When a god sneezes, things can go awry.
When an elder god sneezes, the butterfly effect can go completely ape. As any number of people familiar with them might comment, when the flying monkeys came out - it pretty much heralded everything going in a non-optimal manner.
Certain things happened.
Rin Nohara stumbled and twisted her foot, then smashed her head against a tree. As a result, she was not captured and turned into a living Tailed Beast Bomb.
Instead she was taken to a cave by Kakashi Hatake where he attempted to tend her wounds until she could apply her own medic-nin training to her own wounds.
There were other effects as well. Puppy litters of the Inuzuka clan's dogs were not terribly large, due to the limited genetic pool. The major effects were the occasional non-wolf-like dog and smaller litters. One such litter produced four VERY odd dogs.
In Kumo, Yugito Ni found a little orange book left behind by some minor ninja, read it - and became quite intrigued with the series.
In Iwa, a child came to realize that the current system of ninja villages was unstable and wrote out a twelve page analysis on what would be needed to acquire a more stable system without unnecessary bloodshed. Unfortunately, being four years old, she wrote it all out in crayon and was unable to get anyone to pay attention to her.
In Kiri a large sword fell from the heavens and imbedded itself in an anvil. After several attempts to remove it, the whole thing was discarded as useless and a tarp was thrown over it. It was forgotten about shortly afterward.
And in the Fire Country, Rin Nohara finally managed to grab Kakashi Hatake, throw him onto the floor of a cave and had her way with him.
And outside a universe, looking in, Naruto Uzumaki summed it up rather eloquently.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Relax, my rival. This is just part of life."
"Relax? Relax? Uhm, I think I hear the Hokage calling me for a month-long mission out of the country!"
"My cool and hip rival? That was neither cool nor hip. Ah, but how am I to top you in THIS contest?"
"It's not a contest, Gai. It's a... look! A hundred yen coin!"
"Really, Kakashi? A coin? You're reduced to THAT sort of thing?"
"Got a lot on my mind."
"A marriage is NOT a ninja-battle."
"I know. I'd much rather be facing a nice battle."
"Ahem."
"Rin's behind me, isn't she?"
"I think I'll leave you two alone. The Best Man shouldn't see the bride beat up the groom before the ceremony or something like that."
"Gai, you coward!"
"Anata?"
"Uhm, yes dear?"
"If you really don't want to do this, go running off. I'll simply raise your child to hate you."
"Well, I suppose I can..."
"Hmm?"
"Oh dear."
"THAT'S WRONG! THAT'S SO WRONG! THAT'S TAKING THE WRONG TURN IN WRONGSVILLE, CRASHING THROUGH A FENCE AND LANDING IN A STEAMING PILE OF WRONGNESS!"
Toltiir cocked his head and considered. "You think so?"
"That's wrongness so wrong that the wrong brothers are taking it for a test flight!"
"Do tell."
"KAKASHI HAS A KID?!"
"Yup. Born the same year as Itachi in fact. Imagine that."
"I can't imagine that. It's TOO WRONG!"
"Methinks thou doth protest too much," said the quasi-feline.
"What the hell does that mean?" asked time-out-Naruto.
"It means that Kakashi burped the baby and got green goo all over his shirt."
Naruto blinked and watched the scene. "Okay. I admit. THAT part is funny."
"Okaa-san! I'm going to the Academy!"
"Okay, sweetie! Study hard!"
"I will!"
Rin Hatake watched as her little girl gave a two-finger salute, hefted her backpack, and ran towards school.
"Grow up so fast," said Kakashi from his place of concealment on the roofs as he saw his daughter going towards school and Rin go back into the house. Her shift at the hospital would start in another hour or so.
Kakashi straightened as he saw the other children gathering. No sign of trouble, and that was really all for the better. Hopefully she'd find some other line of work, or at least spend her full time in the Academy and not be in a hurry to graduate.
As soon as she was old enough though, she'd be learning medic-nin techniques. If anything would help her survive for very long, it would be those sorts of techniques and they ALWAYS needed more medical personnel.
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(Posted Tue, 13 Aug 2013 17:23)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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