Naruto glanced over at Kakashi, wondering at that odd pause.
"-Orochimaru with a catgirl fetish?" asked Kakashi, going back over that list and finding one that was fairly mind-boggling. Sakura interested in other girls? No, that was fairly easy to picture oddly enough. Jiraiya writing cookbooks? No, nothing that would risk the precious orange-covered books. Orochimaru with ANY kind of fetish?
"Okay. Done."
The world blurred around Kakashi Hatake.
"What?" asked Kakashi as the village of Konohagakure formed around him.
"Orochimaru!" growled Hiruzen Sarutobi. "What have you done?!"
"Oh, a few experiments here and there," said Orochimaru, pulling out a large glass flask and holding it out over the street. "Behold! The crowning achievement of my research! The Nekomusume Virus!"
"Oh," said Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage. "Not that weird focus of yours again."
Orochimaru shrugged slightly. "It's a hobby. You have to admit, having cat-eared and tailed kunoichi! Enhanced reflexes and speed! Exceptional hearing and nightvision! Exceptional bustlines and bounciness! All possible via a little genetic manipulation such as lies within this flask!"
"You fiend," said the Hokage, not sounding very impressed. "What about all those children you experimented on?!"
"Those were my main subjects, but I find working on my dream of an army of catgirl maidservant ninja to be quite relaxing," said Orochimaru. "Whenever I get stuck on my latest superninja soldier project I can work on the catgirl project. The virus contained within this flask is my latest creation! Now, stop pursuing me or I might drop this!"
"OROCHIMARU!" yelled Koharu, throwing explosive-tagged kunai at the snake sannin. "THIEF! YOU TOOK MY KITTY-CHAN STATUE!"
Crash! Tinkle!
Hiruzen Sarutobi considered facepalming as he looked at the broken glass and little vapor. Instead he tried a gout of fire just in case that stopped the spread of the thing.
"Doctor," said the Hokage, suddenly standing in the Emergency Room's conference area. "Report."
"The first patient was Yugao Uzuki, chunin, age 18. Complaints of dizziness, feelings of heat - particularly at the base of the spine and joints. Increasing severity for three hours before coming in. Within thirty minutes of admission she completely lost consciousness. Unconscious now for two hours while genetic reconstruction is underway."
"Treatment?" asked the Hokage.
"Fluids and nutrients," said the Doctor. "Also cooling the worst of the fever symptoms. I understand the disease was created and is not intended to be fatal?"
"No," said the Hokage. "Nobody understands that weird fixation he developed after discovering those ancient figurines. Unlike what we found in that underground base, THIS particular line of experimentation is one that has an aesthetic to it. A strange aesthetic but it has one."
The Doctor, Futodoki, nodded. "It seems to work in stages. In any case, after patient Uzuki was admitted - we had five more identical cases come in."
"Civilian population?" asked the Hokage.
"Academy students," supplied Futodoki, lifting up a clipboard. "They actually seem to be both more vulnerable to the disease but also better able to handle it."
"Any luck at arresting the disease or simply curing it?" asked the Hokage.
"We don't have much in the way of anti-virals," said Futodoki. "We tried our first go-to drug, and there was initial progress. By 0900 though - the virus had adapted and was now eating the anti-virus."
The Hokage had followed the doctor and now stood at a patient bedside. "That fiend. He's even given her an unnatural hair color!"
"Uhm, no. Actually she's always had pink hair," said the doctor, looking down at the Academy student.
"Oh," said the Hokage. "Are those little fangs?"
"It's been three days," said Futodoki, sitting down in the little circle of chairs as the other physicians gathered for the morning conference. "Reports."
"Patient Uzuki is still showing signs of fever and weakness, sleeping most of the time," reported Doctor Fukitsu. "The children seem to have had an easier time with it."
"Possibly because the genetic changes that are likely to hit with puberty are years off," said Doctor Uwa. She held up a clipboard. "Anyone else notice a pattern in the infected so far?"
Every other doctor just looked at her for a moment.
"Children primarily below puberty," said Futodoki finally, wondering if he'd just put in way too many freaking hours lately. "Only three kunoichi so far have gone past Stage II. Males apparently get the virus but it fails to do more than set up - and can then be wiped out with anti-virals such as Acyclovir as it never establishes a foothold."
Fukitsu added his own two-yen. "We tried tritrating large doses of testosterone in one of the kunoichi, only to have a massive anaphylactic reaction. It was dicey for a bit, but we managed to get the patient through it and she's in guarded condition at the moment."
"Look at the three kunoichi," said Uwa. "A sensor type, a genjutsu type, and an infiltration type. All have low chakra reserves, good to excellent chakra control, decent to good chakra recovery. If you factor in the Academy students - all are beginning to develop or have developed chakra reserves but are very limited in the amount of chakra they have."
"Yes, the virus does seem to thrive in those with active chakra pathways," agreed Fukitsu. "There are only seven cases of the disease striking in the civilian population, and none of them have advanced very far. Age and control also seem to be a factor. Every civilian and jonin so far has only gone to Stage I."
