Watching as Ranma snapped Toramasa’s cell-phone shut, the middle Tendo trembled with pure, unadulterated fear. “...No...” Nabiki whispered as she stepped back, her aura of pure rage sputtering out instantly. “You... you did NOT just call HER, did you!?”
Handing the small piece of communications electronics back to the elderly man who couldn’t run a business to save his life, the pigtailed martial artist turned to look at his fiancée’s sister. “What do you mean, Nabiki?”
“You did NOT just invite Atsuko ‘Nuku-Nuku’ Natsume to come over here, did you!?” the brunette snapped; her Ice Queen facade completely broken at this point but the bout of rage and now unbridled terror. “It... it’s illegal for you to be around her for a reason!!”
Smiling, Ranma told her, “Well first off, it’s not illegal here as this place is Not-Japan! So the rules in place don’t apply here... second, I didn’t invite her over...”
Nabiki started to let out a breath of relief.
“I invited her AND her father over! He’s supposed to be some sort of mechanical and technical genius! I’m sure he could fix this place up in no time at all!” the raven-haired youth said with much bravado.
It took an admirable amount of control simply not to wet herself at that moment—more incredible after what she had gone through in the last twenty-four hours without gaining a single Yen for it.
But why, you may ask. Why would Nabiki Tendo—who didn’t even flinch when the fiancées tried to kill her when she was temporarily engaged to Ranma—be afraid of Nuku-Nuku coming over to visit?
Ask yourself this: why were Ranma and Nuku-Nuku banned from hanging out together, but no such ban was placed on fiancées?
Answer: one group ‘meeting’ only affects the local economy while helping drive construction businesses. The other usually involves a natural disaster area and involvement of international aid and the Red Cross.
Putting it in recent terms; the radioactive knock-off Gojira they defeated was considered a ‘small-scale meeting’.
“Nabiki,” Nodoka said firmly as she noticed the young girl backing away. “Where are you going? You’re the financial forethought and backbone of the Tendo Home... I need you here to look over the paper-work to make sure that everything is in order so I can purchase this country for my son...”
“Actually,” Toramasa spoke up. “It’s not a country but a bit of land that’s not Japanese territory...”
“Tomato, To~mah~toe,” the Saotome Matriarch huffed. “It’s the same difference. My son will rule a land that is not Japan and prove himself a mighty Emperor who deserves all the women folk that flock this way!”
...As if I didn’t need another reason to flee this place for my life, Nabiki thought, wondering if she could sneak the sometimes-realto’'s phone from him, call a cab, and hope that she had enough hidden cash at the Dojo to pay for the trip. No way in hell was she walking home in that outfit, from this neighborhood, unarmed, even in broad daylight. And after last night, she was not going to trust her safety at the Saotome Household.
She already had to make one trip to get a morning after pill, she didn’t need to have to send someone else after it because she couldn’t walk right or was too drunk from trying to wipe her memory of all events for the last few days.
And yet... she still could at least keep the private joke to herself about what Akane’s life would be like when her little sister finally tied the knot with Ranma. The pigtailed martial artist should be glad; his mother would be right there to ensure it was consummated and not ended in a violent murder.
Nodoka smiled as she stared at the young Tendo woman. Obviously the girl didn’t want to be a part of this unless she was in on the transaction full-swing! Thinking such the auburn-haired woman raised a hand, patting the cushion of the chair next to her—one of the few seats with four legs still—and told her, “It’s okay, Nabiki. I appreciate any and all advice and suggestions you may have to make so come on and tell Auntie what you think is best for her manly son’s new feudal kingd—strip club!”
As Nabiki began to wonder just how much profit was worth being in what might soon be a large crater in Japan, Ranma paused in his happy musings of seeing his bestest-non-fiancée friend in the world, to turn to his mother. “My what now?”
“Your business, my son,” Nodoka stated with a cheerful smile.
“...I thought you said something about a club,” he replied, scratching his head.
“Well, there will be music here,” Nodoka waved off. It was so cute to her, how he was pretending to not know what they were talking about.
