Not quickly enough though, as one leg had fallen asleep.
Naruto's voice carried an annoyed tone. "Oh yeah. Well, I just wish that I could get a better sensei. Kakashi-sensei ain't teaching us nothing."
Kakashi could see exactly how BAD something like that could be.
"No, Kakashi Hatake. Your death or retroactive removal as sensei of Team Seven wouldn't be amusing for more than a moment. Perhaps. Yes. That will work. Sign this."
A scroll popped into the air and landed with a heavy thud.
"What is it?" asked Naruto, cautiously poking it with one finger.
Kakashi was up again at this point and inspecting it. "It looks like a... summoning contract?"
"Indeed."
"'Summoning contract'?" asked Naruto.
"Summons are among the most versatile and useful abilities in a ninja's arsenal," said Kakashi, checking and finding the contract was sealed in some manner that resisted his opening it. "Naruto. Try unfurling it and then stepping away. I need to look this over."
"Ah. Taking your role as sensei seriously for the moment. Good."
"Well, I've been trying to teach teamwork and some basic ninja skills," said Kakashi.
"If you say so."
The scroll's seal parted under Naruto's fingers and he partially unfurled the scroll.
"Hmmm," hmmed Kakashi as he looked over it. "For purposes of instruction in skills. Sensei is chosen from experts in the field named, reverse summons will cause summoner to be brought to universe of expert. Parallel universe crossing in such circumstances will be under a 1/100 differential, such that one hundred days training in the other -verse will take a single day of summoner's originating plane."
"What's that mean?" asked Naruto.
"It means that if you were to be reverse-summoned to Ryozanpaku to train under the taijutsu masters there, one hundred hours of training could pass - and when you were returned - only one hour would have passed for the rest of your team."
"That..." Kakashi's visible eye was wide as he considered what that could do.
"So it's a way for me to get more training in?!" asked Naruto cheerfully. "What kind of experts?"
"Let's see," said Kakashi, deciding to take his mind off of the mind-boggling concepts for a moment. "Here we go. Section II, paragraph b. Except where under chakra limitations (Section IV, paragraph a) or summoner has been rejected by summons for inappropriate behavior or similar malfeasance (Section V, paragraph b) or summoner has failed to maintain control of contract (Section VII, all)"
"I don't understand half of that," admitted Naruto.
Kakashi had paused just to take a breath. "As long as summoner is capable of learning from summoned - summoner may select the following fields of study to be tutored on: accounting, acrobatics, air bending, alchemy, animal training, archaeology, archery, biology, blacksmithing, bo-jutsu, brewing, carpentry, chakra control, chemistry, conjuration, cooking, cryptography, crystalmancy, curative magic, dance, destruction/invocation magic, divination, doton, economics, enchantment/alteration, engineering, farming, fuuton, fuuinjutsu, genetics, genjutsu, geology, gusari-jutsu, herbalism, hyoton, inscription, jewelcrafting, katon, kenjutsu, kinton, leatherworking, libromancy, massage, medic-nin training, mokuton, necromancy, ninjutsu (general), onmyodo, painting, pharmaceuticals, physical medicine, piloting, poison-use, police sciences, psychic abilities, raiton, ranton, sailing, sculpture, seduction, silent killing, social skills, stealth operations, steamology, strategy and tactics, strength training, suiton, swordsmithing, taijutsu (specify style - see table IV), tailoring, tankery, tattooing, technowizardry, thrown weapons, tracking, trade, wandcraft, weaponsmithery, weapon specialization (specify - see table V), weather forecasting, wilderness survival, youton."
"No ramen making?" asked Naruto.
A piece of board from the ceiling chose that moment to dislodge and land atop Naruto's head for no apparent reason.
"That would probably fall under 'cooking'," guessed Kakashi. "Experts. Experts who can train Naruto. IF he can actually learn what they can teach him. Since nobody is alive any longer with the Hyoton bloodline - he could get training in how to use it but couldn't actually ever use it. Correct?"
"Exactly."
"What happens if he tries to summon one of these teachers and can't use that much chakra?" asked Kakashi next.
"It would be like knocking on a door. If the other side is willing, they could open that door."
"So, a reverse-summons," mused Kakashi, getting that.
"Yes, that would be the usual effect."
"Ouch," said Naruto, rubbing his head.
Kakashi frowned at the statue, not completely obvious through his mask. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do something like this for Naruto?" asked Kakashi.
"Because, if he fails to stop the events in the future - the result will not be amusing at all. Increasing his chances has the potential for humor."
"For the lulz?" asked Kakashi.
"Precisely."
"So, you helping me is kinda like you're pulling a prank on the whole ninja world?" asked Naruto.
"Essentially. Yes. Fare thee well, Naruto Uzumaki."
"Doesn't he have to sign it first?" asked Kakashi.
"Already did while you were you talking," said Naruto. "What?"
"What should I study first, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto eagerly.
Kakashi considered that as the priest handed out bowls of miso soup and chunks of some hardbread.
"'Training'?" asked Sakura, looking away from Sasuke for a moment.
Kakashi had already thought about this, and explaining what was going on to the other two members of the team would likely be tiring. Still, they had to try out this thing sooner or later. "Why don't you try:"
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(Posted Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:22)
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