The front lawn of Tomobiki High School…
"AH!"
Hearing that, both Phoenix and Wolverine jolted before they turned to stare warily at Infinity, who had sat herself down on the front steps of the old high school and seemed to be dozing off. The other Terrans-turned-Yizibajohei — the second Terra, Windtalker, Carcajou, the Weaver, Soul Searcher, Warwind, Caltrop and Prodigy; they had been joined by all the girls from Sweet Valley as well — that were present just gazed quizzically at her. "What is it, Ōsaka?" Soul Searcher asked. "You sense something?"
A giggle…which sounded like maniacal laughter to the uninitiated. "Miriya-chan's here!" she then said. "She brought a whole lot of her friends, too!"
Silence.
More silence.
Still more silence.
And then…
"The Zentraedi are coming here?!" Soul Searcher asked as several of the other people present — all of whom remembered their many past adventures with the race of giant humanoids from Fantoma, especially in helping them live free and independent lives after the Robotech Masters were killed by Galactus — exchanged knowing looks.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!" Infinity trilled out. "Looks like they spotted that dork D'Ken coming here, heard he wants to do a fight-scene with me, then decided to come help out!" She then perked. "Oh! Miriya-chan's a brigade commander now! She's in charge of Azonia-chan's old brigade!" A sigh. "Azonia-chan…wonder where she is…" she trilled out again before she closed her eyes.
"Who are the Zentraedi?" Phoenix then asked.
"A race of giant bioroids, Doctor Grey," the Academician answered. "Created as slave labourers and later soldiers for a race of fanatics calling themselves 'Robotech Masters.' One of them found this heavy meson-charged flower species on a planet named Optera years ago and began experimenting with it to create an organic type of technology they nicknamed 'protoculture' that would have really caused problems for all their neighbours until they stupidly visited the planet where the flower had first been found…and then tried to render the whole planet barren when the Lady K'ekhech of Ait'uch Nehech was there. And she…" A smirk. "Didn't take it too well."
"Crazy flower kid!" Wolverine muttered as he remembered the one time he had met up with She Who Speaks to Dragons, shortly after the fight between the X-Men and the Imperial Guard of the Shi'ar. A band of Noukiite highwayman had strayed to Earth after being pursued out of their space — Noukiios controlled the fourth world of Alpha Centauri, which they named "Tengsei," thus making them Earth's closest galactic neighbours — by the forces of the Imperial Dominion. Landing near New York, the highwaymen — thinking the less-advanced Terrans would be easy pickings — decided to see what they could pillage…and wound up drawing the attention of several dozen heroes from the Big Apple and the nearby environs, including the X-Men!
In the midst of this, a crimson-haired warrior in a black-and-white uniform similar to the standard Yizibajohei jumpsuit pattern — but in a two-piece format — appeared in the skies over the fight-scene, and then dove in to rip through them with a battleaxe-halberd that was so heavily enchanted, it deflected a direct strike from Thor Odinson's Mjölnir as well as resisted attempts by Wolverine to destroy it with his claws. Of course, said woman — whose full name Logon could NEVER remember, but he did remember her childhood name "Kyech" — didn't seem to care that she was forced to battle native metahumans while she was carrying out her assigned duties as a "free warrior" of the Imperial Dominion. Not even Superman's strength could deter the Dragonspeaker from doing what she had been doing for years in the Noukiite Outmarches. Fortunately — before it turned into an all-out brawl against the alien warrior — the Men In Black arrived and moved to calm things down. The highwaymen — those not killed by Kyech — were bundled up and sent back to Tengsei for due processing of law. And Kyech — after utterly gushing over Superman's pet dog Krypto, nearly crushing the poor pooch with her hug…thus making the little fella flee for his life to the Fortress of Solitude in the Antarctic! — thanked everyone for their help before actually PETTING Wolverine on the forehead, then kissing a blushing Thor on the cheek before she teleported back to her homeworld.
Phoenix tried not to laugh on seeing her Canadian friend mutter all sorts to choice oaths about idiot alien naginata-welders who were addicted to cute things.
