Kurenai took a deep breath. She remembered her own D rank missions. No self respecting ninja liked them and only the most mature could see just how they laid the foundations for everything that came after. Even so, there were some missions that were outright demeaning. "Team Eight's first mission is to find a lost cat," she said calmly, holding out a picture of the infamous Tora. "She is the beloved pet of the wife of the Fire Daimyo." She waited for the explosion of outrage from her charges.
Naruto took the picture and studied it. "Ninja cat?" he asked dubiously.
Ah, she forgot some ninja tried to make lame missions less lame through sheer determined hope. "No, just an ordinary cat."
Naruto passed the picture to Hinata. "What do you think, Hinata-chan?"
Hinata mumbled something inarticulate. Naruto nodded; Hinata rarely expressed opinions for some reason. Every time he tried to figure it out people around him treated him like he was an idiot, so he pretended he understood. "So pretty much a standard LDPR, only without worrying about cars. Hinata, Naruko, you know the drill. Kiba, track down the client for scent articles and get on the trail. Ready?"
"Waiaminute!" Kiba yelled. "What's an LDPR? Why are you taking this lame mission so calmly? Who put you in charge? What the heck is the drill? And why do we have ninja doing something this stupid anyway!?"
Hinata shrank behind Naruto, putting him between her and Kiba. "Kiba-kun, LDPR means Lost Domestic Pet Recovery. It was one of the most common jobs available for freelance mages on Mid-Childa."
"Really?" Kurenai asked, stunned. This wasn't going according to script at all.
"More like rewards or bounties than jobs or missions," Naruko clarified. "Using magic just makes it easier. Three LDPRs covered a week's groceries. So we got really good at it."
"Which is why it's not worth getting worked up over," Naruto added. He shrugged. "I was really hoping being an official ninja meant not needing to do this kind of lame mission, but you do what you have to and then clobber whatever jerk handed us this shit."
Ah, Kurenai thought. The script is just delayed. That makes more sense.
"I'll be running Area Byakugan through the alleys and side roads," Hinata mumbled. "Naruto-kun will cover the main roads. Naruko-chan reviews the area and assigns priority to where we need to search."
Naruko looked to Kiba. "That means I coordinate everyone else. If you find a trail, you need to call it in."
"Uh, right," Kiba said. "And once we have the cat, we go kick the ass of the guy that gave us this mission?"
"Right!" Naruto enthused.
"Wrong," Kurenai corrected.
"We will get our revenge in a completely deniable way worthy of excellent shinobi," Naruto tried.
"Better," Kurenai allowed.
"Dattebayo."
Tora's little heart was pounding in her chest. The minions of The Great Evil were far more cunning than they had ever been before.
Last year, she had barely escaped from a strange-eyed boy when a green beast had snagged her neck and declared her most youthful, but lacking in training. After that there was some argument about fate that she didn't understand, but the green-clad boy with scary eyebrows was right. And so Tora had trained. When she could not try to escape, she ran. When she could not run, she hid. When she could not hide, she attacked. Now she was ready.
But the Fat One had shown insight beneath her slovenly flesh and hired demons from at least seven different hells to foil Tora's efforts!
It started innocently enough. There was a leaky water pipe in an alley she liked to drink from. She was washing down a mousey when a tiny ball zoomed by. Tora had no idea what to make of it, which meant either run or attack. The ball stopped and flew back towards Tora.
She couldn't outrun this strange creature. ATTACK!
Tora lunged at the ball and raked it with her hindclaws as she landed…WHAT!? The ball puffed into smoke as Tora's claws scratched it, and the cat barely had time to swing her paws under her to land on the ground. She was off like a shot. Puffs of smoke meant the shinobi of the Great Evil were at paw.
Tora had several escape routes and hidey holes to choose from. Two years ago, she made the mistake of picking the furthest. Last year she picked the closest. This time she picked the closest bolt hole. A crack in a building offered access to its basement, but no human could follow. And from the crack she could smell exactly what she was up against.
Yes, the Evil was cunning this year. The first scent was unfamiliar, and she saw a boy in orange with a metal stick. He was almost unworthy of her attention, but she once made that assumption of the Green Beast. Never again.
He did something very strange which created a glowing diagram, and then four others were with him. The older woman Tora dismissed instantly; the Fat One never hired over a certain age for some reason. The other three would be troublesome.
A shy girl who smelled as if a sister to the strange-eyed boy of the past year, the decoy that lured Tora into the true threat of the green-clad boy. She would be formidable, because she could not be ignored but to focus on her would doom Tora.
The new boy smelled like a dog, although not so much as the dog with him. Tora's blood ran cold. Only a handful of her boltholes would slow the puppy! She would have to risk climbing to lose him.
The other girl smelled of fox and power. She smelled like the sun looked. Tora didn't wait; she turned into the basement and ran for the escape on the far side.
A building now between her and her pursuers, Tora latched onto the wall and climbed.
Mistake! Another ball flew by, bigger and orange colored. It poofed and suddenly the orange-clad ninja boy was there, swiping at her and yelling! Tora had only moments before the rest of the Fat One's minions could arrive. This time, she ran. She jumped from the wall, onto the blonde head, and then off that to the street below. This was a main road. That was bad; main roads allowed these Others to make good time.
Unless she distracted them. A glance behind her was shocking; the street was flooded with orange-clad ninja! But this could turn to her advantage!
It all played out in her mind's eye. She would lunge under that cart. The ninja would plow into it, some of them anyway. Two more carts provided similar opportunities. Then it was the ramen stand, the wagon full of cabbages, and then over the fence into the women's bath. What ninja were left to chase her would be chased by enraged women in turn. Then it was simply a matter of finding a saxophone for accompaniment and she was guaranteed to escape. The plan was perfect.
The plan fell apart after she dodged under the first cart and ran into a puppy and a fox. The army behind her turned into balls of light and shot over and around the cart harmlessly. And then a feminine hand had her scruff and she was hauled out.
It was the strange eyed girl. She held Tora gently and stroked her back. Tora blinked. This was nice. Maybe they weren't demons after all.
An hour later She Who Hugs Too Hard was crushing Tora once again, and she meowed an oath of VENGENCE to the traitorous she-ninja who had brought her guard down so easily!
Hinata stared at the departing Tora and looked to Naruto. "I wonder if maybe some pets deserve to escape?" she whispered.
Naruto grimaced at the large woman leaving with her doomed cat. "Eh heh. Maybe next time we should be less awesome and give her a chance?"
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(Posted Thu, 04 Aug 2011 03:49)
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