"Most of them," said the Hokage tiredly. A faint smile crossed his face thereafter. "If they are who they say they are, and they still want to be clan Uzumaki retainers after meeting Naruto, then this will... upset a few people."
There was a snort behind Bird-mask's mask indicating the degree of understatement.
"Strago Magus and Auron, though Auron was just a child during the Last War," said the Hokage after a moment. "If either Jiraiya or Tsunade was anywhere near - I'd call for them. They've worked with both back when they were on a team. Yang Fang Leiden, a taijutsu expert I'd heard was in some mountain hermitage."
"I believe one of the young ladies was his daughter, Ursula," provided the ANBU.
"Well, we'll see," said the Hokage, getting up and adjusting his hat. "I have a feeling the other groups are going to hit the fan in short order. What do we know of them?"
"Group one. Team from Kumo," said Bird-mask. "They're listed as missing-nin but Intel is pretty sure they're just used for jobs where they want plausible deniability."
"So if they end up dead, it's not as much of a problem," said the Hokage, walking out of the office and letting various ANBU fall into step behind him as he went.
"Group two. These ARE missing-nin," said Bird-mask. "Four kunoichi. It's just that they're considered low-priority and not really worth a bounty."
"What happened? They fail a mission from Mizu with the 'come back successful or die' descriptor?" asked the Hokage.
"Exactly," said Bird-mask. "Except it was Iwa. Thing is - they're a genin team that was given a C-Rank right out of the Academy, and it escalated to S-Rank."
The Hokage winced. "How old is this second group?"
"Three thirteen year olds and a special jonin who is nineteen," said Bird-mask.
The Hokage paused. "They've been on the run for how long?"
"Just over a year," said Bird-mask.
"Hmmm," said the Hokage. "That they're still alive says something about that jonin's competence despite finding themselves in a bad situation."
"We've laid a trap that might allow us to keep them out of the scuffle," said Bird-mask.
"ACHOO!"
"Quiet! You wanna get us all killed?!"
"No."
"I... oh my sweet kami! Look!"
"A new bakery? Free... samples?!"
"Food that's not crawling or squirming away..."
The youngest kunoichi whimpered, getting the jelly-filled wobbly look to her eyes.
"No! Stay focussed! We can't. We have to. We..."
"Smell that... fresh bread. I..."
"Someone stop her!"
"No! Let me go! It's real food! I don't care anymore!"
"If they go for the bait, it's drugged, they'll wake up in cells and Ibiki will find out what they know," said Bird-mask. "I don't think we'll get much useful intel though."
Watching from the rooftops the Hokage looked back at the ANBU. "I know they're invaders who planned to kidnap Naruto, but just looking at the sorry state they're in - and how they're being defeated by seven loaves of bread - I find myself feeling sorry for them."
Bird-mask shrugged. "I think that's why Iwa didn't even bother putting a bounty on them. You can see that they're severely malnourished and... well, they're rather pathetic."
"Next group?" asked the Hokage.
The Bird-masked ANBU Captain sighed. "Bud and Lou."
"I thought they were dead," said the Hokage, facepalming.
"Apparently they've been successful in the field of rice-trading," said Bird-mask. "They've been travelling around, making and selling rice cakes and rice balls. Now they're trying to get back to their home village and retire."
"We know all this because?" asked the Hokage.
"They managed to discuss it directly in front of a pickle-salesman, who was actually one of us," admitted the ANBU.
"They certainly haven't improved their ninja skills," said the Hokage, moving again towards the Academy. "Are there any of the groups of foreign ninja we're watching actually competent?"
"That would be the short list," admitted Bird-mask. "Groups one, four, and six."
"There he is," said their leader as kids filed out of the building.
"Okay, wait, wait, wait NOW!"
Naruto looked up in time to see two ninja collide just over his head and fall to the ground. "Eh?"
"What?! What are you doing here?!" yelled two groups of ninja as they appeared out of puffs of smoke and pointed at each other.
"You can't have him! He's ours!" yelled both groups of ninja at each other, still perfectly synchronized.
"Wow," said Naruto looking at one group on one side and the other group on the other side. "How do you do that?"
"Stop copying me/us!" yelled one group of ninja to the other.
"HOLD IT!" yelled a third group as they charged up.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" yelled the first two groups.
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(Posted Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:49)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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