Exhaling deeply, the leader of the Village inquired, “And young Lee?”
Rabbit seemed hesitant. “As for young Rock Lee... it’s something we’re still trying to understand the full extent of ourselves.”
That made the Third Hokage raise an eyebrow in curiosity. “...What do you mean, Rabbit? That you don’t know what’s going?”
“Oh, not that... it’s just it seems that the process Kabuto performed on the boy had more than ONE effect on him...”
Sarutobi winced. “...Kami-sama! Is the kid going to be all right?”
The woman seemed to perk up a little. “He should be but there’s going to be lot of adapting ahead of the boy. As for what he’s going through...” she seemed hesitant. “Before I begin. Do you remember the former Hyuga Heiress’ situation?”
That made the elder ninja wince. “Hard to forget... first the girl was attacked, her eyes gouged out of her skull, blinded, openly abandoned by her clan, then she ended up being taken in by Naruto... who then lost her as someone kidnapped her and made her the FIRST experiment to this Genetic Recombinator of Orochimaru’s...” he frowned and looked to one of the male ANBU. “Speaking of which, that thing IS under lock and key, right?”
Nodding his head, Pig replied, “And more Tags and Seal Arrays than you can and would even want to shake a stick at.”
Pleased to hear that security was already on it, the leader of Konoha turned his attention back to Rabbit. “Continue,” he told the female ANBU.
Nodding her head, the Medic-Nin of the ANBU Corps replied, “Yes, Hokage-sama... but in becoming spliced with a DNA cocktail we’ve determined was a Forest of Death Konoha Tiger cut with some Housecat to ease the aggressiveness and allow for control... it gave her back her eyes.”
Again, the Hokage nodded. Yes, such was a lucky turn of events. She wouldn’t be allowed back into the Hyuga Clan but she could resume her training at the Academy. “Yes, this is true. And?”
“Well... something similar happened to Rock Lee,” the Kunoichi in a Bunny Mask started. “While we’ve only seen it with two out of the five children—three if Naruto actually shows mental improvement—that were experimented on, it would seem that when a person is spliced, the second set of DNA, upon being added...” she paused, as if mentally searching for the right words. “It fills in any gaps that may be apparent in the chosen subject’s physical attributes. For Hinata, it regenerated her eyes... in Rock Lee’s case, the procedure fixed his chakra coils.”
Hiruzen practically shot forward in his chair at this development. “REALLY?”
“Oh yes. And it would seem his element is Fire...” although one could not see the woman’s face, the mirth that seemed to be amidst her was obvious. “We found that out when his ‘Fires of Youth’ accidentally torched Kakashi’s orange book.”
That made the Hokage blink his eyes once, twice. “Ah... so THAT’S what that scream earlier was...”
Nodding her head, Rabbit was quick to reply, “Quite. It would seem that having the development of his chakra coils finished after so long and a year of training under Maito Gai was enough to bring forth quite the explosive results.”
“...How explosive are we talking about?” the Sandaime Hokage asked, just to be certain.
The ANBU bluntly stated, “His chakra reserves nearly matches Naruto’s prior to the boy’s own splicing with fox DNA.”
“...Huh,” Sarutobi nodded. Well... that was something to dump on his ‘advisors’... with some additional restraints. No sense to give old One-Eye any leeway.
And if he was lucky, the Flames of Youth would fry the Ice of Senility.
Then again, he would have a few medics and even some families demanding the Recombinator be studied, maybe even Kabuto be fully questioned, to see whatever medical miracles the thing might possess.
I’ll leave that for my replacement; no way am I dealing with that shit pile. the Hokage surmised before asking, “Anything else?”
“Yes," Rabbit said firmly. “Concerning what he was spliced with... the boy has been genetically modified with Mongoose DNA."
Now THAT caught the old man’s attention. “Mongoose you say?”
The female ANBU nodded her head firmly. “Yes, Hokage-sama,” Rabbit answered as she listed off from eidetic memory what she’d learned. “Like the others, Young Rock Lee possesses ears and tail; in his case, a tail that is VERY prehensile and can act as a fifth limb, even better than what Naruto can do with his own. His hands now possess non-retractile claws that, while sharp, are actually much thicker than the affected trio of kunoichi-in-training; the functionality of Lee’s are obviously geared towards digging rather than combat. He is also now double-jointed: he can bend his thumbs backwards to his wrists, bend his knee joints backwards, put his leg behind his head, and perform other contortionist acts that are really uncomfortable to watch. And through testing, we’ve also discovered that Rock Lee now has acetylcholine present in his body chemistry.” At the man’s raised eyebrow, she explained. “Acetylcholine are organic, polyatomic ions that acts as neurotransmitters in both the peripheral nervous system and central nervous system; his reaction time is incredible. He managed to snatch Tenten’s thrown kunai out of the air ten out of ten times!”
