Faking It - Mature Lover: Ranma, Rescuer of Innocence! (Yeah, Right...) (LIME) [Episode 252881]

by St Fan

Ranma couldn’t take it anymore. He had to do something. And there probably would never be a better time to confront his little cheating, hypocrite, child-molester of a fiancée. Not when he could catch her with the hand in the honey pot... jar... whatever.

He was shortly tempted to disrobe himself and to pretend he’d walked in for a bath, only to “accidentally” surprise them... but Akane would never swallow that, and seeing him in the nude would just fuel her rage. Better not waste a second.

Without further ado, Ranma plain and simply opened the door and stepped in the furo room. “Okay, that’s enough...” he somberly said.

Akane and Temari, caught in mid-kiss, just jumped in fright. Akane stumbled and landed on her rump, but this delayed her from reacting only for a split-second. She blanched as she realized she was naked with her unwanted fiancé in the same room — just a few minutes after warning him not to peep, to boot.

“You pervert!” she exploded, throwing a wooden pal at his face. Ranma casually deflected it with the back of his arm, scowling.

“Oh yeah, you sure are one to talk, Akane-chan...” he drawled, the use of the unusual endearing suffix dripping with sarcasm.

Akane’s furor shortly struggled with her modesty. She probably would have flown into a full berserk rage, uncaring of her nudity, if not for Temari’s presence. The latter had pretty much frozen like a deer caught in a car light. The Tendô girl was feeling mightily protective of her young sparring partner. In a swift move, Akane wrapped her in a towel — and while at it, did the same for herself, glaring balefully at Ranma. This didn’t take long, but still was enough to cool down very slightly.

“Get out!” she demanded venomously of her fiancé, swinging at him with her fist, which he ducked under.
“Oh yeah, right... so that you can keep pawing your little friend in peace? I don’t think so, Akane.”
Temari blushed, still sitting on the stool with her legs close to her body, glancing back and forth at the teenagers.
“What are you talking about!?” Akane protested. “We... I... wasn’t doing anything wrong!”
“Oh, really? Methinks you were maybe washing her a bit too closely, here. It was bordering on internal massage, I’d say....”
“You creep! You were peeping, just as I forbidden you! How dare you...!”
“Yeah, well, maybe it was a good thing I did!” Ranma retorted defensively. “Considering the things you were about to do....”
“It-It was nothing like that!” Akane denied. “Nothing like your sick mind could come up with! I would never hurt Temari-chan!”
“It’s true, Ranma-kun!” Temari finally interjected. “Akane-chan and me, we were just... playing a game she’d shown me...”

Ranma crossed his arms and looked down at Akane, who was trembling in mixed fury and worry. “No kidding... so, that’s how you sold it to her, Akane? That it was a new, exciting game you could play together in the furo, away from prying eyes?”
“Er...” Akane stumbled on her words, embarrassment at getting caught now starting to overwhelm her anger.
“Yes, it is!” Temari answered in her place. “We were just having fun, Ranma-kun. You shouldn’t be mad at Akane-chan.”
“It’s not that simple, Temari-chan.” the boy told her with a sigh. “How many times did you two... played this game?”
“That’s none of your business, Ranma!” Akane snarled.
“Just a few times...” Temari told him, sheepish.
“And you... didn’t freak out the first time she started touching you?”
“Ranma...” Akane growled menacingly.
“No... it was a bit weird, but Akane-chan told me how much fun this could be, and she was right and I really enjoyed this new game...”
“That’s enough, Ranma!” Akane cut off. “Now, get out of here before I get really mad!”

Ranma lowered a heavy glare on his fiancée. For all her bravado, he could tell she was trembling. “Now, Akane, this is serious. Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t tell your father, or Kasumi, what kind of games you were teaching to your young friend?”
“WHAT!!?”

Ranma knew he’d hit a sore point. If Akane had bothered for so long to use him as a decoy in order to deflect suspicions about her, it was first and foremost because she didn’t want her family to learn of her proclivities. She didn’t care that much if there were rumors, as long as nobody close to her believed any of them. Especially her dear daddy, who would never listen to such allegations without direct proof, and would probably go all demon-headed toward the bearer of bad news. As for Kasumi, of course, Akane dearly looked up to her older sister, and wouldn’t want to disappoint her.

“You can’t do that!” Akane whimpered. “You would never... you’re not enough...” she babbled next, “It wasn’t that bad!” Then she returned to a more offensive mood. “And it’s nothing compared to all the perverted thing you keep doing... with... with Shampoo... or Kodachi... or Ukyô...”