"So what happened?" Miyake Shinobu — she had been allowed to stay with the metas out of respect for her own feelings for Moroboshi Ataru — then asked.
"The Lady K'ekhech got Galactus to make a meal out of the Robotech Masters' homeworld of Tirol, a moon of a planet Krypton's size named Fantoma," the Academician replied. "Once the Zentraedi were free, we — not to mention mystics the Lady K'ekhech found on other planets — had to help those poor people try to learn how to be other things than mere warriors!" A shake of the head. "And it was HARD!"
"Sure was," Prodigy mused.
"Why, Chiyo-chan?" Aisaka Sayo asked.
"Because the Zentraedi were totally segregated by gender in EVERYTHING, Sayo-san," the young genius from Nakano replied. "They didn't understand ANYTHING about love, dating, being intimate with each other…and especially the idea of having CHILDREN!" She pointed to Infinity. "Ōsaka-san there met a group of them with Ataru-san on a planet near Fantoma when they were both seven years ago. Would you believe that back then, they didn't even understand what the concept of 'sister' meant?!" As Sayo and Shinobu gaped, Prodigy nodded. "Hai! It's all true! I bet even now, male Zentraedi always panic whenever female Zentraedi try to go on a date with them!"
"Yeah, that was utterly sad," Trebuchet said as she shook her head before she exchanged a knowing look with Rampage. "We helped out back in junior high school shortly after we got our Gifts. The girls — they actually called themselves 'Meltraedi' as if they were a separate race — were just wonderful people to be around! But the boys…"
Cyclotron laughed. "They'd scream and run away if we even gave them a hug!"
"And if we kissed them on the cheek…?!" Warwind asked as she cackled.
All the Yizibajohei laughed. "That bad?" Phoenix asked.
"That bad and then some, Jean," Rampage answered. "Like Amy here said, it was just pain awful to watch them! I mean, when they were fighting and all that, they were just as good as Captain Castle or Logan here." She waved to Wolverine. "But try to make them do anything else and they were totally CLUELESS! It was just so PATHETIC!"
"So what could happen if the Zentraedi and the Shi'ar mix it up?" Wolverine asked.
The Academician shook her head. "Hard to predict, Mister Logan."
"Um…I have a question."
Eyes locked on Shinobu. "What is it?" Soul Searcher asked.
"Do Lum's people know about them?" Ataru's would-be girlfriend asked as she thumbed the great cigar-shaped cruiser floating high over the metropolis.
"Ah! I knew I forgot something!"
Soul Searcher moaned. "What did you forget THIS time, Ōsaka?!" she demanded.
Infinity stood. "Haruhi-chan, Jess-chan, Tomo-chan, Molly-chan, you go up to see Lum-chan," she then bade. "I'm going over to get Tara-chan. Be right back."
And with a flash, she vanished. "Oh, brother!" Soul Searcher breathed out before she concentrated. «Xavier-hakase?! Kennison-shōsa?! We got a problem!»
Approaching Japan, an hour from Tomobiki…
"The ZENTRAEDI?!"
"A whole brigade's worth," Major Christopher Lightholler, the officer commanding the 9th Specialised Warfare Defence Squadron — the group of highly-trained normal troopers that dealt with metahuman problems in British Columbia and the Yukon, plus also was the core group that deployed anywhere in the Pacific basin whenever the Regiment's power was needed beyond Canada's borders — affirmed as he gazed on the small gathering of hero team leaders in the meeting hall of the lead CY-199 (tail code 19901 and given the call-sign Nunavut One) now soaring over the Emperor Seamounts south of the Aleutian Islands and Russia's Kamčátka Peninsula. "According to Lieutenant Stirling — he's the boss of the group that went out to Ceres to speak to the Zentraedi observation post on that planet — it's Miriya Parina's brigade, the Quadronos."
"Their elite forces," the Batman mused.
A nod. "No doubt, they picked up the Shi'ar approaching Earth and decided to investigate themselves. Especially when they learned D'Ken wants Miss Kasuga."