Ranma considered that... it was true... the one armor-plated ice-cream truck driven by that grizzled Vietnam War Veteran that came through always had music on the speakers whenever it came through... obviously, his mother was thinking if they had music, they could attract more business and bring in more people to enjoy ice-cream.
“Sure mom,” Ranma agreed. “As long as we have more than one song...” he added quickly. “Hearing the same thing on loop day and night might make me want to commit seppuku or something...” he told his mother in all seriousness. Maybe they could get the ‘Oscar Meyer Weiner’ Song too...
Nodoka nodded, pleased that her son understood the basics of a strip club in the fact that music was not static, either for all the dancers or even one set. What’s more, he didn’t just assume everyone knew such, like some bosses, who would then complain when what they desired was not delivered.
Oh, her genes were finally surging forward in him! At this rate, he’d be one of the richest ruler-for-life members of the human race!
Although, they would have to put money back into the business. At some point, his harem would need a larger place to live than her home/his embassy. Was there a skyscraper nation with a strip club in the lobby? If not... as much as she’d had to do such, they would likely have to close down the Pink Kitty to do that with the land once they had the property and the money to do such.
She hoped that girl her son called arrived soon. She needed to talk to the contractor her son got about that.
“Nuku-Nuku! Slow down! SLOW DOWN! For the love of the kami, slow the fuck down!” the creator of the android catgirl wailed as he braced his hands against the dashboard of his car for dear-life, hoping his seat-belt hung on as he went over 188 mph... and no, not because he was driving fast; Nuku-Nuku was hold his van above her head in her hands and RUNNING!
“But Papa-san, mousies!!” the fuchsia-tressed catgirl a shouted. “Besides, we’re almost there!”
“How soon is alm~ACK!!" the man chocked as the woman and the vehicle came to a sudden stop, the seat-belt keeping him from lunging through the window but still cutting off his wind-pipe.
A huge grin on her face, the NK 1124 Unit placed the vehicle down next to the curb, making sure it faced thw right way—Papa-san HATED when he was facing opposing traffic. “Papa-san! Nuku-Nuku thinks this is the place!” She was pretty sure it was. The robot catgirl couldn’t find the address in her GPS but there was one for 730 AND 734 Takahashi Boulevard. Using her normally ignored ‘common sense’ sub-routines, the android catgirl had to agree that this spot in between was likely where Friend Ranma was. “Look, Papa-san! There is even a pink kitty on the building!”
Stepping out of his vehicle once Atsuko had put it down, the man slowly asked, “A ‘pink kitty’?” he brought a hand up to brush up his bangs. His eyeballs went wide as he stared in slack-jawed shock at what was before him.
“Wow...” Nuku-Nuku whispered. “Papa-san’s amber eyes are pretty-pretty!”
Ignoring how the android that was like a daughter to him gushed over his appearance, the technical genius could only whisper, “I don't believe it.. that boy bought THE Pink Kitty!?”
Blinking her eyes once, twice, Nuku-Nuku queried, “Does Papa-san know this place?”
The man twitched at that. He wasn’t sure how to answer that one but he supposed... the truth would be best, so there wouldn’t be any miscommunication and likely more hell on his shoulders. “...Nuku-Nuku, this is where I met my ex-wife.”
Blinking her eyes once, twice, fuchsia-tressed girl tilted her head. “Bad Mama-san worked with mousies?”
The man snorted. “No, but she certainly was surrounded by a lot of rats...”
“LUCKY!” Nuku-Nuku chimed with exuberance. She wanted to be surrounded by big, fat, juicy rats too!
“I suppose,” the man said, wanting to light a cigarette—especially after what he was seeing—but remembering that if the place needed a renovation, it probably was like the last time he saw it... any spark might set it up into a giant ball of fire, likely to reach the heights of his ex’s former satellite laser-platform.
“Hmm...” he muttered, reaching into the back of his van and looking to see if Nuku-Nuku packed his gas-mask. For all he knew, there was asbestos in ‘dem walls’.
But on the bright side, if he did a good job in fixing the place up, he might be able to get into the rebuilt club without having to pay a cover charge. Perhaps even... a lifetime membership to the champagne room!
And damn it! This time it would be bigger than a closet with an aluminum tub and the girls pouring orange water over you! He would see to it!