Ranma let out a weary sight. “Oh, cut it out, Akane. You know perfectly well I ain’t doing anything ‘perverted’ with Ukyô or Shampoo... as much as Shampoo would like too.” Naturally, he didn’t have to get into any detail about whom he’d been intimate with, just deny the aforementioned girls, to keep being honest. Since his fiancée never accused him specifically of having done something perverted with Cologne, or Linlin and Ranran, there was no need to get specific, right?

“Ha! You think I’m going to believe you, when I found Shampoo in your bed not even a week ago?” Akane countered.

“Yeah, except that you know nothing happened. ‘Cause if it did, she surely would have told you, right? She probably could never shut up about it. I’m pretty sure you’ve been exchanging... pillow talk.” Ranma offhandedly retorted.

Akane’s face turned white, as all blood was leaving it in a rush. “Wha-wha-what are you babbling about, Ranma? That make no sense... you-you know me and your other suitors just can’t get along at all....”
“Oh, drop the pretense, Akane. You really think I would never notice what you were up with your rug-munching friends? Seriously? After all this time? Come on, you were never that discreet to begin with. Or did you truly think I was that dumb?”

Now, Akane was panicking for good. “He knows... he knows... he knows... how could he know?! That’s not possible! He wouldn’t... why would he... whatIamgoingtodo??” were her frantic thoughts. She instinctively pulled the towel snugger over her nude body, appalled.

“You’re wondering why I never mentioned it before?” Ranma guessed, savoring the distraught look on her face. “To tell the truth, Akane, it was basically because I didn’t care. Now, honestly... you could have just asked me to help covering up, rather than try to keep up this ridiculous masquerade for so long. That would have certainly spared me lots of trouble. But no, you three had to use me as the local schmuck to distract everybody from the fact you just liked clams much more than sausages....”

Akane was outraged by the latter crude description, and about to say something when Ranma cut her out by pointing at Temari-chan.

“But now, you’ve gone too far, Akane. I could forgive you for all those orgies with your dyke friends, but I can’t let you corrupt the youth...”

’Cause I’m doing such a better job at it...” some part of his brain added, a picture of Linlin and Ranran springing to mind. But it was immediately silenced by the rest of his ashamed consciousness.

Temari had been a bit lost from the conversation, not understanding about Ranma’s latest grievances toward Akane. But now that he brought back the topic to herself, she was ready to defend her friend anew. “Don’t be mean to Akane-chan! She wasn’t doing anything bad. We were just playing.”
“You don’t understand, Temari-chan...” Ranma began. “That game you were playing... it’s very much an adult game. You should be older before you’d ever...”
“Oh, yes. I know that.” The little girl countered ruefully.
“Hu?”
“I’ve heard it plenty of times. There are games that are for grown-ups... for grown-ups only... you’re too much of a kid to even ask about them...”
“Uh, yes, but...”
“Well, that stinks! I’m sick of it. I mastered plenty of games, and I’m better at it than most older people! Why can’t I learn about those too? I’ll get just as good as with the Cat’s Cradle or the Iron Tops or the Bean-Bags...”

Saotome sweatdropped. Of course, given that her martial art was entirely based around classic games, Temari Kaminarimon would get offended at the suggestion that she couldn’t learn about those played by grown-ups. Especially since she was good enough to beat many adult martial artists, as her short stint as Dojo Yaburi did prove. Ranma glared at his fiancée, who had the good grace to look a bit guilty. “Good job, Akane. Now, really, you did great, there...” he caustically told her.

Now, the pigtailed boy was a bit at a loss about how to explain to the kid why she wasn’t supposed to let butch lesbians grope her everywhere while in the bath. He opted for a different approach. “Well, there’s also the little problem that Akane’s my fiancée... those kind of games, she’s supposed to play them with me and not with someone else...”
“Why you...” Akane groaned in disgust. “What is that hentai trying to teach to her poor vulnerable, young mind? After all the work I’ve done warning her about perverted men!” she thought in outrage.
“But I’m not here often...” Temari noted, puzzled, a finger cutely touching her mouth. “You can play fiancés games all the time between yourselves... I’m not going to bother you....”
“Aaaah... it ain’t working like that, Temari-chan...” Ranma tried, now at a loss for words.
Thankfully, Akane was there to help them both dig deeper. “Yes! It’s not like I would ever let that sick pervert touch me like that anyway! Did you not listen to what I’ve taught you, Temari-chan? Men are GROSS!”
Ranma’s eyes crossed in renewed annoyance.
“Why?” Temari innocently asked. “Is that the same things as when boys say that girls have cooties? ‘Cause I’ve always thought that was dumb... I ain’t have any lice, to begin with...”
“No, it’s much worth than that, you see...” Akane started, only to be interrupted by Ranma.
“That’s more than enough, Akane. I’m not going to let you turn her into a lesbian. You’ve done plenty damage already.”
Akane harrumphed angrily, but she didn’t dare add anything.

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(Posted Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:58)


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