Mischief Fragment - Apotheosis: Konoha Ramen Festival [Episode 253654]

by Kestral

It was one of those times that the Leaf Village, aka Konoha, alias Konohagakure, really seemed to shine. Teuchi, owner of Ichiraku Ramen, both eagerly anticipated and dreaded the day. The reason for both was the same - it was his busiest day of the year.

Even people who hated Naruto, who felt that he was a monster in human guise, and who didn't normally eat ramen - would have a bowl or participate in a contest or the parade with the shrine battle ending or something.

There were young pretty girls in miko costumes. Young men showing off. Treats to eat, prizes to win, and ramen.

Three years had passed since Naruto Uzumaki had become a god (dattebayo!) and the Konoha Ramen Festival was about to occur again for its second time.

There was also the genin test soon, where Naruto would be (most likely) graduating from the Ninja Academy.

Hinata knew all this, sharing a class with Naruto. Working at the shrine every so often, sometimes with her sister. She found it calming, something that centered her.

"Second Annual Konohagakure Ramen Festival, welcome!" said Hinata, bowing to an elderly couple that had approached the altar.

"Fortune please," asked the man.

"Of course, sir," said Hinata, shaking the octagonal box until a numbered stick fell out - then pulling the appropriate scroll.

Judging from the man's expression, or lack of it, he'd done this before. The scroll was blank for a moment, then slowly filled in with script.

"Improved karma," said the elderly woman in the simple kimono. "That's one of the good ones, I think."

"Certainly better than last year," agreed the elderly man. "Ah, look here."

"Oh dear," said the woman. "'A snake in the grass brings danger at the end of the year.'"

"That doesn't sound good," agreed the man, going to the altar and tossing a few coins in the receptacle. "Think I'll pick up a snakebite kit, just in case."

The two festival-goers departed quickly, discussing the various eating places and whether to go with one of the ramen stalls or just get a pair of juices and wait a bit.

Hinata watched the crowd for a few moments when she frowned and looked towards the roof of a nearby place. "Hanabi?"

"Almost done," said her little sister in her miko outfit, putting the brush aside.

"Byakugan," said Hinata, activating her bloodline with a single handseal.

"Byakugan," echoed Hanabi a moment later. "Oh. Who are they?"

"I don't think they're here for ramen," said Hinata as she tossed the fortune stick, hitting a sign that swiveled the [Open} around to reveal [Temporarily Closed] on the other side. Something she'd gotten very good at lately.

Hanabi regarded the apparently-empty roof for a moment, before stepping out to the walkway. Her long sleeves fluttered almost like wings as she whipped through a set of hand-seals. "Katon: Tamaya!"

Blue, green, red, and yellow streams of sparkling light shot from the five year old's sleeves to make explosions all around the rooftop. As the sparkles spread out in a fireworks flare, several shapes faded into visibility.

Hinata was already racing through her own set of hand-seals. "Onmyoji! Defense Barrier!"

Seals surrounding the shrine flared with power and the barrier settled into place seconds before the kunai could hit.

Hinata settled into a meditative stance and began chanting to reinforce the barrier, Hanabi standing by.


"That was Hanabi's gift," said Kurenai, putting down her sake cup. "The 'Katon: Tamaya' wasn't it?"

"The fireworks display?" asked Anko. "It isn't late enough in the afternoon to use that."

Kurenai watched for a moment, then frowned. "Enemy-nin. Looks like Iwa. Four of them on that roof."

"Well, then," said Anko, pulling out a whistle and giving three quick notes on it. Putting it back in her coat, Anko smiled. "I think we should give them a welcome."


"SHIT!" said Jiro as their stealth jutsu fell apart amongst all the sparks. Whatever that attack had been - it hadn't done any physical damage but it had disrupted the technique in an instant.

Kunai loaded with explosive tags were thrown back, only to hit a smoky-transparent wall that formed around the shrine.

"Oh, THAT'S great, NOW what do we do?" asked Kimi.

"We can't run, but if we manage to kill the kid anyway we at least keep Konoha from getting any stronger," said Jiro, drawing his twin swords.

"I think hot pink signal chicken... chicken?" asked Kimi.

"Someone break Kimi's genjutsu," said Jiro, figuring it out almost instantly. Obviously a genjutsu of some kind that caused her speech to come out gibberish. "Ragi, Nail, be ready - we're already under attack."

"Tutu commandment test reject!" swore Kimi, trying to make handsigns and finding that her coordination seemed to be at nearly newborn levels.

"You are trespassing," said a woman as she rose up out of the rooftiles. "The ramen festival is down below."

"Sunshine daisy lever sequins!" said Kimi as she reached for her ninjato and threw it. "Squirrel waterspout?"

"Your genjutsu takes actions of the target and randomizes it?" said Jiro. "Well, once you're dead - so is your genjutsu."

"Supreme water dragon!" said the woman, making a single handseal and blasting Kimi off the roof.

"Are you ignoring -" Jiro stopped to whirl around and block a kunai that had been heading for his kidneys.

"Nah," said the trenchcoat-wearing woman. "She just wanted to give me a chance to let some steam off. By the way, this is a shadow clone."

"What?" said Jiro, twisting to see where the real kunoichi was, and that was standing over Ragi's body while fighting Nail.

The shadow clone smirked. "And we're just holding you here until ANBU decides they've seen enough. Right, guys?"

"As you say," said one of the masked figures that had just landed on the roof.

Jiro snarled for a moment, then smiled. "Distraction complete."


"So, Naruto," said the Hokage, taking a draw on his pipe. "How are your studies coming?"

"Great, jiji!" said Naruto cheerfully. "The only problem I've been having is with the Clone technique."

The Hokage nodded. "Well, that could be a-"

"DIE, ABOMINATIONNNNNN oh bloody hell," said a group of nin who had just charged around a corner and prepared to attack the civilian before he could become a ninja.

Which meant that two jonin-level attackers had just realized that their underage target was meeting with the Hokage, four members of ANBU, and a genin team which had apparently come here for a blessing.

"Gai-sensei?" said a member of that genin team.

The abomination in question reached over and grabbed a scroll, then tossed it to one of the two jonin.

The jonin who caught it unfurled it to read, then rolled it back up.

"What did it say?" asked the other jonin, going back-to-back with his partner and drawing a kunai.

"'Today's forecast: Very Bad Luck'," said the first jonin enemy-nin.

"I had a feeling," said the second jonin.


"Okay," said Iruka, two days later. "Time for team selection."

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(Posted Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:32)


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