People breathed out in either annoyance of exasperation. "Wonderful! A fight between two intergalactic powers near our planet…and within range of a whole host of local powers that don't know the full truth about what goes on beyond the Galactic Barrier!" Reed Richards stated. "The Noukiites won't mind it since the Zentraedi look favourably on them thanks to what Kyech did…but the Urusians, much less the Niphentaxians…?"
"What of the cobalt bomb?" Captain America asked.
"Haruhi teleported it into a pocket dimension away from Earth," Telepath answered the Avengers' leader. "I was able to talk her out of dropping it on Lumukyō…"
«Xavier-hakase?! Kennison-shōsa?! We got a problem!»
Everyone perked on hearing that young woman's voice in their minds. "Yomi?!" Superman asked, recognising the voice of the most level-headed of Kasuga Ayumu's classmates.
«Hai, Kent-san! Ōsaka just picked up on…»
"The Zentraedi. We're aware of that, Yomi," Charles Xavier stated.
«Well, you better warn Tara-san. Ōsaka's…»
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL…?! ŌSAKA! DON'T…!"
Everyone winced. "A little late, Miss Mizuhara," Lightholler stated.
«Sorry…»
The others all laughed, save for the Batman…
…though both Telepath and Charles Xavier did sense the amused smile on his face.
In the skies over Tomobiki…
"ŌSAKA! YOU QUEEN OF ALL AIRHEADS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?!"
"Oh, my! It's Tara-chan! Ayumu-chan brought Tara-chan here today!"
Terra jerked on hearing THAT voice, and then she giggled as she turned to warily gaze on the Hearth Witch, which was giving the young Markovian-American geo-kinetic one of her patented I know you've done something wrong! smiles. "Kasumi…"
"Tara-chan, when are you going to stop smoking?" the woman born Tendō Kasumi asked as she gave the younger woman a knowing look. "Much that I understand how much Ataru-kun loves to give you leeway when it comes to your bad habits, if you're going to start forming relationships with Ayumu-chan and the others, they may not appreciate it."
The blonde mercenary ducked her head. "Sorry…"
Infinity gestured with her hand to make the lit cigarette in Terra's hand disappear. By then, the other Yizibajohei and their friends had come over to join them. "Hey, Tara!" Wildflower stated as she waved. "You wouldn't believe what happened to Ranma!"
Terra perked. "What?!"
A smirk. "He became Mustang!"
Silence.
More silence.
Still more silence.
And then…
"Oh, my!" the Hearth Witch breathed out. "Nabiki-chan, how does that affect the Bet?"
The Adjudicator hummed. "Well, a lot of folks did bet on Ataru-kun becoming the next Mustang. Looks like they'll lose out." She shook her head. "But how…?"
"My dear, what is Mustang's most common attribute?" Albus Dumbledore asked.
"He's the one that can't be tamed!" the woman born Tendō Nabiki explained. "But that fits Ataru-kun to a 'T,' Kōchō-sensei! Ranma-kun…" She then hummed.
"It would fit Ranma quite well," the Warlock mused.
"True…"
"Nabiki-san?"
People gazed on Tempest. "What is it, Lum?" the Adjudicator asked.
"Can I make a wager on the Bet?" the Oni warlord's daughter asked.
A nod. "Go for it," the metahuman ambassador stated as she drew out a dataPADD from her belt pocket and tapped a control to make a note.
"What's the standard wager?" Tempest then asked the man born Harry Potter.
"Fifty galleons. Or equivalent of same," the Warlock provided.
"Tcha! Fifty galleons…and it's a total unknown or seldom-remembered line that Darling gets in the end," the transformed Lum then declared. "Yes, Darling doesn't like people forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do. No doubt a subconscious reaction to what the creeps that made him forget Negako-san did to him. But if you DO approach Darling in the right way — as Tara-san and Ayumu-san have — he'll care for you a hundred-and-ten percent." A giggle. "I finally figured that out."