“Indeed,” the Third Hokage muttered. Oh, that was just great! He could already see his former teammates and his self-declared rival for his titles demanding further study.
He could see it now: the Village would have to change its name if they got their wishes, probably the Hidden Furry Village…
Damn Jiraiya for putting that word in his vocabulary!
“What more,” Rabbit continued. “Through the... er... boisterous efforts of Maito Gai, Naruto has now asked for lessons so his own tail can be used in such a way.”
Closing his eyes for a moment, Sarutobi offered a quick prayer that deep inside the Shinigami’s stomach, Minato was swimming in the most putrid and corrosive acid imaginable. Punk bastard! Too busy nailing his wife to choose and groom a successor who could have taken over after his untimely death!
Still, there might be hope that neither Naruto nor Rock Lee would go out of control. “Does the boy have anything to worry about?”
Now surprisingly, Frog was the one who spoke up. “Yes, Hokage-sama. The acetylcholine present in the boy's nervous system cannot be triggered on command; his speed is greater than a regular Genin his age, but nowhere near his body’s full potential. Instead, it is dependent upon a reactionary based system. His reflexes only kick into gear if someone is striking at him or if there is immediate danger... I watched as he literally plucked one of Anko’s sensor snakes clear out of the ground after he merely felt it passing within the dirt underneath his foot. It never stood a chance!”
That made the legendary ‘Professor’ blink his eyes in surprise. “Okay... that could be very useful.”
“Indeed!” Pig replied. “Maito Gai is now grooming Rock to be the ‘Anti-Orochimaru’. He’s even gone as far as to allow the boy to sign the Turtle Summoning Contract.”
Nodding his head, the Third Hokage held up a hand, signaling them to stop. The man proclaimed as the ‘God of Shinobi’ opened a drawer, pulled out a full jug of sake, and chose a tall glass instead of a saucer. Filling the glass up, he slammed half of it down, and then motioned for them to continue.
“As expected, Anko took to this news, and has offered her personal tutoring for the boy,” Rabbit continued, making some sort of religious sign and offering their own quick prayer. “She even offered to, and I am quoting her, ‘do it now with sixty percent less mental scarring’. Of course, before the boy could be stopped, he boasted that he would overcome any level of scarring, was propositioned by Anko, and consequently passed out.”
Sarutobi nodded, finished off the glass, and refilled it. Taking a moment to steady himself, he glared at the ANBU officer. “Ready, bring it.”
“...Naruto, not having heard what Anko had said to Lee, DESPITE the fact he now has parabolic hearing...” Rabbit sighed. “Still was close enough to see Lee pass out and saw it as a chance to try and one-up the boy. He told Anko that whatever Lee could do, he could do better... so much confidence seemed to generate with the boy that a second tail appeared on him. At that Point, Anko merely threw both Genin and Academy Student over either shoulder and ran off with them. The rest of the ANBU are currently looking for them.”
Finishing his second glass, Sarutobi sighed as he refilled it. “Alert the proper authorities.”
“Already done, but none of them have found the trio yet,” Pig stated.
“Not that!” Sarutobi spat. “Imagine Naruto’s pranking, tainted by Anko’s teaching!!” He had to admit, he was impressed. It was either the sake screwing with his vision, or he had just witnessed white ANBU masks pale. “As such, warn those on the Friendly Prank list, and bring me the Bastard Prank list; I want to change a few bets in the pool before the news gets out.”
“Of course, Hokage-sama but it may be too late,” Rabbit replied. “News is already out amongst the ANBU; Jiraiya realized such was the case and already procured the two lists. He’s currently acting as an in-house gambling bookie on who’s going to lose which digits on their hands and feet: bracketed within the next weeks, months, and year.”
The Sandaime Hokage slammed back his shot before taking a moment to refill it with shaky hands. The bastard! How dare the old fart beat him to the punch? Wasn’t Jiraiya supposed to be busy at the After Party for the Annual Adult Movie Awards!?
“What more,” Rabbit continued, ensuring if need be, she could sacrifice Pig to save her own bacon if the drunken Hokage decided to start punishing the messengers with sharp, pointy things. “We have received word that even Lady Tsunade has discovered this information.”