Puffing up with pride at the thoughts of what he could accomplish, the man held out his hand—why do the work yourself when you had an assistant for that. “Atsuko! My tools and gas-mask!” Feeling something put into his hand the man brought it to his face..
...And cried out as his nose got caught in one of two slots.
“Silly Papa-san! Toaster is for mousies, not for nosies!”
Taking a deep breath—more not to yell and attract his semi-daughter’s attention so that she might try and ‘help’ him—the professor worked carefully to extract his nose from the bread slot, thankful she had brought the one that required to be plugged in and not the battery-operated one.
Nose extracted—and several sneezes later to expel the toaster leavings—he decided to grab his own tool belt for fear of what she might hand him this time—and took what he considered a pose of greatness.
The android catgirl tilted her head to the side. “...Did Papa-san pull his ‘no-no muscle’ again?”
The inventor twitched. ...Everyone’s a critic... he thought bitter before telling her, “Now, Nuku-Nuku, we go to battle!”
“...But Nuku-Nuku didn’t bring any weapons this time, Papa-san.”
“That is okay, you need not bring one!” Professor Natsume proclaimed. “You have your own skills and appetite...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...Just go in there and catch the mousies...” the professor finally stated.
“YAY! Mousies!” Nuku-Nuku cheered as she rushed on in, breaking down the right door of the main entrance. “Where is mousies!?” she cooed as she looked around.
Trying to hide behind her seat and underneath the table, Nabiki couldn’t help but tremble in sheer horror. She was here! She was already here! Ranma called not even six minutes ago and she was already here!
Not even phased about the destroyed entrance, Ranma smiled wide and shouted, “Nuku-Nuku!”
Her enhanced ear receptors popping up, Nuku-Nuku turned about, eyes shifting settings to involve and infra-red overlay due to how little natural light was getting in from lack of un-boarded windows. She then smiled wide as she saw him. In sheer seconds, the android catgirl lunged herself at him with a cry of, “FRIEND RANMA!”
It was a lunge that would have crippled most NFL linebackers, even the ones not suffering from the debilitating effects of whatever ‘all-natural support supplement’ the might be taking.
In Nerima, it would have injured a good two-thirds of the group named the Nerima Wrecking Crew.
For Ryoga, Nuku-Nuku would be more likely to injure herself upon impact, followed by the Eternal Lost Boy once again swearing revenge on Ranma for it.
However, unlike the others, Ranma was smart enough to redirect her force, turning it into a spin worthy of a sappy movie romance where the couple reunited and heart-warming music played in the background.
The only sound in the background there was Nabiki’s shaking hiding place and the rat equivalent of ‘game over, man; game over!’ from within the walls.
Nodoka’s eyes sparkled as she saw her son spin the laughing girl in place. Such love and romance... could it be...
“Son,” the Saotome Matriarch spoke up as the two finally started to stop spinning. “Who is this lovely girl?”
Smiling as Ranma finally let her down on her feet, Nuku-Nuku looked up at the auburn-haired woman. “Oh... hello! Who is you?”
Although she kept her composure, the older woman’s smile twitched. “I asked first, dearie but if you must know, I am Ranma’s mother, Nodoka.”
A huge grin came over Nuku-Nuku's face. “Oh wow! Friend Ranma have such pretty Mama-san!” She was so MUCH nicer looking than Ryuunosuke’s Mama-san by miles!
THAT made the woman puff up with pride; having a younger woman recognize the Matriarch for her obvious beauty. “Why thank you... now, you are?”
“AH! I is Nuku-Nuku!” the android catgirl shouted happily. “Ranma and Nuku-Nuku are Best Friends with Benefits!” After all, she loved when he went all ‘kitty’ too and they played games and lay down in the sun... and even better, he was getting her all sorts of mousies; her radar was already picking up over nine-thousand one hundred of the little buggers! It would be... a buffet!
Nodoka gawked at the young girl’s exuberant and open display of affection for her child, to proclaim they were lovers without hesitation! “My son!” she gasped. “Is this true!?”