"You mean you were given the chance to figure it out," the Adjudicator stated as she tapped controls. "Okay, Tempest with fifty, total unknown or seldom-known."
"What is this bet, Nabiki-san?" Oyuki asked.
"It's a wager all the girls who got Gifts thanks to Darling — plus Harry-san and Kanami-san's brother, too — are making as to what sort of Gift he'll receive when he finally gives in and presents himself to the Crystal, Oyuki-chan," Tempest answered.
"WHAT?! NEVER!"
Eyes locked on a shuddering Invader. "Who's gonna stop it from happening, Fatsy?!" Terra snarled as her body began to lightly glow, that making the whole of the Redet Glory shudder violently. As Invader croaked and Benten scrambled as far from the glowing geo-kinetic as she could go while still remaining in the room — the others, including Oyuki, remained quite calm — the mercenary then added, "Thanks to YOUR race of selfish sames, the man I love — the man we all care for — got his memories wiped out and he got turned into something he sure as fuck wasn't! Who the fuck gives him back a whole YEAR of his life, huh?! He never volunteered for your stupid Tag Race! You stuck a damned GUN to his back and MADE him participate! Just like you did THIS time, too! It's a fucking lucky thing there're people who are smart enough to make sure anything you jerks pull doesn't go beyond the borders of Tomobiki!"
"Eh?" Tempest gasped.
"Magicals, Lum," Dumbledore stated, clearly relaxing himself even if the ship he was on was still shuddering even though Terra was trying to control herself. "I was part of a group from the International Confederation of Wizards that were sent here to Tomobiki to keep the alien mushroom plague from escaping the city. Not to mention put up an illusion — which could be seen in orbit as well — that made your people and the Yaminokuni believe the whole planet was under threat."
Silence.
"May I ask why you did that?" Oyuki wondered.
"Quite simple, my dear. It's sometimes quite easier to make a potential enemy think you are NOT so threatening to them if you don't show you can deal with them on an equal — if not greater-than-equal — footing. By doing so — given the many previous times alien races have attacked Earth — the Men In Black, with the help of the International Confederation of Wizards, made the Urusians believe there was nothing truly threatening about Earth. Yes, there is the odd metahuman or so, but those were isolated cases in other nations. And as was just proven with Ataru, it would be quite easy to make people believe such things. Especially in the only part of Earth where citizens of the various worlds of the Galactic Federation were allowed unrestricted access to."
"You TRICKED us…?!"
That was a pale Invader. "In a way, yes," Dumbledore stated. "We protected ourselves by making you feel safe launching your 'invasion' right to the point where you decided on an honourable way to allow us to 'win our freedom.' At the same time, we made sure you never learned of certain things so that — were you not so charitable — we could be prepared to deal with you as the situation demanded."
Tempest giggled. "You had to admit, Daddy, they had the right to do that."
"But Lum…!"
His transformed daughter scowled. "The cobalt bomb?"
Invader jerked…as a laugh echoed from nearby after a flash of energy produced a whole group of people in Yizibajohei jumpsuits, all led by the Weaver. "Off the planet and out of the hands of your so-called 'most faithful,' Lum-chan," the transformed Suzumiya Haruhi stated as she came up to gently grasp Tempest's hand in her own. "No doubt, they'll be bawling like kids do after their favourite toy was taken away…for the brief few seconds before Raeburn-shōsa's friends sweep 'em away!"
Tempest perked. "Eh?! You mean Maria-san and her friends?!"
"Hai! They'll…!"
"BOSS!"
"WHAT?!" Invader bellowed on hearing the voice of his first officer.
"Boss, we're picking up over a dozen spacecraft approaching us from North America!" the younger man answered. "Tech scan shows they're light-years ahead of anything we know! And we're picking up metahumans as well! HUNDREDS of them! They're coming this way!"
As Invader turned very pale, Warwind chuckled. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh…" the crazy warrior of passion said as she gazed on Lum's father. "You're in trouble, Tubby! Sounds to me like you're about to experience the Mother of All Fight Scenes!"
"Again," Rampage added with a wink as we…
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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