Sarutobi growled. Really!? Did nothing ever stay secret in this place, a NINJA village!?
“She placed several bets.”
Sarutobi looked up with hope.
“She... won.”
Across the village, a multitude of mothers slapped their hands over their children’s ears, as they heard a very naughty word shouted so loudly, birds took off from their perches into flight.
“I’m trying, darn it!” Hinata growled, trying to track the one who took her Naruto-kun.
“What... do you mean... she won!?” Sarutobi growled, an aura of Killing Intent spiking out around him in all directions, loose dust and bits of earth from the tiled floor starting to come up and rise skyward in a display of power.
Rabbit yelped as her mask cracked, quickly explaining, “She made a long-shot bet with odds of 1,040:1! Somehow, Naruto chose to do JUST that! She... well, she’s probably STILL in debt, but this will cut back on it tremendously.”
Twitching, the Hokage demanded through gritted teeth, “And... what... did... he... do?”
“He doctored the new copy of Icha Icha Paradise that Kakashi bought to replace the one Rock Lee had burnt... with pages of a Yaoi Manga.”
The Killing Intent stopped. “...Huh... well, that explains the SECOND scream.” Leaning back in his seat, Saurtobi tried to console himself with such good news. Perhaps this would motivate Kakashi to be... motivated.
But he had other things to worry about, namely Tsuande’s good luck gambling. No; nothing good came of this. Last time she had won a bet near him, his doctor had ‘slipped’ during a proctology exam... and run out of inflatable donuts for him to sit on.
Hmm... maybe it is about time I release that idiot from the Konoha Strict Correctional Facility...
NAH! “Double all patrols and alert the Intelligence Division! Tell them we have a Code-Double-D!”
His own fault for losing a bet to Jiraiya and allowing the punk to name it that.
“Yes, Hokage-sama!” Pig said as he bowed his head. “We shall warn the people in Intelligence and those in Torture and Interrogation that Anko is up to some of her old tricks again and that they should be on guard.”
Sarutobi twitched. “No, that’s simply ‘Code D’...” he sighed. “But it might be best to get that out too.” Great. Just great. Anko had taken two of the youth who were genetically altered and young enough for her to both mentally scar and physically train into machines of death and destruction...
...And Tsunade, who had THE WORST LUCK IN ALL THE ELEMENTAL COUNTRIES... got lucky. That kind of karma on the pendulum was going to shift something awful! And that’s not even going into what was likely going to happen when word of what had befallen one of Konohagakure’s Genin and a number of its Academy Students made the rounds.
The old man sighed. He wished Biwako was still around. He needed a foot massage more than anything at the moment.
As the man raised a hand and rubbed the side of his head, it was then that ANBU Cat stepped forward. “Hokage-sama?”
He gave the female ANBU a hooded glare. Oh, great, just great... there was even MORE stuff to be laid at his feet. He swore, if this went on much longer, he’d take off and leave the hat, with a note to Naruto about his parents, and that he was the new Fifth Hokage.
He would leave it to one of his students, but Tsunade would never take it—although the recent situation just might get her to return home—stating the place had too many bad memories for her, Jiraiya would change things to the point all female kunoichi would come after him to take back the position again after the new Fifth died ‘under painful and mysterious circumstance’, and Orochimaru... well, he was a prick.
Oh, and a Missing-Nin exile too, but mostly a prick.
“Whatever it is, tell me first: should I down one glass or two before hearing it?”
The woman shook her head. “No glasses! It’s just a request!” At seeing the man relax a little, she explained, “It would seem that this genetic restructuring can fix many ailments once implemented. Perhaps, if Hayate Gekko were to agree to treatment, we could use him as the test subject for when the Fire Daimyo innevitably drops by for a personal demonstration?”
That made Sarutobi’s blood run cold. Of course. The Fire Daimyo. Once he heard, he’d want a demonstration. And then to be a good Head of State, he’d offer other Daimyo to come view for yet ANOTHER demonstration... if the damn thing still worked. He was tempted to just get up, head down to storage, and take a studded kanabo to it then and there.
“However, sir; you may want to take a glass for what comes next.”
“...” He was very glad his wife had passed on, for she would be bitching right now that he was drinking—damn woman never let him have just one vice... that she didn’t share. Downing a third glass, he motioned for her to either come at him or continue.
She chose the latter; Drunken Fighting was a known style of Monkey Contract signers. “We have reason to believe Jiraiya has hinted that the Daimyo may wish also for ‘hot furry test subjects’ as well.”
“...” He downed a fourth glass.