Nodding his head, Ranma firmly stated, “Yep! She’s the best Friend with Benefits I’ve ever had!” Kami knew she could outrun ALL the Nerima Wrecking Crew and then some; she was the best living getaway vehicle ever! Not to mention the benefits of having someone’s home to go to without threats of marriage, a love of fighting, excellent cooking—as long as you didn’t ask what the meat was made of—and her father loved to show him things that made loud explosions!
Nodoka was almost glowing...
“Wow, Friend Ranma’s pretty Mama-san is glowing like Friend Ranma does when he plays with Tasty-Pork-Friend Ryoga!” Nuku-Nuku chirped.
...Okay, she was glowing but that was only because of the thought her manly son was bedding two women! How could she NOT have pride over that? “Does Nabiki-chan get together with you at all?” she asked hopefully.
Nuku-Nuku’s honest smile became suddenly strained—not that Nodoka would notice. “Nuku-Nuku and Friend-Ranma... don’t play with Nabiki-san.”
The glow dimmed a bit, as Nodoka wondered what event stopped them from playing together, and by that she meant a sweaty threesome that had the cops called because by the sounds, two women were either being murdered or succumbing to some Kami-spirit. Maybe I should have them come over tonight and see if we can work it out... Surely, since it would mean more time with my manly son, they’d want to try at least...
“...Friend-Ranma, did it get cold in here?” the android catgirl asked as the thermometer gauge in the left corner of her vision showed the degrees dropping suddenly.
“Hmm,” Ranma said, looking around. Maybe the AC still worked here?
“I got the AC working!” came a shout from off to the side. All heads turned to where a man in white lab-coat stood up. He turned about, giving the gathered group a thumbs-up.
“A squatter!” Toramasa yelled as he took out a spray bottle from his jacket. He rushed up to the man and started squirting at him.
“ACK! HEY! WHAT GIVES!?” Professor Natsume gasped, stepping back as the elder kept spraying him with water spritzes.
“I know a squatter when I see one,” the old man snapped. “Scruffy hair? Scruffy goatee? Smells of cigarettes? Sandals with SOCKS!? Obviously a homeless bum!!” Not that Toramasa had a leg to stand on, considering his own situation... but he wanted to close this deal and make some money!
“I am not a squatter!” the supposed-technical genius snapped. “I am the great Professor Kyusaku Natsume!”
Nodding her head firmly, Nuku-Nuku proclaimed, “Yeah! He’s also Nuku-Nuku’s Papa-san!”
Hearing that, Nodoka raised her hands to her mouth, stifling a gasp. Her father was... homeless? Oh the poor dear! She needed to invite the girl to live in her home where she would only need to turn tricks for Ranma to make ends meet!
Once again, Nabiki now had more information she couldn't sell.
Ranma had a best friend with benefits? Sell the info, and people would either be deported or forcefully relocated to either end of Japan, so no further sales... although the idea of doing it to Tatewaki was very tempting.
Sell the info that Ranma was now cherry-free, and eventually, it would be leaked just who had plucked said cherry, and she’d be lucky for a quick death and no one learning about the mystery ‘third’ member at that event.
So here she was, hiding in a place she once worked, discovering the previous owner had stolen from her, wrapped in only a kimono that she hoped was not see-through from any angle, sitting on a gold mine of innuendo to sell but couldn’t due to fear of her own safety, surrounded by two people the Japanese Diet had declared could never meet inside a populated center, and a woman who had not only done things to her last night that made her still shiver, but had made a comment while ‘innocently adjusting her kimono for her’ that tonight, she had other things ‘planned’ for them all.
So... she was now debating whether to just run for it now and let her fear help her run home, or look for even more alcohol, and try to ensure the only thing she remembered tomorrow was waking up sore with a hangover and a bad taste in her mouth.
“Well, my dear; you must simply spend the night with us all tonight,” Nodoka offered the fuchsia-tressed cutie.
...Why do the kami hate me? What did I ever do to deserve this? the Middle Tendo asked the Heavens, not knowing that no answer—not even the questioning of if she needed a list and in what format—would not come, as Heaven was currently facing an equivalent of Skynet.
Nuku-Nuku smiled widely. She was about to accept the generous offer when her father spoke up for her.