"It's already determined that Orochimaru had not managed to 'perfect' this thing, but then I'd also heard this was just a sort of 'hobby' to him," said Futodoki. "Why he couldn't do stamp-collecting or something NORMAL..."
"Orochimaru doesn't do 'normal'," stated Uwa. "Now, here's something I found of concern in the chakra pathways-"
"What do you mean the kids have been disowned by their families?" asked the Hokage.
"Just that, several of them were run off by their parents as not being human or imposters," said Boar. "We're going with education and correction. Some of them are coming around and it mainly seems to be initial shock at the changes."
"So where are they staying then?" asked the Hokage.
"We found a place and someone their own age who can help care for them," said Boar.
The Hokage noted the tone of amusement. "Something up with that?"
"Well, it allowed me to address something I've wanted to meddle in for years," admitted Boar. "But I'm just responding to the emergency, you understand. This individual was available and as he's their age can be with them for an extended period."
"Boar? You didn't-" The Hokage's stern visage cracked for a moment, showing amusement of his own before he got it back.
He got a bigger apartment. He got approval from several of these masked authority figures. He got extra money for food and stuff. He got friends out of the deal.
Really, what wasn't to like about this situation?
"Ne, Naruto-kun! Juice!"
Well, being run ragged getting drinks and food for the girls - though they were frequently sleeping. It was really only a problem when more than one of them was awake.
"Ne ne, Naruto! Water please!"
He'd been told this was an important mission that he could undertake while everyone else was busy doing extra work because of that sickness going around. That the Hokage would be told of his efforts and help! That he was NEEDED to help protect and care for these girls until their families were over some issue or something.
"Na-Na-Naruto-kun. Can you help me up?"
"Hai Hai! Naruto Uzumaki is here to help! Dattebayo!"
"Are you ready to return to work, Uzuki?" asked the squad leader, trying not to stare. "It's been over a week but-"
"I have been cleared for D-Rank duties at present," said Uzuki after the squad leader's voice had trailed off. "Checkup after two weeks for further progress."
"Any difficulties I should know about?" asked the squad leader. As a jonin currently working the mission desk, he had to assign missions to the most suited candidates as much as possible.
"Light sensitivity," said Uzuki. "Also some problems with tuning out sounds and scents. Still tiring easily but I need to work on that."
"Understood," said the jonin, considering. Convalescence duties then. So... "Here's one. Training ground repairs."
"As long as it's not the Forest of Death," noted Uzuki.
Hiruzen Sarutobi stared at the civilians in front of him. "Say what now?"
"How could you let my little girl stay around that - that - BOY?!"
"There were frequent checks by ANBU to make sure he was doing what he promised to do," said the Hokage. "Except for one time when he'd fallen asleep from exhaustion - he did a very good job actually. Due to the number of Stage I infections, there were a reduced number of available personnel."
"But - THAT boy," said the civilian. "He didn't do anything? No painting or stinkbombs or-"
The Hokage nodded. "No pranks of any kind. He was given a serious mission despite being an Academy student, and he responded in kind. Very promising, I think."
"What is all this?" asked Kakashi Hatake's ghost, watching as the scene blurred again and he saw the transformed girls mostly being reunited with apologetic families.
"Change something in the past, and ripples spread," said Toltiir. "A small change when Orochimaru is very young ends up with a large divergence later on. Mind you, if I'd made the same alteration with someone who wasn't such a prominent figure - you wouldn't notice much difference at all. Because it was Orochimaru, and because Orochimaru is such a major figure within your ninja-world setting, the shift becomes much greater."
"What did you change in the past that would do this?" asked Kakashi.
"Ah," said the Being. "Let me rewind a bit."
"Your father wanted you to pick something out from the dig site," said the woman, patting little Orochimaru on the head.
"For my birthday?" asked the tiny boy, not seemingly impressed by the gesture. Nonetheless, he looked over the contents of the box. An old scroll, a book, a little statue, and a set of juzu beads that were cracked. "Junk."
"Very old items, dated from before the time of the Sage of Six Paths," said the woman. "Everything you don't pick will probably end up being sealed away for research. Anything you DO pick you can research yourself."
Orochimaru's hand paused over the scroll before he picked up the little statue and inspected it. "Plastic?"
"The colors are faded, but we believe it was one of their ancient religious figures," said the woman.
"These parts are meant to be moved, and this part can be pulled and replaced easily," mused Orochimaru. "Why does she have cat ears and a tail?"
"Our current theory is that they viewed the fusion of cat and girl to do something with their ancient fertility rites," said the woman.
"Mother," said Orochimaru. "I'll take this. I have a feeling something is wrong with the current theory."
The ghost-Kakashi blinked and pointed. "That's a fertility statue?"
"No, actually, it's what they call a 'figma' of Yuki Nagato as a catgirl. Orochimaru's father and mother die shortly after this, leaving the child alone. Nobody ever corrects the labels or common knowledge that these are not fertility symbols though. Just left overs from the colonists."
"'Colonists'?"
