replied. “But seriously,” she continued aloud, “why would anybody find that interesting?”
Because you’re good-looking, Nabiki’s good-looking, and Hiroshi and Daisuke think that lesbian incest is hot. Hell, Daisuke once made the mistake of suggesting that my Mom and “Ranko” might make a nice pair—only reason I didn’t beat him to a pulp was that I know that he doesn’t really expect any of his fantasies to actually happen. Well, that, and he didn’t know I was in earshot at the time.
“Ugh… I think I’m gonna be sick….”
“Not on my floor, please. Mousse just waxed it,” Cologne said.
“I demand that you show me this mental image, Ranma-sama,” Kodachi stated with all the authority she could muster. “It sounds quite intriguing.”
“You do that and you’ll get more than just a mallet to the head,” Akane said. She didn’t even want to think about how the gymnast’s warped brain would respond to that.
“Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna show that to Kodachi. I got more than enough exposure to her fantasies last evening to know what she’d do with it.”
“Hmph. I should think you’d be flattered that I would offer to think of your person during my night rituals of self-renewal.”
“Do I even want to know what those are?”
Masturbation, Ranma frankly answered.
“I thought I didn’t.”
Welcome to reality, little girl, Shampoo stated.
Shut up.
Urd was not happy. She had long ago determined that none of the young women of Nerima was truly deserving of Ranma’s affections, and had been trying to counteract their influence for a while now. She’d even sent her hero on several blind dates (under the pretense that they were “missions” to help lonely girls who had “self-esteem issues”), but had thus far gotten nowhere. And now her sister had to go and make him the operator of a telepathic party line to which they were all invited?
Okay, so technically Belldandy had just fixed a some powerful (but sloppy) djinn magic so the teenagers could keep some semblance of privacy, but it was the principle involved, dammit! Now, they all had a better chance of snagging him, which would leave some more deserving girl all alone.
The would-be love goddess took a swig of sake as she stared at the small television set, watching some gloriously stupid shonen anime that featured sweaty, bare-chested martial artists beating the tar out each other. C’mon Urd… think! There’s got to be a way out of this. And sure enough, within seconds, an idea came. “Of course!”
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(Posted Sun, 20 Mar 2011 05:33)
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