“She can’t,” Kyusaku said as he pushed the old man off of him. “Nuku-Nuku and Ranma aren’t allowed to meet each other in person, remember? They have to have at least half a city district between them. The only reason she’s been allowed here at the same time as your son is because you told me this was a rule free zone.”
...DAMN LOGIC! Nodoka huffed as she realized if she was to help this child once again becomes her manly son’s bestest best friend with benefits, she’d have to get this place fixed up. “You... you said your name was Kyusaku, right?”
Nodding his head, the technician of masterful level, (when it came to weapons of mass destruction) replied, “Yes. Professor Kyusaku Natsume. I’m an inventor and mechanic of sorts; your son called my home, hoping to hire my services.”
“Yeah, he’s really good mom!” Ranma said, wanting to defend Nuku’s father. “You should see his place! All kinds of reinforcements to the walls... special 22mm bronze casing bullet-proof glass... heck, even many of the electronics and other goodies in his house are made of this stuff he calls, ‘Tonka Tough’!”
Nodding his head, the inventor admitted with pride, “I had to! The repair bills were starting to add up, even if I was the one making said repairs. It got to the point where I finally said, ‘enough of this’ and designed a new material that could withstand anything my daughter, her friends—or even my bitch ex-wife—could throw at it!”
Nodoka slowly nodded. At least the cute dear wasn’t homeless—although she came from a broken home where the mother had obviously not been womanly and left them shattered. Why else would such a bright young man as her father... well... look like a dim-witted ex-hippy?
“Excuse me,” Toramasa spoke up, refilling his spritzer with tap water that was thankfully not brown for the moment. “But back to your earlier comments... if you were serious about making this your own country, then you might be able to make somewhere else your own embassy, which would have the same rules as your home country... if you believe in that sort of thing.”
Hearing that, Nodoka smiled. “My manly son... you realize what this means,” she said evenly.
The pigtailed martial artist almost whimpered.
“We need to get more paperwork!”
He wanted to cry! Why!? What did he ever do to the Kami to have to sign so many documents for!?
Standing outside one of the last remaining phone-booths in Tokyo, a Infernal and half-Demonic entity looked through the phonebook. Pointing a finger, the half-goddess asked, “What about this one?”
The pure demoness shook her head. “That’s a blood bank, Urd.”
The Norn of the past trailed her finger to another establishment. “And that one?”
“Food bank,” Mara sighed.
“...Think they have peaches?”
“Now then, if we hired you...” Nodoka said as she had Kyusaku looking over the documentation as well. “You see how much they want us to pay. Would we be able to afford your services after the initial investment?”
“Well, that depends...” Kyusaku said in all seriousness. “How much do you think is left over to work with?”
Taking the pen Toramasa had provided her to sign said documents with, she took the man’s palm—as there was no clean paper that didn’t need to be filed or even napkins—and wrote on it. “That much...” she said as she released his hand.
Bringing his hand up to his face, the man wondered why she could only afford the tiniest fraction of a single Yen if they had the money to pay for a strip clu—
Wait. He was looking at this upside down.
“Papa-san?” the android catgirl chirruped. “Why are you smiling like that?” he only smiled that wide when he was drinking and watching the videotape of Mama-san giving birth to Ryuunosuke... and there certainly wasn’t a working TV around here!
Taking a deep breath and doing his best to put on a poker face—suppressing the smile that threatened to envelope his head—the man told Nodoka, “I can do my best with the modest sum you’d be able to offer. In fact, as an act of good will, I won’t even charge for my daughter being authorized to handle Pest Control.”
NOW the NK 1124 Unit’s eyes began to sparkle with a happy gleam. “Papa-san mean Nuku-Nuku can go after all the mousies she wants!?”
Smiling honestly, the professor told her, “Bust a gut.” Kami-sama knew he could afford to make a new one for her now if she did.
“YAAAAAY!!” Nuku-Nuku cheered, before reaching down and grabbing the rat Nabiki had flash-fried with her aura only minutes earlier. “Look, Papa-san, it has that look of fear Nuku-Nuku likes!” With that said, the android catgirl—that oddly could somehow digest biologic materials and ... use it in ways a sane mind would prefer not to know—bit into the fried confection. “Mmm! Tastes like happy!”