"Not really important. This particular timeline has your world as being a colony world set up roughly 600 years ago from a world called Earth. Some areas outside the Elemental Nations still manage to keep the factories intact, and this is what gives the 'Schizo-Tech' thing going while your ninja battles keep things too churned up for anyone to actually put things together and try to reclaim resources and technology from your past. I've seen a few different backgrounds come into play, not that any have much bearing on your present."
"Well, the ninja lifestyle currently doesn't allow a lot of time for digging around in the past," said Kakashi.
"In any case, that's what changed in the past. Instead of the scroll - he became fascinated with the various catgirl figurines and came out with another explanation for them years later. Also incorrect, but that they were seen as warrior-spirits within some ancient religion is not quite as off as fertility goddesses."
"So, wait, does that mean that-" Kakashi's voice trailed off as the scene blurred again.
"Indeed. Behold."
"Team 7. Sasuke Uchiha. Sakura Haruno. Naruto Uzumaki."
"Alright! This is gonna be good-nya!"
Ino's ears went flat against her head as she stood up. "Sakura-nya! Nyou better keep your paws off my Sasuke-nya!"
"Nya!" said Sakura, giving Ino the redeye. "I got the coolest and the hottest guys in class on my team-nya!"
A shadow loomed up behind Sakura.
"KYA!" yelped Sakura as she tried to hide. "Nya-nya, Hinata-chan. You scared me!"
"C'mon, guys, we're TWELVE," stated Naruto. "Can't we just be friends?"
"This is so tiresome," said Shikamaru.
"I dunno. Some people pay to watch soap operas, and we get one for free," stated Choji, offering a barbeque pork rind to Akamaru.
CHOMP!
Akamaru, of course, knew that any offered food had to be acquired quickly before some catgirl decided to try it.
"No," said Sasuke. "Shikamaru's right. Which is also troublesome."
"AHHH!" cried Naruto. "Sasuke made a joke. The world's coming to an end."
"EXCUSE ME!" yelled Iruka. "I'm still going over team selection."
"So they ended up on my team anyway?" asked ghost-Kakashi.
"Yeah, I had to tweak it. Otherwise they wouldn't have ended up on the same team," admitted Toltiir. "It was heading for a Team 8 which would have had Naruto, Sakura, and Hinata on it. Team 7 would have been Kiba, Sasuke, and Shino. Which would have been fine, except that you had to have the current Team 7 here for this Wave Country mission."
"Well, that's good," said Kakashi, sounding bored.
"Unless you really wanted a different team."
"No, that's fine. It would be even more of a headache to break in new genin," said Kakashi. "So they passed the genin test despite Sakura having cat-ears?"
"Pretty much the same from the look of things. Just a bit less hostility and the love triangle is completely bent out of shape."
"There was a 'love triangle'?" asked Kakashi.
"Is this the 'cool hip attitude' that got you a rival named Maito Gai?"
Kakashi paused. Why did he have a suddenly escalating danger sense going off? "Mah. I suppose?"
rumble indicated some ominous thunder.
"So we done with this?" asked Kakashi, using the change-the-subject-no-jutsu. A truly ancient manuever passed down through the ages for just such events.
"I thought you'd appreciate having the background. Why, are you getting bored?"
"Well, yes," said Kakashi.
Ba-Da-Doom! went some much louder ominous thunder.
"Very well then."
Kakashi blinked and checked. Yes, he was solid again - not a ghostly image observing events.
Yes, they were in a temple decorated with a feline motif. However now the temple was of an unfamiliar decor. And there were tents set up.
"Ah, Kakashi-san, you are awake." An old man who looked officious stopped sweeping. "Are you sure you won't stick around for the Nekomimi Fertility Festival?"
"Positive," said Kakashi, thinking that with a name like that he didn't want to be anywhere near the place.
"Too bad," said the old priest. "Ninja business though, I suspect."
"Exactly." Kakashi looked around.
"The young Uchiha is already up and about," said the priest, pointing behind the temple and away from the road. He switched to pointing off to the trees. "Your kunoichi is practicing her weapon skills, I believe. And the other young genin is fixing breakfast."
Kakashi wondered what exactly he had missed.
"Yo, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto. "Miso is ready. Toast is over there."
"You... cooked?" asked Kakashi, sniffing and not smelling anything particularly burnt.
Naruto didn't look up from where he was mixing ingredients into a large frypan. "You not awake yet, sensei?"
"Uhm, yeah, let's go with that," said Kakashi as he checked things. Yes. There was toast. Also miso soup with little cubes of something that looked like tofu in little ceramic bowls.
"When you finish waking up and we're good to go then, I could use some help sealing stuff back up," said Naruto. "I was able to get some eggs and other ingredients from the priest guy here. So - we get scrambled eggs with wild onion to put on the toast. Might have enough for sandwiches for lunch later."
Kakashi blinked at Naruto. "This have something to do with those catgirls staying at your place?"
"Eh?" asked Naruto. "Man, you must'a not got any sleep last night to draw a blank on that. Can you go get Sakura and Sasuke before the stuff gets cold?"
Kakashi made a noise which could be taken as either disagreement or agreement, but he was curious at this point. So he went to find that the pink-haired catgirl was:
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(Posted Sat, 28 Dec 2013 16:22)
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