Then he'd heard the familiar knuckles cracking. Oh, why hadn't he simply RUN?
A kick to the crotch using her monster strength. Even with his toughening the area with a damage-reduction jutsu, he'd felt certain organs compressing to nearly jelly consistency.
Seventeen blows to the head. Sixteen more to the crotch. Right arm broken in three places. Left arm dislocated when she'd used that to slam him around like some tetherball. He'd distinctly felt that rib go through that lung and he'd realized that this was going to be even worse than that event at the bath-house.
Left leg - that knee was pulp. Right leg - he couldn't even guess how many breaks. Spine - oh never mind cataloguing it all.
Sitting in the darkness, Jiraiya looked out at it and was at least glad he was beyond pain. Now that he was no longer tied to his body, he knew that Tsunade had to have been somewhat impaired herself - or she wouldn't have gone quite THIS far. Well, probably not.
"If she was going to kill someone, couldn't it have been Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked the darkness.
He hadn't expected the darkness to answer. Or at least produce a light in the distance.
"Don't I get a tunnel of light?" asked Jiraiya.
A presence came up behind him, and he turned to behold the Death God. "Oh great. Wait. If you're there, then who or what is..."
Jiraiya turned his back on the Death God, figuring it didn't much matter at this point. Yes, the light was getting closer.
Eventually the light resolved itself into an ancient-looking woman carrying an old lantern of some unfamiliar style.
"Shoo," said the old woman to the Death God, making a little shooing motion. "He's only 99.9999999% dead. You can't claim him yet."
"Are you sure?" Jiraiya asked. An image of his body appeared. "Ick."
"He hasn't fulfilled the Toad Prophesy yet either," said the old woman. "You really want to go explain to Time and Fate that Jiraiya here screwed that up and didn't teach Naruto anything?"
Jiraiya's mouth momentarily went to an "O" of surprise before he wiped the expression.
The Death God pointed at Jiraiya.
"Well, true," admitted the old woman. "They might just take it out on this fool instead."
"Excuse me?" asked Jiraiya.
"Pfeh, I'm having to get involved," said the old woman, this time directing her attention to Jiraiya. "I hate getting involved but look how screwed up your body is."
"I haven't seen Tsunade that mad before, at least not very often," said Jiraiya, deciding to ignore the looming Death God. Mainly because there really wasn't anything he could DO about the looming Death God.
"Now, we just have to assign the penalty and changes," said the old woman.
"The what and what?" asked Jiraiya, not liking the sound of that.
"Only the barest of threads holds you to life," said the old woman. "An infant's breath would be enough to send you tumbling the rest of the way. You're already on this side of the river of the dead."
"Oh," said Jiraiya. "I'm going back to THAT?! Can I pass? That looks like it hurts. Lots."
"No, it won't when I'm done," said the old woman. "As a start, I take your perversion as payment for your return to life. It's just an initial payment though."
"My what?" asked Jiraiya.
"Instead of being a lust-ridden goat, you'll be what they call 'asexual' - without any lusts or perversions," said the old woman. "You might like how women look, but nothing will ever get those juices flowing again except perhaps writing. Yes, that will do as a start. Maybe you'll pay more attention to survival instincts without all that lust getting in the way."
"But my writing depends on my lusts," said Jiraiya. "I wrote 'Gutsy Ninja' and it sold very poorly. Then I came up with Icha Icha and it became a bestseller!"
"You'll develop other skills," said the old woman. "Hmph. Yes. I think I see what to do."
The Death God made a gesture.
"A splendid idea," said the old woman, cackling.
Tsunade frowned at the position of the sun, then made a show of looking around the campsite.
"My Lady?" asked Shizune, wondering if something was up.
"Nothing," said Tsunade.
Kurenai Yuhi had taken the break to grasp her knees with both hands and gasp for breath, clearly winded after having had to dodge tree stumps, boulders, large rocks, logs, and everything else that Tsunade had been throwing at her.
Tsunade grinned for a moment as she renewed her assault, throwing another boulder followed immediately by another.
Kurenai dodged, then stumbled as one foot found a bit of churned ground that gave underneath her.
What Tsunade had NOT expected was a white shield to appear in front of the chunin to intercept the missile.
Her gaze quickly tracked to the side to see the little blonde boy holding up a hand in a one-handed Ram sign.
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(Posted Fri, 03 Jun 2011 16:31)
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