Noticing that her friend had been staring at her, she turned to look at him with a smile. “Want a bite?” she offered, holding it out by the stiff tail towards the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
“Um... I’m good,” Ranma replied. He wasn’t quite ready yet to eat rat... again... after the one part of the training trip. Although he was beginning to suspect that while his father insisted that was all they could eat at the time, due to lack of funds, said man also smelled of booze during that entire stay... and his ‘rat’ smelled suspiciously like ham...
Realizing it was all for her, Nuku-Nuku literally purred as she bit into the rat again, enjoying the tasty treat. “Issogood!” the android catgirl said with one breath. “If only we could cook it with transfats!”
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “Why not?”
“Because my manly son, transfats are illegal in... most...” Nodoka trailed off as a realization struck her. “You know what, my manly son? You’re right! With your own literal ‘Country Club’ you could have all your foods cooked with transfats if you wanted!” Why, being the only place in all of Tokyo—hell, all of JAPAN—that still cooked with transfats, they would have more clientele than JUST those hungry for the sights of sexy women!
Her son was an absolute brilliant financial strategist!
And yet the Middle Tendo had barely offered any help since getting here...
“Nabiki,” the Saotome Matriarch said seriously. “I’m beginning to realize you’re only sticking around as to leech off of my manly son’s financial insight and marketing might... now be honest; he’s the one who’s been keeping the Tendo Dojo afloat since he got there, hasn’t he?”
NOW the Middle Tendo sputtered with growing ire as the woman insulted her. She may have been afraid of her, but NO ONE insulted Nabiki’s ability to make money! “Of course not! I make all the business arrangements of the household! Ranma is nothing but a freeloader!”
“Then why are all the Ranma Photos, Videos and the Gambling concerning his fights oh-so-popular?” Nuku-Nuku asked as she was started to feel along a wall, pressing her head to it as she listened for more mousies.
Smiling, the auburn haired MiLF crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head in understanding. “Of course... my son is obviously ingenious, going out of his way to see to it the Tendo Dojo has money through only his efforts... I see he has this club is in capable hands: his.”
The Middle Tendo daughter was starting to spark again and took a deep breath, about to set the woman straight when the android added, “And there’s also the Ranma Saotome Fanclub! Even Nuku-Nuku had to pay to join and she’s one of Friend Ranma’s friends!”
Said youth blinked his eyes once, twice. “...I have a Fanclub?”
Nodding her head firmly, the fuchsia-tressed catgirl added, “With weekly newsletters, membership cards, AND decoder rings!” she then lifted her right hand, bringing her ring-finger’s knuckle to her lips, blowing through the whistle of said ring.
Nodoka nodded, as her mind made another leap of logic that defied even an insane madman—or a Kuno—to follow. She added the middle Tendo’s actions of running such things behind her son’s back, plus the way they had had sex last night, which was A LOT of angry passion... and it all made sense... to Nodoka Saotome.
“I see,” the Saotome Matriarch continued, as Ranma examined the ring and had Nuku-Nuku explain how it worked. Walking over towards Nabiki, who was now both fearful she might be assaulted—in either a physical or sexual manner, as given the person, it could very well be both—she placed her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “It’s now so obvious to me what you have been doing,” Nodoka stated in an even voice.
Nabiki felt her bladder control suddenly preparing to flee since she couldn’t.
“You have done these things to prove yourself to my manly son that you a near-equal to his money-making potential, while hoping to infuriate him to add passion to your hot sex life,” Nodoka state what she saw as absolute truth and would accept no other reality.
The only thing that kept Nabiki from face-faulting was the fact she wasn’t certain she hadn’t just peed herself, and thus, she didn’t want to drop face-first into said puddle if it had occurred.
Well, that and even her own mind made the mistake of trying to follow Nodoka’s train of thought.
“...Ow...”
Luckily, she had only just left the station before her train fell to the side.
Nodoka smiled and did her best to straighten out the younger woman’s kimono. “Don’t worry... I’m certain my manly son will share his business secrets with you... of course it’s likely you'll have to pry them out of him via ‘pillow talk’. But I’m certain I can—”
*CRASH*!
