"...Fate Testarossa," Naruto finished.
"Harlaown," Fate corrected, although she didn't stop smiling.
"The adoption papers went through?" Hinata asked excitedly.
"Yep!" Fate confirmed. "Mom's finally my mom."
"That's great," Naruto enthused. "So what are you doing on Mid Childa?"
"Are you kidding?" Fate laughed. "The Orange Leap finally returns to his mysterious home, never to be heard from again? Even if Mom hadn't met your Hokage, you would have been back within two weeks."
Naruko looked Fate over closely for a long moment. "How big was the pool?"
"I'm throwing a movie party when I get back to Earth," Fate says by way of an answer. "Nanoha won't be happy. She was sure you'd have come back within two days."
Naruto blanched at the idea of the White Devil being unhappy with him.
"Uh, the ninja are lost," Kiba interrupted. This girl, Fate, looked to be an academy student. Maybe old enough to graduate in a year or two, but there was no way she was the Fate that taught Hinata and blew up all that big stuff in their stories. Kurenai was inclined to agree; Fate didn't have the hard edge of a chunin, much less that S-class jutsu users Hinata described.
Hinata's eep did not fail her. "Sorry! This is Fate, one of my teachers in magic and AAA-rank part time mage. Fate, this is Kiba Inuzuka and Yuhi Kurenai-senesi."
Kiba's jaw dropped. "This girl is that strong?"
Kurenai was a bit more graceful in her surprise. "Thank you for teaching our genin so well," she said calmly.
"I'm not sure I really did any teaching," Fate confessed. "That's Nanoha's thing more than mine. I just...well Hinata found me easier to talk to."
Kurenai kept the sad smile off her face as everything she noticed about the girl was scattered to the winds. The way Fate said that, her stance, the thin lines in her young face that made her seem older than the ground itself for a splitsecond, everything told the genjutsu master that she was looking at a hardened girl, someone who had walked through her own personal hell. Probably involving her parents, if her apparent kinship with Hinata was any indication. Kurenai knew only one way a girl so young could endure that without going mad. "You must have very good friends," she murmured.
Fate gave Kurenai a shrewd look. "Yes," she said after a moment. "I'm glad Hinata, Naruto, and Kitsune are among them."
Kiba shook himself out of his shock. "So, why exactly are you here?"
"Chakra sensors," Kurenai said. "Some ninja can sense chakra at a great distance – you and Hinata for example. Apparently the TSAB was monitoring for Naruto's chakra."
"Something like that," Fate agreed. "Naruto's one of the strongest teleport mages we've ever seen. It's like it's instinctive to him. We figured he'd be back for one reason or another."
"And this TSAB sent you?" Kiba asked.
"Um," Fate said with a blush, "it's possible that the TSAB didn't realize they were looking for Naruto. It's in fact possible that they don't really care, officially."
"Is it possible that you're here to confirm that you won the betting pool?" Naruko asked.
"Many things are possible," Fate said.
Naruto laughed and slung an arm around the younger girl. "Ha! That's great, dattebayo! But you should have told us."
Fate glared at Naruto. "If we had told you, you would have made sure to send back a bunch of clones in each betting window as a prank so we wouldn't know who won."
"Exactly! Think of the wasted opportunity, dattebayo!"
"I'd rather think of the yen," Fate said dryly. "Speaking of, what are you doing here?"
"Shopping," Hinata said. "Naruto has a new apartment back home. We need to furnish it."
Fate whistled. "You're lucky you didn't wait another couple days."
Hinata blanched. "Hayate?"
Elsewhere…
Signum held up a thin black riding crop. "Mistress Hayate, I'm not sure this device is appropriate bedroom decoration."
Fate shook her head. "You wish."
Shamal took the crop from Signum. "You just don't appreciate it enough," she said. "Why don't I demonstrate?"
Naruto shuddered. "That would have been horrible."
Kurenai looked curiously at Naruto.
Naruto considered for a moment. "If a woman named Shamal ever offers you something out of her closet, run away."
"Noted," Kurenai said. She noted another bit of lost innocence in Naruto and Hinata. Perverts tended to do that.
"So what were you planning on buying?" Fate asked.
"Well…"
"A box that creates a genjutsu?" Kurenai asked, looking over the hologram.
"It's a computer with a holographic terminal," Naruto said. "Kinda like Gungnir but not as smart and can't do jutsu."
"Then what good is it?" Kiba snorted.
"It'll be able to control everything else we get."
"Cameras? Robotic arms? Chakra sensors?"
"So the computer can tell if my plants need watering," Naruto explained.
Kurenai looked at enough equipment to secure a high security safe house and boggled at it being used to water a genin's plants.
"Naruto! I was wondering when you would be coming back. That bed you got wasn't suitable at all."
Kurenai nodded to herself. No one needed a bed that big.
"Look, Mr. Lander, I told you before, I don't need a bigger bed."
Kurenai nodded…wait. What?
"Oh come on, that bed's barely big enough for a baby." Lander sighed. "Okay, so what are you in for?"
"Got a new place, and no one makes a mattress like you do."
"Got that right! C'mere, let me show you what I have in stock."
Later, Kurenai privately decided that she didn't want to know why anyone would want a bed larger than some swimming pools. Also, Hiashi should never learn of this.
"You have to be making this up," Kiba objected.
"It does strain credibility," Kurenai agreed.
Hinata pouted. "It's true!"
"Why would anyone invent a robot broom?"
"Vacuum cleaner," Naruko corrected.
"That makes even less sense!" Kiba objected.
Fate giggled.
"No," Kurenai said firmly.
"No?" Naruto asked.
"It's against Konoha policy for a genin to own anything capable of tracking all ramen in the village in real time."
"That's not fair, dattebayo!"
"It's the law." Or at least it would be after she spoke to the Hokage. There was a Law Against Horrors Beyond Imagining on the books, she thought.
"Are you sure your landlord approved this?" Kiba asked dubiously.
Naruto shrugged. "He said that as long as we didn't devalue the property, we were free to do whatever."
Kurenai looked at Naruto negotiating with a contractor to lay the new wiring in their home. "Ibiki isn't going to like this."
"Who?" Fate asked.
"You don't want to know," Hinata said.
"This is a weird metal."
"It's gold cable treated for magic conductivity," Fate said. "Naruto, you sure about this?"
"What could possibly go wrong?"
"You are not buying that," Kurenai said.
"Awww, but Kurenai-senssseeeeeeiiii," Naruto whined.
"No. We tempted fate enough with the robot maid."
"I only got that because the vacuum cleaner freaked you out worse."
"Dammit, Naruto, stop buying things that bend reality!"
Fate put her finger to her lips. "You know, I always wondered if Naruto had that effect on everyone."
Hinata blushed heavily.
Kurenai looked at the crates that contained the Uzumakis' new possessions. "Naruto, you may have forgotten something."
"You'll let me buy the vacuum cleaner?"
"No. How are you getting this back home? You can't jutsu all of it there, can you?"
"Ummm…not exactly," Naruto admitted.
"Naruto. What have you done?"
"I got us a ride?" Naruto offered.
Naruko facepalmed. Hinata eeped.
Kiba observed this and wasn't sure if he should be excited or scared beyond all reason.
"Naruto," Kurenai repeated. "What have you done?"
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(Posted Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:53)
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