“...Sir?” Rabbit asked, perturbed by the rampant alcoholism of the Village’s Leader.
“I just imagined a scenario for a worse Tora mission,” Sarutobi muttered, hoping the alcohol killed the brain cell that memory was on. He could just imagine... the Daimyo’s wife wishing to be even closer to Tora-the-whatever-number-they-were-on.
Cat nodded her head. “Such would be likely.”
Sarutobi tilted his jug... and frowned as nothing more came out. “Okay! Cat? You want Hayate healed? Fine. New D-Misson! Hit the local Liquor Store and get me a bottle of sake! A good one, not any cheap one-hundred ryo bottle either! I want at least five digits spent!”
That statement made the kunoichi wince behind her mask. It would be expensive, but if it would get her what she needed to help her boyfriend...
“Consider it done, Hokage-sama...” the sword-mistress of the ANBU proclaimed before disappearing in a puff of smoke and shadow.
“Hey... hey...” Anko said as she gave the boys a pat on their faces with either hand... of course, as this was Anko, a pat was more akin to a firm smack. She was starting to cause a hand print to appear on said cherub faces as she tried to get them to awaken.
Little furry bastards! They had such potential so why not wake up already!? Didn’t they know Destiny was calling and that said Destiny ahead of them was hunting down Orochimaru, beating him senseless, dragging his bound and gagged broken body back to her, and then allowing the woman to take her revenge and interrogate him, leaving him alive long enough so she could get the secret behind the Cursed Seal so that she could get the damned thing removed!?
Youth today... SO inconsiderate!
Now... what were boys interested in...
“Look! Boobs!”
...
“Wow, really?” she asked. One would have thought they’d have dropped by now.
Shaking her head, the Special Jounin forced herself to go to the kitchen sink of her secret bunker/playroom—after first trying to remember where it was, as she favored takeout. Getting two cups of water, she tossed it at them, hoping to wake them up.
She smiled as the results were immediate. Water proved to be effective, both boys coughing and sputtering as their bodies were rocked to consciousness.
“No!” Rock Lee cried out, waving his arms wildly as his body bent in ways Anko thought could only be achieved with the right equipment from Torture and Interrogation. “My Fires! Don’t douse my Fires of Youth! I just got them blazing!!”
“Augh! Darn it!” the Kyuubi Container gasped and choked. “What gives!? I just took a shower a couple of days ago for Hinata!”
Raising an eyebrow to the Fox Boy’s comment, the woman decided perhaps HIS first lesson should be was personal hygiene.
Wrinkling her nose, she felt that lesson better be now, as both were kind of... ripe, after spending so long being examined by the Medic-Nin and performing various tests for Intelligence. Growing a leer that would have made hardened ANBU piss themselves in fear—all true, she used it a few times to prove she still had it—she pointed towards a corner of the bunker. “Well, then; can’t have smelly students! To the showers! It’s time for Mistress Anko to train you her way, from the ground, UP!” she finished, adding a bob to her leer.
It—as many things—was completely lost on the boys before her.
“...Will there be soap?” Rock Lee finally asked after an awkward pause. “Gai-sensei always proclaims that cleanliness is next to kaminess, as only a washed soul will be accepted by the Celestial Emperor in the After-Life.”
That made Naruto blink his eyes. "Celestial Emperor?” he asked s he turned towards the Mongoose boy. “I thought we worshipped a Ninja-God?”
The student of Mighty Guy shook his head. “Naruto! Just because we are Ninja does not mean the Gods themselves are!”
Before the Fox Boy—who’s second tail disappeared at some point while being carried to Anko’s hideaway—could speak further and indict himself on his stupidity, the woman replied, “Yes. There will be soap. On a rope. Now! Strip and shower! It’s time for Anko-sensei to build you boys up into the ninja you’re destined to be!”
Naruto quickly turned his head from Lee towards the woman dressed like something he saw on the posters outside the Adult Literature Store. “You’ll train us to meet our destinies? Like me becoming the Hokage!?” the blonde boy asked, ears and whiskers twitching in excitement.
“...Sure. Go with that...”
“ALL RIGHT!” Naruto crowed as he rushed off to the direction Anko had pointed earlier. “Last one in the shower’s a rotten egg!”
“HA!” Lee laughed as he took after the other boy. “If you manage to finish your shower before me, I shall gladly run around Konoha one-hundred times will carrying ten fifty kilogram weights.”
Smiling as clothes went flying, Anko decided that yes, this WAS her happy place.
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(Posted Tue, 21 Aug 2012 03:55)
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