“Squeak!”
“Squeak!”
“Squeak!”
“Squeak!”
“SQUEAK!"
“Squeak!”
“Squeak!”
“Mousies!!” Nuku-Nuku cheered as she started grabbing them in what was almost a perfect replication of Ranma’s Katchu-Tenshin Amaguriken.
She didn’t seem to notice that what looked like a couple of skeletal structure, one of which was a human arm that was now draped over Nuku’s shoulder, having been unearthed... nor cared that it was glowing even if she grabbed more mice.
As everyone stared at the destruction and carnage caused by his semi-daughter, the goateed male sighed. “...It’s better this way,” Kyusaku said seriously. “I'd need to remake the walls anyway, as that would give me the chance to redo all the plumbing and electric wiring—power and phone—too.”
“...How many bones are buried here?” Ranma asked rhetorically. From what he had seen, the succubus bones already had two arms. Although one of them hadn’t been glowing... so who did it belong to if THIS was the succubus’ proper arm?
“There are many other legends of this place, if you believe—”
“If you say what I think you’re gonna say,” Ranma replied in an even tone. “I will smack you with that arm.”
“...If you believe some of the stories they say about this place...” the man finally said. As the boy glared at him, Toramasa pointed out, “And shouldn’t you stop your friend before she—”
*CHOMP*!
“...Bites into one of the glowing bone...” he finished lamely.
Nuku-Nuku blinked, chewing once more, before looking over at what she had bitten into; the rat now missing its front half... and the arm missing half of what her internal computer was identifying as a humerus. She considered that and the other bones beside her, frowning as the DNA analysis machine came out ‘negative’ for a result on what was in her stomach.
Picking up another bone with her free hand, the fuchsia-tressed catgirl tried out to see if her DNA Analyzer was possibly busted. Her touch receptors and eyes going to work, the NK 1124 Unit let out a sigh of relief as the human bones came out with a match. “Papa-san... Nuku-Nuku thinks she found Jimmy Hoffa.”
“Nuku-Nuku!” the man shouted as he saw what his ‘daughter’ had bitten into. “What have I told you about eating glowing things!?”
“But Papa-san, Nuku-Nuku’s not picking up any radiation!” the young catgirl whimpered. Her internal Geiger Counter was only triggered a little when they passed the men’s public bathroom!
Holding out his hand, the Professor told her, “Spit it out.”
“But Papa-san,” the girl tried to explain. “Nuku-Nuku not processed any mousie goodne—”
“Right now, Atsuko Natsume,” the Professor said, using her full name to show how serious he was.
That made the girl pout; but Papa-san was serious. Closing her eyes, Nuku-Nuku hated performing this function, but she had to use the, ‘emergency purge’ aka ‘Mama-san Post-Meal Mode’.
“HUWAAAAAAAAAARF!!”
Dripping with crunched up mouse bits and the canned tuna his daughter had at lunch, the man twitched once, twice as he held onto the other half of glowing humerus. “...I hope this place still has a working shower...”
“Try the ladies room,” offered Toramasa. “But don’t use the yellow towel: that’s for company.”
The man nodded, wanting nothing more than to scrub his hand until it bled—as all parents felt like when their children had barfed on them.
That was until he found the spritzer in his hand. “Don’t tell me; this is the shower...”
“Very well, I won;t” the old man replied, walking back to the woman currently holding the teenage girl with empty eyes to her chest, telling her how she would help her ‘achieve her naughty desires with her manly son’.
He then turned towards the teen male who had threatened him and was currently searching for a mop bucket... or at least an empty can to put over the vomit.
Nuku-Nuku just sighed. True, there were many more mousies to eat, but now... some would not be digested. She felt like she had failed, all because of the glowing bone that snuck up behind the tasty mousie and into her mouth.
“Hiccup!”
Blinking, Nuku-Nuku looked around. “Papa-san, Nuku-Nuku thinks she is ‘trippin’ balls’,” she replied, as everything took on a blue tinge.
The poor android catgirl blinked her eyes as she saw the outline a curvy bat-winged woman grinning and waving at her. “REALLY ‘trippin’ balls’...” she added.
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(Posted Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:45)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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